Songbird (28 page)

I wrapped arms and legs around him and
holding tightly I wept.

Male voices woke me. I was still cocooned
around Nicholas but he was furiously whispering.

“I can’t tell you Bella’s past. I’m sorry,
Nicholas, but that’s not for me to tell.” Taylor sounded tired and
almost defeated. “I can tell you all the years I’ve known her she’s
never asked someone to hold her. When she’s ready to tell you
everything, she will. Be grateful that she hasn’t shut you out.
That’s her normal mode of defense.”

Nicholas snorted. “No fucking chance of
that.”

I sighed and spoke without moving, “I suppose
it’s too much to ask we all get along?”

“Hey.” Nicholas’s hand rose and stroked my
back. “How are you feeling?”

“Hollow.”

“I found a place that serves soup and
sandwiches. We’ve got you a turkey sandwich and some chicken rice
soup. If you’re hungry we can get it heated up for you.” Taylor’s
hand brushed my shoulder.

“How long was I out?” Slowly, because I did
feel hollow and frail, I opened my eyes and pulled away a little.
Nicholas stretched out on the sofa in the dressing room. He sat
upright a little against the arm and his outside leg was bent at
the knee and the foot rested on the floor. “You can’t be
comfortable.” I tried to push the rest of the way up but Nicholas
held tight.

“I’m fine.” His eyes searched my face in some
unspoken question.

I leaned up and pressed my mouth lightly to
his, without taking my eyes off him I addressed the matter of food,
“Taylor, the soup sounds good.”

After purging my stomach, I knew I needed
something. The sandwich sounded too heavy but the soup broth should
be okay.

“All right. I’ll be right back.”

I kissed Nicholas a little deeper after the
door closed. “Thanks for not losing it over my freak out.”

“Why did you freak out, Songbird?”

I sighed, and then curled back into
him—dammit I was still human. I felt safe there against him.
Telling him might be bearable if I listened to the steady beat of
his heart while I did so.

The hand on my back shifted to my ass and his
other linked fingers with mine. He didn’t pressure for more, so I
had a few minutes to listen to the steady strength of his
heart.

“I told you a lunatic killed Tyler.”

“Yeah.”

“We were the last ones out of the theater.
Tyler, Taylor, and I. Closing night of
The Red Queen
. I
wrote the production based on
Alice in Wonderland
but more
like the way
Wicked
was written.”

“Good book.” His fingers played with mine and
the casual touch gave me comfort.

“The roses, they were part of the prop for
one of the scenes. We were carting them out to donate them.” My
voice broke and I inhaled slowly and deep then let it out.

“Thank you for telling me.” Nicholas shifted
us and stroked my back again. “I get the rest. You don’t have to
relive it again.”

“I was so proud of that damned production.” I
squeezed my eyes shut forcing the tears back. “It wasn’t Dorian
Gray but just as phenomenally accepted. Tyler died because of it. I
nearly died. Taylor was badly injured.”

“Not your fault or the play’s.” Nicholas’s
hands squeezed gently. “Lunatics can’t be predicted.”

I didn’t have the strength or the courage to
tell him why it was my fault. Why I insisted on bearing the weight
of that albatross. I couldn’t—not yet.

“The lunatic is back.” My voice was muffled
into his shirt but the words were still clear.

“I get that. We’ll deal with it.”

“Just like that?”

Nicholas kissed the top of my head. “Just
like that.”

Waiting for the other shoe to drop fucking
sucked. With time to think about the cruel act I realized that’s
exactly what Benjamin wanted. He wanted me to wait; he wanted me to
wonder—wanted me to fear.

Benjamin wasn’t the brightest crayon. He
could get to me this once, but I wouldn’t play into his hands a
second time. Without Dad goading him on, Benjamin could be a
manageable bully.

My reaction had been poor. I hadn’t expected
to see those damned roses after all this time. The shock factor had
been a well applied slap. I doubted he had anything else as
punishing in his arsenal.

The lingering unease made focusing on
Nicholas, on the tour difficult. If Benjamin had any inkling that
Nicholas was important he’d change targets. I needed to step back.
I knew that.

I watched Nicholas play and the thought of
leaving squeezed my heart. Getting involved was a mistake I
unsuccessfully avoided. Being attached to Nicholas…that was even
worse.

When nothing happened in Albuquerque nerves
made me throw cautious glances over my shoulder. When we arrived in
Austin, I called Ezra after putting the guys to bed. I needed to
speak to an unbiased party that knew some—maybe all—the details. He
had told me in Nashville it was his job to know people. Let’s see
how well he actually knew me.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Ezra.”

“That’s not a happy voice.” His voice didn’t
sound too happy either. “What’s wrong now?”

I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. “My brother
showed up in Denver.”

Ezra paused for only a moment. “And?”

I huffed in frustration. “What do you mean
what? What am I going to do?”

“Manage the tour and shoot the fucker if he
comes close?” Ezra suggested.

I growled and flopped onto the sofa. “Really?
Just like that?”

“Just like that. You’re worrying over
nothing. You have the power to change the game board but you’re
letting him run it. Why is that?”

“I just want peace.”

“Peace isn’t handed to you on a platter,
Bianca. Peace has to be fought for then maintained.” His chair
squeaked slightly, as if he’d leaned as far back as it would go.
“You haven’t really had peace since leaving New York. You’ve been
retreating. So the new question is are you going to continue
retreating or are you going to put an asshole in his place?”

“You make it sound easy.” I wanted to scream
at his logic but apparently Ezra had done his research well. He
wasn’t wrong.

“It’s only as hard as you make it. And,” Ezra
cleared his throat, “I have it on good authority that Nicholas is
rather attached to you. Our boy is no push over. You need to have
more faith in him as well.”

I rubbed at tired eyes. “I can’t believe
you’re okay with this.”

“You’re both otherwise single, responsible
adults. The tour is running as smooth as predicted and you haven’t
killed each other yet. I consider all that good signs.”

“He annoys the hell out of me,” I
grumbled.

“Here’s a hint, Bianca. He’s supposed to. Get
some sleep.”

“I wanted to ask before now but, how many of
the tour reviews include some snippet or picture of me?”

Ezra cleared his throat again and guffawed.
Then coughed and I could swear he was shifting his feet.

I sighed. “All of them?”

“Pretty much. You were never meant to be an
anonymous person. You’re too vibrant for that.”

“I’ll deal with you when I get back. I’m
going to bed.”

“Good night, Bianca. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night.” I paced after hanging up. The
eleven hour drive hadn’t been ideal for thinking. Between the guy’s
snoring and Nicholas’s newfound clinginess, I didn’t have time to
think and consider.

I stood in the window and looked out over the
parking lot. The guys would sleep for a few more hours, then we’d
go to lunch. The rest of the evening was free for whatever.

I trailed a hand absently over the piano I
stood next too. Nicholas had insisted on having one in every suite
since Vegas. Maybe I would do some writing of my own.

The lone figure standing next to the buses
caught my attention. He turned and glanced up at the hotel and I
saw his face clearly. What was that saying? Speak of the devil?

The sight of him hadn’t done what the roses
had done. He looked older of course and Nicholas had more muscle
than he did. Benjamin wore casual summer clothes and at a first
glance seemed harmless enough.

Ezra’s words rang in my ears. Changing the
game board wouldn’t be easy or pleasant but it was up to me to do
it. No time like the present.

I didn’t bother getting dressed. Nicholas
liked me in his clothes so I often wore his tee shirts and sweats
on off days. Today was one of those days. I checked my guns, and
since Nicholas’s sweatpants and tees were loose enough tucked a
second holster at the small of my back. After making sure the guys
were still sleeping I wandered outside alone. The lecture later for
being out without security would be worth it if I could get
Benjamin to leave.

“I was wondering when you’d show your face.”
His back was to me and I watched him jolt and whirl around. I
lifted a brow and leaned casually against the front of the bus. I
curled my lip as bitterness rose in my throat. “Long time no see,
big brother
.”

“BB. Look at you.” He sneered. “Whoring out
again I see.”

“What do you want, Benjamin?”

“Did you like my flowers?”

My stomach tightened but I shrugged easily,
“I prefer fresh cut.”

His mouth twisted angrily and he stepped
forward.

I pulled my gun and pointed it. “Forgive me,
Benjamin, but I don’t trust you. For obvious reasons.”

“I’m family.” He growled. “You’ll respect
me.”

“I’m not required to. Especially since your
idea of respect was abuse.”

“You’re riding pretty high right now. Maybe
you need to be taken down a few notches.”

“There’s nothing you could do to me you
haven’t already threatened me with, Benjamin. But what the hell,
I’ll humor you. What’s your threat this time?”

“Feeling real big cause you have a gun. You
won’t be so big when your hot shot boyfriend drops you like hot
coals when I tell him your daddy fucked you senseless, and your
brother got you pregnant once upon a time.”

“I think Nicholas has more character than
that,” I spoke dryly though my pulse skittered. “Rape is rape, and
senseless is a good word since I was beaten to the point of
unconsciousness first. Let me help you out some. Nicholas knows I
was abused. It hasn’t changed his mind.”

“We love you,” he hissed and stepped forward
again.

Very deliberately I clicked off the safety.
“I don’t suggest coming any closer if you want to keep your
balls.”

“We love you.” His voice rose and sounded
almost pleading. “You are mine. You will always be mine.”

“No,” I spoke flatly, “I belong to myself. No
one else. Who I chose to share myself with is my decision, but they
don’t own any part of me.”

“Daddy taught you better than that. You need
to be reminded who’s boss.” He lunged and I jerked back and fired
without hesitation.

He howled as he slammed into me and knocked
us both to the ground. The gun slid across the asphalt disappearing
under the bus. I kicked out with my foot and pulled out the Ruger
from the corset as I rolled away.

“You fucking bitch.” He shoved to his knees
and clutched at his bleeding arm.

“Let that be a warning.” I remained crouched
with the Ruger pointed. “Stay the fuck away from me and mine. I
have no problems finishing what was started in New York.”

“Not sure where it came from.” The voice was
close but not close enough. I recognized it as Henry’s.

“You’re wanted in New York city for murder. I
think you need to cut your losses. If the rest of your sordid past
surfaces you could be detained for any number of things before
murder becomes an element. Assault, Grand Theft Auto, Grand
Larceny… Should I continue?”

“I will fucking kill you.” He shoved to his
feet.

“Not before I kill you. I promise you that.
Beat it, Benjamin. And don’t come back.”