Something About Milan: A Complicated Love Story (4 page)

Chapter Eight

Wise

Milan played the fuck out of me, and she did it in front of everybody. I was tired of the emotional shit that came along with fucking with her. I cared to much and she made me feel like a sucka’ ass nigga every time I ended up expecting too much from her. Quite frankly, I didn't even know why I kept trying to fuck with her. I thought she had finally woken up, but I was wrong. I'm too old to be playing these childish ass games with her. I let out a sigh as I walked into my crib. All the lights were out which meant that my girlfriend, Sasha, and my daughter was sleep. 

Sasha and I had been on the outs for the past two years. She started pulling away and I let her. My heart wasn’t there and I knew that I wasn’t trying to wife her. I had been with her for close to six years and she was good with my daughter, so I kept her around. I had Melanie since she was a couple of weeks old. Me and her mom decided that it was best that I kept her. I was a dog for no reason at all back in the day, and it caused me to lose the best thing to ever happen to me.

I had to force myself to push the drama with these females to the back of my head as I thought about Jabari. I would look like a clown if I let him get away with pointing a gun at me. I worked too hard to create my position in these streets, and I’ll be damned if I allowed a nigga to think that he could get down on me.

I walked into the living room, and relaxed on the couch. Then, I began to pull on the hairs of my beard. For some reason, Milan kept running through my mind. 

I thought about the day that I first met her. She was a sophomore in high school and I was a senior. All the niggas in the school were checkin’ for her. I swear, she was the flyest ma’fucka up in that bitch, and I was that nigga, so it was only right that I snatched her ass up.

Being that Carter had just put me on, I was getting hella’ money and all the little broads used to sweat me, so I was used to them gold diggin’ broads. But Milan was different. Her people had money… a whole lot of that shit, so my paper was nothing to her.

We just clicked on some other shit; our chemistry was crazy. Milan was my baby. But, I was young and dumb back then. It was too many broads throwing the pussy at me. She couldn’t take it and she dipped on my ass. The day she left was the worst day of my life. The look on her face told me that I had lost her for good.

Fuck! I needed to get her out of my system. But how could I when she was Melanie's mother, and looking into my daughter's face was like looking at Milan every day. Melanie was ten now and she was starting to look just like her ass. She made the same faces and all. That's what pissed me off, I had her heart first, yet she was continuing to put punk ass Jabari before me!

Chapter Nine

Milan

When we got to the house, I had forgotten that I cut up and bleached all of Jabari's shit. So I was just as surprised as he was when we walked into the mess. The smell of bleach was still strong in the air.

Jabari shot me daggers. "You fucked my shit up? I'm gone kill yo' ass!" He stalked toward me and I took off running to the bathroom. I was happy that his speed was slowed down from that ass whooping that he took.

I made it to the bathroom and locked the door. Seconds later, he began to beat on it. 'Don't run now, open this damn door Milan!" He yelled.

"No! Gone somewhere Jabari!" I yelled back, leaning against the wall and sliding to the ground.

Jabari slammed his fist into the door with so much force that I’m surprised it didn’t create a hole, then I heard footsteps. I began to sigh, thinking about the bullshit that I went through with him. I was so sick of the cheating, the disrespect, and having to take care of his grown ass after all the bullshit. It wasn’t worth it. I truly loved Jabari, but the headache was way too much. He wasn’t the same man that I fell in love with before he went to prison.

It was never this bad with Wise. He hurt me, but he always made sure that home was taken care of. Hell, he was my best friend and I had been missing our companionship so much lately.

Jabari had only been home for a year now, and it was hell. I had fallen for Wise all over again in the time that he was locked up. Wise changed, he had grown up from the little boy that I dated over a decade ago and I adored the way that he took care of Melanie without holding my faults against me. But, it was always about punk ass Jabari! I hated the way my loyalty was set up.

After a few minutes, I finally decided to leave out of the bathroom, thinking that Jabari had calmed down. I opened the door and made my way down the hallway toward my bedroom. It seemed as if Jabari came out of nowhere. His huge frame jumped in my face, with those dark eyes, and my heart nearly left my chest, as he grabbed me up and slammed me against the wall.

"Oh you owe me for real now. So what the fuck is it gone be? Are you going to get this nigga, or am I going to have to fuck both of y'all up?" Jabari asked, gripping me by my shirt, as he spoke through gritted teeth. 
I had never seen this side of him and it was starting to scare me.
A tear slid down my face, yet again. I had been doing a lot of crying today and I was emotionally drained.

 "Why are you doing me like this, Jabari? And what did Wise ever do to you to be pointing guns at him, and wanting to rob him?" I regretted mentioning Wise’s name the moment those words left my lips. The look Jabari gave me spoke volumes. He gripped me tighter and pressed his knuckles into my chest.

"You still taking up for that fuck nigga, Milan?" He asked, bawling up his fist and punching the wall beside me. I jumped, then calmed down a bit when I realized that he hit the wall instead of me.

"No, I'm not taking up for him! I just want you to think about what you want me to do. Wise isn't just some random nigga on the streets. He has a whole army behind him!" I tried reasoning with Jabari. I wanted to add in the fact that Wise was my baby father and that I loved him. But Jabari would kill my ass for real. Melanie was a secret that I had to keep locked away until I finally found the strength to leave.

A part of me began to wonder where I had fucked up in life to end up with such bad choices in men. I would have never guessed that Jabari was a fucking lunatic. I should have been left him like Wise used to tell me. I always thought that Wise just said slick shit about Jabari because he was jealous. Plus, with the way that Wise used to lie and cheat on me, his credibility wasn’t the best.

"Fuck Wise and his people! That's why yo' ass gone make him let his guard down and I'm gone handle his punk ass from there." He rubbed his swollen lip, releasing his grip from my shirt. "You know, I always knew that nigga was feeling you. I saw the look in his eyes. But, I thought you was a loyal bitch. I would have never thought that you would fuck with him." He looked at me disgustedly, but I didn't pay him no mind. I was just glad that he let me go, and now I was going to say anything, just to shut his crazy ass up. However, I knew that I had to get the hell away from him.

“Ok, I’ll do it. I don’t want to fight with you Jabari.” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair to move it out of my face. “You’re scaring me.” I added truthfully.

“Yo’ ass need to be scared. Obviously you done lost yo’ damn mind, smiling all up in that man’s face, and you went into the back room with him. Did you fuck him?” Jabari growled, reaching at my dress. He pulled me to him and tried lifting it.

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. “What are you doing Jabari? Stop!” I swatted his hand away.

“Did you fuck him, Milan? Did you give him my pussy?” He asked, using his strength to overpower me. He ripped my panties off, and snatched up my dress.

“No!” I shrieked. “I’m not a hoe. I haven’t fucked no one else since we’ve been together!” Well it was almost the truth. Wise and I slipped up a few times while he was locked up, but that was it. With Jabari being gone for four years, Ms. Kitty needed some attention and Wise was saying all the right things, and touching all the right places… physically and mentally. Our chemistry was amazing, but neither of us wanted to cross that bridge again. But, ever since Jabari came back home from prison, he had began to express his feeling, and now he was on some leave your man and let’s be a family type shit.

I was seriously contemplating it. My kids already adored Wise just as much as I did, and I’d give anything to have that mother daughter bond with Melanie.

“Let me smell it then.” Jabari demanded, snapping me from my thoughts, as he kneeled down and placed his face between my legs. Before I knew it, his tongue slid across my clit, causing me to jump. He began to suck on my pearl, and as much as I didn’t want to enjoy it, a moan escaped my lips that I couldn’t control. “My bad baby. You know you make me crazy. I love the fuck out of you, and once we hit this lick, we gone be set forever. You’ll never have to worry about shit!” He whispered into my sweetness, using his tongue to create magic between my thighs.

My emotions were all over the place, and Jabari wasn’t fighting fair. His head game was lethal and he knew it. Gosh! I’m so stupid, but I couldn’t turn back now.

How could I let Jabari finesse me into not caring about the fact that he had another baby on me? How could I allow him to think that everything was okay? A moan escaped my lips, as a tingling sensation began to flow through my body. His tongue was pressed firm on my clit, and he began to sloppily suck on it. I was never going to get away from Jabari’s hold!

***

Jabari fucked me to sleep and I woke up the next morning entangled in his arms. I stared at him, taking in his caramel skin as he slept. There was no secret that Jabari was fine as hell. I mean, the site of him would get any woman wet, yet his ways were ugly and I couldn't help the frown that spread across my face. I wanted to take the lamp next to me on the nightstand and smash it across his head. I hated him so much, yet I loved him just as much. 

I needed to get away to clear my head. Jabari was going to have me going crazy. I tip-toed around the room, grabbing a couple of outfits, careful not to make too much noise. I was going to go to my mother's house for a few days, and I needed to call Wise too.

He was on my mind all night, and if Jabari's crazy ass hadn't of held me hostage, I would have been able to call him and at least apologize. He just didn't understand my situation, and he never would as long as I wasn’t with him.

"Where you going?" Jabari's groggy voice startled me. I looked back and he was stretching, trying to get up. "Fuck!" He groaned. "My body sore as fuck. Go get me a Tylenol out the cabinet," Jabari demanded. 

I studied him for a second before putting my bag over my shoulder and walking out of the room. I told him that I would get the Tylenol, but fuck this, I wasn't getting Jabari shit. This was my escape. I grabbed my purse and car keys, then I eased out of the house with the quickness.

I knew that Jabari was going to be pissed, but I didn't care. He wasn't thinking right. I didn't know the crazy ass Jabari that I left back in the house, and I didn't like the new him one bit.

As soon as I pulled out the driveway, I called Wise. He sent me to the voicemail, so I dialed him again. I didn't know what I wanted to say to him, but I needed to hear his voice.

Six calls later, he finally answered. "Why you keep calling my fucking phone Milan? Go be with that punk ass nigga that fuck over you and leave me the hell alone. You don't want a nigga to treat you right!"

I sighed, "You know that's not true, Wise. I care about you!"

I heard him kiss his teeth. "Man, you don't care about nobody but yo'self. That's why Melanie walking around without a mother."

Wise's words cut deep. He had never thrown that in my face. "That was low. You know that I would have taken her if I could do it by myself. I was sixteen, Wise!" I yelled, getting choked up. I wanted to tell him about me leaving Jabari, and that I finally wanted us. But he was being so evil that I couldn't form the words. There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"My bad Milan. You know I would never throw that in your face. But, let’s stop pretending. Just go be happy with that nigga. Let me move on. I can't keep setting myself up for failure." With that, he hung up, and I cried like a baby. Wise didn't want me anymore!

Chapter Ten

Wise

“Daddy, I’m bored.” Melanie sighed, plopping down next to me. I looked at her and smiled. My daughter was gorgeous, just like her mother. She had my eyes and nose, but everything else was all Milan. “Are you gone leave me here with Sasha, again?” She rolled her eyes.

Damn, she was feisty just like Milan’s ass too. This shit was hard. I told Milan to leave me alone, but I didn't want that shit. I wanted her so fucking bad, but she played too many games.

“Why you say it like that?” I chuckled. The older Melanie got, the more her and Sasha bumped heads. “You better stop doing Sasha like that. She loves you.”

“No she don’t.” Melanie shook her head. “She be trying to whoop me for everything! I can’t do nothing!” 

I instantly caught an attitude. Sasha knew that I didn’t play about my fucking daughter. She didn’t have no business putting her hands on her.

“I’m gone talk to her baby. Daddy don’t like that.” I told Melanie, taking my hand and ruffling her hair. Sasha just didn’t know, I’d drop her ass with the quickness and not think twice.

“Can you just drop me off over my granny’s house. I don’t want you to talk to Sasha. She gon’ be meaner” 

I promised Melanie that I wouldn’t say anything, then I told her to get dressed so I could drop her off to my mother. As I watched her scurry off, my face instantly tightened. Sasha and  had agreed that she wouldn’t discipline Melanie physically. She was supposed to come to me if there was an issue and I would handle it from there. I knew that Melanie could be a bit much at times, but I knew how to deal with her as well.

Fuck keeping quiet, I was planning on going the fuck off on Sasha. The only reason she was around was to help with Melanie. What the fuck did I need her for if she wasn’t treating my baby right? Times like this made me hate Milan’s selfish ass. I saw the way that she treated her other kids and my daughter deserved that same motherly love too.

That’s why I had been pressuring her to get her shit together and realize I was that nigga for her lately. When punk ass Jabari was locked up, we was together damn near every day. That shit was amazing. She had my heart in a choke hold, and I’d do anything to wake up to her every morning again. I knew that I fucked up, but how long was she going to punish me… I mean punish us? Our daughter was suffering too. Melanie thought that Milan was her auntie and she loved her. I was just getting used to having my family complete again. Then Jabari brought his snitch bitch ass home, fucking it all up.

I let out a sigh, as my phone began to vibrate. It was Keem calling and I already knew what it was about. He probably wanted to talk about the whole Jabari situation, but it wasn’t shit to talk about. That nigga had to go!

I didn’t answer my phone, instead I made it to the room where Sasha was laid up watching a re-run of Love and Hip Hop. “Hey baby.” She smiled.

“So you be hitting my fucking daughter?” I asked, getting straight to the point. When I met her a few years ago, her and Melanie instantly clicked, and that’s what drew me to her. Now, things seemed so forced. Ever since Milan and I started hanging around each other again, I haven’t been able to look at Sasha the same. She wanted us to be committed like a married couple, yet I couldn’t see myself being with her for the next six months. Things had gotten that bad.

She got to stuttering. “Na…Naw. Why would you say that?”

She sounded guilty as hell.
“So, Melanie making shit up, huh? You should already know not to ever put yo’ hands on that little girl.” I yelled, pointing towards Melanie’s room.

“Wise, she is over exaggerating. I may have popped her when she was being hardheaded. But don’t try to make it seem like I beat your daughter. I do more for her than that bitch that’s supposed to be her mother ever does. Don’t think that I don’t see the way that y'all look at each other.” She snarled, referring to Milan. I hated that I even slipped up and told Sasha that Milan was Melanie's biological mother. She always found a way to bring her name up.

“This ain’t about what you do. If you can’t keep yo’ hands off of my daughter then get the fuck on!”

Sasha looked hurt. She jumped out of the bed. “You know what? Fuck you Wise. You’re not about to keep using me just to take care of your spoiled brat. I ‘m done with this disaster.” She fussed, grabbing her luggage and throwing clothes into the bag.
I watched as she packed, not trying to stop her. Fuck Sasha!

I thought about the argument I had with Milan earlier. She was going to have to step her shit up and be a mother to Melanie. I couldn’t keep making everything convenient for Milan, while I was over here miserable as fuck.

***

Milan

After hanging up with Wise, I felt like shit. Melanie was on my mind  heavy lately, and it didn’t help that Wise threw it in my face that I was basically a bad mother to her. I thought back to the day that I found out that I was pregnant. Wise and I had just gotten into it about one of his random broads that didn’t know how to stay in her place. I was living with him and she showed up. I tried to tear her ass up. Later that night, my stomach got to cramping so bad that I could barely stand up. Wise ended up rushing me to the hospital, where they told me that I was pregnant. I was devastated. Wise and I needed a baby no more than we needed a hole in our head.

Then, there was the day that we had broken up. I caught him cheating with yet another broad, only I actually saw it with my own two eyes. That shattered my soul. My father was just murdered by some dumb nigga that decided he wanted to rob him, while my mother turned to alcohol to cope with the pain. He knew how much pain I was in and he decided to cause me more grief.

I looked up and tears were falling from my face. That was such a dark time in my life. I shook my head to shake away the thoughts. Then I called Chanel, deciding that I didn’t need to be around the kids all depressed.

Just as I was about to dial her number, Wise’s phone number flashed across my screen. I quickly answered it, hoping that he had calmed down.

“Where you at?” He spoke into the phone, not giving me a chance to say hello.

“On my way to my mother’s house. But, listen. I apologize about everything. You shou,”

“I don’t want to talk about all that, Milan.” He cut me off. “What do you plan to do about Melanie? I’m done worrying about your feelings. It ain’t no point in keeping her a secret no more. Yo’ ass is more than able to take care of yo’ daughter.”

“I know, Wise.  Just give me time to sort through the bullshit.” I pleaded. My head was too messed up at the moment, especially with Jabari tripping. Telling everyone that Melanie was my daughter would be a disaster.

“Nah, your time is up.” Wise shot, hanging up. I just let out a sigh. I was so sick of the drama!

I decided to go to my mother’s house to lay down. I was emotionally drained. Wise was tripping, Jabari was tripping, I needed to just disappear.

I drove in complete silence for the whole ride to my mother’s house. There was no radio, no phone, or nothing to distract my attention; just me and my thoughts.  I prayed that everything would fall back into order. I wished that Jabari would get his shit together, if not for me, then for the kids. We were done, but I still needed him to man up for the babies.

I was twenty minutes out, and when I pulled into the driveway, my heart got to racing. Wise and the kids were standing in the driveway with my mother, and the look of disappointment in her eyes made my heart drop. He had to have told her about Melanie and that was so wrong on his part.

I ran my hand across my face and let out a groan. Wise said that my time was up, but I didn’t think he meant this fucking fast.
I don’t have time to deal with this shit
, I mumbled, looking away from the daggers that my mother was shooting me. I knew that she was going to go the hell off on me about Melanie.

“Yeah, don’t be walking slow. Get over here lil’ girl.” My mother yelled at me like I was a child again.  I looked to Wise, but his cocky ass just looked away.

“Oooohhh, auntie Milan gone get in trouble!” Melanie chuckled with her little dimple on her left cheek poking out.

“She sure is.” Wise said, antagonizing me. “Now get Jabari Jr. and Kayla, and take them in the house, Melanie. Mrs. Smith got the Disney channel.”

“Man, why I got to take them. They just gone be messing with me. Come on little babies.” She sassed, reminding me of myself. I never realized how much all three of my babies looked alike.

Wise waited until the kids disappeared into the house, then he turned to me. “Don’t you got something to tell yo’ momma?”

I rolled my eyes and focused on my mother, trying to form the words to explain the whole situation to her. She had to understand, when I had Melanie, she wasn’t there for me. It was during the time that my father was murdered and she was two snaps from going crazy. She took my father’s death really hard. Drinking became her solitude, and she wasted a lot of time getting drunk, which drove a wedge between us. Shortly after the baby’s birth. I completely got rid of Wise, and Jabari found his way into my life. Hell, my mother didn’t get her life together until my step dad took her under his wing and they started to go to church.

“No, she doesn’t have to tell me anything. It’s obvious. How could you keep a baby from me? How could you deprive me of my grandbaby?” She  looked hurt. I could see the sadness in her eyes.

“Mom, things were complicated.”

“Not that damn complicated! That little girl just called you auntie, which means that she doesn’t even know that she’s your daughter!” She was now yelling.

“Ma! You don’t even know. You was so busy getting drunk and ignoring me that you didn’t realize I was even pregnant. I needed you, you know how close I was to daddy! But I had to depend on Wise!” I shouted back getting choked up.

“Stop making excuses, Milan. I would have helped with my grandchild.” She began to sniffle. “Was I that bad that you couldn’t depend on me?”

I nodded. “Ma. Sometimes I wanted to die. I was so alone.”

“Nah, don’t tell that lie. You always had me.” Wise spoke up, and I waved him off  with the quickness.

“Wise please! Me and every other broad in the streets had you! I can’t believe that you brought this to my mother.”

My mother kissed her teeth. “If not now, then when were you going to bring it to me, Milan? Are you even in her life?”

I looked at Wise. I wanted to know what he had to say.

“Yeah, she around. But I can’t raise no girl. She need y’all.” He stepped closer to me. “And I need you, Milan. This my last time reaching out to you and I’m doing it in front of your momma. I want us. I want the family thing and all.”

Before I could speak, Melanie came back outside. “Daddy can we go to Granny house now? The babies keep bothering me.”

My mother studied Melanie and my mouth went dry. Hell yeah I wanted the happily ever after with Wise. But nothing was ever easy for me.

Wise never took his eyes off of me as he answered her. “We are at your granny’s house Princess.”

Chapter Ten

Wise

Melanie got to shaking her head. “Nooooo, I’m talking about my real Granny!”

Mrs. Smith stepped forward and took Melanie’s hands, staring at her with tears. Melanie gave her this crazy ass look. I had to shake my head. I think she gets that blunt shit from me.

“Melanie, Mrs. Smith is your Grandmother too, and…”

“Unt uhh! Then why I never saw her before?” Melanie cut me off, and I looked to Milan to speak. She had the floor, it was time for her to explain to her daughter what was going on.

Milan signaled for Melanie to come to her. “Come here baby.” Mrs. Smith let Melanie go and watched as she walked over to Milan.

“Melanie, baby…” Milan looked at me as tears slid down her face. “Gosh, this is hard.”

“Man, let’s just tell her so that we can get this over with. No more secrets Milan. We gone make this shit right and move on.” I coached her, ready to get the elephant out the room and move forward.

Milan sighed. “Melanie, I love you so much. And you probably don’t understand right now, but she is your Grandmother, and I…I… I’m your mother.”

Melanie put her hands on her hip. “How, you my momma and I don’t live with you and Jabari Jr. and Kayla do? Auntie Milan, why you tricking me?”

“I’m not tricking you, baby. I wanted you to stay with me, but I had so much going on with me. I love you and I promise to be the best mommy ever from here on out.”

Melanie squinted her eyes at Milan and brought her weight to one leg. “Oh… my… God. So that mean that baby Kayla and Jabari  is my brother and sister? And they gone be bugging me all the time?” She looked to me. “Daddy, I’m not sharing my toys with those babies. They gone break ‘em.”

I chuckled. Her ten year-old ass was a mess. “Don’t be like that Melanie.”

“For real, for real. I’m not. But wait, does that mean that you not my daddy and Jabari and Kayla daddy is my daddy?”

“Hell naw!!” I didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh. But I felt that her lil’ ass just cussed at me.

“Ok daddy. So this means that Auntie Milan, I mean my mommy gone come stay with us and we can kick Sasha out?”