Somewhither: A Tale of the Unwithering Realm (24 page)

“Why can’t they read your horoscope, and see you are fooling them?”

“The stars will not ordain that they should have cause to think to do so, until such time as I no longer serve the stars rightly. Fate is fated.”

“Yeah, but if you can fool them, what makes it so that I cannot fool you?”

Enmeduranki said, “Why would the stars wish you to fool me? You do not serve them and bow to them. I do. Aeon after aeon, world upon world, I put to their power. You oppose them, or so you say. Your words are bold, but meaningless. Tell me how a man fights the stars? What spear is tall enough to touch them? What weapon can wound them?”

I crossed my arms. “Tell me who made the stars and I will tell you how to fight them.”

He blinked, so I kept talking.

“Do your stars have a birthdate? Can you cast their horoscopes? When was the nativity of the cosmos, when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of light shouted for joy of their Creation? Declare it, if you know so much!”

He glanced at his golden compass, or pocketwatch thingie, or whatever it was, and then said, “The time for speculative prattle is done. Now let us discuss your fate. Our conquest of your world is imminent. Already a sea-gate great enough for our navies is prepared, our ironclad submersibles and the cavalry of sea-monsters. My servant, Anshargal, Great King and the Warrior-Prince Who Binds the Heavens, who wears the crown of stars and the prismatic robe of Nimrod, he wishes to know the conditions of your world, that the impediments foretold may be smoothed away.”

I said, “How can there be impediments? You say you foresee all.”

He said, “Nothing was unforeseen. We waited patiently through the long-foreseen delays caused by the
Kuliltukassaptillut
.”

I almost did not catch the word he used. The magic ability he had to make himself understood did not mean I could make out words muttered or uttered in angry haste. Kuliltukassaptillut was two words,
Kuliltu kassaptu
which meant
fish-woman damsel of the enchantress tribe
, or
mermaid singer maiden
. Sea Witch.

There was a touch of anger in his voice, and for the first time, he sounded less weary, less certain. It was as if he suffered an emotion.

Had I said something he had not expected, not read beforehand? I don’t know.

So I laughed. “Sure! I’ll tell you! The conditions of my world are that we are going to kick your asses if you step foot there. So you have submersible ironclads, do you? Maybe armed with catapults? Equipped with ramming prows? We have transcontinental nuclear missiles. Those are flying rockets, things like towers made of metal, that sail through the sky from one side of the world to the other on a single leg of fire ….”

“I know what they are.” He drawled, bored again.

“Wha-what?”

“Other worlds we have conquered possessed such toys. Your missiles —” the word he used was
bel-mulmullu
, master-arrow, “— use the power of the stars, the power which comes from uncreating the smallest indivisible bits of matter, to burn whole cities at one blow. But these master-arrows must be launched before they fall, and ordered to launch by a launch-code, and the launch-code given by a man, and of each man we know his nativity and his acts, and the acts of his enemies to whom we can give this launch-code and anything else we know. Weapons mean nothing. Arms and armies mean nothing. Knowing means all things. The Dark Tower knows and foreknows.”

“If you can conquer my world so easily, why do you need my help?”

He did not answer.

I said, this time louder, “If the Dark Tower knows so much, how come you are here asking me questions?”

Again, no answer.

“As I left Earth, I saw one of your Invasion Machines fall out of the sky toward the sea. Now, I don’t know how long I was in the Bog Between the Worlds, but I guess a few hours, maybe a day. I am guessing that in that time, you opened a Moebius gate, pushed through a bunch of barges crammed with bowmen, and maybe some of your freaky-deakies with weird superpowers, and that the USS Nimitz stood twenty miles away, over the visible horizon, and dropped shells on you the size of Volkswagens, after hosing you down with napalm dropped from supersonic stealth fighters zipping by so high you did not see them either, and lighting your invasion up like so many charcoal briquettes. How is my guess? Is that about what happened?”

Above his veil, I saw his watery eyes crinkled like a grandfather smiling. He spoke in a slow voice, “Your guess is as far from what happened as is the highest star from a grain of sand at the bottom of the deepest sea.”

“There is no way you can beat us!”

“Youth, have you met any of the host that quaffs blood like wine? The Cold Ones? In their own aeon, any man they fix with their eye is beguiled. They were as proud of their invincible power as you are of yours, for there were none of their world who could stand against them. But they did not know their fate. They did not know their future.

“From the sea-gate we launched a heavier wayship into low Earth orbit, where neither lightning can strike nor wild wind disturb. The Moebius coil can also be used as a casement as well as a portcullis, and our Astrologers have gathered the visions of your stars and wandering stars as they shine on your world, and hence can estimate the influences.”

I said, “Conquering an entire world is impossible! The logistics alone make it absurd. Do you Bronze-Age barbarians have any idea how many people live on my —”

He interrupted me, “Counting the birthdates from the star positions, we calculate over seven billion individuals living on your globe.”

I stood there with my mouth hanging open.

Enmeduranki ignored me and continued blandly, “It strains even our abilities to cast all the horoscopes for every soul, but our actuarial calculation engines have made a preliminary map of those nations whose founding took place on recognizable nativity dates — yes, we can forecast the fates of tribes and peoples and states as well as of children. A skeleton of your world’s future is already known to the Great Council of Chaldaeans and Magicians. We will know more as our clerks complete their mathematic routines and the great engines meditate.

“We know that only the English-speaking nations have highly trained military forces capable of action on a global scale. The others cannot reach our orbital position.

“For pacification, the policy of the Great King demands one warrior for every ten thousand slaves, which requires a mere seven million men under arms for your world. And less, of course, depending on how many of your cities we raze and how many of your croplands we reduce, burn, and salt.

“But seven million is as nothing, I have the manpower of many worlds, many aeons, on which to call, including worlds much more crowded than your own.

“A technological world is far more fragile than an agrarian one, and can be reduced merely by destroying its ships and roads and complexities of machinery — without fuel for your mechanisms, how many days can your great cities survive with only those foods grown within walking distance, in amounts carried by horse and cart?”

“We have radar, and submarines, and jet aircraft, and intercontinental thermonuclear warheads. We have satellites that —” And then I stopped, astonished at my own stupidity.

He waved his hand in the air with the same gesture you’d use to brush a fly away. “You have satellites, but we read the rising and setting of planets, their motions in retrograde and prograde, conjunctions superior and inferior, triunes and oppositions. Child, we rule worlds who also command weapons as fearsome as yours, and their warriors can make the sky dark with terror, rendering the whole world bright with fire from pole to pole. I have said to you, your weapons and works are nothing to us: And I never lie.”

I spread my hands. “Fine. You know the future. You know everything. Why talk to me? Why ask me any questions at all?”

“I have answered. What I am fated to speak to you, I speak.”

“Then what are you afraid of from my world, if you are not afraid of our thermonuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles?”

“We fear nothing. The stars foretold that you are fated to answer certain questions. Have you Exorcists on your world? Have you Warlocks of the Ylem on your world? Have you Doorkeepers on your world or Doorwardens of the One-sided Circle?”

His word for doorkeeper was
babusippur
and for doorwarden was
babukanniksippur
. For a moment I did not catch the implications of the words until I said them again in my head as two words. The first was Door Warlock. The second word, Doorwarden, meant someone who shut a gate by magic. Literally it meant Door-sealing Warlock. One-sided Circle or
Istensehpgishur
was their word for what the Professor called a Moebius coil.

He was talking about the Ostiaries of the Knights Templar. He was talking about my dad.

That was not what creeped me out. I expected him to know about the Templars. Dad told me these people were his enemy, the ones who stopped him from finding Mom.

What creeped me out was his asking about exorcists. His word
sagamahu
meant not only an exorcist, but a sorcerer, a magician, an incantatory priest. With a shock, it came to me that my world
did
have incantatory priests. He does not have a very good singing voice, but Father Flannery chants the words at every Mass. Did priests perform exorcisms any longer? Or was that just in horror movies? Did Father Flannery know the rites and prayers for casting out demons? It stood to reason that he did. They must learn
something
useful at seminary.

Oddly, I was more afraid for Father Flannery than for my dad. He talked to me at Mom’s funeral, and afterward. I loved him. That these freaks should be hunting that harmless, absentminded old man made my heart burn.

I folded my arms again. “How does your future-seeing power work, again, exactly? You cannot foresee these exorcists and doorwardens, as you call them, or otherwise you would not ask about them. And the
ylemsippur
, the shadowmages?” Then I remembered that I had been called a shadowmage, too, because the Oobleck obeyed me.

In the little strip of face below his crown and above his veil, I saw the thin vertical line of a frown appear between his eyebrows. The thimble was getting warmer. I was not sure about exorcists, but there was one thing shadowmages and ostiaries had in common.

“You cannot see and foretell what happens in the Sea of Uncreation between worlds!” I said. “There are no stars there, nothing has a nature. That means when a warlock or wise man walks through the twilight, you lose track of him. Right? That means whatever I did in the twilight was hidden from you, every moment your gate was open. So you do not know how the twilight gates you flung into my world were destroyed, or how I got here to your world. Come on. ‘Fess up. You never lie. Tell me if I guessed right.”

His thin and weary voice grew strong and cold like iron when he answered me. “Your world has a small and secretive group of ostiaries, men who sail the twilight shallows of the ocean of Uncreation, and slip into other aeons as if by dreaming. They do not have engines like ours, which open the gates of twilight upon command as we can. They have a dim and uncertain knowledge of the greater universe. The man you call Father found you abandoned by the mother who bore you in the aeon we call Cainem — she had wearied of nursing you, and since you need no nourishment to live, threw you over her shoulder into a pit. The Host of the Undying Ones, having eaten the fruits of the gods, know no word nor thought of affection, duty, or fellowship as we who eat the bread of Earth know, we whose children perish without maternal love. Only if there are ostiaries in your adopted homeland could you have been brought to dwell there. You were not born in a world which has such engines and machines and works as the technomancers contrive. Have I guessed aright?”

His word
kalbanusipur-le’u
meant literally a magician skilled in the making of siege-engines. It was their word for scientist, but they thought science was wizardry.
Technomancer
is the closest word I can coin to express the idea.

I said: “Tell me, Crazy Freak Man in the Coffee Pot Hat, why you don’t just ask your stars to answer your question, if they know what is going to happen, everything I say, everything you will say back? Oh, wait, you told me: you do not want to have happen to you what happened to Oedipus. Because the stars punish you by cursing you if you defy them. Have I guessed right?”

That was the first thing I said that got a reaction from him. It was small, just a rustle of his robes, a tremble in his gloves, but it was something.

Something that annoyed him, that is. He made a small motion of his hand. A spear jumped out of the wall and hit me in the face.

The point of the spear did not pierce my brain, because I saw the silent motion from the corner of my eye, and I jerked my head to one side, but it caught my ear and tore it from my head, and a long bleeding strip of flesh was dangling past my face, and the force of the blow knocked me off my feet, and I was rolling toward the open hole leading to the long fall.

I really wish I could have kept my cool and stood there like The Fonz or John Wayne with a curl to my lip and a look on my face like I was saying ‘whatever’ when he struck me, but no. I was hurt, and scared of falling, so I screamed like a girl. I am not going to make any excuses — the fear came suddenly upon me like a mad tiger falling onto Mowgli out of a tree branch, okay?

Enmeduranki said in his weary, bored, sad little voice, “It is now time for me to tell you part of your horoscope. In three days' time, when Mercury enters the double conjunction with Venus and Mars beholding, we shall take to the place of torment the girl you love, the sea-witch born under the sign of Pisces.”

That kind of snapped me out of my hysteria, just because it was so weird, that I was trying to make sense of what he said, and so I forget that I was scared and missing an ear. Holding the side of my head with both hands, I stood and backed away from the cloud-filled hole.