Someone Else's Life (35 page)

Holly

I stare at the sign as we drive past.

WELCOME TO BRAMBERLEY, TWINNED WITH CHARMOINES-SUR-MER

A shiver thrills through me. This is it. My hometown—village, rather. I gaze out the cab window as the rolling green hills give way to rows of huddling houses, then a duck pond and—no way!—a real live castle! I grin. Melissa would love this. It’s like traveling back in time into a whole other world, filled with fields of sheep and cows, thatched cottages, rustic pubs, a large stone church …

“Wait!” I cry suddenly, turning to the cabdriver. “Stop here, please!”

I step out of the car and stare up at the tall gray stone building with its enormous stained-glass windows and large black clock face. I follow the gravel path up to the large iron gate and beyond, into a graveyard scattered with headstones.

My breath catches at every new stone as I scan each inscription nervously …

And then, suddenly, there she is.

I stare, mesmerized, at the stone, the letters fresh and clear.

GERTRUDE KENNING

BELOVED DAUGHTER, WIFE, AND MOTHER

Mother
 …

“Mom …?” My heart suddenly constricts, crippled by the crushing realization that no matter what I do or where I go, this, here—a stone, a patch of mud—is the closest I’ll ever get to her.

I stroke my fingers over the frozen soil, my tears glistening on the infant grass.

She was my mother and we never even met. She never knew me … She’ll
never
know me …

“I’m here, Mom,” I whisper. “I came back.”

Too late
.

The stone swims before me as I lean forward to touch it—so smooth, so hard, so cold.

Just a few weeks
 … I realize wretchedly.
I missed her by just a few miserable weeks
.

“I miss you, Mom,” I tell her, my voice shuddering in the empty graveyard. “I miss you so much.”

The words blur as I trace them with shaking fingertips.

D
—
A
—
V

Surprised, I blink, focus.

DAVID KENNING

LOVING SON, HUSBAND, FATHER

Father
 …

My dad’s headstone as well as my mother’s—my
birth
dad.

January 5th
 …

My birthday. The year I was born.

Guilt hits me without warning. Rosie never knew her dad. She never had a dad …

The image of Dad at the airport burns in my head and my heart twists painfully. I’ve had a dad all this time, my whole life, as real and as wonderful as any dad could be, and I would have never known my birth father, whatever happened. He died the night I was born …

The night we were born
.

I shiver as I imagine what it must have been like—what it would be like if I was giving birth now and I discovered that Josh had been killed—if my baby was ill … if it died …

A wave of overwhelming sadness floods through me as I gaze at the stone.

This—
this
is what started it all. Not greed, not selfishness, not neglect—this tragedy.
This
is why Sarah switched us. This man—my dad—he died. If he hadn’t—if there hadn’t been a storm … I close my eyes, imagining how she must’ve felt—my mom—how helpless, how hopeless … worrying for her sick baby, grieving for her dead husband …

And now she’s dead too. They’re both dead. Here we are, fighting over them, while they’re dead and gone.

We’ve
both
lost them. Forever.

And nothing can ever bring them back.

Rosie

This is ridiculous. I check my phone for the hundredth time this weekend. No news is good news, right? If Nana knew by now, surely she’d have rung me?

Or maybe not … Maybe she’ll never want to speak to me again …

My insides twist as I stare fearfully at the silent phone.

This is torture!
I’ve tried not to think about it, tried to get on with other things, but I can’t concentrate, can’t sleep, can’t live like this—not knowing, fearing, waiting for the phone to ring, yet dreading it so much—it’s driving me mad!

I take a deep breath and pick it up determinedly.

I’m going to do it this time
, I tell myself.
I’m going to tell her
. I have to. She has to know.

If she doesn’t already
.

I hesitate, then punch in the last number, steeling myself as it rings at the other end.

I’m not going to hang up
—
I’m not going to hang up
—
I’m not going to
—

“Hello—”

“Nana!” I cry quickly, before I have the chance to chicken out again. “Nana, I—”

“You have reached Laura Fisher’s phone—I’m not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone.”

Shit!
I can’t tell her on a
machine
!

I snap my phone shut and hurl it onto the bed, pacing the room like a trapped animal, tearing at my hair. This is hopeless! I can’t just sit here waiting, wondering, worrying … My eyes fall on my rucksack.

I grab my stuff and start shoving it in.

I can at least wait somewhere useful.

Holly

The silence is broken by a peal of jangling bells, the sudden noise startling me and sending a flock of chattering sparrows scattering into the sky like confetti. A group of giggling girls spills out the church doors, followed by a fleet of young mothers with strollers, their children racing and chasing around the headstones.

More people stream out of the church, flowing along the path behind me, chatting loudly, their footsteps noisy on the crunchy gravel. I duck my head as they pass, hurrying away from the crowd, the noise, my eyes glued to the ground as I quickly cross the street.

“Mrs. Fisher! Laura!”

I spin around, my heart pounding. I scan the crowd quickly, urgently, my eyes flicking quickly over each person, afraid I’ll miss her, though I don’t even know what she looks like.

Until I see her.

I know it’s her. I just know. Her white hair is a fluffy cloud around her heart-shaped face, her lilac coat and skirt flattering on her small frame, her laughter warm and bright as she turns to gratefully receive her forgotten scarf from a little boy.

My nana. I stare at her, absorbing every detail. She’s got my nose, I realize suddenly, tingling. Or rather, I’ve got hers. I wander along the street, trying to keep track of her as she moves, craning my neck to see past the churchgoers who keep wandering into my way. Frustrated, I cross back over the road, anxious for a better view.

Suddenly, she looks my way, and I freeze, my heart in my mouth.

I stare at her, my eyes locked tightly on hers, my breath caught in my throat.

I don’t even see the car skidding to avoid me.

Until suddenly I do.

Rosie

I take a deep breath, hitch my bag onto my shoulder, and walk into the living room.

Megan’s reading, and Jack’s doing a jigsaw with Ben, so it takes a moment for them to notice me. I watch them silently, imprinting the scene on my memory, my heart heavy.

Finally Jack looks up, taking in my coat, my backpack. He puts down his jigsaw piece. “I thought your flight wasn’t for a couple of days?”

“It’s not,” I admit. “But I want to go and wait at the airport. There might be a stand-by seat, and if I’m there …”

“You know, you don’t have to go,” he says quietly.

“I do,” I sigh. “I really do. I need to be there—to tell Nana myself.” I blink fiercely. “If I’m not too late.”

Jack pulls me to him, strokes my hair, and I close my eyes tight, trying to remember this moment forever, his warmth and love equally comforting and heartbreaking.

My dad
.

With great effort, I pull myself away, swallow hard.

“Can I use your phone to call a cab?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll drive you.”

“I think I’d rather get a cab,” I say gently. “It could take hours to get a flight, and—” I look away. “I’m no good at goodbyes.”

Jack swallows hard, rubs his brow, then nods.

And if you’re there
, I think, moving past him toward the phone,
I might not ever get on the plane
.

Holly

I open my eyes and have no idea where I am. I blink a couple of times, struggling to focus. People in white coats drift past, and I’m lying down, my body heavy, with an odd feeling of having been abducted by aliens.

I try to move, and pain spears my temples, stopping me short. I screw my eyes shut, and, in a flash, I remember the car.

The baby
.

Suddenly I can’t breathe.

I try to sit up, my hands flying to my stomach.

I’ve lost it, I know I have …

“Holly?” A nurse appears next to me, taking my hand. “Holly—good, you’re awake.” I look at her desperately and she smiles. “It’s okay, the doctor’s just going to check you over—can you tell me where it hurts?”

“My baby,” I tell her. “Oh, God, my baby …”

“You’re pregnant?” she says, a frown flickering over her face. She smiles again quickly. “Don’t worry, we’ll do a complete check on you and your baby.” She squeezes my hand. “You’re in the best place now.”

I nod weakly, the fear inside me so deep, so real, it takes my breath away. My baby, my precious baby … it’s my fault, I didn’t deserve it—I was going to have an abortion … an
abortion!
Bile floods my mouth and I close my eyes.
I’m sorry
, I tell it, too late.
I’m so sorry …

“Is there anyone you’d like me to call for you?” the nurse asks. “To let them know you’re all right?”

I shake my head, and she turns to leave. I watch her go, feeling small and helpless.

“Dad,” I say suddenly, my voice thin and childlike. “My daddy.”

Rosie

The phone rings just as I’m about to call the cab. I stare at it, startled, then lift the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hello,” a distant voice says. “Hello, can I speak to Mr. Jack Woods?”

“Just a minute.” I hand the receiver to Jack. “It’s for you.”

“Hello?” Jack says as I sit down again, my backpack between my knees. Megan hugs me tight as Ben climbs into my lap.

“We’ll miss you,” she whispers, kissing my head.

“You too.” I hug them close. I’ll miss all of them so much—Megan and little Ben—and especially Jack. I look at him, talking on the phone, and my heart aches.
My dad
 …

But this is something I have to do.

Jack hangs up, and I move to take the phone, but he stops me.

“You won’t need a cab, Rosie,” he says, rubbing his face. “I’m coming with you.”

“Jack—”

“To England.”

Megan stares at him.
“What?”

“That was a hospital over there,” he says, his face ashen, drawn. “Holly’s been in an accident.”

My head snaps up.

“What?!”
Megan gasps. “What happened—is she okay?”

“She’s fine.” He nods absently, still staring at the phone. “The nurse said she’s just fine …”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Megan sighs, relief flooding her features.

Thank God!

Jack looks up, his face pale. “And so is her baby.”

Holly

“Everything’s okay?” I stare at the midwife incredulously. “Are you sure the baby’s okay?”

“The baby’s fine.” She smiles, wiping the ultrasound jelly from my stomach. “Perfect. You’re a lucky girl to have got away with just cuts and bruises—if that car had been going any faster it would’ve been a completely different story.”

“Thank God.” I rest my head back against the pillows, my hand warm against my cool belly.
Thank God
. I can’t believe it. Can’t believe I’ve been so lucky.

“You should get some rest,” she advises me. “You’ve been through a lot, young lady, and it would do the baby good too.”

I nod, suddenly exhausted. “Okay.”

“And if you’re good, I’ll see if I can get you some chocolate mousse with your lunch—we only get it on Mondays, and there’s always a bit of a scrum for it, but I’m friendly with the kitchen staff, so I’ll see what I can do.” She winks. “It’s heavenly.”

“Thank you,” I tell her, my throat swelling with gratitude. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Now rest, okay? They’ll be kicking you out of here in the morning, so make the most of it.” She grins at me, and I smile back.

“Sarah!” another nurse calls. “Sarah, have you got a minute?”

The smile freezes on my face.

“No rest for the wicked.” She winks. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back with that mousse.”

I stare at her as she walks away, the feeling of disbelief stronger than ever.

Sarah?

Rosie

She’s
pregnant?
Holly’s
pregnant?

Oh, God, all this stress, and she’s
pregnant?

I gaze out the window as we rumble along the runway, the past couple of hours a blur, my head still whirling with the news, trying to spot the signs I missed—in her moods, her actions, her words …

The test
, I realize suddenly. She was asking me about getting tested …

I close my eyes. I can’t even imagine what I’d do in her situation, what she must’ve been going through all this time. God, it’s bad enough having to deal with Huntington’s, but knowing you could be passing it on to your
child?
And she didn’t tell anyone. I glance at Jack, who’s staring blankly out of the plane window. He’s been in a state of shock ever since we got the news. At least we managed to get stand-by seats—at least we’re on our way. But he didn’t know. She didn’t tell him. She didn’t tell anyone. Unless …

Andy
. Andy gave her his phone, kept coming to visit her, spent the day with her … He knew! Holly must’ve confided in him. I smile. I only wish I’d done the same.

I glance at my watch. Six and a half hours. Six and a half more hours and we’ll be there. Jack will be with Holly and I’ll be home. My stomach lurches.

Who knows what’ll be waiting for us.