Someone Else's Life (38 page)

Rosie

The sun finally breaks through the clouds as we round the corner away from the clinic. I watch it disappear in the rearview mirror, behind the trees, the lampposts, the houses; then I sink back in my seat, my eyes closed, glad to leave it behind for the very last time.

So this is how it ends, I think, glancing at Jack, his arm around Holly in the backseat. My dad. I smile. I found him, and he’s terrific. We’re reunited. A family. And now … now we’re all going home.

My gaze falls on Holly, her eyes closed, exhausted, the opposite side of my coin in so many ways. She made the choice I couldn’t. She decided not to know. She’d rather live life hoping for the best than risk discovering a dark cloud looming over her future. Maybe she’ll be lucky, maybe she’ll be clear, maybe she’ll never develop symptoms. Even if she does, it won’t be for many years. Perhaps there’ll even be a cure by then. Maybe she’ll live a long and healthy life with her child and I’ll get hit by a bus next week. Who knows?

I glance at Sarah in the driver’s seat, her face aged a decade since I saw her last, haunted by the repercussions of one split-second decision she made eighteen years ago … Her eyes meet Jack’s in the rearview mirror again. This time he smiles peacefully as he strokes Holly’s hair.

The past has passed, after all. It’s time for us all to move on, look to the future.

Time to say goodbye.

I sigh as I climb out of the car and look up at Nana’s house. The front door opens and I freeze as I recognize the familiar face.

Andy.

“Hey, stranger,” he says, walking down the drive toward me. “Fancy seeing you here.”

I beam at him, my heart racing. What’s he doing here? He should be on the other side of the world—shouldn’t he?

He glances at the car.

“I came to give Holly a lift to …” He hesitates. “Has she—is she …?”

“No.” I shake my head. “She chose not to know.”

He looks relieved.

“But what are you—how did you—aren’t you meant to be in … Cambodia or something?” I stammer.

“Vietnam.” Andy nods. “Yep. Yep, I am.”

“So you came all the way back home … for Holly?” I ask.

“Well, no …,” he confesses sheepishly, hands deep in his pockets. “Not
exactly
 …”

“Then …?”

“Well …” He sighs, shuffling his feet through the leaves as he shuffles closer. “I realized I’d left something behind …”

“Oh?” The scent of his aftershave drifts on the breeze as he moves closer.

“The same thing I keep leaving—the most important thing of all.”

“Your passport?” I whisper, his breath warm on my face.

“No, idiot. Much more important than that.” He grins, brushing my hair behind my ear. “I keep leaving
you
.”

My heart flips, my skin tingling at his touch.

“I thought I was missing out, being stuck in tiny Provincetown, that I was getting in the way and missing my trip—the adventure I’d looked forward to and worked for and planned for so long …” He sighs. “I didn’t get it.
You’re
the adventure, Rose—
you’re
the trip! You’re a bloody roller coaster!” He grins. “You’re what made New York so incredible—you’re what made me want to go traveling in the first place. This is
our
dream. Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand … it doesn’t mean anything unless you’re there.”

He looks deep into my eyes and my pulse races.

“I can’t go without you, Rose.” He shakes his head. “There’s no point—I’d rather not go at all. I’ll wait for you, we’ll travel together.” He cups my face gently, smiles. “When you’re ready … I’m gonna be right here waiting for you,” he promises, pulling me close, searching my eyes. “However long it takes.”

I look at him and can hardly breathe, my heart thumping like crazy against his, my necklace nestled between.

“I love you, Rosie Kenning, and I want to be with you. Full stop.”

“I love you too.” I smile, and he kisses me, a long, deep, lingering kiss that thrills through my veins and makes my head spin dizzily, as only Andy can. I kiss him back, holding him as tight as possible—like I’ll never let him go again.

“Oi, no snogging on the driveway, young lady!” Jack shouts.

I laugh, my cheeks hot as I turn to grin at him standing by the doorway with Nana, Holly and Sarah.

“Can we cadge a lift to the airport, young man?” he calls.

“Certainly, sir!” Andy salutes, kissing me again before going to unlock his car.

I take a deep breath and steel myself, my insides twisting. I hate goodbyes.

I walk up the driveway, gazing fondly at the little bungalow, at Nana in the doorway, and my heart aches. I know I’m doing the right thing. It’s time to go home. For all of us. Them to New England. Me to my old England.

More or less.

It’s so weird—it’s only been a few weeks, just over a month, really, since I left, but it seems like a lifetime. So much has happened, so much has changed. Yet here nothing has so much as shifted position. Nana’s garden gnome is still fishing determinedly in the frozen pond, the hall clock still runs two minutes fast, the old family-photo collage still hangs at a jaunty angle beneath—I even bet Cary Grant’s still in the DVD player. Everything the same as it always was, as it always has been—ever since Mum was a little girl.

Mum
. My heart floods with love for her. My mother, my mum. She always was. She always will be. She beams down at me from a multitude of photos, her chestnut hair gleaming in the afternoon sunlight.
Trudie
.

“Oh, Rosie, I’m so happy you’re home.” Nana smiles, and suddenly I see Mum there too—in Nana’s sparkling eyes, her bright smile, the warmth of her hug as she holds me tight, her hair soft as candy-floss against my cheek, her love spreading through me like melted chocolate.

“Me too, Nana.” I hold her close, her small frame dwarfed by mine, the familiar smell of hot tea and toast wrapping round me like a cozy blanket, engulfing me with memories. I press my eyes closed, imagining—fearing—just how awful all this could so easily have turned out, and my skin prickles.

“You’ve got goose bumps!” she laughs, rubbing my arms. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” I say.
Just one more secret, one more lie
 … “Just chilly.”

“You need a nice hot chocolate!” Nana grins. “Warms you from the inside out, you know?” She winks.

I look at her—so happy, so fragile, so precious …

“That’d be lovely.” I smile tightly, locking the truth inside forever, realizing fully for the first time how Sarah felt, why she kept her secret for so long.

Some things are more precious than the truth
 …

Holly

“Goodbye, Holly,” Sarah says softly, almost afraid to look me in the eye now that she knows who I am. “Take care.”

“Goodbye, Sarah,” I sigh, gazing at the woman who changed my life. The woman I thought I’d hate—this tired-looking woman with sorrow in her eyes and lines etched across her face, who brought me chocolate mousse and cared for my baby—who took me from my real mother and gave me to my wonderful dad.

For that, I could never hate her, not really.

Laura hugs me goodbye, and I smile. She was right.
Que sera, sera
. I squeeze her tightly, breathing in her faint perfume. You can’t predict how life’s gonna work out … 
For better, or worse
—I smile, thinking of Josh waiting for me at home.
For richer, for poorer
—I think of Kitty …

Usually life’s a bit of all those things. But it’s what you do with it that counts. And I intend to make the most of every single moment.

I take a deep breath as Rosie walks me to the car.

“Well,” I say. “I guess this is it.”

She nods. We look at each other for an awkward moment; then I stick out my hand.

“Well, goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” she says quietly, taking my hand, then holding on. “I know it’s not enough—it never will be …,” she whispers, takes a deep breath. “But Holly, I really am so sorry,” she says, her eyes deep in mine. “About everything.”

I look at her, my cheeks growing warm in the frosty air, then shake my head. “It wasn’t your fault, Rosie.” I sigh. “It wasn’t anyone’s. Not really.”

“I’m still sorry,” she says softly.

I look at her for a moment. “Me too,” I admit. “I’ve been a bit of a bitch lately.”

She laughs, shakes her head.

“Blame the hormones.” I grin.

“Congratulations.” She beams. “You’re going to be such a great mum!” She holds me close, and I return her hug, feeling all my resentment and hurt finally ebbing away.

“And for what it’s worth,” she whispers, “I think you made the right decision.” She pulls back, her eyes earnest. “I think some things you’re better off not knowing.”

I nod slowly, then glance at Laura standing by the door. I squeeze Rosie’s hand, a lump forming in my throat. “I think you’re right.” I smile.

She follows my gaze, her eyes shimmering as she pulls me into another tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispers, squeezing me tight.
“Thank you so much.”

I smile.

“Now, don’t be a stranger,” she commands. “Come and visit whenever you want—you know where we are now.”

“Speaking of which …” I pull out the little pink address book and give it to her guiltily. “I believe this is yours—I, er, guess I got a bit confused about what belonged to who …”

Rosie smiles, then tears a page out. “Keep this,” she says, handing me their contact details. “Then you’ll always know how to find us—
Mi casa et su casa
.” She laughs at the irony. “Literally.”

“You too,” I tell her. “You’ll have to come meet this little one when he or she arrives.”

“Try and stop me!” She grins, squeezing my hands. “Thank you, Holly.”

Yes
, I think, smiling as she walks away.
She’s right
.

I look at her as Dad hugs her goodbye.
Father and daughter
.

I watch Laura’s face light up as Rosie hurries back down the driveway.
To her nana
.

I smile at Dad as he slides into Andy’s car next to me and squeezes my hand as we glide away from the curb, heading for home. He pulls me close and kisses my head.

His daughter
.

I close my eyes, the blood hot in my veins.
Undiagnosed …

Yes
, I think as Dad’s palm gently settles on top of mine on my stomach, his large hand feather-soft, stroking the resting place of my unborn child, who’s sleeping soundly—its fate, its future unknown, a new leaf springing up on this bizarre family tree.

Yes, some things people are better off not knowing
 …

Epilogue

Sunlight dances over the little girl’s red curls as she gazes at the camera, her brown eyes wide as she suddenly lunges chocolaty fingers toward the screen.

The picture immediately jolts and twists, continuing at a skewed angle as her chestnut-haired mother struggles to wrestle the webcam from her iron grip.

“She’s gorgeous!” I tell Holly, laughing as she adjusts the camera.

“Just like her mom.” Josh smiles, resting his head on Holly’s shoulder as she beams at him. She’s glowing. They both are.

“Well, she definitely got my hair, anyway,” she concedes. “Born with a whole head of it, poor thing!” She grins. “So, Rosie, when’re you gonna come visit? Tru can’t wait to meet her godmother.”

I beam, my heart swelling at the name, and the honor. I can’t believe they’ve made me godmother!

“Red alert, red alert—she’s trying to suck you into babysitting duties!” Jack appears behind Holly, grimacing. “Holly seems to have an aversion to changing nappies!”

“They stink worse than you!” she retorts.

“Hey, Granddad.” I grin.

“Watch it!” Jack laughs. “I’m feeling ancient enough as it is. So, you coming over or what?”

“I’d love to, but I start back at Sixth Form in two weeks, and I’ve got heaps of catching up to do.”

“Ugh! Tell me about it!” Holly rolls her eyes. “I’ve got so much reading to do before I even
start
college!”

“Maybe Christmas, though?” I say. “Or Easter? Of course, I’d
have
to come over for a wedding …” I grin at Holly and Josh. “Any sign of a diamond yet, Holls?”

“Not yet.” She smiles at Josh, her fingers intertwined with his like a candy cane. “But you never know what the future holds …”

I look at them; they’re so happy.
You never know …

She’s right. A year ago I could never have imagined that this was what the future had in store—that Mum wasn’t really my mum; that her real daughter was on the other side of the Atlantic; that I’d discover my real mother was a TV star, and that I’d be reunited with my wonderful dad, my gorgeous half brother, and to all intents and purposes a sister too … I smile. We’ve come a long way. And Holly’s so right. Who knows what’ll be around the next corner—a wedding, a tsunami, a cure … All any of us can really do is make the most of the time we’ve got, seize the day, treasure every moment with the people we love.

My screen bleeps.

“Oh! I’ve got another call,” I tell them. “It’s Nana.”

“Give her my love.” Holly smiles. “Speak soon.”

I say goodbye, then connect to Nana. It still amazes me how she’s got the hang of all this technology. She’s a whiz at Skype now, bought her own webcam and even has her own Facebook account to keep up with my photos!

“Hello, sweetheart, just a quickie, as I saw you were online.” She smiles. “I wanted to check you’re still coming home next week?”

“Next Saturday, two-fifteen p.m.”

“Wonderful! I can’t wait.”

I smile. “Me neither.”

There’s no place like home, especially as it was so nearly ripped apart. I still shudder to think how things might’ve been if Nana had found out the truth—have to watch myself every time I mention Holly or Jack. I guess it’s something I’ll just have to live with—the last secret I have to keep.

“Holly sends her love,” I say carefully.

“How lovely, and isn’t she doing well? I get her updates on Facebook—isn’t her baby adorable?”

“Beautiful.” I smile wistfully.
Your great
-
granddaughter
. My heart aches to tell her, but I never can. “She’s perfect.”

“All that gorgeous hair! Almost the same shade as Trudie’s.”

I bite my tongue and nod, the irony of her comparison almost unbearable. “She was born with it, Holly said.”

“Yes.” Nana beams. “It was the same with her. Beautiful fluffy ginger wisps, and that funny little kinky ear—like a little pixie.” She chuckles. “Just like her mother.”

I frown suddenly. “Nana, you don’t have a kink …”

“And look at her now.”

My breath sticks in my throat as I stare at her, her eyes twinkling as goose bumps prickle down my arms.

“Nana …”

“Oh, Rosie, I’ve got to dash—the girls have arrived. We’re going bowling.”

“What? Nana, wait—”

“I’m a big girl, Rosie, you don’t have to worry about me—on the bowling green, or off.” She winks. “I’m not daft.”

I stare at her.

“Listen, I’ve got to go—we’ll catch up properly when you’re back, okay? It’ll be much better in person.” She beams. “You can tell me everything I’ve missed. Now stop worrying, and go and have fun!”

“Okay, but—”

“I love you, darling—byee!”

“Love you …” The call disconnects and her name fades on the screen. I stare at it numbly for a moment.

She knows …

My heart hammers wildly.

Has she always known …?

I scour my memory quickly, remembering how Nana was there the night I was born, how she was with Sarah when they discovered Kitty had run away, how she always referred to me as a miracle, how she didn’t think Trudie would’ve coped without me … how insistent she was that I take the test as soon as possible,
even though there isn’t a cure …

I step outside into the blinding sun, the air dense and hard to breathe.

How she knew that Holly was born with ginger hair and a kinky ear …

The sand shifts beneath my feet.

Did she always know I wasn’t Trudie’s baby?

Or has she just worked it out …?

Andy looks up from his tatty guidebook. “Everything all right?”

I look at him, my head spinning.

“Yes.” A smile blossoms slowly across my mouth. It is.
It finally is
.

Whether she always knew, or whether she just figured it out
—
she knows. Nana knows
—
and it’s okay … everything’s okay …

She can finally know Holly—and Jack—and little Tru … We can finally be a family—a real family.

No more secrets, no more lies …

I beam at Andy—my Andy—relaxed and bronzed and happier than I’ve ever seen him, lying on the golden Thai beach waiting for me, the sun warm on my face, my heart soaring with the birds wheeling freely high above, feeling simultaneously like I’m dreaming and like I’ve just woken up. “Everything’s perfect.”

“Good.” He grins, dropping his book on his towel. “Ready to dive in?”

The waves wink at me, glittering with promise as far as the eye can see—as boundless, beautiful and fathomless as the future.

“Definitely.” I beam, sprinting across the beach, the wind dancing in my hair, sand flying, shrieking with laughter as Andy chases me toward the sparkling water, the crashing waves, the infinite horizon, our footprints mingling in the sand behind us …