Someone to Love (3 page)

The next couple of hours we sit and sing along to the songs we know, and talk and laugh through the ones we don’t. Spencer is soon laughing again, so I guess he came out of his funk. When I am ready to go and stand to say my goodbyes, Spencer stands too. I have to wonder if this is him being a gentleman or if he’s coming with me. My question about his intentions are answered as he says bye to Tucker and Brenna, follows me out the door, and back over to my apartment.

Once inside my apartment, I close the door before turning to him.

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“Sleep.” He quickly answers.

“You know you can sleep in my bed. It’s plenty big for the both of us and a whole lot more comfortable than the couch.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Lexi,” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. He seems to be thinking about it though.

“Look Spencer, I’m not asking for anything. I’m just offering you a more comfortable place to sleep.”

That sounded unbelievable even to me.

He’s silent for so long, that I give up and head to my room. Grabbing clothes, I go into the bathroom to shower. When I head back into my room, I notice the other pillow on my bed but, Spencer isn’t in there. The bathroom door closes and the shower turns on, answering the question of where he is. Instead of stressing about it, I turn out the lights and climb into bed.

Chapter Four

Spencer

B
racing my hands
on the wall, I drop my head and let the water flow over my head and shoulders. I don’t know what came over me when Brenna said she threw a spatula at Lexi for checking out Tucker. I didn’t even know her then, why should it matter? Hell, why should it matter now? She’s not mine so I shouldn’t be feeling the slightest bit of jealously right now, but I did.

It’s like my head and body are at war with each other. The walls around my heart are cracking with each one of her smiles. Each hour that passes, the crack gets a little longer and a little wider. More than anything, I want to get to know her better and see where this could go, but then I think about what I walked in on two years ago. I completely shut back my emotions, to keep from allowing the pain to come through.

I tell myself that Lexi isn’t Tessa, but I can’t seem to let my guard down. It doesn’t help seeing Brenna and Tucker together. Their love is undeniable, an instant connection between the two of them. It makes me realize that isn’t what I had with Tessa. The way I feel around Lexi is nothing like what I felt around my ex. Do I really know what love is? Had I really loved Tessa?

After washing up, I shut off the water, step out of the shower, and dry off quickly before putting on my shorts. To be honest, I’m more than a little worried about sharing the bed with Lexi. It’s not like I’ve never slept beside a woman before, but she’s different. This pull I feel towards her is undeniable and scary. I want to explore it further and run far away at the same time.

Once I open the bathroom door, I notice the light is off in her room. Thinking she may already be asleep, I try to be as quiet as I can as I walk over toward her bed. Just the thought of getting in there with her has my heart racing. When I pull back the cover and slide under them her scent hits me. This night is going to be a test of my willpower.

“Can I ask you something, Spencer?” She asks softly.

She is lying on her side facing away from me. With the lights off maybe I can answer whatever she throws at me.

“Sure.”

“What did she do to you?”

Okay, maybe I can’t answer whatever she throws at me
.

I thought I was prepared for questions, but I didn’t expect this would be one of them. Playing dumb I take a deep breath and answer her. “Who?”

“The girl that took your smile away. Whatever she did, it must have been huge. It’s definitely left its mark on you.”

I don’t say anything in response. I can’t. She sees too much. Besides, Tucker, no one has asked me about her in the entire two years I’ve been here.

“Look, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I would like to know someday, maybe not now, but when you’re ready to talk about it.”

“It’s not something I talk about, ever. Maybe someday I will, but not today.”

Silence fills the room. She’s quiet for so long that I think she’s asleep before she finally responds. “Like I said, whenever you’re ready, I will be here to listen.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to relive that night. I appreciate that she isn’t pushing me to talk about it and that she is offering to listen when I’m ready. Not many people are like that, but that’s the problem. Lexi doesn’t seem to be like most people I’ve ever known. She appears to be one of those people that go with the flow. I wish I could be more like her.

“What about you?” I ask, taking the focus off me and put it on her.

“What about me?”

“Anyone ever take away your smile?”

“No. I’ve never been in love before, so no one has ever had that power over me.”

Wait, what?
How has this beautiful woman never been in love? “I find that hard to believe.”

She turns over to face me. “I’ve never met anyone that I wanted to hand my heart over to, Spencer. Love is a powerful thing and it’s not something I take for granted. If I ever find someone to love, I will hand them my whole heart for forever and never take it back.”

There is truth and sincerity in her words. She wants that once in a lifetime kind of love that unfortunately, so few ever actually find. Sadly, that’s something I can never offer her. This thought doesn’t sit well with me at all.

“Do you think you will ever find that?” I ask.

“Absolutely, don’t you?”

“No. I don’t know. I guess it’s possible. Look at Tucker. I’ve worked for him for two years and I know the whole history between him and Brenna. When he saw her again a few weeks back, it was the happiest I’d seen him in all that time.”

“They’re so sweet together. I get a toothache just watching them with each other. I really hope they get their happy ever after they deserve it. They’ve waited long enough.” she says.

“Yeah, they have.”

It does give one hope that there’s someone out there made just for you and only you. Someone you can trust with your heart and know they will never be unfaithful.

“We all need someone to love, Spencer. We aren’t meant to always walk alone.”

“Maybe some of us were meant to walk alone.”

Lexi rises up on her elbow and leans over me. Even though the room is dark I feel her eyes on me. My heart starts pounding.

“I hope you don’t really believe that, Spencer. Whatever happened in the past, you have to let it go and move on. You have to forgive and forget and stop living in the past. Don’t let it hold you back from what you want.”

“That’s easier said than done.” I reply.

What she doesn’t understand is that I really wish I could just forget it all and get lost inside her.

She lowers her head and presses her lips to mine softly before she turns back on her side. With her back to me, she whispers, “Goodnight.”

I listen to her breathing as it evens out and sleep claims her. Her words keep playing over and over in my head. Maybe it’s time to face it and move on. Maybe she can help me if we move slowly enough. I just don’t want to be the one to break her heart if I can’t.

* * *

Lexi

The sun is shining brightly through my windows, shooting wide beams of light across the bed. I feel an arm wrapped around my waist.
Spencer
. His deep breathing tells me that he’s still sound asleep. I’m too afraid to move because I don’t want to wake him. Right now, all I want to do is snuggle closer to Spencer and go back to sleep. I want him to wake up just like this.

By our conversation last night, I know that he’s had his heart broken and his trust betrayed. It leads me to believe he was cheated on and that hurts my heart. I know nothing of his past, but that doesn’t stop me from believing that he’s a good guy and didn’t deserve whatever happened. I want to heal him and show him that he’s safe with me. The way I feel right now with him pressed so close to me is something I’ve never felt before. He could very well be the one I’ve held out for. I could love this man, if he’d only let me.

Spencer begins to stir a little and move against me. I close my eyes pretending to be asleep to see what he does. His arm tightens a little around my waist as he pulls me tighter against him. I can feel his erection pressed against me and it takes everything in me not to rub against him. When his hand moves upward from my stomach and cups my breast, I can no longer be still.

My body is tingling all over. I begin throbbing between my legs, shooting delicious desire straight down to my core. This man could probably bring on an orgasm without even trying. I’m that affected by his touch. I wiggle my butt against him, pushing myself even closer. I hear a low groan come from him as his lips touch the back of my neck.

“Good morning,” he says softly and I wonder how long he’s been awake. He hasn’t pulled away yet so I am left to believe he’s okay with how he woke up.

“Good morning yourself,” I’m a little breathless and can’t stop the moan that escapes as he squeezes the breast he’s holding.

“What time is it?”

Looking over at the clock on my nightstand, “8:15 am, why?”

“We’re supposed to meet Brenna and Tucker in a little bit.”

Damn! I almost forgot that we were supposed to get breakfast and then go help Brenna and Tucker move. I’m not ready to get up yet though. I want to lay right here, just like this, and see what he does next.

“Yeah, we are, but I don’t want to move.”

He laughs lightly and moves his hand off my breast, trailing his fingers across my stomach causing me to shiver. Then he moves away from me. I miss the heat and press of his body against mine instantly. I’m so not ready for this weekend to be over. I need more time with him.

His hand connects with my shoulder as he pushes gently down. I’m on my back now looking up at him. He doesn’t move any closer as he looks down at me. His beautiful eyes are touching every inch of my face, like he’s committing it to memory. He reminds me so much of an artist and I wonder if he draws.

“We have to get up, you know,” he says as he leans a little closer, “even though I’d rather stay right here too.”

His lips touch mine and butterflies begin fluttering in my stomach. Just that simple touch affects me so much. He doesn’t linger long before he pulls away. There’s heat in his eyes and know he’s as affected as I am, yet he’s holding back. I know now is not the time to push him, one day soon he will lose that control. I plan on being there when he does.

“I better get dressed,” He says as he gets up out of bed. Lifting my head, I watch him walk out of the room and then I crash back against the bed. I’m going to bust down those walls surrounding him, brick by brick if I have to.

Chapter Five

Spencer

W
aking up with
Lexi pressed against me was Heaven and Hell all at once. I knew she wasn’t asleep; she was being too still. I pull her tighter against me, knowing she can feel my erection against her ass. I couldn’t help myself as I ran my hand from her waist up to cup her breast.
Yep, that got her attention.
Yes, holding her is Heaven.

The Hell of it was that my dick is harder than it has ever been before and there is nothing I can do about it for a couple reasons. One, we didn’t have time and two, I didn’t know if I was ready to take that step with her. I have a feeling that sex with Lexi will be more than a one-time thing. This girl could very well knock down all the barriers I’ve built to protect myself. She’s already knocked a big ass crack in it.

Her rubbing against me isn’t helping my hard-on at all, but it feels so damn good that I can’t contain a groan. I place a kiss on the back of her neck before telling her, “Good Morning.” I could easily get lost in Lexi. That scares the shit out of me, but I can’t seem to pull myself away. No matter how much I think I can’t do this with her, my body has other ideas. After releasing her breast and I trail my fingers down her stomach. Nudging her shoulder to press her in to the bed, I lean in close and tell her we have to go, even though I’d like nothing more than to stay right here and have my way with her.

I’m letting my body rule my head right now. When I press my lips to hers, heat shoots through my body and I know I have to back away now, before this goes any further. I can tell by looking at her, that she has no objections to staying right here, but she doesn’t push either. That’s one thing I’ve found I really like about her, she seems to go with the flow.

It doesn’t take us long to get ready, grab breakfast for everyone, and get back to Brenna’s apartment. After we finish eating, Tucker and I break down the bed and load the furniture, before loading boxes into his truck. When it was time to leave, Lexi said she was going too to help us unload. That was definitely okay by me, because it gave us more time to get to know each other. I knew Tucker was grinning at me because I couldn’t hold my smile in, but I didn’t care.

The whole ride back, all I could think about was how she felt against me this morning. The way heat shoots through me when we kiss, and how I can’t seem to just blow her off like the ones before her. Her walking around in yoga pants and a tight tank top all day didn’t help matters either. All I could think about was how that ass felt pressed against my groin. How perfectly she fit against me.

I’m not ready to tell her about Tessa, not sure I’ll ever be ready to relive that night. What would she think if she knew my ex had sex with my own fucking brother? Would she think I wasn’t a good guy, that I deserved what they did to me? That night still haunts me. I have spent the last two years trying to answer those questions myself.

No longer wanting to dwell on the past or the present, I reach over and turn on the radio. I knew it would be on a country station because this is Tucker’s truck, after all. I was about to change the station when they announced next up was Gary Allan. I like him so I leave the channel alone.
Every Storm
begins to come through the speakers and for the first time I listen to all the lyrics.

I’ve heard this song before, but I didn’t want to believe there was anything left after the pain of heartbreak. Now I take the time to really take in the words of the song. Seems meeting Lexi has given me reason to hope that his lyrics are true. After the song ends, I leave the radio station there. I mean who knows more about heartbreak and relationship than country singers? Whether it’s good or bad, they have a song for it.

Close to two hours later, I’m backing up to Tucker’s deck and we are unloading everything. He doesn’t ask any questions while we set back up the bed in his spare room. I’m glad because I don’t have any answers. All I know is that I want to get done and spend a little more time with Lexi. I’ve been waiting all day to get my hands back on her.

My chance comes not long after, when Tucker goes out to light the grill and then heads back in the house, Brenna following behind him shortly after. Lexi hasn’t said anything to me since we got here. I watch as she stands and walks over to the railing, hopping up on it. She’s staring up at the sky when I walk over to her and step in between her legs.

“Hey,” she whispers when her eyes meet mine.

“Hey.” My hands run up the sides of her legs and around her waist.

Lexi’s hands running up my chest and around my neck before she leans in and kisses me. I have been waiting since this morning for this. When I run my tongue across the seam of her lips she opens without delay. It’s like we have kissed like this a million times before instead of just once. There is no awkwardness between us. And all too soon I hear Brenna’s voice behind us, asking Tucker if he had any popcorn and I jumped away from her like I was a teen just caught by my parents.

Guess I will need to make that up to her later.

We ate supper with Brenna and Tucker before I ask Lexi if she cares to give me a ride to my house. It’s getting late and she probably should head back to Louisville soon. Unless… she wants to stay at my house and drive back tomorrow.
Now, that’s an idea
.

* * *

Lexi

At first, I hadn’t planned on following them up here, but when it was time to go, I wasn’t ready for the day to be over. I’m not willing to let him go just yet. For some reason, I had this fear that if I did that, I may never see him again. That is a chance I knew I couldn’t take. I spent the whole drive up here thinking about what I wanted from him and what made him different.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out the answer to either. All I know is there is something different about Spencer Jacobs. I’ve never wanted more with any guy I’ve met before. There’s something between us that is undeniable; I want more with him. Of course, I would have to want this with the one guy who is emotionally damaged by something in his past.

I replayed everything over in my mind from the moment we met. I know he feels something too, but will he act on it or let it pass by. If I only knew what haunted him then maybe I could help him. I don’t know what I can do or say to show him that I’m not the same as the girl who broke him. He needs to heal and move on from whatever it is and I plan on being the person to help him.

Sitting outside at Tucker and Brenna’s, I was so lost in my head trying to figure out a way to get him to talk without pushing him away, that I didn’t even realize he had moved from his spot on the deck until he stepped between my legs. I didn’t wait for him to make the next move, before I kissed him. I feel like this is a give and take and I am taking all he will give. I’ll also give him whatever he’s willing to take.

I could have sat there and kissed him all night, but of course karma is a bitch and she’s paying me back in the form of Brenna and Tucker. I almost laughed when Spencer jumped away like he was in trouble. We spent the next few hours eating, talking, and laughing together and I was content being there with these three people. I was also very happy when Tucker decided this was to be an every weekend thing.

Taking Spencer home, I realize Brenna wasn’t shitting me when she said they lived close. His house isn’t quite as big as Tucker’s, but just as far off the road. It looks perfect for him. I should have guessed he’d live in a log cabin; it fits him.

“This fits you,” I tell him as I park my car. I don’t turn off the ignition or make a move to get out because I want him to invite me in.

“So, how long have you lived here?”

“Right at two years.”

Spencer reaches over and turns off my ignition before getting out of the car. I guess that is his way of asking me to stay. I open my door and get out following behind him as he opens the door and motions me on inside.

“You know you could have said ‘Hey, Lexi. You wanna come in’.”

“Worked, didn’t it?”

I can’t help but grin at him, because yeah it did. He is too damn sexy for my own good and probably his too. “That work often for you?”

Spencer grins at me and it does funny things to my insides. I can’t wait to see a full smile. I bet when it happens, my panties will burst into flame. Victoria and her secret will be making loads of money off of me if he always has this affect.

“Well, let’s see… it worked the only time I’ve tried it, so I guess ask me that again next time,” he says chuckling.

“What if I’m not here the next time?” I asked in a flirty sarcastic tone.

Yeah, I know I am fishing here, but hey I want some kind of reassurance that I’m not the only one feeling this way.

“Come on,” he says while sitting down on the couch.

When I go to sit on the end opposite him, he reaches out and gently grasps my wrist pulling me down beside him, causing my heart to start fluttering in my chest. His hand goes to my hair, pulling the holder out and letting my hair fall about my shoulders. Then his fingers gently run through my hair.

“So what happens after you graduate?” he asks while looking straight in my eyes.

“I’m not sure yet. I could teach art or try the sell my work.” I shrug because I have no idea what I want to do yet.

“Have you ever showed your work?”

“I will be this summer. I’m going to an art show in Tennessee.”

“Sounds like fun,” He replies.

His body tenses just enough for me to notice, and then his hand tightens in my hair, slightly tugging it. I have to take a deep breath just to hold in the groan that wants to come out.

“You could go with me, if you want.”

“Maybe.”

Well that’s better than a no.

That was also the end of our conversation. Spencer used his grip in my hair to turn my head to face him. Our mouths meet and it wasn’t a sweet “hi, nice to meet you” kiss. It was a “I want you naked now” kinda kiss. Before I know what hit me, I’m straddling his waist with my hands on each side of his head.

He doesn’t release my hair as he devours my mouth. His other hand is running down my back to my hip and back up. We kiss for what feels like hours and I’m crazy with desire. His hand slips under the waist band of my pants and grip one bare butt cheek. Spencer groans and then his mouth leaves mine and my head is pulled back exposing my neck to him.

Spencer runs his tongue down my throat to my collar bone. He pulls my lower body closer to his connecting our centers together, and now it’s me that’s groaning. I press closer to him and began to rock my hips against him. He squeezes my ass hard again, before taking his hand to push up my shirt and expose my breasts to him. He fondles one breast in his hand while taking the nipple of the other in his mouth. I’m about to come just from this.

“Spencer,” I pant out his name, my breath is heaving in and out of my lungs. I’m surprised I got that much out.

“Yeah?” He says against my breast as he runs his tongue around my nipple.

“More.”

That’s it, that’s all I can say. I feel so needy and know he’s the only one that can put out this fire he’s started. I let go of his head and start tugging at his shirt, I want to feel his skin against mine. He releases me long enough to get it over his head. We probably shouldn’t be doing this yet, but damn, I can’t seem to stop. I want more; I need more. I stand up to kick off my shoes and push my yoga pants down, leaving me in nothing but my thong. Spencer stands up in front of me looking down, his eyes searching mine. I guess whatever he found there was enough for him. He kisses me hard and deep and the next thing I know I’m hoisted over his shoulder and he’s moving, hopefully heading toward his bedroom.

I run my hands down his naked back into the waist band of his jeans, before I reach my destination. Suddenly, he’s moving me off his shoulder and onto the bed. On my knees facing him, I reach for the button on his jeans and push them down. He kicks them off as he begins pulling my thong down around my hips and pushes me back, pulling them down my legs. He then opens his bedside drawer and pulls out a condom before he comes down over me.

I reach for the hand the foil package is in and take it from him. I’m not giving him time to have second thoughts and I hope he doesn’t regret this tomorrow. Tearing the foil packet open I reach down to cover his very impressive and hard cock with it, while latching my mouth back to his. As soon as my hands release him, I begin running my fingernails over his back. Spencer thrusts hard into me, taking my breath away as he fills me completely. Arching my back off the bed, my chest presses against his and we move together fast and hard, each thrust releasing more desire throughout my body.

Holy hell, I may actually die from pleasure
.