Someone to Watch Over Me (44 page)

The guy was a keeper. I wasn’t impressed
with the price tags on the things he bought, as much as the items
in general. Really. Think about it. It wasn’t often men knew what
would make their spouse feel truly human again when they were
feeling the farthest from it.

‘
You’re insane and thoughtful. I can’t
believe you bought all of this
.’

“Only the best for the mother of my
children.”

Wrong choice of words.

My smile faded. I felt as if my lungs
collapsed in my chest. Tears blurred my vision. Damn, I had been
keeping it together, but the end of my rope had just unraveled.

“Cooper, what’s wrong?”

I managed to tap out a short, ‘
I’m
sorry
,’ and then wiped feverishly at the tears in my eyes.

“Sorry for what, babe?” Solicitously, he sat
on the edge of the bed, brushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

‘
The baby
.’

“The baby’s fine. What about the baby?”

‘
The baby’s fine
?’ This was news to
me,
good news
, but I really didn’t understand.

“Perfect. Healthy. Why would you think
otherwise?”

‘
I asked the nurse about the baby, and
she said that you wanted to be the one to tell me, and then she ran
out of the room
.’

“And you thought…Oh, Jesus.” Tate pushed a
hand through his hair, made it stand up on end. “God, Coop, I’m
sorry. I was wondering why you hadn’t asked about it. It’s so
unlike you to be unconcerned.”

Disconcerted though relieved, I rubbed my
eyes, hiding beneath my lids. ‘
I’m so stupid
.’ I felt like
an idiot.

“You’re not stupid, Coop. You were on
sedatives and opioids.”

‘
You let them give me opioids?
’ I was
pregnant for God’s sake. I couldn’t take opioids.

“Rightfully.”

‘
Tate
!’

“Don’t make me take that back,” Tate warned,
gesturing to the tablet in my hands. “There’s no reason for you to
suffer needlessly, Cooper. The risk of side effects is low.”

After a brief standoff, I admitted defeat. I
was in no place to argue. He would do as he pleased, because in his
kind and beautiful head, he was doing what was best for me, and
admittedly, fighting with him was exhausting. I didn’t have the
energy, mentally or physically.

Tate’s eyes glinted, disappeared behind his
smile.

‘
I know I can’t argue with you, but you
don’t have to gloat
.’

“I’m not gloating! God, Cooper, you’re hurt
and in pain… It’s just… Can I give you your last gift now?”

‘
I’d say no but you’d do it anyhow
.’
I ceded; I never said I wouldn’t sulk. Besides, he
was
gloating.

Tate paid me no mind and reached into the
bag one last time. He pulled out two black onesies. Each had an
ultrasound image silkscreened to the front. The one in his left
hand read, “I’m the one on the right.” It pointed to one of two
distinct fetuses. The one in his left hand read, “I’m the one on
the left.” It pointed to the other of the two small fetuses.

My thumbs hammered frantically at the keys.
‘
This is a joke, right
?’

“No.” Tate smiled proudly. “They’re both
healthy. Heartbeats are strong.”

‘
Really
?’

Tate’s smile widened. “Really.”

‘
Oh
.
My
.
God
.’ Tears
once again sprung from my eyes. ‘
If you’re lying, I’m going to
kick your ass
.’

“No lie,” he promised, sitting on the edge
of the bed again. He picked up my hand, caressed my knuckles with
the pad of his thumb. “This is good, right?”

I gave the tiniest nod. We hadn’t planned to
get pregnant, let alone twins, but I’d take it. Lord all mighty, I
thought I’d lost the baby. Now, I felt doubly blessed.
Twins
…I was going to have
twins
!

“Then stop crying before I get kicked out of
here. Besides, all of that,” he gestured to the tears and red nose,
“isn’t allowed. Doctor’s orders.”

True that. I couldn’t blow my nose, sniffle,
clear my throat or cough. I was breaking all the rules by crying.
Tate handed me a few tissues from the bed stand. I used them to
wipe my face. They were otherwise useless. I balled them up in my
hand, suppressing the desire to put them to further use. It was
worse than trying not to scratch that itch after painting your
nails.

Lifting the onesie for a better look, I
mentally shook my head. ‘
Twins
.’

“It explains why you’ve been so tired.”

‘
Exhausted. Have you told
anyone
?’

“No, babe, being the mother and all, I
thought you should know first.” He lifted my hand, brushed his lips
across my knuckles. “We’ll tell everyone together.”

He
would tell everyone;
I
would be listening. Stealing my hand back, unintentionally, I
fiddled with the tablet.

“You’ll talk again, Cooper. I promise.”

‘
I didn’t miscarry. I won’t push my
luck
.’

“This isn’t a negotiation. You don’t have to
choose one over the other.”

He was perceptive, but he was wrong. I knew
the way providence worked. I’d been making bargains all my life. I
compromised my college degree to have Grant out of my life. God
didn’t own up on that one. I said I’d give up men if the morning
sickness would go away. God didn’t own up on that one either. I
even offered my uterus as long as Levy came out healthy and alive.
I figured God gifted me doubly for that one since he missed the
other two. Everything in life was a compromise. Those few hadn’t
been my first, and they certainly hadn’t been my last.

“Look at me,” Tate demanded. At the tone of
his voice, my gaze lifted, met his eyes. “This is my fault. If
there’s a price to pay, it’s mine.”

‘
It wasn’t your fault
.’

“I slept with her, Cooper. Not recently, but
I have, and more than once.”

‘
I really don’t want to know about your
past sex capades, thank you. And, honestly, it’s irrelevant. You’re
no more responsible for her actions than I am for Grant’s. It’s not
your fault
.’

“If it’s not my fault, then why is the price
yours to pay?”

‘
Ok, so my line of thinking is a little
warped! It’s just something I do, like a mental tally I keep
between me and God
.’

“How is that working out for you?”

‘
I have Levy and now I have you
.’ I
grasped Tate’s large hand, watched his eyes soften.

“I really don’t deserve you,” he swore. “I
meant it when I said that you were out of my league.”

‘
You have a poor self-image
.’

“She—Amanda—has been arrested, Cooper. For
attempted murder. But convicting her won’t be that easy. Her family
has money. She’ll have good lawyers. They’ll try to get it reduced
to aggravated assault. We’ll have to testify.
I’ll
have to
testify. My past will be put on view. They’ll try to discredit me
by tearing me apart. It could get ugly.”

‘
I’m not running
.’

“You might want to. I’ve used women pretty
badly.”

‘
I’m sure they’re all affronted by the
fact
.’ Closing my eyes, I reclined the bed. I was beginning to
ache a little bit everywhere, though I’d never admit it.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not ashamed.” Standing,
Tate smoothed the sheets and pulled the blanket over me. “I
wouldn’t even remember her name if the police didn’t remind
me.”

‘
I’m heartbroken over that
.’

“Cooper.”

‘
I can be civil about the women in your
past until they shank me, Tate. If you didn’t say her name again,
I’d
—’

“We can talk about this later,” Tate spoke
over my British, monotone voice. “You’re tired and in pain. You
need to sleep.”

‘
Only tired. Not in pain
.’

“Liar.” Reaching for the pain pump, he
pushed the button, delivered a dose of morphine into my veins.

‘
I can’t believe you just did that! I
feel betrayed, by the way, in case you can’t hear it in my
voice
.’

“The babies will be fine.”

‘
Judas
.’

As with the last time, the effects were
swift. My head swam. My vision wavered in and out of focus. Tate
tried to take the tablet from me, but I held fast.

“You need to sleep, Coop. I’ll be here when
you wake up.”

‘
But I just woke up
.’

Weirdly, I began to see this network of
illuminations, sort of like the veins of light when the country’s
lit up at night. But if I looked closely enough, at each juncture,
stood a ghostly figure. If I disrupted one vein, I could follow the
reverberations to those around them.

“What’re you doing, babe?” Tate asked,
sounding faintly amused. “I don’t know what you’re reaching for,
but there’s nothing there.”

‘
You should see what I’m seeing, Tate. My
consciousness is expanding exponentially
.’

“It’s the drugs. You’re hallucinating.”

‘
See how bad for me they are
?’

“Go to sleep, Coop.”

‘
Did it ever cross your mind that maybe
this is just a small part of the bigger picture
?’

Sighing, Tate sat down, aware that I wasn’t
giving in. “How so?”

‘
Life. It’s just a big complicated web of
related events
.’

“Oh?”

‘
Roll your pants up; shits about to get
deep
.’

“Oh boy.”

‘
I’m just saying that maybe you’ve
objectified women because you subconsciously held some deep-seated
resentment over your mother for leaving
.’

“I’m pretty sure I just liked sex a
lot.”

‘
Come on, Tate, admit it. Don’t you think
my injuries are ironic considering her occupation
?’

“She could’ve easily been an obstetrician, a
speech therapist, a plastic surgeon or one of a million nurses that
have cared for you so far. It’s all a coincidence.”

‘
The babies are healthy
,’ I reminded
him. ‘
I didn’t need an obstetrician, and the nurse will come
into play when the time is right. Now focus and open your eyes. I’m
trying to tell you something important here. Our paths crossed for
a reason
.’ I could see that now. It was so very clear.

“So that I could make amends with my
mother.”

‘
Yes, but that’s only a small part of the
picture, it’s a ripple in the web. My God, Tate, you should see it.
We’re all tied together. Carter, Em, Mattie, Jake, Shane, even your
mom and dad, we’ve forged their destinies. It’s like a butterfly
effect caused by our love
…’

“You’re high as a kite, Cooper. Try and get
some sleep.”

‘
Your father’s right. Sometimes you need
a slap in the face
.’ That’s when I dropped the tablet, which
landed on the much-detested trach tube protruding from my
throat.

Chapter
23

“C
ooper, would you
relax?” Tate pleaded, pressing a hand on my knee to keep it from
bouncing impatiently. “You’re giving me angina. I think I actually
need an antacid.”

‘
I’ve been walking laps around this place
for three weeks
,’ I objected. ‘
I just think it’s ridiculous
that I have to ride in a wheelchair now that I’m
leaving.’

“Hospital rules,” he explained. “If you fall
on the way out…”

‘
It’ll be my own ineptitude
.’

“Said the one who dropped her tablet on her
trach tube,” Carter pointed out, hiding a frown behind his hand. I
don’t remember the incident, but I had no reason to doubt Tate’s
story. Every time I closed my eyes, yawned or stretched my arms, he
took the device away from me.

‘
Tate gave me opioids
.’

“Just saying with your track record,” Carter
pressed, “maybe you should take the wheelchair.”

I huffed and looked away.

I knew I should’ve been thankful. I was
lucky.
Extremely
lucky. I lost only partial use of my left
vocal cord, sort of. Dr. Watkins surmised, though couldn’t say for
certain that it had always been weak due to a childhood illness,
but it would explain the cause of my throatiness. This didn’t
bother me a bit. It was my natural voice. Honestly, I was happy to
know I would talk again. However, as my doctor, she urged me to
consider corrective surgery, if not to improve my pitch and volume,
then to prevent strain from compensating. I would have to return
occasionally for a checkup. It was possible that the damaged nerve
could regenerate, so I needed to give my body some time to heal,
before we could decide whether surgery was necessary.

Despite my promising recovery, I was
crawling out of my own skin. I’d been cooped up in the hospital for
just under three weeks. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed fresh
air. I needed socialization. I was bored and frustrated. I wanted
to scream. I wanted to cry.

“Carter, can you manage getting these
downstairs on your own?” Tate gestured to our bags. Carter’s gaze
flicked back and forth from Tate to me and back again. He shook his
head disapprovingly and began to load the bags onto his arms and
shoulders.

“You’re going to get caught. The nurses
station is right outside.”

“Technically, we won’t be breaking any
rules. She’s not walking.”

“See you outside then.” Loaded like a pack
mule, Carter went out the door.

Tate turned to me and held his arms out.
“Let’s blow this joint.”

I smiled triumphantly and stepped toward
him, letting him lift me into his arms. ‘
Just watch my head this
time
.’

“Babe, that door was two feet wide. It was
an accident.” Nevertheless, he took extra care maneuvering me
through the open door. Upon our emergence, the nurses all looked
up, smiled and giggled behind their hands, but made no move to
hinder our rash departure. Tate leaned closer to my ear. “The perks
of being famous.”