Read Soldiers of Fortune Online
Authors: Jana DeLeon
Tags: #Mystery: Cozy - Romance - Humor - Louisiana
“I wonder what they think now?”
“That mob downtown this morning is a good indication. At least half were good Catholics. I think Celia got too big for her britches.”
I set the funnel cakes on the picnic table and took a seat next to Gertie as Ida Belle plopped down on the other side and reached for her snow cone. Gertie filled Ida Belle in on Celia and the vendor deal as we ate.
Ida Belle shook her head. “She’s out of her mind if she thinks this will fix anything.”
Gertie nodded. “That’s what I said. The banana pudding thing is bad enough, but Nelson is going to be the far bigger problem.”
“Speak of the devil,” I said and pointed to Nelson, who had parked in front of the funnel cake trailer and was climbing out of a new Mercedes.
“Where did he get the money for a car like that?” Gertie asked.
“Probably one of those high-interest leases,” Ida Belle said. “He’ll have it for a couple months until they repossess it for nonpayment.”
“You’re probably right,” Gertie said. “The man can barely tie his shoelaces. No way is he making that kind of bank at a job. Janitorial work is about all he’s qualified for, and it doesn’t score people a Mercedes.”
We watched as he walked over to the funnel cake trailer, cutting in front of the kids. Several of them shot the finger at him, but he ignored them all and scooped up the funnel cake that Kayla had just placed on the counter for the next customer. She frowned as he smiled at her and made off with the cake.
“What a douche,” I said.
“And a coward,” Gertie said. “Notice he stepped in front of the geeky kid. If one of those football jocks would have been standing there, he wouldn’t have been so gutsy.”
“I would have paid money to see that,” I said.
“So would a lot of other people,” Gertie said.
“Don’t look now,” Ida Belle said, “but he’s headed this way.”
I glanced over without turning my head and saw Nelson making a beeline for our picnic table.
Gertie sighed. “Why does it have to be when we’re eating? The man turns my stomach.”
I nodded and stuffed a huge piece of funnel cake in my mouth, trying to get it all in before he reached us. I made it three-quarters of the way through before he stepped up to the table, lips and chin dripping with powdered sugar and wearing a fake smile.
“And just what are you fine citizens of Sinful doing here?” he asked.
“Chaperoning,” Ida Belle said.
He glanced around. “Looks like you’re eating to me. You can’t keep things in line sitting here by yourselves.”
“Really?” Gertie asked. “That’s exactly what you do at the sheriff’s department, and you get
paid
to leave the building and work.”
Nelson’s smile vanished and he sneered. “Don’t think Celia hasn’t filled me in on all the meddling you two have done in this town.” He looked at me. “And you…a Yankee trying to take over, causing trouble when it was such a nice place before.”
“Oh,” I said, “you mean trouble like saving Celia’s life before she died of poisoning and finding out who killed her daughter? That kind of trouble?”
“For all I know,” Nelson said, “you could have been in cahoots with that woman who poisoned Celia.”
“You are so stupid,” Gertie said. “Fortune almost died from poisoning herself.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe that’s just what she claimed.”
“Yeah, that’s it,” Ida Belle said. “She poisoned herself to look like a hero. What do you want?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You don’t like us,” Ida Belle said, “and we can’t stand you. Because we’re human and you’re not, we have nothing in common so therefore nothing to talk about. So tell you what you want and then go away.”
His expression hardened. “What I want is for you three to slip silently into the wind. Stop causing trouble. Stop poking your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
“And if we don’t?” Gertie asked.
“Then I can make it really difficult for you, especially wearing a badge.” He looked at me. “And I can make things really difficult for your boyfriend.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” I said.
His expression wavered for a moment, then he recovered. “We’ll just see, won’t we?” He spun around and strode back across the park.
“What was that about?” I asked.
Gertie smirked. “He thinks he’s putting us on notice. Like that fool could scare us.”
“If he even knew the half of it,” I said, “he’d be running for Canada.”
Ida Belle nodded. “But that’s the good part—he’s totally underestimated his opponents.”
“He’s definitely got our abilities all wrong,” Gertie said, “but he knows enough to watch us, and that alone could be a problem.”
“He’s watching us because Celia whined about us to him and probably made it his job to keep us out of her hair,” Ida Belle said. “That man has never had an original thought in his life. I doubt he’s starting now.”
“He wouldn’t have to be original to get in our way,” Gertie said.
“Hopefully, he’ll be too busy avoiding work to notice,” I said.
“Hopefully,” Ida Belle said, but she didn’t sound convinced.
I looked at the street as Nelson climbed into his car and pulled away. A teen with a black hoodie on watched as he pulled away from the curb, then headed into the park and walked behind the bonfire where no other teens were congregated. The fact that he stood alone wasn’t necessarily suspicious—hell, I wasn’t a big fan of people either—but no one had forced him to come. The hoodie, however, in the heat and humidity was a bit of a stretch.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I said and hopped up from the picnic table.
“Is something wrong?” Ida Belle asked.
“I’m not sure. Wait here. If you see anything strange, then move in.”
“Like we’d know strange from every day,” Gertie grumbled as I took off for the back side of the bonfire.
I paused about two-thirds of the way there near a crowd of kids sharing a funnel cake. The boy hadn’t shifted in position and no one had moved to join him. He stood stock still, hands in pockets and staring at the bonfire. No other teens or structures were nearby, so I had no choice but to approach him in the open. If he had a weapon in his pocket that he intended to use, no way could I reach him before he got off a shot off.
Ida Belle had missed my pocketknife during her wardrobe search, but unless I took an offensive approach, it was of little use against a bullet. And it probably wasn’t a good idea to make a running leap at a teenager in a public park, especially holding a knife. Of course, it was Sinful, so maybe it wasn’t as big a deal as I thought.
I finally decided what the hell and set off directly for him. When I was about five feet from him, he lifted his head and looked directly at me. Something about his eyes was very familiar.
“You’re Fortune,” he said, but it was more of a statement than a question.
“Do I know you?” I asked.
He smiled. “Nah, but the description I got was a good one, although I think you’ve even hotter than he said.”
“Than who said?”
“My uncle.”
And then it clicked where I’d seen those same piercing brown eyes. “You’re an Hebert.”
He nodded. “People call me Vapor.”
“That’s a strange name.”
“Nickname. Because I have a talent for disappearing.”
“Depending on what your line of work is, that’s a good ability to have.”
He laughed. “My line of work is being an Hebert.”
“How old are you?”
“Old enough. You interested?”
I stared at him, unable to prevent my look of dismay. “Right now, I’m as involved with the Hebert family as I’m ever going to be.”
“Uncle Little said you were smart. Anyway, I got some papers for you.” He pulled some papers folded into a square out of his hoodie pocket. “Little says to tell you he didn’t know this guy or his people, so he ain’t got no chains to rattle, if you know what I’m saying.”
I took the papers and stuffed them into my back pocket. “Tell him not to worry. I’ll find him a chain.”
Vapor smiled. “I just bet you will. You ever change your mind about your proximity to the Hebert family, you give me a call.” He glanced past me, then gave me a wink and turned to walk away.
“You already exchanging me for a younger model?” Carter’s voice sounded to my right.
I turned around and saw him walking toward me and understood Vapor’s hasty retreat. I hoped he’d retreated before Carter had seen me stuffing the papers in my pocket. I glanced back to make sure Vapor was far enough way that Carter couldn’t get a good look at him and frowned.
The boy was nowhere to be seen.
No way. I hadn’t looked away but a second. How could he vanish in an open area?
But as I scanned the park grounds and the clusters of teens, I didn’t see him anywhere. Impressive. If he hadn’t opted for the criminal route, he could have had a hell of a career at the CIA. They didn’t call us spooks for nothing.
Carter stepped up beside me. “I saw Ida Belle and Gertie over at the picnic table. How come you’re separated from your herd?”
“We’re taking turns making the rounds. You know, making sure no one is falling down drunk or using the Lord’s name in vain…whatever happens to be illegal on a Friday night in July.”
He grinned. “It’s a long list. Probably a dozen violations going on right under our noses.”
“Well, it’s a good thing Nelson left before he noticed any of them.”
The grin vanished. “Nelson was here?”
“Yeah, but I have no idea what for. He pulled up, swiped a funnel cake without paying, then made a beeline for Ida Belle, Gertie, and me and threatened us.”
“Threatened you? How?”
“He said we’d be in trouble if we didn’t keep our nose out of anything going on in Sinful, and since that didn’t appear to move us, his next threat was directed at you. He said he could make things difficult for you.”
Carter scowled. “That worthless son of a bitch.”
“I told him not to bet on it.”
The grin returned. “That’s what I love about you.”
“
And
what you hate.”
“Maybe I just don’t like your friends.”
“Water seeks its own level.”
“Ha. You may think you know them, but I guarantee you, no one is on the same level as Ida Belle and Gertie. It would take a combination of a criminal and magician to even come close.”
I laughed. “They’d take that as a compliment.”
“I know. That’s why neither of us is going to repeat it.”
There was a pause in the conversation and Carter glanced around the park, looking as though he wasn’t quite certain what he was supposed to do. “What are you doing here anyway?” I asked. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing he’d voluntarily show up for.
He gave me a fake surprised look. “What? You’re not happy to see me?”
My radar went off. He wasn’t here out of any personal interest at all. He was here because he didn’t trust Ida Belle, Gertie, and me. “If I thought your motive didn’t include checking up on me,” I said, “I’d be happier. What I can’t figure out is exactly what you think we could be up to among a bunch of high school students. Do you think they’re hiding a meth lab under the merry-go-round?”
A flash of guilt passed over his face, but he quickly recovered. “No. But I don’t think Ida Belle and Gertie volunteered you for this job out of the goodness of their hearts, either.”
“Well, if they have an ulterior motive, I’m not in on it. I’m just here to level the playing field. Two old ladies against a bunch of teens didn’t seem balanced.”
“A lot of people might argue with you given that the two old ladies in question are Ida Belle and Gertie.”
“Maybe, but I don’t see how this gets them anything but sore feet and a monumental dose of boredom.” Time to turn the tables. “In fact, the only people in this town I’ve seen today who were doing things they weren’t supposed to are you and Walter.”
“The doctor didn’t say anything about fishing.”
“And if you were really fishing, no one would have a problem.” I stared at him for several seconds. “You went to look at the explosion site, didn’t you?”
“So what if I did?”
“Look, I got no problem with you going against Nelson or whoever and doing what you think is right, because I trust your judgment. But the reality is that you were lying in a hospital bed a couple days ago, damned near dead. And I don’t care what kind of shape you’re in. Your body still needs a reasonable amount of time to recover from trauma, and your brain is worse than any other part. It’s running the whole show. You’re literally messing around with your microprocessor.”
He looked a tiny bit guilty, but still wasn’t willing to give up the ghost. “You sound as if you care.”
“I do care,” I said, my voice stronger than I intended for it to be.