Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (60 page)

“You’re right that this is going to change everything, and I hope…” That he wouldn’t lose Jason. “No matter what happens, I’ll have a little girl in my life. That’s what I’m focusing on now. The rest I’ll figure out later.”

“Your mother is going to be thrilled,” Lily said. “Is she a grandmother yet?”

“Nope, and I bet she didn’t expect me to ever make her one!”

“She’ll want to see the sonogram.”

“I do too! Actually, tell me everything from the very beginning.”

They talked for nearly two hours. Lily told him how she had found out, how the doctor’s appointments had gone so far, and how her family had reacted. When her parents came home again, their greeting was warm, although he could tell they shared the same questions that he and Lily did. How exactly was he going to be involved? How would this work? He and Lily agreed to discuss it again, once they both had more time to think. He said goodbye, got on his bike, and started the ride home. But home was no longer his mother’s house. Jason wanted them to live together, which only complicated things further. Did they have room for a crib? Would he be okay with a baby there if William was allowed to take care of her sometimes? Lily was right. This would change everything.

When he reached the apartment complex, he saw a family get out of their car, arms full of opened presents as they returned home. It was Christmas. Not the ideal time to break life-changing news to Jason. Tomorrow would be better, but he had learned his lesson. No more hiding difficult truths. He needed to tell Jason. Right away.

* * * * *

William was pacing, unable to sit. He was too worried about Jason’s reaction. His boyfriend was also nervous, standing up with his arms crossed over his chest, and he hadn’t even heard the real news yet.

“So you and Lily slept together,” Jason said.

William nodded. “Yeah. Before you and I got back together.”

“Does that mean you’re bisexual? Because I know a lot of gay guys who have slept with women. Usually when they’re teenagers but… Has this happened before?”

“First and last time,” William said. “I’m gay. Trust me.”

Jason breathed out. “Okay. I appreciate you telling me, but you didn’t need to. I like Lily. I’m not threatened by her. Wait, does she want more from you?”

“No. Not like that. She had feelings for me in high school, but she gets it.”

“Cool,” Jason said, heading for the kitchen. “Should we open a bottle of wine?”

Tempting. Maybe that would make the news easier to handle, or maybe it would make the reaction more volatile. “There’s more,” William said. “I need you to listen.”

Jason turned back around, posture stiff. “What?”

“Lily and I weren’t safe that night. She’s pregnant.”

Jason scoffed, like it was joke. When he saw it wasn’t, his face went slack. “Is she going to keep it?”

“She’s six months pregnant! It’s a little late for that!”

“I don’t know how these things work!” Jason said defensively.

“I wouldn’t want her to have an abortion even if it is still possible!”

“Okay!” Jason held up his palms. “I’m just trying to make sense of this.” He stood there in silence, eventually shaking his head. “Are you sure it’s yours?”

Obviously he was still in denial. “It’s my baby. A little girl. There’s no doubt.”

Now Jason looked hurt. “How many people have you slept with?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you keep dropping these bombshells, and they all involve who you’ve been with! What’s next? I’m going to find out you had sex with Ben? Tim?”

William shook his head. “What’s wrong with you?”

Jason didn’t treat the question as rhetorical. “Having a kid with someone is up there with getting married.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“I know, but it’s still serious, and I guess… I wish
we
were having a kid together. I know that’s biologically impossible, but I pictured us doing that eventually. We could adopt. Now you’re having a kid with someone else. Without me. You know what? Never mind. I’m sure I sound like a selfish asshole.”

“You don’t,” William said, walking forward. He tried to hug Jason, but met resistance. “Maybe we can do this together. We can both be involved. And this doesn’t mean we can’t still adopt and share that experience.”

“It won’t be the same.”

“Nothing will be,” William said. “Except how I feel. I love you. That won’t change. I hope you still love me too, even though I keep complicating everything.”

Some of the tension left Jason’s body. “This is nuts.”

“I know. But it’s also a good thing. A new life is coming into the world, and we get to be part of that.”

Jason’s jaw clenched. “You really think Lily will want me to be involved?”

“Sure,” William said. “You can be the step-dad.”

“Step-dad!” Jason repeated incredulously. “Okay, I’m definitely going to need that wine now.”

William watched him go to the kitchen and open a bottle. He poured a glass for himself only, taking a few sips and getting lost in thought. When Jason noticed him staring, he grabbed another glass and filled it.

“I guess we should toast,” he said, not smiling. “Congratulations.”

William accepted the wine, but didn’t raise it. “Are you mad at me?”

Jason was quiet before he answered. “No. Just confused. And I know it’s going to make me look bad, but I’m worried this will be another Coast Guard.”

“Meaning?”

“That it’ll take you away from me.”

William nearly smiled. “You are and will always be my baby. Now you’ve just got… I don’t know, a little sister.”

This was just ridiculous enough to make Jason laugh. “Seriously,” he said, holding his glass up. “Congratulations. I’m glad there’s going to be more of you in the world. That’s definitely a good thing.”

“So we’re okay?”

Jason shook his head in exasperation, but his answer was positive. “We’re okay.”

Probably not the best time to propose, but as they clinked glasses, William felt like he wanted to pop the question right then and there. He was lucky, in more ways than he had ever dreamed possible.

* * * * *

William felt invigorated by the new year. After meeting with Lily, having discussions with his parents, and doing lots of online research, he developed a plan. The most important goal was to support Lily. He was disgusted to learn that FMLA, the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993, promised women only twelve weeks of unpaid leave. Unpaid! Lily wasn’t the only single mother, and that meant women were forced to choose between bonding with their children or providing financial support for them. Reprehensible. Especially since many other countries promised paid leave for
both
parents. Because of that, he decided his entire income for three months would go to Lily so she could stay at home with Daisy. The name was another decision they had made together. William couldn’t stop saying it! Daisy, Daisy, Daisy… He yearned to help support her. This meant he wasn’t moving in with Jason just yet. He didn’t want to mooch off anyone, except his mother, who was being very supportive. William continued living with her so he didn’t have rent and bills to pay, despite Jason insisting he was welcome regardless. The apartment key got plenty of use though, as did Jason’s bed.

Daisy’s imminent arrival hadn’t ruined their relationship. At times Jason seemed enthusiastic, like on shopping trips for baby toys. At other times he grew quiet when the subject came up. William did his best to reassure him that the new baby wouldn’t take his place. He had read in a parenting magazine that some fathers feel jealous of a new child. Maybe this was some weird equivalent. William tried not to overwhelm their time together with talk of Daisy, and clearly, Jason was trying to stay connected too.

“I finished reading your book,” he said when they were taking a shower together one morning.

“Funny,” William replied. “I don’t remember writing one.”

“
The Finest Hours
,” Jason said, squirting him with the body wash. “It was amazing.” He started rubbing the soap over his pecs. “You’re amazing.”

“Thanks,” William said, “but don’t confuse me with the heroes in that book. Their situation was exceptional, and thankfully, like nothing I ever had to face.”

“But you still saved lives,” Jason said. “You’re a hero too.”

“If that’s what you want to call me,” William said, puffing up his chest, but Jason was ignoring it now, staring at him with watery eyes. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah. It’s just that there aren’t a lot of rescue swimmers.”

“True,” William said, turning around to rinse off. “We’re an endangered species. That means you’ve gotta treat me nice.”

Jason ignored this attempt at humor. “There are way more EMTs in the world. It’s easier to become one than an AST.”

“Look at you using the abbreviations!” William said. “I’m going to buy you more books like that. Soon you’ll be talking like a coastie.”

Jason still seemed solemn. That was easy enough to cure. They might be in the shower, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t get dirty. “Don’t you ever miss it?”

“Sure,” William said. “Wanna pretend to be a survivor in need of rescue? I’ll let you ride in my basket.”

That did it. Jason made a face before he started laughing. Then they worked on creating one of the finest hours imaginable.

* * * * *

Two in the morning. William looked at a bank clock as he rode past, vision blurred from exhaustion. He had worked a later shift than normal, having traded with someone who wanted Saint Patrick’s Day off. The other paramedic had taken Christmas Day for him, so it was only fair. One holiday was bigger than the other, but today was notoriously bad for paramedics, due to how many people would be drinking themselves stupid. It had been a long night. He and Jason had breakfast together before his shift began, not expecting to see each other again until tomorrow. And yet, at the end of another hard day, the only thing that sounded more comforting than a warm bed was being close to his boyfriend.

William got off his bike, missing the satisfaction that had come with his work back in Cape Cod. Tonight he had responded to a teenager convinced he was overdosing on marijuana, a drunk woman who wanted to know if he could check her for STDs, two cases of elderly indigestion that were mistaken for heart attacks, and—the only real emergency—a domestic dispute where an intoxicated couple had beaten each other up. William longed for the thrill of a search and rescue, the physical exertion of being in the water, and especially the standards he and his other crewmen held themselves to. His partner tonight had been overweight and out of shape. While he normally didn’t judge anyone on the state of their body, he was concerned that this person’s condition would affect how they performed their duty, and sure enough, tonight William had been forced to ask a police offer to help him get a gurney down a flight of stairs. His regular partner wasn’t much better, since Sharon chain-smoked. She always stepped out of the ambulance to do so, but the smell still followed her back.

He found himself drawn to Jason’s apartment instead of his mother’s place, seeking a sympathetic ear. Jason was a good listener, but William wouldn’t put him through that tonight. Or in the morning when they were awake together. He trudged up the stairs to the third floor and let himself in, expecting the apartment to be dark, but the television was still on, the volume muted. Jason was stretched out on the couch, sleeping. He wore one of William’s old Coast Guard T-shirts, which always hung baggy on him, and a pair of Transformer-themed pajama bottoms. This wasn’t the first time William had seen him in such a getup. He supposed it was their equivalent of a woman wearing skimpy lingerie, since it made him feel just as amorous.

William put his things on the coffee table, took off his shoes, and crawled onto the couch. There wasn’t really room for him to lay next to Jason, but he needed to be close to him anyway.

Jason stirred, looked up at him, and smiled. “I knew you’d be back.”

“You were waiting for me?”

Jason nodded and stretched. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” he lied. Feeling guilty, he amended his answer. “The usual.”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

“I’d rather get in bed with you.” William kissed him and stood. “Let’s go.”

“I’m too tired.” Jason held out his arms, eyes moving over the uniform he still wore. “Rescue me.”

At last! A chance to put his abilities to good use. William slid his arms beneath Jason and scooped him up. This caused them both to laugh. He was walking them to the bedroom when his phone vibrated on the table.

“Ignore it,” Jason said, stifling a yawn. “It’s still Saint Patrick’s Day. I want to get lucky”

“Technically it’s past midnight.”

“I don’t care.”

Neither did William. They continued to the bedroom, William setting Jason down on the mattress. Then he started unbuttoning his shirt.

Jason spread his arms and legs wide, taking up most of the bed. On purpose. “Come snuggle.”

William was pretty sure he had more in mind than innocent cuddling. Those Transformer pajamas were looking fuller than they had a few minutes ago. He stripped off his shirt, putting on a show, even swinging it in the air and flinging it away. Before hormones could take over completely, a worry elbowed its way to the forefront. What if that text had been from Lily? She wasn’t due for two more weeks, but maybe there was some other emergency.