Somewhere in Between (24 page)

"Have you ever been kissed?" she asks as they sit side by side, watching butterflies land on flowers only to float away moments later. They were in the park again, it wasn't as sunny, a summer storm close to passing through, but it was still beautiful. It's a question she has always been curious about, but almost afraid to ask. If he says yes, that means he has some experience and she's worried about that.

He rubs the back of his neck, pink tinting his cheeks. "Uh, no. Not yet." He's embarrassed by this. He's fifteen and even though some girls have shown interest in him, he hasn't been closer than a handshake to any of them. "What about you?" He doesn't really want to know because he hasn't known Gemma his whole life like he has everyone else. And she's so pretty, surely guys were lined up for a shot at her in Austin.

She just laughs at him. "Yeah right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean look at me." Her face is hot with embarrassment.

"I am."

"Leighanna is my sister. She's beautiful. I'm plain. I'm not ugly, I know I'm pretty enough in my own right. But I'm not really anything spectacular. No one really paid me much attention and that's fine." It's fine now because she's met Elliot, and he's so much more than any of the boys she knew back in Texas. Although Gemma knows with the way Elliot looks and the girls they attend school with, she really doesn't stand a chance. But it's nice to dream at least.

"I think you might need to get your eyes checked," is all Elliot says on that matter. He's sure there were tons of guys Gemma had no idea wished she would've noticed them. "Either way, I don't think you should just kiss someone just to do it. It should mean something. You should really like the person, if not love them." His cheeks are burning now. "At least, that's what I've taken from my parents. They've been together since high school. Always admired what they have. My mom says that makes me an old soul."

"It would be wonderful to find a love like that."

“Yeah. But I mean I wouldn’t… I couldn’t, you know? I couldn’t just kiss someone without it meaning something more than just to do it. I would hope the girl I kiss is kissing me back because she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.”

The instant their lips connected, sparks appeared.

Gemma inhaled sharply, her mind reeling and slowing down all at once. She couldn't believe what was happening. His lips were so soft but firm against her own. It was perfect and terrifying all at once. Months of longing and hope, of sadness and loss, of desire and need, all boiled up inside as their lips moved against each other in sloppy perfection.

Elliot's mind was screaming in celebration at him and his heart was beating so fast he feared it may explode. Not only was he taking a huge risk, especially since he hadn't been sure if Gemma would freak out because of what happened to her, he was also risking her rejection. But she wasn't rejecting him. No, she was kissing him back! And it was the most glorious feeling ever.

As their kiss intensified slightly, Elliot brought his hands up to cup Gemma's neck, holding her securely as he poured every emotion he felt for her. And Gemma, she held to Elliot's waist, her fingers linking into his belt loops, hanging on for dear life.

While there were no actual fireworks, or physical electricity, the two teenagers felt how everything seemed to align perfectly. How in the moment their lips touched, the world around them ceased to exist, with all its anger and pain. And there was just the two of them.

Pulling away, out of breath, Gemma swallowed hard. Her face was hot, and her heart beating so fast. "Wow," she whispered under her breath. That was her first kiss. And it had been shared with Elliot. "Wow."

He had a goofy grin on his face. He knew he did but he couldn't control it. He'd just had the most amazing kiss of all time. It was his first kiss ever, and best of all, it was shared with Gemma. His eyes were still closed, his mouth tingling and his body vibrating. Every thought was gone from his mind, replaced by complete bliss. "Wow," he breathed out heavily in agreement.

"I can't… I never… wow," Gemma giggled uncontrollably. She felt ridiculous and loopy, her mind wasn't making sense.

Opening his eyes, Elliot saw her cheeks were flushed and her eyes alight. He'd never seen her look happier, not in all the time he'd known her, and certainly, not in the last several months. And his heart began to beat hard as he realized she looked like that because of him. And his kiss too, but it was because of him… wow, indeed.

"I've wanted to do that for a really long time now," he murmured, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. He was still close to her, and even though he'd just had the most incredible experience of his life, he felt fortunate his anatomy wasn't trying to sabotage him. Good boy, he though with an internal laugh.

Ducking her eyes, and looking at where their bodies were pressing together, Gemma smiled shyly. "Me too. Obviously."

"I was… I was afraid though," he croaked out. When her eyes met his again, a question in them, he elaborated. "I didn't want to scare you. The way I feel, the way I feel about you, it's kind of overwhelming,
for me
, and I didn't want to do anything or say anything that would freak you out, make you hate me or be afraid of me." Her features softened at his words, her brown eyes lighting up.

"I couldn't hate you, Elliot," she laughed. "And while I feel incredibly nervous, I'm not afraid."

"You're not?" he questioned.

Shaking her head, Gemma ducked her head slightly. "I um, I've been thinking, like I said, for a while. I finally talked to Dr. Archuleta about everything because I wasn't sure if it was right for me to feel…well, anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I liked you before," she admitted still blushing and avoiding his eyes. "I liked you and then I was…hurt, and I didn't know if I could keep liking you. I didn't know if it was okay for me to feel anything, or if I really would ever feel anything again. But then, the way you have been, and the last month, everything has just started coming back for me, and I wanted to make sure it was okay for me to like someone… you, again."

"What did Dr. Archuleta say?" He was a little shocked Gemma felt this way. Those bastards did a number on her to make her think she couldn't feel anything romantic for someone again. It also made him realize why he was told to let Gemma take the lead.

"She said…" her thought trailed off. She wasn't sure if Elliot knew their doctor had been raped once too. And she didn't want to betray that trust so she found a way around it. "She said lots of women are attacked and they become someone's wife. And there is nothing wrong with them."

He nodded, relieved to hear that. But he was curious as to what Gemma had wanted to say but backtracked on. Either way, he got the answer he wanted so he was willing to let it go. "There is nothing wrong with you. Something bad happened to you, yes, but that doesn't mean it has to define you."

"That's what she told me, too," Gemma laughed with tears brewing in her eyes. As she wrapped her arms around Elliot's torso, holding him to her, she felt it. For the first time in so very long, she actually felt somewhat normal, and best of all, she felt real happiness. She just hoped there weren't any more surprises that would threaten that feeling.

*LtB*

The weekend passed in a blur. Just as before their big confessions, Gemma and Elliot spent every waking moment together. Only this time, while they still held hands, they also shared small light kisses. Both knew it would be a while before Gemma (and even Elliot after what he'd stumbled upon) would be ready for anything more than that, and they were okay with it. There was no rush. After all, they were still trying to heal.

That night, Gemma ate dinner at Elliot's house, holding his hand at the table. The way Grace beamed at them made Gemma blush, but she knew at least it wouldn't be her getting the inquisition later. At least not from Elliot's mother.

When Gemma got home that night, Leigh immediately knew something big had happened and wanted to know everything.

"
Well?"

"
Well, what?" Gemma plays dumb, though it's hard fighting the smile.

"
Don't be daft, you know what."

"
He likes me. A lot." She lets the smile play, happy tears filling her eyes but not spilling. "And I um, I got to experience my first kiss." A giggle escapes with this news. Everything feels too good to be true, like she's flying.

"
Oh my… are you serious!" Leigh hugs her tight, laughter in her voice. "Oh sweetie, that's… well, I can just tell by looking at you how great that is."

"
It really is."

"
And how are you?"

It's unfortunate that this question is asked, but it's part of her life now. "I'm surprisingly good. I mean yeah I freaked out, but it wasn't because we kissed. I never thought it could be real, you know? I always thought I'd like him, and he'd like someone else. I'd move on from it eventually, probably if we didn’t see each other anymore, but this just feels…unreal. Unreal but amazing."

"
I'm so happy for you, Gemma. For both of you. You guys have been through a lot. I'm so happy to see it bring you both closer together." Leigh doesn't know it, but that's exactly what Dr. Archuleta had been referring too, and Gemma is happy about it too.

After dinner, Elliot drove Gemma home, going as slow as possible, not wanting to end their time together. He knew by the way his mom was acting that he was definitely going to be grilled about the latest developments. Parking in the driveway, he got out of his car, hurried around to the passenger side, and helped Gemma from the car. After promising to call her later to debrief on their grilling sessions, Elliot lightly kissed Gemma's lips, smiling as he did so, before heading home. The moment he entered the house, his parents were waiting.

"
Calm down, Grace, you'll scare the poor boy," his dad laughs while his mom bounces, it's a trait Christie inherited.

"
What's going on?" Elliot asks, trying to play like nothing is out of the ordinary.

"
Don't you act stupid, young man! I want details," Grace's voice is stern but her face is all smiles.

"
What kind of details?" That's it, draw it out more.

"
You were holding Gemma's hand, not just as a supportive friend. And you have the goofiest grin on your face. We weren't born yesterday, Elliot."

He almost laughs at the way his mom is practically vibrating with excitement. Sitting down, he shakes his head, a smile on his lips. "I guess you could say Gemma and I are together now," he says, then thinks about it a minute. While it is implied, he knows he needs to make sure they're defined during their conversation later. "She told me she likes me, that she's been worried about it because of everything, and that after talking with our doctor, she realizes it's okay for her to like someone, to like me. And I um, I told her I like her too." He ducks his head, his cheeks heating. "Yeah, um, we also um, well, we also shared our first kiss."

"
Oh my sweet boy, that's wonderful!" his mom moves to him, hugging him tight. "I just knew there was something different about the two of you."

"
We're happy for you son," his dad smiles. "Gemma is an amazing girl. Treat her right."

"
I will." He looks off to the side, staring toward the kitchen before returning his eyes back to his parents. "I love her." It’s not the first time he’s said this. He told Gemma, and while she didn’t say it back, and he didn’t expect her to since his was a heat of the moment explosion, he feels relief saying it again. He just hopes she’ll be able to say it back to him too someday soon.

His mom just nods. "We know, sweetie. We know."

That night on the phone, they laughed about the reactions they received. Gemma hadn't told her parents yet, since neither were home when she went to bed, but she knew they'd be happy for her. Andrew liked Elliot, trusted him, and Caroline, she would just be happy to see Gemma happy.

They also officially defined their relationship. While they still intended to maintain their friendship, because it was important to them, they confirmed that they were in fact dating. And while Gemma couldn't help the small giggles that escaped her at this, Elliot was hard pressed to wipe the ridiculously wide grin from his face.

While they spent the whole weekend talking, clearing any lingering doubt away, and kissing some more, nothing about their days changed. So when Monday rolled around, when someone noticed their increased affection for one another, it was almost a surprise.

"You guys are together? Like for real and official and everything?" Becky asked as they walked into the cafeteria for lunch. She was standing with Lisa gossiping about Ricky Carmichael and some party he was trying to sneak by his parents. Again.

"Um, yeah. We are," Elliot answered, his grin stretching across his face, a light pink tinting his cheeks. He squeezed Gemma's hand, noticing her sweet smile.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Look how goofy that grin he has is," Lisa laughed as she pinched Elliot's reddened cheek. "The girls will be so heartbroken. Good lord I can't wait to see that!" She said that more to Becky, who just laughed. “We should buy popcorn.”