Social Skills (10 page)

“Sure
thing, bro,” Jared responded immediately. “My voice may not be as good as my
kisses, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Your
kisses?” Connor giggled.

“Yeah,
that was sappy. Deal with it,” Jared growled. Then his voice grew muffled. “I’m
coming, Mom!” Some shuffling noises followed, but when they were done Jared’s
voice was right next to Connor’s ear again, low and soft. “Goodnight, Connor.”

“Goodnight,
Jared,” he whispered back.

Before
he could even set the phone down his door sprang open and a wild-eyed Melissa
stepped in. “Goodnight Jared? Goodnight
Jared
?” She flapped her hands
about dramatically with each word.

A
stabbing pain hit Connor in his ribcage, making his breaths come out ragged. “What
do you need, Melissa?”

“Jared?”
She continued, green irises small in the whites of her blown-wide eyes. “Jared
is not a girl’s name.”

“I
don’t know what you’re talking about.” Connor turned away from her as the pain
grew stronger. He focused on a smudged fingerprint that marred the wall.

“Uh,
yeah you do. I’ve been standing out there for the last few minutes, listening
to you flirt on the phone, and then you just said ‘goodnight Jared’. Wow,
Connor…you like
boys?
”

Connor
dropped the cell phone on his pillow and saw his hand had started to shake.
Fuck,
fuck, fuck,
echoed in his head.

“Wow.
Is that why you’ve always kinda been a freak? What do you think Mom and Dad
will say?”

He
flung himself back around to face her, desperation overriding his panic. “Melissa,
please don’t…please don’t tell them…”

“Oh,
so you want my silence?” She tapped a finger against her lips. “What can I get
for that?”

“W-what
do you want?”

“Hmm…well,
I’m going to the movies tomorrow with Amanda. I could use twenty bucks for some
popcorn and a soda.”

Wordlessly,
mindlessly, Connor grabbed his wallet from his pocket and handed over a bill.

“Wow,
that was easy.” She folded her ill-gotten gain in half and tucked it into her
pocket. “But are you sure you don’t want me to try to find out what Mom and Dad
would say? I mean, I could just bring up the topic…”

“No.
No. Don’t say anything. Please.”

“All
right, fine. Whatever you say.” She whirled around and headed for the door, but
then suddenly froze. Glancing over her shoulder, she pinned Connor with an odd
look. “Thanks for the money, Connor, but you know I wouldn’t really tell them
anything. You may not be the greatest brother, but I still wouldn’t do that to
you.”

She
tossed her hair with a flick of her wrist as she left.

***

Connor
descended the stairs cautiously the next morning. As usual, his mother was
already up, sipping a cup of coffee in her pajamas while she watched a morning
talk show.

“Connor,
will you have time to dust the furniture?”

Nothing
out of the ordinary there.

“Yeah,
I can do that.”

“Good.
Because we’re having guests for dinner, so I have to pick up groceries and cook
today. I’ll probably need help tidying up some other areas, too. And don’t
forget Melissa wants you to play a concerto with her. You know how she loves to
accompany you.”

“She
told me last night.”

He
poured himself a bowl of frosted flakes as Melissa came dashing down the
stairs, fully dressed. She blew past him without a second look, running over to
their mother and pecking her on the cheek.

His
pulse picked up speed.

“Morning,
Mom!” She chirped in an exaggeratedly sweetened voice. “Can I go down the
street to Amanda’s? Her dad’s gonna take us to see an early movie.”

“Melissa,
you remember we’re having guests for dinner, and you said you would play—”

Melissa
threw her arms around her mother’s shoulders. “I remember, Mom. I’m all ready
to perform, and I promise I’ll be back in time.”

“Oh,
all right. Eat some breakfast, though.”

After
another kiss on the cheek, Melissa danced back to the kitchen to grab a banana
from the fruit bowl on the table.

“Oh,
hey, Connor.” She gave him a funny little smile and touched his arm lightly. He
stared back at her for a second, trying to read her intentions, but he couldn’t
see anything in her green eyes other than an eagerness to leave.

He
kept watching as she bounded out the door, wrapped in a puffy winter jacket. He’d
always believed no one in his family really knew him, but maybe the reverse was
true as well. Maybe he
could
trust her to keep his secret…or maybe she
just had other, more exciting thirteen-year-old things on her mind than outing
her brother.

Either
way, it seemed he was safe for now.

Chapter Ten

Connor
closed his eyes, pulling out a trill in the Andante from Tchaikovsky’s violin
concerto and dropping it into a quick succession of thirty-second notes. Though
he was beginning to tire, his fingers continued sliding gracefully over the
strings. He had to take full advantage of these occasions whenever they
came—with everyone out of the house, the only sounds that infiltrated the
silence were the ones
he
created. Through his instrument he could
command the most furious of tirades or the most romantic of appeals, and the
longer he went without anyone interrupting him, the more powerful he felt.

Of
course, there was one interruption he could tolerate. His cell phone buzzed
once and he
glissandoed
to a stop as
he cleared his throat and tried to tamp down on the happy butterflies in his
stomach.

But
it was only a text message from Rebecca.

Hey,
just thought I’d get my NY greetings out now in case I’m too toasted after 12. Happy
NY!

His
eyes flew to the clock. Still twenty minutes to go, which meant at least an
hour of solitude before his family returned from the Haskers’ party. Sure, he’d
have passive-aggressive hell to deal with for skipping out, but it was worth
it, especially given how few days there were left until freedom.

He rested
his instrument for a moment and scrolled through his saved messages. A few were
polite
how is your break going
inquiries from Rebecca, but the rest
were from Jared. He wouldn’t dare delete a single one of those.

Hey,
what’re you up to?

Man,
if I have to hear one more story about me in diapers from my Gma I’m gonna
hurl.

The
next one was far from his favorite, but he held onto it anyway.

Going
skiing with my uncles and brothers. Won’t be able to talk for a few days. Don’t
miss me too much.

An
impossible request. Their nightly calls were about the only thing he looked
forward to each day, especially since he was getting so much better at
them—the words flowing with greater ease, the silences between them
dwindling to only the occasional awkward pause.

The
last text from Jared had come a day ago. Just a simple
hey
, it still
caused his heart to skip a few beats. The way they messaged back and forth, the
way Jared was so open with him—it was almost like Jared was his
boyfriend.

He
resumed his practice with new energy, switching to the Allegro moderato. Quick
strokes of his bow accompanied the playful notes as they bounced off the walls,
the slight echo encouraging him further.

Several
minutes later, his phone buzzed again, and this time, the buzzing continued.

“Hello?”
He nearly dropped his bow in his haste to answer.

Shouting
and laughter greeted him on the other end of the line, but it gradually faded.

“Sorry,
that was loud. I’m upstairs now. Happy New Year, Connor.”

Connor
hugged his violin against his chest. “Oh, is it New Year’s already?”

“It’s
five past twelve. Where have you been?”

He
yawned. “Practicing.”

“Figures.”
Jared chuckled. “Anything I’d like?”

“Um,
I dunno. Just dusting off some pieces I’ve learned for fun.”

“Play
me something.” Jared’s voice was distorted by his own yawn. “Not a lullaby,
though, ’cause I might fall asleep.”

“Are…are
you sure?”

“Connor,”
Jared said simply, but his tone conveyed it all.
Stop doubting; stop
second-guessing. Just go with it.

So
he did. He set his phone on speaker and rested it against his music stand,
thankful again the house was his for the night.

The
Allegro moderato was a plucky enough sort of piece, and he whipped through the
best parts with few mistakes. He wasn’t able to fully concentrate on the music,
though, what with the little rustles from Jared’s breathing coming through the
phone line. He’d give anything to feel those rushes of air along his skin.

“How
was that one?” he asked when he was through. “Not too sleep-inducing?”

“Nah.”
Jared laughed. “You were awesome as always. Although it sucks that it gets sorta
static-y on the phone. It’s so much cooler to watch you in person, like the
first time I heard you play.”

“The
first time,” Connor repeated involuntarily, his body rushing back to the
sensations of that moment
. Hot skin, embracing arms, demanding lips, tongue…

“Yeah,
the first time.” Jared’s voice teased, like he knew just how starry-eyed Connor
had suddenly become. “Hey, was that your first kiss?”

“What?”
Connor blinked the memory—and the associated arousal—from his mind.
“No, of course not!”
Second, thank you very much!

“It’s
okay if it was. I’m mean, you’re a pretty good kisser, so it’s not like I have
a problem with it.”

“Well,
it wasn’t.”

A
couple of rapid clicks emerged from the phone, and Jared huffed. “Shit, Ronnie’s
calling. She’s been trying to reach me all week—I guess I’d better see
what she wants really quick. You wanna hold on, or should I call you back?”

“I’ll…I’ll
wait.”

“Okay,
be right back.”

Feeling
empty as soon as the line went dead, Connor stared intently at the phone.
Somewhere, hundreds of miles away, she was talking to him, monopolizing his
time…but it had been comforting to note Jared sounded frustrated with the
interruption. He was just being a good friend, and friends accepted New Year’s
greetings from other friends. So long as they were brief greetings.

“Back.”
Jared switched over, and the wave of adrenaline that passed through Connor
drowned out his concerns. “Guess what? I have some good news.”

“Oh?”

“Ronnie’s
sick, or in trouble or something—I’m not sure—she was sorta vague
just now. Or drunk or whatever. I mean, it is New Year’s.”

“Um…okay,”
Connor mumbled. Veronica was far from his favorite person, but he didn’t
exactly want to take pleasure in her suffering.

“Fuck,
that wasn’t the good news. What I mean is, she’s gonna stay at home a few extra
days. And, well, I was thinking, if you wanted, we could go back to campus
early. Like, maybe, the day after tomorrow?”

“Together?”

“Yes,
together
.” Connor could almost see
the roll of the eyes that accompanied Jared’s response. “So, do you want
to?”

The
day after tomorrow
. One more
day—one more day and he could feel Jared’s arms surrounding his body. One
more day, and the first and only balm for his insecurities would be near him
again.

He
bit his lip. “Yeah. I do.”

“Good.”
Jared chuckled. “I thought so. Then it’s set. See you in a couple of days,
okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’d
better get back to the party. My whole extended family is down there—it’s
why we came up here for the break. Mom didn’t want to be alone over the
holidays ’cause it’s the first time since…well, you know.”

“Yeah.
I get it. Have fun, then.”

“I
will. Bye, Connor.”

“Bye.”

Connor
picked up his violin and played until his fingers were raw.

***

He
awoke early on the long-awaited morning, taking extra care in grooming and
dressing himself before plastering his face up against a window to watch and
wait.

A
beat-up Chevy station wagon pulled into his driveway. He stared at it for a
while, forgetting his plan to rush outside as soon as humanly possible. He’d
never seen Jared’s car before, and for some reason, he’d always imagined it as
a trendy sports car, or at least a manly SUV.

But
as soon as the wobbly door flew open and Jared’s long legs stepped out, the
shock was broken. Connor grabbed his bags, screamed “bye, everyone,” over his shoulder,
and bolted out of the house.

Jared
was standing a few feet from the car by then, and Connor practically had to
pull himself backward to keep them from colliding. He stopped only inches away,
smiling stupidly. “Hey.”

“Hey,”
Jared said, his own smile shining in the light of the clear winter day. “Ready
to go?”

A
piercing voice suddenly erupted from the house, plainly audible through the
open front door. “I don’t even know, sometimes. I don’t even know what I did
wrong that he’s so impolite like that. I guess he’s moved on, and he can just
come here and use me to cook him meals and do his laundry and then leave
without looking me in the face to say goodbye.”

Connor
raised a hand to his forehead. “Fuck,” he muttered.

“What’s
her problem?” Jared shifted his weight, his brow crinkling.

“Um,
she’s big on etiquette, I guess. I kinda just ran out of there…”

The
sound of the swinging door alerted them to company, and Connor turned around to
see his father standing on their front porch.

“Uh,
your mother is upset that you didn’t say goodbye properly,” he mumbled, darting
his eyes between Jared and Connor. “You, uh, need to go apologize.”

“Yeah,
okay, Dad.” Connor sighed. “I’ll just be a minute, Jared. I’m really sorry.”

“Nah,
don’t be sorry.” Jared grinned. “C’mon.” He surprised Connor by dropping a hand
onto his shoulder and steering him toward the door. “Let’s go say goodbye.”

They
entered the foyer together and Connor called out right away, hoping to settle
things quickly. “Mom? I’m sorry I left in a hurry, it’s just that I wanted to
get back to school so I could buy my books for next semester.”

“Yes,
I’m sure you have an excuse, Connor,” she spat back, her voice cutting. “You
always have an excuse, and you don’t even care how you—”

She
stopped abruptly as she rounded the corner and saw Connor was not alone.

“Oh,
I didn’t realize…” The tone of her voice turned on a dime from angry to
sickeningly sweet. “Well, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Um…”

“I’m
sorry.” His mother directed her attention to Jared. “Politeness has never been
Connor’s forte. I’m Mrs. Owens.” She extended her hand for him to shake.

“Jared,”
Jared replied, taking it and shooting a bewildered glance in Connor’s direction.
“Sorry I rushed Connor, ma’am. I guess there really isn’t a need to be in that
much of a hurry.”

“Oh,
don’t be silly,” she replied smoothly. “It’s just that I was making an omelet
for Connor to have before he left, and I didn’t want it to go to waste. I’ve
made so much, you see. Would you like to join us for breakfast?”

Unable
to warn him off in front of his mother, Connor resigned himself as Jared nodded.
“Sure, that’d be great, Mrs. Owens.”

They
sat at the island in the kitchen while his mother dished out the omelet and
then, to Connor’s chagrin, took up a chair opposite them. “So, Jared,” she
began, “how did you and Connor become acquainted?”

“Oh.”
Jared swallowed a mouthful of eggs. “He tutored me in anthropology last
semester.”

“Ah,
you’re an athlete. How wonderful. Football?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe
you could teach Connor here how to play. I’ve always wanted him to take up a
sport, but he just out and out refused. He should have an activity to help him
maintain his physical health, don’t you think?”

Jared’s
lips twitched. “Uh…”

Softly
padding footsteps on the carpeted stairs caught Connor’s attention. Grateful to
have it diverted from the humiliating conversation at hand, he watched Melissa
tread into the kitchen in her two-piece teddy bear pajamas.

“How
come everyone’s so wide awake?” She ran a hand over her hair, which was tangled
in a bird’s nest of a bun and sticking out from the side of her head.

“Oh,
Melissa, dear. Come over and say hello to Connor’s friend Jared.”

Melissa’s
eyes widened and darted over to Jared. Then, though it hardly seemed possible,
they got even wider, and Connor thought he saw just a tiny inkling of
envy
flit
across them before she was back to shock.

“Mom!”
she shouted, backing up the stairs. “I’m not dressed!”

Mrs.
Owens shook her head. “She’s getting to that age, I suppose. You know girls. I’m
sure she’ll be dressed in a few minutes, if you have the time to stay. She
plays the piano and—”

“Mom,
we really have to go,” Connor interrupted. He got a disappointed huff as a
response.

“Well,
all right then. It was nice meeting you, Jared. Remember to call, Connor. Don’t
let us worry too much.” She enveloped him in a stifling hug.

“Okay.”
Connor counted to ten before pulling away. “Bye, Mom.”

Once
outside, he dove straight into the station wagon and took a deep, steadying
breath, ignoring the old-car mustiness that greeted his nostrils.