Somewhere Between Black and White (6 page)

“Well,
everyone has spells of déjà vu, don’t they?”

“Hmmm.” She
was dying to ask him exactly what he had seen, if his experience matched hers,
but the idea made her uneasy. He might end up saying something really out
there, and her perception of him would be shattered. Then again, if that was
going to happen, better sooner than later. However, she just couldn’t bring
herself to do it. “Can we please talk about something else?” 

“It was
probably just a bit of a liquor buzz,” he reasoned.

It was no
such thing; she had only finished her first drink.

For what
seemed a long while, the only sound was the clinking of the silverware to their
plates. Sophie tried to summon the serenity she knew in that reverie, then
pushed it away, simply because the thought was such a distraction. She wondered
if something would happen the next time they kissed, and the corners of her
mouth curved up a tad.

“What’s
going on in that head of yours?” he asked.

“Nothing,”
she answered, eyeing the tattoo on his arm. “What is that symbol?”

He
glanced down at it, as if he forgot it was there. “Ah, that,” he said, brushing
off the question. “It’s just something I got when I was young. I’ll tell you
some other time. Don’t want to bombard you with too much corniness in one
night.”

Now she
was extremely curious, but she let it drop since he wasn’t up for sharing. “I
am stuffed. I cannot eat another bite.” She dropped her napkin on her plate. “Thank
you for a delicious dinner.”

“I hope
you’ll have room for dessert after a while. Chocolate cake.”

“
Ohhh
,”
she groaned, rubbing her stomach.

“How ‘bout we take Abby for a walk? It’s a nice night
out.”

It was a
beautiful evening in early October, Sophie’s favorite time of year. It was one
of the two months out of the year in Las Vegas that had perfect temperatures.
Not too hot and not too cold.

Sam lived
in Summerlin, so his neighborhood was much greener than where she lived.
Residents there paid association fees to enjoy grounds that did not resemble
Las Vegas. Lots and lots of trees, for one thing. The trees nearly formed a
canopy over the sidewalk, and the twittering of birds was unbelievably
boisterous. “Wow, are they always this loud?” Sophie asked.

“A good
part of the year,” he answered, taking her hand. Abby, who had been pretty
inactive at the house, enthusiastically scampered alongside him.

“I’ve
been meaning to ask you,” Sophie said. “Is Elijah doing any better in your
class?”

“He’s still
a pain in the ass,” he answered point blank.

Sophie
didn’t know why, but she expected him to be a little more diplomatic in his
reply, given the last conversation about the boy.

“I just
tune him out, for the most part,” he added.

“I wish
I
could do that! I try, but I just wanna. . .
.” She mimed wringing someone’s neck. “He’s got to argue about
everything
.
Everything!
Even the kids
get sick of him!”

“I know,”
Sam said amiably, shaking his head. They took a break from their walk as they
waited on Abby, who was intently sniffing a hydrant.

“I often
wonder if I chose the wrong profession.” Sophie sighed. “I don’t think I have
the temperament for teaching.”

“Who of
us hasn’t thought that?” Sam admitted. “You just can’t let yourself take their
attitudes personally.”

“Of
course my
mind
knows that,” she answered, throwing up the palms of her
hands. “But try telling that to my blood pressure!” It was very difficult for
Sophie not to use her body when she talked. Evie always told her she was a
clone of Meg Ryan in her personality and mannerisms. Sophie didn’t see the
similarity. She would never be able to fake an orgasm in the middle of a diner
like Meg did. It would be too embarrassing.

“How long
have you been teaching?” Sam asked.

“Since I
got out of college. About ten years. What about you?”

“I’ve got
a couple of years on you.” He peered down at Abby, who was perfectly content to
get to know that hydrant for another half hour or so. “Sheesh, Abby! You think
we could move on?”

Abby
glowered at him as if she were insulted, then trotted ahead.

“I think
you kind of ticked her off.” Sophie laughed.

“I think
you’re right, although it wouldn’t be the first time she’s given me the cold
shoulder. That’s a woman for you.”

He was so
laid back. So opposite her. She could see why he would have a good rapport with
kids. She couldn’t imagine anything getting under his skin. Was that the reason
she had this strange need to seek counsel from him? There was something about
Sam that gave her the idea he had a few things figured out that she didn’t.

The few
last cicadas of the season buzzed in the trees as they strolled along. Allured
by his repose, Sophie felt compelled to watch him. He was not the least bit
bothered by their silence, completely relaxed and at ease. Most people would
feel the need to keep the conversation moving, unless they had known each other
for a really long time, like an old married couple. Sophie would fall under the
category of most people, for she tried to think of something to talk about that
didn’t involve picking his brain.

“Yes,
Sophie?” He grinned without turning her way.

“I didn’t
say anything.”

“I can
feel your eyes boring a hole into . . . I think it’s my earlobe,” he said,
pulling on his ear.

“If you
don’t want to talk about work, just say so.”

“We can
talk about anything you want.”

They were
now approaching the neighborhood shopping center that was right across the
street from a baseball park. Sam was going to find it hard to believe she’d
been teaching as long as she had, since the things she wanted to discuss were
matters she should have figured out by now, which again, was why she wondered if
she belonged in a classroom.

“Well, do
you ever question if your interactions with your students are . . .
appropriate?” she asked.

The
confusion and alarm in his face made her realize her words hadn’t come out
right.

“No, no,
no!” She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. “That’s not what I meant.
What I meant was, I constantly question my expectations of them.”

Sam’s
shoulders dropped with relief. “Oh!”

“You know
what I’m saying, though? Sometimes I think, ah, they’re just kids. No real harm
in what they’re saying, doing, whatever. ‘Cause you know how they are. They do
things to get a reaction, and if you make a big deal out of it, it only
encourages them.”

“Oh,
yeah. They like to do that.”

“But then
other times, I’m like—no. That is just unacceptable. And then I wonder if I’m
making a big deal out of nothing. And I ask myself, if another teacher were in
my room, would they think I’m being too uptight, other times too easy? Those
kids have always got me so tangled up inside my head.”

Sam
stopped and put his hand on her shoulder, before giving her a gentle shake.
“You worry too much!”

“I know,”
she replied sheepishly, folding her arms across her chest. “My sister says that
all the time.”

His hand
wandered to the back of her neck, and goose bumps prickled her arms at his
unexpected touch.

“She’s
right,” he said softly. “Stop worrying so much, and stop worrying about what
other people would think. Everyone’s got their own tolerances, their own style,
and the way I hear kids talk about your class, I think you’re doing just fine.”

She felt
kind of ridiculous, and hoped he didn’t think she had been fishing for
compliments. “Thanks.”

“So,” he
continued. “I’m going to kiss you now. Just thought I’d warn you. I don’t want
you to get freaked out like the last time.”

Sophie’s
eyes widened. “Okay.”

“You have
pretty blue eyes, you know that?” The brush of his thumb tickled the skin just
below her ear.

When she
emptied her mind of all else, it was as if they shared a secret, except Sophie
wasn’t sure what the secret was. The moon cast its brilliance, giving Sam’s
crisp white shirt a kind of glow as Sophie mindlessly fooled with his pocket.
Abby whimpered softly and tried to nudge her way in between them as Sam leaned
in. His lips were warm on hers, his kiss more amorous than the first. No
visions this time, no daydreams. Just the simple bliss of being the object of
his affection.

Nine

“I am so looking forward to relaxing
this weekend,” Evelyn said as she carried her shopping bags. “Even if we are
staying in town.”

“Christian will be beside himself when
he sees you in that dress,” Sophie raved. 

Evie lifted her shoulders in girlish
excitement, grinning with anticipation. It had been quite some time since she
and Christian shared a romantic weekend. They would celebrate their anniversary
at the Paris Hotel.

“I have to hand it to you two.” Sophie sipped
her frappuccino. “Thirteen years is definitely an accomplishment these days.”
They strolled through the mall; they had planned the day so Sophie could help
her shop for the occasion.

“Tell me all about your new man,” Evie
prompted.

Sophie’s face brightened. “I like him. A
lot.”

“Really! So when do I get to meet this
lucky guy?”

“I don’t know.” Sophie sighed. “New
boyfriends are almost always great in the beginning. I’m kinda waiting to find
out if he’s going to stay that way. God, I hope so. ‘Cause it’s really gonna
suck if it doesn’t work out and I have to see him at work every day.”

Evie glanced into the entrance of an art
gallery then slowed to a stop when something caught her attention. Sophie must
not have noticed that she’d come to a halt because she ran into Evie, jabbing
herself in the face with her straw.

Christian was inside, speaking with an
extremely attractive woman with long red hair and porcelain skin. Evie stared,
trying to make sense out of what she was seeing. Maybe it was some sort of
professional exchange relating to Christian’s work, but it certainly didn’t seem
that way. The woman was laughing flirtatiously, and Christian was standing
very, very close to her as they spoke. Evie felt sick. She shifted her eyes
toward Sophie to see if she witnessed it, too. Sophie was gazing into the
gallery, her attention locked on them. Evie peeked back in time to see
Christian put his hand on the woman’s elbow, then lean in and say something in
her ear.

Evie started walking at a wicked pace,
escaping the scene as quickly as she could.

“Evie!” Sophie called.

She ignored her sister and marched in
the direction of the parking garage, when Sophie caught up to her.

“Evie, go talk to him!”

“And what exactly am I supposed to say?”

“Maybe you’re jumping to conclusions.
That may have been something completely innocent.”

“Sophie, don’t patronize me. Please.” 
She knew Sophie was only defending him for her sake, because she didn’t want to
see her hurt. The only reason Sophie was doing an about-face where Christian
was concerned was because of the disagreement they’d had weeks before. Evie
knew there was something wrong with what they saw. They both did.

Evelyn was silent as she drove the two
of them home, while Sophie continued to play with the straw in her cup,
jiggling it to try to loosen the last bit of ice on the bottom, making an
annoying squeaking sound. Evie shot her a look.

“Sorry.” Sophie eyed the high rises as
they drove the I-15. “This town is unrecognizable from when we grew up, huh? I
don’t even know what half these buildings are anymore.”

Evie stared straight ahead, keeping her
eyes on the road.

“Evie,” Sophie began. “Has Christian
said anything to you about trying to get his work into a gallery?”

“No.”

“That could be all it was. Maybe he hasn’t
said anything because he didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work
out.”

“Mmm-hmm.”
Except for the fact that he was looking at that woman the same way he looks
at me.
She appreciated the fact that Sophie tried to paint the whole thing
in a positive light, but it wasn’t working. “Sophie, I know you’re trying to
help, but I can’t talk about it right now. I’m just trying to figure out what
I’m going to say to him.”

***

Evie would likely pay for the three
glasses of wine she had once she got home, but she would deal with the lupus
flare if and when it happened. Now that she had some time to calm down and sit
with her thoughts, she wasn’t entirely convinced he was up to something. Then
again, it could simply be that she didn’t want to accept the possibility.
Between her illness and his, these last five years had been rough. How often
she wished she no longer had feelings for him, for as much as she hated to
admit it, the relationship was taking its toll on her.