Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (30 page)

“Hey. I heard what happened. At the group meeting. Bonnie told me first, and I’ve been hearing about it from Kelly ever since.”

“Sorry,” Jason said. “I didn’t mean to—”

“I know, and it’s not you who should be sorry.” William checked to make sure the front door was still closed. “Kelly wasn’t always like this, you know. Lately he’s been getting more and more bitter, but I guess I’m to blame. For all of this.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

William nearly told him the truth. Learning about the accident would be enough to scare him off, but he didn’t want Jason to remember him that way. “Nothing. He doesn’t want me to see you anymore. At least not alone. He can’t stop you from coming to the group meetings, but no more swimming together.”

The line went silent. He thought it might go dead. He definitely didn’t expect Jason to sound so determined when he spoke again.

“I think we should keep seeing each other. In fact, I want to see more of you.”

William smiled. He couldn’t help it. “Jason,” he said warningly.

“So I guess you’re the tiebreaker. Kelly wants us to stop seeing each other. I want you to come to my house, meet my friends, and then go on a picnic with me. So you tell me what you want, and whatever it is, I’ll respect it. Just be honest with me, because I have no room for a liar in my life.”

The very words William had used on him the night of the recital. He chuckled in appreciation, then considered the offer. If this was the last of his time in Austin, shouldn’t he make the most of it? Kelly would be angry, but then, when wasn’t he? They’d probably find something else to argue about if Jason wasn’t around. William thought back to before all of this had begun. He hadn’t been happy then. He wasn’t happy now. Not all the time, but his mornings were pretty damn awesome thanks to a certain troublemaker.

“I do love a picnic,” William said. “When?”

Jason didn’t hesitate. “Right now?”

William laughed. “How about Saturday? I’ll bike to your place as my morning exercise instead of swimming.”

“We live outside of Austin.”

“Sounds like a good workout. Text me your address. Right now, I have an argument I have to get back to, but uh… Swimming? Tomorrow morning?”

“Absolutely!”

William hung up the phone and steeled himself. Kelly would either yell or cry. Neither would be easy to deal with, but he had reached his breaking point. William couldn’t stand the idea of things going back to the way they were, so he marched to the bedroom, cheeks burning. He wouldn’t back down. Not this time.

When Kelly saw his face, his own fell. “I don’t get it,” he said, sounding defeated. “Explain it to me. You’re in love with him? You don’t love me anymore? Which is it?”

“I’m tired of not having my own identity,” William said, the words ringing true. “I feel like the accident welded us together because ever since then, my entire world has revolved around you. At first I wanted that, but you’re doing better now, so why am I still here every night? Why do I have a room at home that I never sleep in or friends that I never see? I’m sick of it! I still love you, but I’m so tired of us.”

Kelly’s voice was level, his chin raised high. “The accident didn’t weld us together. Every relationship involves giving yourself up to the other person. That’s how two lives become one. I’m sorry you feel like I’m suffocating you with my needs, but without you, I don’t feel like I can breathe. One of us is going to run out of air. I guess it’s just a question of whom.”

William sat on the bed, placing his face in his open palms and rubbing weary eyes. Then he moved his hands away. “I just want to have a normal relationship.”

Kelly remained eerily calm. “I’m not sure you do. I don’t think you even know what a normal relationship is.”

“We’re in agreement there.” William stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “So what now? Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Kelly said. “That’s the problem. Isn’t it?”

* * * * *

Chop, toss, blend, pour. Smile at the customer. Process their payment. Take the next order. Chop, toss, blend, pour. The only issue with a job like William’s is how much time it allowed him to think. During the first week of employment, he had been on edge, worried about messing up orders or handing back too much change. Now he knew the menu by heart, and the necessary actions had become second nature. That left him time to stew over the past, present, and future, entertaining alternate versions of each: A past where the accident never occurred, a present where he and Kelly were just friends—each having moved on to new relationships, and a future so idyllic that Jason was enlisted in the Coast Guard with him.

“Trouble down at the ranch?”

William looked up, switching from fantasy to reality. To his delight, both involved Jason. “Hey!” he said. “Wait, what did you say?”

“It was supposed to be a cowboy joke.” Jason peered at him. “You look like someone ran off with your horse.”

William managed a laugh. “I’m all right.”

“I don’t think you are. You need pizza. I can tell.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Now I’m really worried!” Jason scratched above one ear, offering him a crooked smile. “I don’t suppose you have a break coming up?”

He didn’t, but William turned a pleading expression on his coworker. She rolled her eyes but nodded. He looked back at Jason, grinning now. “You want a smoothie?”

Jason rotated one of his shoulders. “Have you got one for sore muscles?”

“I might. Meet me at our usual place?”

Jason nodded and turned away. That freed William to keep grinning like an idiot, which he did while preparing Jason’s drink. Then he hurried outside. The sun had set, leaving behind a red glow on the horizon. Heat and humidity still hung in the evening air. William felt like stripping off his shirt. When he sat on the bench where Jason waited, he took off his hat to fan himself.

“Hot,” he said.

“Extremely,” Jason said, shooting him a sly smile as he accepted his smoothie. “Thanks.” After sucking on the straw, he made sure to look impressed. Then he set it on the bench next to him. “What’s going on? You were quiet this morning.”

“Sorry,” William said. “Everything has been crazy lately. Some of it makes me so happy I can barely cope. The rest has been hell. Hey, you know what would cheer me up?”

“What?”

“Another Jason Grant story.”

Jason laughed. “Meaning?”

William leaned against him briefly. “From your foster care days.”

“Ah. You mean the insane stuff I did to get booted out of each home.”

“Yeah,” William said, chuckling in anticipation. “Those always cheer me up. Start from the very beginning.”

“The first home?” Jason shook his head. “That one wasn’t so funny. I didn’t have any tact yet, so I basically just screamed at the top of my lungs until they sent me back. I lost my voice for a good week after that, which is why the next time I got a little more creative.”

“Then maybe we should work our way back,” William said. “How did you get kicked out of the very last one? I wanna hear the grand finale!”

Jason coughed. “I guess you could call it that.”

“You’re blushing.”

“Am not!” Jason pushed him playfully.

“Now I
really
want to hear this story!”

Jason stifled a yawn. “I don’t know if I have the energy. There’s this gorgeous guy I’ve been spending time with, even though he makes me get up at the butt crack of dawn. I can’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep.”

William smiled at the compliment, then patted his left leg. “I’ll be your pillow, but only if you tell me.”

“Pillow talk?” Jason said with a smirk. He accepted the offer, twisting around to lay the back of his head against William’s leg. “This is nice! Okay. You want a story? Instead of a wicked step-sister, this one involves a naughty foster brother.”

“Was he hot?” William asked.

“Very. Dark wavy hair, bronze skin, amazing eyes. He was a wrestler, but not heavyweight, so he had these lanky muscles…”

William frowned. “Is that your type?”

“One of many,” Jason said shamelessly. “What about you? They say once you go black…”

William made a face. “That’s such a stupid saying.”

“Sorry. But some people have a strong preference in that regard.”

“Race doesn’t matter to me.”

Jason’s eyes were smoldering. “Good.”

“Stop looking at me like that. And no more interruptions.”

“Fine.” Jason closed his eyes, brow furrowing as he continued. “His name was Caesar, and I didn’t think of him as a brother or any other sort of relative. At first I steered clear of him because I had already learned the hard way that such things never work out. I don’t mean I had affairs with lots of foster brothers or anything. Just that the guys I got crushes on always turned out to be straight. So anyway, we started getting friendly—”

“You mean sex?”

“Easy, horndog! You’re rushing things. At first we just hung out, but yeah, eventually I lost control and made a move. I do that. When I like a guy, I reach a certain point where logic goes out the window, and I end up sneaking into his room late at night, overwhelmed by the urge to touch him.”

William became aware of how close Jason’s head was to his cock. “Is that what happened?”

“Something like that.”

“I uh… I want details.”

Jason smiled. “Really? Are you sure about that?”

William was on the verge of needing to adjust himself. “Maybe not. So you made a move and—”

“It didn’t go so well. I was ready to pull another prank and get myself booted out, but then Caesar…” Jason swallowed, his features tensing. “He liked me back, and that was enough to make me love him.”

“So you ended up together?”

“Yeah. At least I thought so.” Jason opened his eyes and shook his head. “You don’t want to hear this. It’s boring. Did I ever tell you about the clam chowder? There was this lady who—”

“Wait,” William said. “I want to hear the rest. What happened with you and Caesar?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does!”

Jason looked confused. “Why?”

“Because relationships define you. They change who you are. They change your entire life.”

Jason stared up at him. “I know it seems that way now. Kelly is your first relationship, right? I get it. I remember how the world feels like an entirely new place when you find someone you love. And when that person loves you back, it’s empowering. Like winning the lottery. Like winning
everything
. Life seems perfect, you feel invincible, colors are brighter… Then they hurt you and it all comes tumbling down. Afterwards you feel like they’ve broken you, but it’s not true. When that person goes away and you claw your way through the layers of heartache, you’ll find who you used to be. Small and alone again, but still you.”

“That’s sad,” William said.

“That’s life,” Jason countered. “I’m actually trying to be positive. You’re right that relationships change everything, but that doesn’t have to be permanent. You can always start over, find another person to make you feel big and invincible again, and if you’re lucky, this time they won’t leave. Or you won’t need to leave them.”

“Is that what happened with Caesar? You left him?”

Jason’s eyes searched his, then he smiled. “You don’t give up easily, do you?”

“Nope!” William said proudly. “You either tell me what happened now, or I’ll bug you about it for the rest of your life.”

Jason’s tone was flirtatious. “Is that a promise?”

“I’m about to take back my leg pillow!”

“Okay, okay. What happened with Caesar is that someone else got there first. He had already found the love of his life, but they couldn’t be together because… Well, whatever. I’m an idiot, so even that wasn’t enough to discourage me. Eventually I forced him to make a choice. And he did. Just not the one I had hoped for.” Jason covered his face and laughed. “I never learn.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” When he didn’t answer, William grabbed Jason’s hands to move them away, loving the excuse to touch him. “Tell me!”

Jason chuckled again. “I keep meeting these amazing guys and not taking the hint when it turns out they’re already taken.”

William didn’t know how to respond. Something had changed between them. Ever since the phone call on Sunday, when Jason insisted they keep seeing each other, he hadn’t been hiding his feelings. That was flattering, but also frustrating because William couldn’t reciprocate. Doing so would be cheating. Already they were going too far. Having Jason’s head in his lap—them having physical contact at all—was a bad idea. After today, he would make sure it didn’t happen again.

The phone in his pocket rumbled. William pulled it out and saw an agitated text message from his coworker. “Duty calls.”

“You could always quit,” Jason said, sitting up. “Maybe I could get you a job at the pet store. We’d be coworkers. I’m pretty sure your poolside skills would qualify you to work in the aquarium aisle. You could teach the fish how to swim.”