So Over It (12 page)

“Bye!” the two little ones called after me, but I barely heard them over the pounding in my head.

12

“Do you know if Connor and Jodi are dating?”

Abbie couldn’t seem to muster the strength to lift her head off the couch. Instead she rolled her head to look at me, said, “I don’t know,” then rolled back to the TV. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because he might say he is.”

Abbie snorted. “That sounds like something I’d say. You’re normally much more rational.”

“I thought you hated that about me.”

“Nah.” Abbie smiled, but still directed her gaze to the TV. “One of us needs to be.”

Owen shifted on her chest and she patted his back until he resettled. His nose whistled every time he breathed. “You don’t think I should call the doctor?”

“My experience with infants hasn’t changed in the thirty minutes since you last asked me, but Mom said you didn’t need to.”

She sighed. “If nothing else, I guess he’s got his checkup on Wednesday.”

The mention of Wednesday brought a rush of heat to my face as I recalled yesterday, the way Connor choked out the word. He wanted me there. He wanted me around. Didn’t that mean something?

“What?” Abbie said.

I glanced at her. “What?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Your eye’s twitching.”

Instinctively I touched the corner of my throbbing left eye. “I didn’t know you knew about my eye.”

“I didn’t.” Abbie turned back to the TV. “Connor told me.”

“Snitch.”

“Have you ever noticed on TV or in movies that characters randomly come and go from rooms?” Abbie asked. “They come in for no apparent reason, say something poignant to our troubled main character, and then walk out for no reason. That never happens in real life. I’m annoyed.”

“Want to turn it off?”

“I’m not
that
annoyed. And it’s giving me something to think about besides poor Owen.” She patted his back. “So what’s the verdict? Are you giving Connor another chance?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. You think we could ever get past what happened with Jodi?”

“Sure.” She didn’t give the question the consideration it deserved.

“No, really think about it.”

“I don’t need to. You love him. He loves you. Why’s Jodi an issue at all?”

I frowned at this. I didn’t like it being phrased so simply. “He broke up with me for her, yet you want to know why she’s an issue?”

“He didn’t break up with you—you broke up with him.” “Because he admitted he had feelings for her.”

“You practically pushed him into feeling them, Skylar. He was trying to get closer to you, and you kept pushing him away. You expected him to do what Eli did—cheat on you—and you didn’t give Connor much of a choice. Same as now. Don’t you think if Connor
is
dating Jodi—and I don’t know that he is—it’s at least partially because he doesn’t think you’re an option?”

My frown deepened. “But if he’s really in love with me, why would he even consider dating her?”

“Maybe he thinks you’re telling him to move on. Maybe he thinks you’ve already started the process. That there’s no chance for you two.”

I gaped at her. “Did he tell you that?”

“Not so plainly, but I can tell he’s thought it.” Abbie pinned me with a stare. “If Connor wanted to be with Jodi, he would’ve started dating her sometime in the last four months. That’s gonna have to be enough of an answer for you.”

I turned back to the television and so did she, though neither of us really cared about TBS’s Sunday night movie.

“Heard anything from Lance since we got back?”

Abbie shook her head. “Jenna said he’s got a new girlfriend. Some rich chick who goes to St. Teresa’s. Should keep him preoccupied anyway.”

“I just can’t believe anyone would date him knowing he got a girl pregnant but won’t help with the baby.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure that’s why he’s not having much luck with Shawnee Mission girls.”

I thought of Alexis’s ignorance regarding Aaron. “Guys like him should be forced to wear a sandwich board or something.”

“God knows,” Abbie said. “That’s enough.”

Okay, why did everyone suddenly seem so much more spiritually mature than me? Even my baby sister. Because of course God knew. Of course that was enough. But how come I couldn’t internalize that? Why, when I looked at Jodi, could I not think anything but,
Are you for real?

I should be better about that. I didn’t want to be her friend, but I could at least be civil. Unless she and Connor really had gotten together. That’d make it harder.

I sighed. “You know, if you’d told me last summer that I’d be sitting here pining away for Connor Ross of all people, I’d have thought you were deranged.”

Abbie grinned. “If you’d told me you’d be pining away for
anyone
, I’d have said the same thing.”

“A lot’s changed in a year.”

Abbie caressed Owen’s hair. “And it’s not all bad.”

Sitting there with my sister, who a year ago had rarely said anything to me outside of, “When are you gonna be done in the bathroom?” I totally agreed.

My first opportunity to be civil to Jodi arrived Wednesday night.

I arrived late at the sports complex because I left the house wearing outfit number seven and hairstyle number four. When I finally spotted our church team (Connor had neglected to tell me which field they’d be playing on), I found Jodi seated in the bleachers with Amy Ross and Cameron and Curtis.

What was Jodi doing here? But her behavior made it pretty clear—she and Amy chatted amicably, their gazes turned toward the field. Jodi looked like a poster child for the perfect girlfriend.

I took a few steps back, but Cameron noticed me before I could flee. “Skylar!”

He and Curtis scrambled down the bleachers. They grabbed hold of my hands to drag me to where they’d been sitting, and when I caught Jodi’s eye, victory engulfed me. Quickly followed by shame for feeling victorious.

“Hi, Skylar,” Amy said with her normal warm smile. “Sorry I missed you at the house Saturday.”

“I didn’t stay long.” I glanced at Jodi. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she said, not quite as welcoming as Amy, but much nicer than I’d sounded. “Have a seat.”

I took a seat on the other side of her and said a very civil, “Thanks.”

Amy filled me in. “We’re winning two to one. Connor scored one of the runners, Chris lined out, and Brian hasn’t batted yet.”

“It sucks that you can’t hit them out of the park.” Jodi turned to me. “Brian can crank ’em.”

Please. Like she needed to educate me on the Ross family. But, okay, I hadn’t known that.

“Mom, we’re gonna go play catch,” Cameron called over his shoulder as he and Curtis thundered down the steps. “Stay where I can see you,” Amy called after them.

I scanned the baseball field and found Connor in center. Actually, from that distance, I couldn’t tell if it was Connor or Chris, but no way would I ask.

“So tell me all about Hawaii,” Amy said. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

“It was good. Beach, palm trees. Your basic island stuff.” “Now, I thought you were staying until August. Was that wrong?”

I shifted on my hard seat. “No, I was gonna stay. But I didn’t want to be away for that long. With Owen and all.” “I understand,” Amy said. “They grow up fast.”

“How’s Owen doing?” Jodi asked.

“Great. He had his four-month checkup today. He weighs sixteen pounds and is twenty-five-and-a-half inches long. And he had shots. He’s in a lousy mood. That’s why Abbie didn’t come.”

Amy cringed. “I hated taking the boys in for shots. How’d Abbie do?”

I thought of my sister in the doctor’s office, stroking Owen’s head and murmuring, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“She did great,” I said. “She’s able to be really strong for him.”

Amy smiled, looking as proud as if Abbie were her own daughter. “She’s an awesome kid.”

The unmistakable sound of the ball connecting with the bat’s sweet spot drew us from our conversation. The ball sailed to the outfield.

“Come on, Connor!” Amy said.

So I’d been right. My heart fluttered as he sprinted after the ball. When he dove for it, my breath caught until he raised his glove, indicating a catch. The three of us whooped and hollered, until Jodi and I glanced at each other and dropped our hands to our laps. Talk about awkward. No way could we ever get past the whole mess of last year.

While the teams switched out, Amy asked, “So did you do anything special in Hawaii?”

“Not really.” Justin’s image came unbidden. “Laid on the beach. Attempted surfing. Normal stuff.”

“I ran into your mom yesterday at the grocery store.” She glanced at Cameron and Curtis, still playing catch within view. “She sounded happy to be home.”

I smiled, thinking of how many times I’d heard Mom say that since Friday. Before our trip, I’d never heard her speak of Kansas as home, as where she belonged.

“My grandparents’ house is pretty small. It was close quarters.”

In the dugout, Connor chatted with a teammate. He laughed and shook his head at something the guy said. When he caught me watching, Connor smiled and waved. My heart flipped. I raised my hand to wave back, but then Jodi did the same.

“Oh.” I dropped my hand to my lap.

Her mouth formed an O and her face burned red. “Sorry. I’m sure he was waving at you.”

“No, I doubt it.” My face would’ve been red too if not for my dark skin. “I don’t know why he’d be waving at me, so . . .” I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat. My eyes burned as I battled tears.

“Cameron!” Amy hollered, seeming oblivious to us.

I glanced to where the boys had been playing catch and saw they’d shifted. Only Cameron was visible. When he didn’t respond, Amy excused herself and took off down the bleachers, her flip-flops flapping.

Just me and Jodi. Swell.

“So,” Jodi said. “We obviously have a problem here.”

“Obviously.” Though it seemed to me we had a cluster of problems.

“I was trying to tell you something on Saturday at Heather’s, but it didn’t really come out the way I intended. Actually, it didn’t come out at all.”

My heart raced. Here it was. Here was where she’d inform me they’d started dating. I formulated my response. “Oh really?” I imagined myself saying. “That’s strange, because Connor didn’t say anything about it when he asked me to come tonight.”

Jodi glanced at me. “It’s about Connor, which I guess you pretty much could’ve guessed.”

Down in the dugout, Connor tugged at his collar as he watched us. He knew he should’ve been the one to break the news to me. Served him right to be anxious.

“I guess it’s no secret that I like him.” Jodi sighed. “I really didn’t want to, but . . .” She smiled at me. “Well, you know how that goes.”

AWKWARD.

“I only came tonight because he asked me to.” I knew I sounded like a total snot, but I didn’t care. So much for civility. “I’m not, like, stuck on him or anything.”

“Skylar, it’s fine.”

“I mean, if you guys like each other, you shouldn’t let me get in the way. I certainly didn’t let you.”

Jodi kinda smiled. “Well, that’s true.”

“So if you’re asking for, like, my approval or whatever . . . you have it.”

Shut up, Skylar!
This so wasn’t what I wanted to say. Though it seemed better than admitting how head over heels I still was for the guy.

Jodi glanced at Amy, who thankfully had started back this way. She could put me out of my misery.

“Look, here’s the deal,” Jodi said in a rushed voice. “I like Connor. I like him a lot. A week and a half ago, we went for coffee and I told him that. He said he’s in love with you.” She held eye contact. “I’m getting out of the way, Skylar.”

I had no response time since she’d barely gotten her words out before Amy rejoined us. “I’m so sorry about that,” she said. “I’m like, ‘If you can’t see me, then I probably can’t see you.’”

I wanted to answer, to be polite, but couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but sit there in stunned silence.

Jodi never backed down, especially when it came to guys she felt were rightfully “hers.” She’d become a legend for what she did to Sarah Humphrey at a party a couple years ago—she’d heard rumors about Sarah kissing her boyfriend, and when Sarah passed out, Jodi cut off her long, corn-silk ponytail.

So maybe it was true. Maybe Jodi had changed.

13

Jodi didn’t hang around after her confession. She mumbled a lame excuse about needing to get home, then rushed out of there. If Amy noticed Jodi’s odd behavior, she didn’t say
anything.

“We’ve really missed having you around the house,” Amy said as the ump called time.

“Yeah, me too.”

“We love having Abbie over so much. She keeps us updated on all your goings-on.” Amy’s face brightened. “Oh! We heard you got all A’s your last semester. Congratulations.” Pride swelled in me. “Thanks.”

“You worked really hard.”

I’d worked harder in school my last semester than the other three and a half combined. I lost a little ground when I split with Connor but still managed to eke out a 4.0. Of course, it only adjusted my overall GPA by a couple points.