Songs of the Earth (8 page)

I sat at my desk in my office and stared down at the scored wood. I was pissed off and incredibly sad at the same time. I couldn't trust myself to be around others right now. When it rains, it fucking pours. My father wasn't my father. My brother wasn't my brother. I wasn't who I thought I was. Several things made sense that hadn't before, and my life was now ten times more dangerous. I had to decide what I was going to do. It felt as if precious time was slipping away from me and something ominous was looming on the horizon. Decisions I made now wouldn't affect only me but all Lycans.

My cell phone rang and I looked at the display. It was Elder Janus Koller. I wasn't sure it was a good time to speak to him, but it appeared I was going to need more help than I'd thought. I was running out of options. Janus had been a friend and I'd never had reason to doubt him until MacCuill showed up at my door.

"Elder Koller." I tried to sound cool but receptive. I almost snorted. Who was I kidding?
"Tristan, how are you?" The elder sounded tentative.
I let out a tired breath. "Janus, I'm not in the mood for pleasantries right now."
"All right, son. I've interviewed the warriors who accompanied Caspian MacCuill to your home. They told me everything. They said you defended yourself with Alpha Bond and then exposed the Caduceus you bear on your chest. The men had no doubts about your bloodline after the snakes detached themselves from you. I asked them not to share the information with anyone and I won't say anything to the rest of the council until you direct me otherwise."
Janus paused and when he started talking again, he sounded relieved. "Thank you for finding a solution to sparing the warrior's lives. You had every right to kill anyone who invaded your territory. The law would have backed you up. I appreciate the generosity and mercy you gave them." The elder huffed angrily into the phone. "I didn't know what the Magi were up to and it seems neither did the Order of Anat. The captain responsible for authorizing the faked council request for the retrieval of Ushna has been remanded to custody until you can attend the trial." Janus gave a weary sigh. "I don't know what I can do to gain back your trust, Tristan. Someone used my name to cause you to mistrust me. I can't prove to you I didn't have anything to do with what happened. I've been a friend of your family for years and you're like a son to me. The last thing I want is for you to be hurt. So this is what I've done: I've let everyone in my office go. I've disconnected all my files from the council's mainframe and moved out of the council building to a location only you'll know about. I've called in a couple of favors and I'm pulling in two people I know you'll trust, Stan Kendall and Jory Swaine."
I couldn't help but smile. Stan and Jory had gone off to college before I found Theo. I'd missed the hell out of them. Over time, contact with them had become a random phone call or e-mail. We still received a letter around the holiday season. The knowledge they were coming back, that we'd be together again, felt so right my whole body hummed with pleasure.
"They're really coming back?" I asked, trying to tamp down my excitement.
"Yes, I've already spoken to them and they're closing their business to return," he affirmed.
"I want them here on the ranch with me," I said.
There was a pause. "They'll work for me, Tristan," Janus cautioned.
"That's fine. I'll make sure they have secure accommodations but I want them here with us. I want them close."
The elder was silent for moment. "All right. I'll work it out. I'd like to spend several days with you, go over some of the responsibilities you'll take on as Prince. Should I call Nathan? It will be hard for him to keep his lineage under wraps when your revelation gets around. Nathan may not want to acknowledge it, but he is the king."
"There is no need for you to call Nathan." So much had changed in a few days, the last couple of hours. "I'll have to talk to Ushna about your visit first. If he's satisfied with the precautions you've taken, my captain, Corey Bahar, will contact you to make arrangements."
"Do you want me to speak to Shay Thomlain, General of the Anat Warriors?"
"No. I'm sure he's already received a report from the warriors, and he hasn't contacted me yet about those who stayed with me. I'll let Corey handle the Warrior's Order for now."
"Tristan, you don't trust the general?" the elder asked.
Was I going to trust Janus or not? I wanted to, but if I wrongly placed my faith in him and Ushna was hurt, retribution would be vicious and swift. Not that it would matter. If I lost him, I would soon follow him after someone paid me in blood.
I needed allies, I needed resources, and I didn't have the luxury of being paralyzed with indecision. I'd have to find a way to better protect Ushna.
"Elder, if you want me to take you into my confidence you must understand one thing. If you betray me and Ushna is hurt, there won't be a place on this world for you to hide. I'll kill you."
"Tristan," the elder said in shock, "what has happened to change you so much? I'd take any oath you put before me if it would assure you of my allegiance."
Instinct told me the elder spoke the truth, just like it had warned me of MacCuill. I made a decision and told Janus about Nathan's account of my birth and the assassins. Understanding now that Nathan wouldn't be king, events started to fall into place for Janus. The elder promised to search the council library to see if there was any information regarding this group.
"Oh, and Janus, when you come to see me, I'll accept your Blood Oath."
I hung up with the elder. I stared at the desk, running my fingers over the grooves I'd made with my claws. I didn't remember ever being as happy as I'd been with Ushna these last few weeks. Despite all the changes, with his support, I could overcome any challenge.
I'd been such a burden to him for so long, and I desperately wanted to be worthy of his love, earn his regard.
The door opened and Ushna came in, looking at me closely as he perched on the desk. I leaned back to regard his handsome face. I told him about my conversation with the Goddess and Randy that morning. Then I recounted my phone conversation with Elder Koller.
"Now there are assassins," I said. "The Magi I could handle, because they're in plain view. But assassins could be anybody, anywhere. I don't know what to look for. How am I going to protect you, or anyone else, if I can't protect myself? Every passing day seems to add more danger to our lives. I don't want to lose you."
Please don't leave me.
I wheeled my chair between Ushna's legs and ran my hands up his thighs.
Ushna cupped my face, running his thumb over the top of my cheekbone. "The first thing you need to realize is you're not alone. You don't have to stand against any of this by yourself. You have more resources now. Together, we'll learn how to utilize them to make everyone safer. Running and hiding was a poor strategy. The Lycans have been living without their king for too long. There's a group of assassins who've been working covertly to eliminate your family and they've almost succeeded. Keeping it quiet hasn't done your family any favors, and it's cut you off from potential allies. If we expose them, and make people aware of the danger that's been living among them, I think you'll find more support than you can imagine."
He ran his calloused hands through my hair. "So the question becomes, do you stay, be the king the people need, or do we pack our bags and leave?"
"You'd stay with me if I became king? I don't want to leave our people. I'm willing to take on anything that's coming, but I don't know if I can do it without you." I leaned in and rested my forehead on his stomach.
"Now who's being foolish? I've been by your side all my life, Tristan. There is nothing that could drive me off." He fisted my hair and gently tugged my head back to meet his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, no matter how dangerous things become. You and me, Tristan… you and me always. Got it?"
I gave Ushna my best smile. "Yeah," I said grinning past the emotion caught in my throat.
"Good. Corey is already working on our security and defense. The men will carry walkie-talkies until we can get security kits and ear pieces. He has contacted a company to set up perimeter sensors and infrared. I told him to go ahead and make calls to warriors he has confidence in. I gave him a list of men I trust. If luck is on our side, we won't have any major issues before reinforcements get here. Nathan is making arrangements to get us money. I sent Neesie with Gregori to look into adding housing to the property. They're not to make any decisions until they run it by us first."
I lifted Ushna's shirt and kissed the lustrous white scales of his snakes.
"The Goddess is right," he said gravely. "You're the only royal and you need to have children."
Okay. It wasn't that I didn't like children, because I did. But I'd always been able to give them back when I was finished playing with them. I knew nothing about pregnancy, what to feed babies, how to change a diaper. I knew none of it and I'd always been okay with that.
"So, what do you think about being the one to possibly carry our child?" I asked. There was the longest pause and I looked up into Ushna's serious face.
"Our child," he whispered with such hopeful reverence.
It made me catch my breath. I'd only considered my own feelings on the subject. I hadn't thought about what he would want. Watching him, I reconsidered. A child would be the best of us both. We could have a boy with his blueblack hair or a girl with his emerald eyes. In my mind's eye, I could see them and something in me twisted and changed.
"Tristan, the thought of having children with you…" His voice caught and I knew I couldn't deny him.
"I know." I rubbed my scent onto his stomach.
"Though if we can choose who carries, then I think it should be you." Ushna quickly put a hand over my mouth. "Hear me out. If I carry, you're going to keep putting yourself between me and jeopardy. I know you're compelled to do so. Now that you're going to be king, you cannot put yourself in danger. Your duty is to your people and to keep yourself safe. If you carry, then Corey and I can concentrate the security on you instead of dividing it between you and me."
It was perfectly logical. "You have to promise to stay by me. No running off into battle or fighting. You stick to my side no matter what. I'm telling you right now, if you die, king or not, I won't live without you. If you expect this thing of me then you'll always be by my side."
Ushna straddled me in my chair, kissing the breath out of me. "My job is to protect you, always. You're not allowed to run into danger either. We will do this together."
"I'll try."
He squinted, his eyes full of fire, lips pursed thin. "What do you mean you'll try?"
"Ushna, you're the only person who really knows me. Would I keep a promise that I wouldn't run into danger?"
His hand tightened in my hair. "You're going to make me an old man before my time."
I gave him a weak smile. As much as I'd love to make that promise to him, I couldn't.
"Fine. I'll have to make sure I'm glued to you, because I won't allow you to leave my side."
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "All right, you and I, like white on rice." Ushna growled at me, only to chuff at the end. "So this is where we do the whole parentplanning thing? I opt for sex first and planning later," I said suggestively.
He smothered a laugh against my lips. I didn't mind at all.
"The question is, when would be the best time to have a child?" he said when he'd released my lips.
I blinked at him a couple of times to focus, "Um… isn't it a rhetorical question? It's never a good time to have a baby."
"Says who?"
"Ah, the women on
The View
." Girls were supposed to know about these things. It's what they did. Right?
"Really?" Ushna pressed his lips together. "So when do you watch
The View
?'
"I didn't say I did," I quickly interjected. "The point being"—I scowled at him to make sure he was following the conversation—"when will life get easier for us? When will we be sure we're safe?"
By the way Ushna was grinning at me, I knew he wasn't going to let my TV viewing habits go. He was storing the information away for later. "Well, we're now aware of the assassins but they may not be aware of you yet. If we go public and put them in the spotlight, we could use our resources to keep you safer. It would be easier to identify and hunt members of this group. We know we may have problems with the Magi, but we're not sure if it was only MacCuill who was involved, or if there are more."
Ushna wasn't going to like this but I couldn't take it back now. "I sort of sent a message to the Magi Order." I looked everywhere except at my lover. He was still straddling me and didn't seem inclined to move. Maybe if I pushed at him a little, he'd get the hint and get up?
"What message?" he asked cautiously.
Damn it! I looked into Ushna's beautiful bi-colored eyes and confessed. "I had Caspian's head boxed and delivered to Kevah Kortdad's office. I had the body hung in the courtyard of the Magi College."
"Tristan," Ushna barked. "What was the message?"
My chest constricted as I remembered the shocking color of Ushna's dark hair in sharp contrast to his pale bloodless face and his lifeless body bleeding beneath my hands on the living room floor. Blood, so much fucking blood, was coming out of his chest, painting his clothes, staining my hands. For a brief moment, I felt again the rage, the fear. "No! I won't apologize!" I pushed at his legs, trying to get him off me. "I had your blood all over me." I pushed harder at his legs. He needed to get off!
"Tristan. Tristan." He grabbed my hands. "What was the message?"
"I told Kevah I would destroy him!" I roared. "I told him I didn't think MacCuill acted alone, and I'd hold him personally responsible if you were ever kidnapped or harmed. I warned him to not approach anyone in my tribe without my express permission." My eyes burned and my whole body shook with repressed emotion as I fought against his hold on me. "I'll kill him," I said more to myself than to him.
Ushna stood and jerked me to my feet, and before I could pull away, he quickly trapped me in his arms. "Calm down, Tristan," he whispered. "Calm down." He made shushing noises.
Through the constriction in my chest, the lump in my throat, and the irritation in my eyes, I tried to breathe normally. "I'll kill him," I said into his neck, clutching the back of his shirt in my fists.
"I know," he replied in a soothing voice as he slowly maneuvered us across the room to the couch without releasing me from his bruising grip.
As we lay there on our sides facing each other, I slowly stopped shuddering and my breathing became more even, but when I closed my eyes I could see all the blood: bright, glistening, and ruby red.
"Are you okay now?" Ushna asked, his voice low and husky.
I gazed at his face, tanned and stubbled, and his eyes soft and liquid. I would never love anyone as much as I loved this man. "I'm sorry I disappointed you."
Little crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes as he brushed my hair across my forehead. "You didn't. I wouldn't have done any different. We have to anticipate Kevah's next move. Did you have the same message placed with the body?"
I gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I had the two warriors who took the message guard the body for twentyfour hours so no one could take it down before the message was seen."