Social Skills (5 page)

“Why
?
” Connor blurted out his confusion
before he had a chance to check himself. Still, it seemed a legitimate
question—until Jared burst into laughter.

“You
gotta stop that. You sound like one of those little kids who keeps on asking
how the world works. And you’re short enough to pass for one from the back.”

Connor
frowned. He wasn’t
that
short.

In a
blur of rapid movement, Jared dropped a kiss on his lips. “Sorry.” He
backed up quickly. “I don’t think you know how cute you look when you frown
like that.”

“Wh-what?
I…do?”

Jared
chuckled, reaching out to push back a strand of Connor’s hair. His knuckles
brushed Connor’s cheek and then stayed there.

In a
deafening silence, Connor’s pulse sped up, his mind more captive to Jared’s
touch than it had been the first time they’d kissed. He couldn’t look away,
even if his fear wanted him to. He couldn’t blink. He couldn’t draw in his next
breath. Because 
this
…this was
all searching eyes and gentle caresses, and somehow, unbelievably, a
connection
.

A shudder
broke the moment and he pulled back, as hard as he’d ever been—and
deathly afraid to let it show.

“You
okay?” Jared asked.

“Yeah.
I’m…I’m good. It’s just that…I’ve never…I mean…”

“You’ve
never been with a guy?”

Connor
nodded, grateful for Jared’s strange ability to make sense of the drivel that
came out of his mouth. Now, if only Jared could apply that skill to his reading
assignments, he’d have no trouble understanding even the most convoluted text…

“Don’t
worry. I haven’t either.” Jared’s voice dragged him back from the tangent. “I
promise we’ll take things slow, okay?” He shifted a few inches away, leaving a
hand on Connor’s arm so he could stroke it softly. “We could watch a movie or
something if you have any on your laptop…or we could just talk.”

Rock
and a hard place. Watching a movie was safer, but…it involved having to move.
If Connor got up from where he was pressing his lower half firmly into the
mattress, there was no way he could hide his erection. “Um, t-talking’s fine.”

“Really?”
One of Jared’s eyebrows tilted up to mock him. “I thought you hated talking. It
always takes me so long to get you to loosen up during our tutoring sessions.”

“Well…we’re
supposed to be working then.”

“Nah,
you’re just shy.”

Connor
frowned.

Jared
bit his lip, his eyes dancing. “If you ever want me to kiss you, just make that
face and I’d be hard pressed to resist.”

When
wouldn’t he want Jared to kiss him? But that pathetic thought could never see
the light of day, so Connor said nothing.

Jared
grinned at him for few seconds before his lips straightened into a more serious
line. “I guess we need to talk about this.” He squeezed Connor’s shoulder.
“Just so you know, no one knows about me. Well, no one but you, I guess. That’s
okay, right?”

“Uh
huh.” Connor nodded readily. “M-me too. I mean, uh, no one, um…”

“No
one knows about you either, you mean.”

Connor
blushed, but as Jared scooted closer he found his tongue unexpectedly loosening.
“I have enough trouble talking to people as it is, so I didn’t really want to
have another reason to feel awkward.”

Oh, brilliant.
A
blatant admission to his lack of social skills. Maybe his tongue was best left
tied.

His
face sought a deeper spot in his pillow and he muttered on through the fabric. “I-I’ve…I’ve
thought about it, though. Since I got here, I mean. I’ve seen flyers for
meetings and stuff.”

Thought
about it
was as far as he’d gotten. There
was a certain allure to the idea of finally belonging to such a “group”, but it
was just plain unrealistic to expect that to magically strip his social
anxieties away.

Jared
stopped rubbing his arm. “Oh. Really?” He rolled over to stare at the
ceiling again, his voice dropping into a mumble. “Because I’m not really ready
to…you know, with football and all.”

Connor
frowned again, but Jared wasn’t looking at him, so there probably wasn’t any danger
of a kiss. “I was only thinking about it. I’m not…I’m not ready to do it.”

“Yeah,
I get that.” Jared turned back to him, a half-smile nowhere near as
inspiring as his full one tugging at his lips. “I guess I’d better get going. You
probably have work to do.”

Having
finally regained control of wayward body parts, Connor stood with Jared and
they made their way to the door. But before he could open it, Jared reached
down to peck him chastely on the lips, murmuring, “See ya tomorrow, bro.”

***

Connor’s
fingers whipped through the fastest, most difficult runs he could think of in
every piece of music he had ever learned. He just didn’t have the discipline to
slow himself down and give due respect to anything softer or more delicate. Excitement
radiated from within, and pouring it into the music felt like the only way to
keep from literally bursting.

Jared.
Jared liked him. Had kissed him. Maybe even wanted to
be
with him.

It
seemed like the life he’d always been waiting for was about to begin.

A
tap on the glass door of the practice room registered at the edge of his
consciousness, but he waited until he’d completed the last measures of a run before
turning to see who was there.

“What’s
up?” Rebecca entered as he rested his violin on his lap. “What are you
practicing? Whatever it is looked like fun.”

Connor
hadn’t been able to wipe the smile away since he’d woken up that morning, and
faced with Rebecca, he had no more success.

“Oh,
just some old stuff. You want to rehearse for sectionals?”

“Sure.” Rebecca
cocked her head and regarded him with a grin. “You’re looking chipper this
morning. Get another A on one of your essays?”

“No.” Connor
tried for a frown but failed miserably. “Let’s just practice, okay?”

“Okay,
okay.” Rebecca put her hands up in defeat. “Keep your happy secrets, by all
means.”

They
practiced together for the next thirty minutes, but unlike their previous
sessions, any time Rebecca paused to make a comment about college or Vidar or
the music, Connor allowed himself to get dragged into the conversation. Or
rather, he
participated
in the conversation. All his nervous energy had
the strange effect of making him
want
to talk to her, to share
anecdotes of high school orchestra mishaps, or laugh freely at her latest
theory as to how a high-brow Scandinavian had ended up stuck in a rural
southern town surrounded by cows and corn.

They
kept talking all the way to Newcomb Hall, and Connor was so caught up in Rebecca’s
pinched-face impersonation of Vidar berating the eighth stand for their
out-of-sync bowing, he completely forgot there was a chance he’d run into Jared
in the cafeteria. He froze just after they stepped inside and darted his head
around wildly.

When
he did spot Jared, his heart sank. Jared was sitting by his suite mates,
laughing and talking with animated hands. Veronica was at his side, her arm
casually lying on his thigh. She was considerably less made-up than the last
time Connor had seen her, her hair sloppily shoved in a ponytail and her eyes
clouded with a disinterested look.

That
was, until she turned to Jared and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Connor
paled.

“Hey,
space cadet.” Rebecca nudged him. “You gonna get that burger or what?” She
pointed to the plate the service lady was impatiently shaking in front of him.

“Oh,
yeah, thanks.” He grabbed it and shuffled away, forcing his eyes straight
ahead.

Chrissy,
Tate, and A.J. sat in their normal spots, but he decided to switch to the other
side of the table so he’d have his back to Jared. That didn’t help as much as
he had hoped, though, because he still found himself turning around every so
often to steal worried glances.

“You
in trouble with the law or something?” Chrissy asked suddenly, lowering her
veggie burger from her lips.

“Huh?”
The ungraceful syllable left his mouth before he could process her question.

“She
means the constant twirling around you’re doing, checking behind you. You look
like you’re being followed,” Rebecca explained.

“Um…just
keeping limber.” Connor forced himself to shrug, searching for an excuse to
cover yet another example of his awkwardness. “My back gets stiff, sitting in
little desks all day.”

Chrissy
nodded. “I agree. It’s stupid to keep us cooped up in those little cages. We
should be learning outside, in the fresh air, where we’d actually have a chance
to make connections between what we learn and how it affects the world.”

Tate
snorted, but A.J. gave her a rueful smile. “I’ll support that petition, if you
want to get it started.”

“That
is an excellent idea,” Chrissy said brightly.

Rebecca
was the only one who didn’t seem caught up in Chrissy’s joke—if that was
what it was. She stared at Connor for a few more seconds, one pale eyebrow
raised questioningly.

***

Amazingly,
a single word from Jared managed to erase any anxiety or guilt about being in a
love-triangle and turn all of Connor’s thoughts into complete mush.

That
one word was “hi,” and Jared said it kind of quietly as he slipped into the
desk next to him before their anthropology class.

“Hey,”
Connor replied, then bit his lip to keep from smiling so idiotically.

Jared
smirked and turned away, busying himself with dragging a notebook out of his
bag. “So, I’m sorta tied up for the rest of the week. Coach has us doing extra stuff
to make up for getting lazy over Thanksgiving…but I was wondering, if you don’t
already have plans, maybe I could come by on Friday?”

“Um…sure,”
Connor whispered back, trying not to scoff out loud at the thought of already
having plans for a Friday night. But maybe all that was about to change. Maybe
from now on Fridays would be about Jared’s incredible smile and soft, strong
lips.

A
blush crept up his cheeks, and he quickly turned his thoughts to the safer
territory of French structuralism before his body could get any more ahead of
itself.

Friday.
He’d have to wait till Friday.

Chapter Five

Connor
opted for a bag of chips and a soda for dinner, too nervous to do anything
other than peruse the Internet for mind-numbing entertainment. He half-expected
Jared not to show; after missing both a tutoring session and class that
day, it seemed possible Jared had changed his mind about whatever-it-was
they were doing.

He’d
just started compiling a list of all the reasons for Jared’s rejection when the
knock at his door came in a familiar rhythm.
Rap-rap-a-tap-tap, rap rap.

It
was cheesy and so unlike anything he could imagine Jared doing. But then again,
he’d never imagined being kissed by him, either. Looked like he was going to
have to adjust some of his stereotypes about jocks.

“Hey,
you,” Jared said as he entered. He walked past Connor and settled on his bed. “Sorry
it’s kinda late. Did you already eat dinner?”

“Um,
yeah.” Connor hovered awkwardly until Jared grabbed his hand and tugged him
down.

“Yeah?
I never see you at the Observatory dining hall for dinner. Do you go all the
way to Newcomb?”

“Oh…I…I
don’t usually eat dinner at the dining hall. Sometimes I just grab a snack or
whatever to save time.”

“Save
it for what?” Jared prodded, a smirk playing on his lips.

Connor
shrugged and looked away. Why couldn’t Jared just drop it?

“Okay,
so you gotta tell me, what’s with the shyness? Were you like, the fat kid in
elementary school or something?”

Resentment
spurred Connor into a retort. “What? I wasn’t fat. Maybe I wasn’t as athletic
as the other kids, but that doesn’t mean I—”

“Whoa,
whoa, I was totally kidding, dude. But it looks like I struck a nerve.”

Now
embarrassment did rear its ugly and familiar head, but as soon as the blush hit
Connor’s cheeks, Jared threw an arm around him and pulled him close against his
side. “Hey, hey, I’m just kidding. You gotta take me with a grain of salt, you
know.”

“Y-yeah…whatever,”
Connor mumbled.

Jared
chuckled and squeezed him a little tighter into the side-hug. “All right, as
much as I’d like to have you all to myself right now, it’s Friday night, and we
should really go out.”

“Out?”

“Yeah.
Some friends of mine are throwing a house party. It should be pretty low-key—right
up my alley. You in?”

Connor
hesitated, sucking in a deep breath as he gathered his wits. “I…I don’t really
party much.”

“I
figured. Which is exactly why we should go. You trust me, right?

Not
exactly sure if he did, Connor nodded.

Jared
hopped off the bed and took his hand. “Well, let’s go then.”

The
handholding stopped as soon as they stepped out into the hallway, but Jared’s
smile did not. Connor used that to sustain him as they left the familiar behind
and trailed down dark, off-campus streets. Jared chatted amiably along the way,
doing much more than his share of keeping up the conversation.

“So
what sorts of things do you do for fun?” he asked.

“I…I
like practicing…violin, I mean.”

Jared
halfway rolled his eyes, but the accompanying grin made it easier to bear. “Well
I coulda guessed that. And it’s definitely cool, you know. But what else?”

“Um,
reading?”

“I
said for
fun
.”

Connor
knit his brows, wondering if he should just make something up that sounded more
interesting. Nothing believable came to mind, though, and the silence between
them dragged on to the point where it seemed too late to respond.

“Okay…well,
what kinds of stuff do you like to read then? And don’t just say the stuff for
class.”

Again,
Connor had the urge to lie, but who was he kidding? He was worse at lying than
he was at speaking in general.

Staring
at his feet, he mumbled the truth. “Uh, sometimes, sci-fi.”

“That’s
cool. My dad used to…well, he kinda got me into comic books when I was a kid. Some
of that is a little sci-fi.”

Connor
looked up to give a grateful smile, but his attention was soon captured by
something else.

“Low
key?” he blurted out, the first thing he’d said that wasn’t a direct response
to one of Jared’s questions.

They’d
stopped in front of an old house with peeling paint and warped siding that was
bursting at the seams with people. The front porch and lawn were already
littered with red plastic cups as the partiers milled about, laughing and shouting
over the pounding bass from the music playing inside.

“Okay,
so it’s a bit crowded, but it’s still more chill than a frat party. Don’t worry,
I’ll watch out for you—make sure you don’t get lost.”

And Connor
hoped he would do exactly that, even though Jared’s tone told him he was being
teased. He followed Jared in and was greeted by a slap on the back so forceful
it pushed him into a wall.

“Little
anthro dude!” Michael slurred after the violent welcome. “Good to see ya. Sorry
for bailing on you, but you know, that really ain’t my shit. Gonna go pro, so I
won’t have to worry about any of this shit anymore.”

“You
keep telling yourself that.” Jared chuckled, and Michael turned on him with a
drunken glare.

“You
only wish you was this good.” Michael thumped his chest menacingly and then
dissolved into the crowd. He returned a few seconds later with two of those red
plastic cups. “Drink up, guys. Especially you, little anthro dude. You
definitely need to loosen up.”

“Don’t
mind him.” Jared leaned in close to murmur in Connor’s ear. “It’s surprising
how fast a big guy like him can get drunk.”

Connor
shifted away instinctively—not that he didn’t want to be close to Jared,
but how could Jared want to be seen so close to
him
while they were
surrounded by football players, other athletes, and their gorgeous friends?

A moment
later, when Jared tried to say something else, he rolled his eyes at his own
stupidity. Of course. The music was so loud, no one could be heard without
shouting if they were more than an inch away.

Jared
led him further into the house, encouraging him to drink his first and then
second warm cup of beer while introducing him to various people who would surely
forget he existed in the next five minutes. He didn’t really talk to anyone,
but decided he looked engaged enough as he nodded and sipped at his beer.

He
was just the token charity case, anyway, and he could see that in the eyes of the
people he met—
Oh isn’t that nice, Jared let his little tutor tag
along
. No one seemed particularly surprised, probably because Jared came
across as the kind of friendly guy who would be prone to such a thing. And for
once it didn’t really bother Connor what people thought. As long as Jared was
next to him, he felt safe—an unfamiliar sensation in public, though definitely
a pleasant one.

Jared
was like a security blanket. A tall, muscular, dark-haired, strikingly handsome
security blanket…that was about to be ripped from his side.

He spotted
Veronica standing by the makeshift bar with a lost expression, wearing a faded
t-shirt that hung off her shoulder and a pair of sweatpants. Eventually she
began wading through the crowd, yelling at various people who pointed her in
the direction of where he and Jared were standing.

“Shit,”
Jared mumbled, not really loud enough to be heard, but Connor could read his
lips as well as his expression. “I’ll be right back, okay?” He took off to
latch onto Veronica’s arm and steer her toward the front door.

A
few minutes of separation felt like an eternity as Connor stared out into the
sea of unfamiliar faces. He found a darkened corner and took up residence
there, more secure within the partial embrace of the walls.

“Hey.”
A tiny blond girl startled him by wrapping an arm around his waist. “I don’t
think I know you.” Her breaths came out with little puffs of beer-smell mixed
in with the scent of cherries, probably from the red shimmer that covered her
lips.

“Um,
I’m Connor.”

The
girl giggled sloppily, nearly dropping to the floor before she used her grip on
Connor to stabilize herself. “Yeah, I didn’t know you.”

“Well…now
you do?” He craned his neck over her high ponytail to catch a view of the front
door.

“I
need a beer pong partner. You wanna play?” She pushed in closer, apparently
glossing over the need to introduce herself.

“Uh,
I don’t really know how…”

“Hey,
Con,” Jared’s voice cut through. A momentary thrill enveloped Connor at hearing
the newly assigned nickname, but his elation was quickly dampened by the frown
on Jared’s face. “Ronnie needs someone to take her home. She’s acting kinda
weird. Think maybe she’s high or something.”

“Oh,
pooh,” the little blonde said. “He was gonna be my beer pong partner.”

Jared
smirked. “Don’t worry, he can still do that.”

Connor
started to shake his head, but Jared clamped a firm hand on his shoulder. “Hey,
I promise I’ll be back in like thirty minutes. I don’t want to stop you from
having a good time, okay?”

He
shook his head even more frantically at that, eyes shooting wide, but Jared
just smiled and disappeared into the crowd.

Little
Blonde still had her arms around his waist, and she tugged on his shirt. “Well,
come on then, let’s go play!”

Just
as he’d suspected, Connor was terrible at beer pong. Onlookers laughed
themselves under the table at his miserable aim, as the tiny Ping-Pong ball
repeatedly shot wide of its mark. His opponents, a boyfriend and girlfriend
duo, had considerably better acuity. Little Blonde chugged the first beer in
which the other team successfully landed their ball, and Connor reluctantly
gulped down the rest. After the first few minutes of craving an escape while
mentally cursing Jared, he grew more resigned to his situation.

When
they finally lost, Little Blonde dragged him over to the kitchen and poured him
a shot of vodka in his now-emptied last cup of beer.

“Here’s
to losing with style.” She attempted a clink of her cup but missed, tipping
precariously until Connor reached out to support her. “You were so bad, it was
hysterical.”

“Well…I
aim to entertain,” Connor said with a sudden burst of levity, surprised by the
way his lips had trouble catching up with his words. He swallowed the shot and
grimaced uncontrollably as it burned down his throat.

Little
Blonde giggled and stretched to drape her arms around his neck. “You’re
adorable,” she cooed.

“Having
fun?” a voice interrupted.

The
music wasn’t as loud in the kitchen, and Jared’s deep tone carried better
there.

Connor
shifted toward him, some of his earlier annoyance returning in a rush. “You
left
,”
he said, pointing an accusatory finger.

Jared
cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. “Yup, but it seems like you had a good
time despite yourself.”

“Oh,
yeah,” the blonde piped in. “He sucks at beer pong.”

“I
bet.” Jared laughed, reaching out to untangle her hands from Connor’s neck. He
propped her up against the kitchen counter, ignoring the pouting sound she made
at being so summarily dismissed. “C’mon, let’s go get you some fresh air.”

“What
about her?” Connor asked as Jared maneuvered him away.

“What,
she’s your new best friend now or something?”

“She
said I was adorable,” he muttered defensively.

Jared
leaned in close, as they’d reached the din of the main room, and chuckled into
Connor’s ear. “She’s not too far off at that.”

The
fresh air did feel good as it hit Connor’s face, drying the drops of sweat that
had gathered on his brow from the drinking and the proximity to masses of other
people. He stood with his eyes closed for a moment, letting the wind rock him
back and forth.

At
least, he thought it was the wind, until he opened his eyes and saw the world
seemed to be rocking as well.

“Mmm,”
he mumbled, a tiny inkling of distress worming its way into what had otherwise
turned out to be one of his most successful social experiences. “Feel a little
dizzy.”

“How
much did you drink?” Jared asked, bending down to peer at his face.

“Not
sure…five more little cups of beer maybe?”

“And
how much do you usually drink before you get drunk?”

“Drink?
Drunk?” Connor repeated, then giggled, something that ordinarily mortified him.
Now it just had him giggling further.

“Okay.”
Jared laughed, too. “I think we’d better call it a night.”

They
started off for the dorms, and Connor was soon faced with a dilemma. Putting
one foot in front of the other wasn’t so simple a task with the dizziness
factored in. He really needed to watch his legs to ensure their placement…but
he didn’t have the self-control to maintain that focus. Not when he could be
admiring Jared instead.