‘Besides?’ He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
‘Well, we’d have to do it here. I mean, I can’t do it at home in front of my mum.’
‘You could always close your bedroom door.’ He grinned mischievously.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Yeah. So you want to come here?’
‘Yes, so I’d have a vested interest in you not getting your electricity cut off and stuff,’ she mumbled, her eyes roving around the living room.
‘Right. Gotcha.’
‘Only if that was okay with you, of course,’ she added, suddenly realising he might not want her there.
‘Not having my electricity cut off? That’d be fine with me.’
‘No. I mean, me coming here. We could go to a hotel if you’d prefer.’
‘No need for that. It’s fine for you to come here.’
‘So … you’ll do it?’ Claire asked hopefully.
He sighed. ‘Yes, okay,’ he said, sounding reluctant. ‘Since you won’t accept a freebie, I’ll do it.’
‘Thank you.’ She sagged with relief. At least all that excruciating humiliation hadn’t been for nothing. ‘We can work out a schedule. I’ll be very respectful and I won’t intrude on your personal life. I mean, I wouldn’t want to complicate things with your girlfriend or anything.’
‘I don’t have a girlfriend.’
‘Oh – well, that could change.’
‘It won’t. I don’t really do girlfriends. And that’s another thing.’
‘What?’
‘This is going to sound unbelievably arrogant, but if we’re going to do this, we need to sort out some ground rules.’
‘Okay.’
‘And number-one rule is you don’t get hung up on me.’
‘You’re right!’ she said, with a harsh laugh. ‘That does sound unbelievably arrogant.’
‘Sorry, but I just want us both to be clear what this is,’ he said, waving his hand between them. ‘Women tend to be more
emotional about sex, and if you’re as inexperienced as you say you are … We’re going to be doing things, intimate things, and it might make you feel – well, I just don’t want you to confuse sex with love or to start thinking about me like a boyfriend.’
‘Don’t worry. The fact that I’m paying you will take care of that.’
‘Yeah,’ he nodded, ‘maybe it’s a good thing you’ll be paying me. It’ll be a reminder that this is a business relationship.’
‘Maybe we should draw up a contract,’ she said stiffly, needled.
‘No need for that. I just don’t want you accusing me of misleading you. I don’t want you to have false expectations.’
‘I won’t. Anyway, I’m doing this because I want to be with Mark, remember?’
‘Okay. So what’s the going rate for this sort of thing, then? What were you going to pay the escort?’
‘They mostly seem to charge a hundred euro for half an hour.’
Luca gave a low whistle.
‘I know!’ She rolled her eyes. ‘So I wouldn’t be able to afford that many lessons anyway.’
‘How much have you budgeted for this little project?’ he asked, an amused smile playing around his lips.
‘I haven’t exactly. I was just going to play it by ear. But I have five hundred, and after that I couldn’t afford to spend more than a hundred euro a week.’
‘Well, you can do a lot in half an hour,’ he said, edging closer to her on the sofa. ‘And maybe we could work something out.’ He reached out with one finger and began tracing her collarbone where it was exposed by the open neck of her shirt.
Claire gulped. ‘Like what?’
Luca looked into her eyes for a long time before answering, his finger lightly stroking her skin. ‘I could take part payment in kind, maybe.’ He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the
hollow at the base of her throat, his finger tugging at the neck of her shirt.
‘You mean – sex?’
Luca lifted his head. ‘Yeah. Why not? I like sex. I don’t have a regular girlfriend. Maybe apart from your lessons, you could—’
‘Service you?’
‘You make it sound so cold.’
‘I thought cold was what you wanted.’ Paying him in sex – she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. What did that make her? But it was no worse than what she had suggested to him.
‘Well, think about it anyway.’ He kissed her, one hand stroking down her arm, then coming up to open the top button of her shirt.
Claire pulled away. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Obviously we’re going to have to start with the basics. This is called kissing. I’m kissing you. It’s part of what’s known as foreplay. Do you want to take notes?’
‘Oh! I don’t – I wasn’t planning to start right away. I’m not … prepared.’
‘I don’t mind a bit of undergrowth if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘It’s not,’ she yelped. But it so was. She had lots of prep work to do before she’d be ready to let Luca see her naked. She didn’t even have any decent underwear. ‘I – I don’t have any cash on me right now,’ she said.
‘You can owe me,’ he said, leaning in again.
‘No.’ She pushed him away. ‘I’d rather pay upfront.’
‘Well, why don’t I give you a free sample? Try before you buy.’ He was nuzzling her neck, his breath warm on her skin.
‘No, that really won’t be necessary.’
‘Suit yourself,’ he said, finally giving up and sitting back.
‘We need to go over the rest of the ground rules first anyway. For instance, how much time will you be able to give me? When would be the best time for me to come here?’
‘I tell you what, give me the five hundred and I’ll give you all the time you need.’
‘Really? That would only allow me two and a half hours with an escort.’
‘Well, I believe in giving value for money. Think of it as a special offer – buy one, get one free.’
‘I have work in the daytime, so I’d have to come in the evenings.’
‘That’s fine.’
Claire fished in her bag and pulled out a diary. ‘Would Thursday evening be convenient to start?’ she asked.
Luca smirked and she knew he was mocking her formal demeanour. ‘Thursday evening is perfect. I’ll pencil it into my diary.’
‘Now, another thing. I’ll be going on the pill, but I want you to wear condoms as well. I’ll pay for them – and any other expenses involved.’
‘Okay.’
‘Do you have any questions? Any rules you’d like to add – apart from not getting hung up on you?’
‘Just one question – what’s the name of your blog?’
‘My blog? Why?’
‘I think I should have a look at it, don’t you? So that I have an idea of what we need to cover.’
‘Are you going to make a lesson plan?’ she asked, giggling.
‘Maybe I will. I’m a conscientious worker.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. It’s called ‘Scenes of a Sexual Nature’.’ She stood up, brushing the creases in her trousers. ‘Well, I’ll see you on Thursday,’ she said, holding her hand out to him in a formal gesture.
He stood, taking it. ‘I still think we should do it now,’ he said softly, his index finger stroking her palm. ‘Just a quickie – to get it out of the way.’
‘Why do you think we should do that?’
‘Because you’ll build it up into a big thing in your head,
and then you’ll be nervous on Thursday. If we did it now, you wouldn’t have time to get all worked up about it.’
‘I couldn’t be much more worked up than I already am,’ she said, with a panicky laugh.
‘Relax, Claire,’ he said, as he saw her to the door. ‘There’s nothing to worry about. Learning can be fun – you’ll see.’
Well, that was weird, Luca thought, as he closed the door behind Claire. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her bizarre proposal, and he still couldn’t quite believe he’d agreed to it. But she’d been kind to him the other night when she didn’t have to be and he felt he owed her. Besides, he needed the money. And it would be no hardship to him, having regular no-strings-attached sex on tap.
He just hoped he could rely on Claire not to start wanting more – because that never ended well. If he’d learned one thing in life it was that you couldn’t rely on other people for your happiness, and he certainly didn’t want anyone relying on him – he would only let them down.
He and Ali had been to enough therapists and shrinks throughout their childhood for him to know he had attachment issues. But he was sick of girls who thought they could be the one to cure him of them. He knew he was a bit fucked up, but he was fucked up in a way that worked for him. It was a survival mechanism and it kept everyone safe. Because bad things happened when you started wanting more.
The following day was mild and sunny, and Claire met Catherine for lunch in Merrion Square Park. It was close to Bookends and the shop had been quiet, so Tom had told her she could take her time.
‘How did it go with Mark?’ Catherine asked, pulling a foil-wrapped roll and a bottle of mineral water from her bag. They were sitting on plastic chairs at the edge of a group of mothers and wriggling, squealing toddlers, who were watching the end of a puppet show. It was part of an all-day children’s event in the park that Catherine was attending as research for a piece she had been commissioned to write on sponsored children’s activities. Paddington was parked beside her in another brand-new state-of-the-art buggy.
‘Great,’ Claire said, as she unwrapped her sandwich on her knee. ‘It went really well.’
Catherine turned to look at her closely. ‘Really?’ she said, her eyes lighting up, and Claire knew that her smile spoke volumes. ‘So, is he as nice as he seems on Twitter?’
‘Yeah, he’s lovely. And it’s official – I have a book deal.’
‘Oh, my God, next time we
have
to have champagne. Anyway, congratulations!’ Catherine picked up her bottle of mineral water from the grass and bumped it against Claire’s.
‘Thanks.’ Claire took a bite of her sandwich.
‘And was there flirting?’
Claire smiled and nodded as she chewed. When she had swallowed, she said, ‘There might even have been some kissing.’
Catherine’s eyes widened. ‘Wow, get you!’
‘We met up again on Sunday and hung out until it was time for him to go. It was really nice.’
‘So you managed to pull off the sassy thing, then?’
‘A bit. Yvonne gave me lots of flirting tips, but I didn’t use them much. Mostly I was just myself – or maybe a slightly pimped-up version of myself.’
‘Well, it obviously worked.’
‘Yeah. He – he kind of asked me up to his room when we went back to his hotel for a drink.’
‘The cheeky bugger!’
‘He said he doesn’t usually move that fast,’ Claire said defensively, ‘but he felt like we’d already known each other a long time. It was like that for me too.’
‘So, did you go?’
‘No. I was tempted, but it would have been kind of obvious that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. My cover would have been blown.’
‘Mm, I see what you mean. That’s a pity. You finally meet a man you like and he’s off-limits.’
‘Only temporarily, I hope. I really do like him. And I think he likes me too. He asked me over to London for a weekend.’
‘To stay with him?’
Claire nodded. ‘I’m going to try to get over while Mum’s still in the nursing home.’
‘So, what are you going to do? I mean, you can’t keep fending him off for ever.’
‘I wouldn’t want to. But I told him I have a five-date rule.’
‘A five-date rule,’ Catherine mused. ‘I didn’t know people really did that.’
‘Apparently they do. So I can date him for a while, get to know him better, without sex being an issue. And in the meantime I’m going to get some practice.’
Catherine almost choked on her sandwich. ‘Practice?’ she croaked when she had recovered. ‘Please tell me you’re not going to start trawling bars and picking up strange men.’
Claire shook her head. ‘I already have someone lined up to practise on. He’s a friend of Yvonne’s. I met him at a party last week. So it’s all perfectly safe and above board.’
‘Blimey! Does this guy know he’s a sort of coach, training you up for the big occasion?’
‘Oh, yeah. I was completely upfront with him about it. He knows the whole story and he’s fine with it. He’s a total man-whore – shags anything that moves, I gather. He’s broke, so I’m paying him to … teach me.’
Catherine looked at her in slack-jawed silence. ‘Let me get this straight,’ she said finally. ‘You – Claire Kennedy – are going to pay a guy to have sex with you. When you bust out of that shell, you don’t do it by halves, do you?’
‘Oh, believe me, this isn’t easy for me,’ Claire said, with a shaky smile. ‘I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s a means to an end.’ She was dreading it, in fact. It would be beyond awkward, but she would try not to think about it too much, and after she’d got through it, she’d never have to see Luca again. She could put the whole episode behind her and forget about it.
‘We’re starting tomorrow night,’ she said, feeling the stirring of nerves in her stomach at the thought of it.
‘Well, good luck!’
Just then, Claire’s phone pinged with a message. She pulled it out of her bag, feeling a little glow of pleasure when she saw it was from Mark:
What are you wearing?
She smiled to herself as she texted back:
A lot of green and a little mayonnaise. Lunch in the park = challenging! #eatingdisorder
His reply came back a moment later:
I bet you look adorable in it. Just wanted to let you know your offer letter is being drawn up. Everyone here very excited about publishing Scenes. Must dash. x
‘Sorry,’ she said to Catherine as she typed a quick reply:
Yay! Excited too. x
‘That’s okay,’ Catherine said. ‘Was that him?’
‘Yes. They’re getting my official offer ready,’ Claire said, as she put her phone back into her bag. Mark’s text had come at just the right time, reminding her why she was putting herself through the ordeal with Luca. It would be worth it if she could be with Mark in the end.
The puppet show ended to a round of applause and the
crowd began to disperse, children leaping from their seats and tearing towards the playground while harried mothers were still gathering up all their paraphernalia.
‘Doesn’t Paddy want a go on the swings?’ Claire asked, nodding towards the buggy.
‘No, he’s a bit tired. It’s been a long day. I’ll bring him home for a nap soon.’ She drained her mineral water and screwed the lid back on, dropping the empty bottle into a plastic bag. ‘Those kids are all hyped up on sugar,’ she said, nodding to the children charging towards the playground while their mothers trotted after them, juggling change bags and juice cups while trying to manoeuvre empty pushchairs across the grass. ‘The evil geniuses behind this event were handing out free fizzy drinks all day. I didn’t let Paddy have any.’