Songbird (32 page)

Something was wrong with Nicholas. He’d
snapped for no reason twice already and had gulped down at least a
gallon of water only halfway through sound check.

“I don’t know what the hell has crawled up
his ass today.” Taylor crossed his arms and scowled.

“Let me take care of this.” I walked out to
the stage with yet another bottle of water. I gave the guys a look
and the relief on their faces was palpable. No one wanted to work
with Nicholas today.

“You’re breaking a rule.” I handed over the
bottle and took the empty one.

He stared over my shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“Nicholas. The rule. You’re required to talk
to me, remember? You’re obviously not fine. No one wants to be
around you today.”

“You’re standing here.”

“Because I care. Talk to me.”

His eyes finally drifted to mine and held.
After a long second he breathed a long exhale. “It’s nothing. I’m
tired, really tired. Makes me cranky.”

“I see that. But you had a five hour
nap.”

“Naps sometimes make it worse. I’m fine,
Songbird. Just outrageously tired. I don’t feel like being up here
today.”

“Tomorrow’s an off day.” I hoped that
reminder would help. “No work tomorrow or the day after
actually.”

His lips quirked without the dimple. He
couldn’t bluff me but I didn’t say so. “That will be nice.”

I reached out to touch his arm and he stepped
back holding out the now empty water. “Can I get another?”

“Sure.” Confused, I took the bottle and
walked away. Nicholas was officially acting out of character and I
would
get to the bottom of it.

He actively avoided me after sound check.
However I proved to be more resilient than his bladder. A couple of
gallons of water would do that. I waited for him to be in the
bathroom then barged in, locking the door behind me.

“Really, Songbird?” He looked over his
shoulder with a lifted brow. “I’m really not in fighting form right
now.”

“You haven’t been in form all day.” I crossed
my arms. “Are you tired of being with me?”

He blinked. “What?”

“You haven’t touched me all day. You haven’t
let me touch you all day. If you’re tired of me I deserve to know.”
I had decided on the most logical reason he was distant. “You can’t
call fatigue on that bullshit, because if that was the case you’d
use me as a body pillow. So what the fuck is the problem?”

He fish mouthed at me. I’d never seen him so
flabbergasted before. Even when I had described my marriage he
hadn’t looked so… shocked.

“I’m fine.”

I decided on the big guns and bit the tip of
my tongue to make my eyes water. “Maybe you’ve finally realized I’m
not the best fit for you.” The tears spilled over. “Maybe you just
don’t know how to tell me—”

That was as far as I got before I was pinned
against the door and silenced with his mouth. The heat pumping off
him wasn’t all passion and when I clamped my hands in his hair he
jerked back.

“You’re feverish, Nicholas.” I spoke quietly,
still holding him close by his hair.

“Fuck.” He dropped his head to my shoulder.
“Don’t tell the guys. All right? Tomorrow’s the off day. It’ll
pass.”

“You want me to hide the fact that you might
be really sick from the band?”

“Yes.” His hands spread over my hips then
down to rest against my ass. “It always starts with fatigue. I knew
when I woke up this morning. I usually get sick about the halfway
point.”

“Is this why you were avoiding me?”

He nodded against my neck. “Didn’t want you
to worry.”

“See how well that worked?”

“You stopped crying awfully fast.” His brows
drew together as he studied my face.

“Kind of hard to be sad and pissed with your
mouth fused to mine.” I kissed the top of his head. “Are you going
to be able to perform tonight?”

“Have to. Nearly sold out. I heard the vendor
guy talking to Taylor.”

“I don’t like it.” I pushed him back enough
to check his temperature the way mom’s have for generations, the
back of my hand to his forehead. “I want you to take something for
fever at least.”

“Do you have something you don’t have to run
out for?”

“I’ll send Juliette out. She’s discrete when
she needs to be.”

He sighed. “All right.”

The looks from Taylor and the crew were
ignored as best I could throughout the performance. During several
moments I held my breath and wrung my fingers together when
Nicholas sat on the monitor. I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to
get back up. But, we’d make it. He only had two songs left in the
set list.

I stood in the wings and watched his every
move. He was losing steam and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
He’d gone through even more water than before and not all of it
drunk but dumped over himself as well.

Since I was being a paranoid freak, I saw his
knees give out before he realized it. Without thinking about it, I
dashed out and caught him before he hit the stage decking. I wasn’t
strong enough to hold him up, but I was strong enough to make the
fall more of a float to the ground.

“Taylor.” I glanced over to him. He nodded
and started rapidly giving orders.

Arc and Guy jogged over and knelt beside us.
Arc unbuckled the guitar strap and took the guitar handing it to a
crew member that appeared. When Max appeared he knelt down and
touched Nicholas’s brow.

“Bound to happen sooner or later,” He
muttered. “Guy.”

Guy nodded and strode to the microphone.
“Hello ladies and gentlemen.”

“Guy I love you.” One brave soul shouted in
the silence.

Guy pointed in her direction, “That is a
smart lady.”

The crowd gave a nervous laugh.

“So, Nicholas being the stubborn ass that he
is…” The crowd laughed again, “Thought he could put on a full
performance while burning with fever. Like he’s Captain America or
some shit.” Another laugh. “While we figure out whether or not he
can finish the last two songs I encourage everyone to visit the
merchandise booth or the bathroom. Whichever seems more important
to you at this time.”

“I can finish,” Nicholas couldn’t open his
eyes even as he murmured his protests.

“Nicholas, you’ve got most of the concert
done. There’s no need to tempt fate.” I wiped the cloth Juliette
handed me over his brow and face. “We can do an instrumental ending
tonight. It’s not a huge deal.”

“No.” His hand came up and his eyes finally
opened. “I can finish.”

“Nicholas, you don’t have the strength
to.”

“You can play guitar right?”

I shook my head. “I play piano and some
drums. Taylor plays guitar.”

“Drums, really?” His smile was faint but
present. “We’ll visit that later. He can play the part needed for
the last songs. Christ knows he’s listened to them often enough in
the last week. I’ll sit on the stool and sing. Hell, I’ll even let
you hover at my elbow but I’m finishing this concert.”

I looked up at Arc. “Get the stool. We’ll be
arguing forever. It’s just best to let the child have his way.”

“Thanks, Songbird. Help me up?”

I sent Roadster ahead with Dolls of Serenity
on their heels since Obi was waiting but kept Bandwagon in Dallas.
Oklahoma City was only a three hour drive. Leaving the night of the
last off day wasn’t going to change anything in the schedule.

Nicholas was mostly out of it by the time we
got back to our hotel suite. Like day one when I had to dress him,
the task now was undressing him, getting him washed and into bed.
By the time I was done with that I was just as exhausted.

After checking on the guys I stripped down
without bothering with pajamas and put my guns under my pillow
before crawling into bed with Nicholas. He rolled automatically and
pulled me into his arms. I would definitely tease him later about
the cuddling. Smiling I drifted to sleep.

Something woke me. Nicholas breathed easily
under me, his arms still where he had wrapped them after I crawled
into bed. I glanced around slowly as my eyes adjusted to shapes and
dark. If Nicholas hadn’t shifted… The black barrel of a gun caught
the light from the alarm clock.

I jerked upright. “What—“

A hand wrapped in my loose hair and dragged
me from the bed and to the floor. Nicholas jerked awake as I was
pulled from him and pushed up but froze when he saw the gun pointed
at his chest.

“She was mine first.” Benjamin growled and I
closed my eyes.

I knew, I just
knew
he wouldn’t stay
away. By the sound of his voice he’d been drinking. Benjamin had
always thought himself above the law, but when adding alcohol to
the mix there was no reasoning with him.

“Don’t move, pretty boy, and she won’t watch
the life bleed out of you too.” Benjamin looked down at me and his
foot connected hard with my bare ribs. “You put him in jail. You
should have known this was coming. All we asked of you was to take
care of your family. We took good care of you.”

“He got caught, Benjamin. I couldn’t save
him.” I kept my voice calm though the rest of me shook with fear
and my stomach roiled.

“You didn’t have to testify.” Benjamin kicked
me again.

The bed shifted and I glanced to see Nicholas
had moved to the edge of the mattress. Even in the dim light, I
could see the sweat on him from fever. Benjamin’s gun swung back in
his direction. Nicholas froze.

“You stay there, pretty boy. This is a family
matter. We adopted her. We gave her everything, and she betrayed
us. It has to be paid back.” The butt of the gun came down against
my face.

I cried and tried to huddle away from his
attack. He struck twice before Nicholas’s movement caught his
attention enough to swing the gun back. “I said stay the fuck
there.”

“Benjamin, he’s not part of this. Let me get
a shirt on, we’ll go talk.” Maybe if I stayed calm I could persuade
him to be kind. Not likely, but I needed to get him away from
Nicholas.

“I’ve seen you naked before. Have you
forgotten that too?” Benjamin yanked my hair hard pulling my head
back against his knee. I didn’t lift my hands to protest; I didn’t
want to do anything that could set him off in a blind rage. Bad
things happened when Benjamin disappeared into temper.

“We got to be her first, Daddy and me.”
Benjamin’s tone was pleasant, gentile as if having a discussion
over tea. “I even planted a good one in her but the stupid bitch
had an abortion. She tell you that?”

I couldn’t look at Nicholas. The details had
never been discussed. What words could have been used for something
like that? The tears slipped through my tightly closed eyes. My
life was once again falling to shit because of the men I had once
called family.

“Daddy tied her down for that, you know, to
make it more comfortable for her.” Benjamin went on.

“Yeah, I can see how making rape easier would
be more comfortable for her.” Nicholas’s voice dripped with
sarcastic fury though it wasn’t as strong as it could have
been.

“It wasn’t rape.” Benjamin’s hand tightened
even more on my hair as he shrieked. “We love her. She
is
ours.”

“Pulling her hair, beating, and kicking her
is a funny way to show love.” Nicholas’s lip curled. “What’s next?
You going to force your cock in her mouth? I hope she bites it
off.”

Benjamin had done that before and baiting him
into doing it with Nicholas watching was not the greatest idea.
However, if Benjamin were going to even attempt it, he’d either
have to let go of my hair or the gun. Either way, there would be a
chance to disarm him and call for Henry.

“She likes it rough.” Benjamin grinned and
pointed the gun at my chest. Then he frowned. “You’re still
carrying that extra weight around. What did we tell you about
that?”

“I’m sorry.” Really, what else could I say to
a madman?