Soothing His Madness (13 page)

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Authors: Debra Kayn

BOOK: Soothing His Madness
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Chapter Twenty Four

Three days after
the merge of colors with Lagsturns, Slade announced he put himself on the
schedule to work at the Garage and Taylor convinced Slade it was perfectly safe
for her to go back to work at Cactus Cove. She leaned over the open dishwasher
and flipped the silverware pointy end up after asking the boys to put away
their dishes this morning before Slade drove them to school. Being back in a
semi normal routine put her in a good mood.

She hummed as she
cleaned, stooping over to pick up a stray matchbox car. Hands circled her hips
and dragged her back to a hard body. She peered over her shoulder and welcomed
the sight that greeted her. Slade's eyes grew darker, and a lazy smile signaled
his arousal. The proof of his desire pressed into her backside.

"I like coming
home and seeing you in the kitchen." Slade moved against her.

She stayed bent
over and held on to the counter. "Yeah? Is this a biker thing or a man
thing?"

"It's my
thing." He grinned, caressing her hip, her thigh, and holding on.

"I'm working
day shift and you have twenty minutes to get to work, honey." She almost wished
they had one more day together without going back to their jobs, so they could
chill at home while the kids were gone. Things were going good between them. She
just wanted more because when it came to him, she'd never have enough.

He left her body, and
then he had her in the air and in his arms. She held on, and laughed when he
marched down the hall. She squealed when she hit air again and landed on the
bed, followed by Slade's weight between her legs, pinning her down.

"You're going
to be late," she said.

He moved down her
body and for a blink, she was afraid he was going to stop what he was doing.
Then he undid her jeans and pulled them, along with her panties, off her in one
swoosh. He settled again between her legs, this time using his mouth on her.
Her muscles lost the will to work and she melted. The suction, the heat, the
velvety texture of his tongue hypnotized her.

Slade held her in
place, and she could no more move or speak to voice her concerns over him being
late to work. Pleasure warmed and spread from her sex to her limbs. She was
floating. No, she was flying. Flying on a one-way ticket to a place only Slade
knew the location to.

He growled against
her, his lips vibrating against her clit. She reached down and fisted his hair,
holding him captive, begging him silently to keep doing what he was doing between
her legs. She couldn't tell where he was going next. It was a lick, a suck, a
nibble, and then his tongue.
Oh, God.

That tongue of his
was driving her crazy. Her muscles spasmed, and she arched her back trying to
keep her orgasm at bay, but her insides coiled, pushing her over the edge, and
she…

"Slade."
She slid her hand between his mouth and her sex, covering her sensitive flesh
as her body trembled. "I can't…"

He pushed up until
he kneeled on the mattress and flipped her over onto her stomach, laughing when
she squealed in surprise. She braced her hands and knees on the mattress,
panting and hot.

"Yeah, baby
girl, you can," he said.

His hand trailed
along her ass and gave her a swat. She jolted and shifted her body backward,
laying her head on the mattress, her ass in the air. Her body recovered from
her orgasm, and heated up again from the vulnerable position.

He took that moment
to plunge into her wetness. She cried out from the shock, the sensitivity, the
freak-tastic feeling of Slade filling her.

Slade stilled his
body. "Let me take a look at you, baby girl."

She peered over her
shoulder, barely able to speak. Slade posed behind her. His eyes on her face,
and the savage desire she was feeling stared back at her. He might never say
the words
I love you
, but there was no denying that look. The one he
only gave to her. The one that said she was his and no one was going to take
her away from him.

He pulled out,
pushed in, and stroked her with his cock. "That's it."

Dizzy and wanting,
she panted through each thrust. She curled her fingers in the blanket and
braced against the rhythm. He sped up, his grip on her hips tightened, and his
mouth opened slightly with his breathing. The sight of him high and losing
control gave her another orgasm. Her pussy spasmed around him and in this
position, the exquisite sensation curled her toes and left her weak.

Slade plunged on a
groan and heat filled her insides as he came. She laid her head back down on
the mattress. Exhausted. Content. Satisfied.

He pulled out of
her and walked to the bathroom. When he returned, she rolled over and sat on
the edge of the bed, too lazy to put on her panties and jeans. His eyes
softened, and he leaned over and kissed her.

"Always make
time for us, baby girl. Always." He stroked her face, and added,
"Promise you that."

She caught his hand
and clutched it to her chest. "Honey, I need to tell you something."

There were a
million things she'd done, or thought of, or wanted to do, but she'd held off
long enough because Slade was going through some heavy shit.

She had to tell him
how she was feeling, so he'd know. Whether paying off Ray was selfish on her
part, because she wanted to hold on to Slade longer or an act of doing what was
right, because Slade deserved his children in his life…the reason no longer
mattered.

"I love
you," she said.

The breath went out
of him and his shoulders slumped. She forged ahead, because no matter what he
thought, he had to know what she was feeling.

"I know you
might not be in the same position as I am in our relationship." She held
up her hand when his mouth opened. "No, please. I jumped into this
relationship knowing it was all about sex and I can't lie, it's something
bigger to me. I don't want you to think it's all about what happens to us when
we're in bed. It's so much more. All I ever wanted is you. At first I wanted to
beat down the barrier you surround yourself with, and then without even trying,
you let me experience the most wonderful emotions ever. Ups and downs and crazy
shit made me feel like I was insane without you. Every minute of the day, I'm
consumed by everything associated with you, the club, Cactus Cove, my home, my
dreams, your kids, and our life. Do you know your shirts smell of grease and
mountain breeze? I know this, because I tried every laundry detergent at the
store until I could find the right scent, and then I used it on my clothes,
because when you weren't around, I still wanted you with me. It's not the same,
but it's enough for me to know you're near, and if I can close my eyes, I
imagine it's you holding me when it's really the shirt I'm wearing."

"Baby
girl—"

"I know, it's cracked
and you probably think I'm insane. I even called my parents and pretended our
living together is something more. In my head, I make-up the perfect life for
us where everything is okay. It's not okay. Our life is fucked up. You're a
biker, you have an ex-wife that should care about your children, and doesn't.
Jodie has a husband that's a loser and took your money, and the mafia is trying
to take over our town and despite how much it all scares me to death, I can't
think of a single place I'd rather be than right here with you." She
inhaled swiftly. "So, yeah, I love you, and I don't care what you do with
that bit of information, but I hope you hold it inside of you and always
remember, I'm here…and if that makes me sound needy and desperate, then yeah,
I'm that too because I love you…I love you with all my heart."

Slade sat down
beside her and let his hands dangle between his thighs. She sat stiffly, wound
up on confessing her love, and fighting the urge to take it all back to protect
her heart. Or, maybe it'd be better just to fall down on the ground and beg him
to say something, anything, to let her believe she was doing the right thing
and they belonged together.

"You're right.
My life's fucked up. I've failed my kids, but I will die fighting for them
because inside—he thumped his chest with his fist—they are a part of me."
He looked at her. "That goes for you too. I will fight and kill to keep
you with me."

The pain and
frustration in his emotionally roughened voice prickled the back of her neck.
She reached out and put her hand on his thigh. He looked down at her hand on
his leg and placed his hand over hers as if he wanted to protect and shield
her.

"I know you
would, honey, and I would never ask you to kill anyone for me," she said.
"I do know you care about me."

"You don't get
it. There always been a part of my heart that remained empty. My kids can't
fill it. Belonging to the MC can't fill it. My job can't fill it. Half the time,
I've got demons at my back, because things don't go my way. I fight the system,
fight for what's right, fight for my family, and the madness swells and
contaminates everything I touch." He brought her hand up to his mouth and
placed his lips on the back of her fingers. "Then you show up, and I feel
like I can handle whatever is thrown at me. You're there when I need you,
touching me when I need touched, talking when I just want to listen to the
nonsense that comes out of your mouth about pink bathrooms and thigh high
boots—which I love on you but, baby girl, I don't give a damn about boots. It's
your voice that calms me, so I let you keep rambling."

"Honey, you're
doing your own rambling." She swiped at her cheeks, brushing at the tears
that escaped. "You don't have to tell me."

"Should've said
this all a long time ago. Between taking Jodie to court to try and gain custody
and keeping you secret for fear Jodie would use our relationship against me, I
held how I felt about you inside too long." He leaned over and put his
forehead against hers, and whispered, "I love you. You, baby girl, fill
that empty spot in my heart."

"I do?"
she whispered back.

"Yeah. So much,
it hurts inside when I can't give you what you deserve. But, I swear, I'm going
to make that happen. Once we take care of the problem with Los Li and the kids
settle in again, it's going to be all about you, the kids, and me. I
promise." Slade kissed her.

She sighed against
his lips. All the love in her body threatened to explode. She wanted to tell
Tori, Crystal, and Ginger. She wanted to bring the boys home from school and
share with them how great their dad was and how much she loved him.

"I love you,
but—she groaned and wrinkled her nose—you better go to work. You're running
late."

He threw back his
head and laughed. A laugh he seldom shared. One she'd only heard a few times
and each of those times, it was when he was with his kids and surrounded with
everything he loves.

 

Chapter Twenty Five

A quarter of the
Bantorus members hung out around their motorcycles in the parking lot of Cactus
Cove. Slade leaned against the seat of his Harley and crossed his ankles. Going
by the smiles and the low-key attitude from the bikers, it wasn't the Los Li
who drew them out of the bar.

Kurt peeked out of
the front door, waved, and grinned in conspiracy. He lifted his chin in reply.
The boys swore they'd keep his secret, and they knew tonight was too
significant to share with Taylor. He'd involved them with the tradition,
because he wanted them to understand he didn't make his decision lightly. What
he planned to do was a lifelong commitment.

Taylor pushed
through the door, searching for him. He remained on his seat. In all his years,
he never thought he'd have this moment. Not even with Jodie, who gave him a
loud
no
when he asked the one and only time.

Her eyes found him,
and a smile broke out on her face. His chest warmed. Nothing, not the biggest,
baddest, panhead engine would ever fill him with the love he gets from his
woman happy to see him.

She hurried over
and stopped in front of his motorcycle. "What's going on?"

He stood and pulled
her to him, kissing her hard, and leaving her breathless. His own heart
thrummed against his chest as he stepped around his bike, picked up the new
black half-helmet he purchased earlier in the day, and moved back in front of
her.

Her eyes rounded.
He moistened his lips, wanting to take her in his arms and never let her go and
yet, knowing he needed to ask her the most important question to ever come out
of his mouth. It was a one shot deal.

"Taylor…,"
he whispered. "Will you be the first and only woman to ride behind me for
the rest of my life?"

"Holy
shit," she mumbled.

He chuckled, loving
that he could do one thing that rocked both their worlds and change their path
to going forward. Others might believe marriage was the ultimate sacrifice—a
sign of forever, but to every man in the MC, a sign of a woman on the back of
his Harley Davidson was bigger than any piece of paper. Club rules forbid
girlfriends and bitches to ride with a member, and only an old lady had a place
on the seat.

"Are you
serious?" She placed her hands on his stomach.

The silence outside
from the members, watching, listening, and waiting for the outcome heightened
the suspense. She was killing him.

"No woman has
ever put her ass on my bike before." He lowered his voice. "And no
woman, but you, ever will. This is it, baby girl…say yes."

"Yes."
She threw her arms around his neck and spoke in his ear. "Absolutely
yes."

He held her off the
ground, tight to his chest. "Damn glad to hear that."

"I can't
believe you." She pulled back, still in his arms, and smiled the most
beautiful smile he'd ever seen. "Finally."

"Finally,"
he repeated, setting her feet on the ground.

He softly pushed
her hair back from her face and put her new helmet on her head. "The guys
are going to watch the kids. First riders will escort us to a back road where
we can have some privacy. You ready to roll?"

She nodded. He
moved away and straddled the motorcycle. When he had the kickstand up, the
engine on, he held out his hand. She slipped her fingers into his, and climbed
onto the seat behind him with the grace of someone born to ride.

Her arms came
around him, and she plastered herself to his back. He pulled down his stocking
cap in an attempt to shield his big ass smile. If the guys weren't waiting for
him and they weren't short on time, he'd sit in the parking lot to enjoy the
new sensation of having his woman on his bike.

He pulled out of
the parking lot, and the first riders moved into position. Rain rode beside
Slade, while Ronny, Jedman, Raul rode behind him. Torque, missing from the
lineup, was back at the bar obeying doctor's orders to stay off his bike until
his shoulder healed.

The warmth from
Taylor's legs wrapped along the outside of his hips comforted him. He pressed
on the throttle, going faster. Her arms relaxed and settled on his stomach. The
ache between his shoulders eased and he became aware of her breasts against his
back.

"Lean with
me," he yelled into the wind.

The road turned to
the left and he took the curve aware of Taylor's position. He glanced at Rain,
grinned, and kept riding. His girl was a natural. She moved with his body and
remained relaxed. Even her legs stayed in position.

The sun broke away
from the clouds at the same time the back road appeared in front of them. He
put his hand down and waved off the others right before turning down the
asphalt lane. He slowed the bike, and took his time. The lane was only three
miles long, but it was the only way he could ride alone with her while the
club's safety was in question. Alone and without any witnesses, he stroked the
outside of her leg with one hand while controlling the Harley.

Taylor hands came
off his stomach and rubbed the top of his thighs. She spoke, but he couldn't
hear her over the engine.

He turned his head
to the side. "What?"

"Can we
stop?" she asked.

He nodded, slowing
down. He should've known she wasn't used to riding. It took weeks to get used
to the seat and she'd worked the afternoon shift. The excitement of taking time
for only them, to propose she join him in a lifetime ride was asking too much.

He brought the bike
to a stop, toed the kickstand, and leaned the bike over as he killed the
engine. Her hands went to his shoulders, and he steadied himself while she
swung her leg off the bike and stood beside him. He remained seated, studying
her.

She bit her lip and
looked behind them into the distance. He hooked her finger with his, and pulled
her close. "I—"

She leaned over and
captured his lips, shutting off his apology. Her tongue was in his mouth and
her arms wrapped around his neck before he could kiss her back properly. However,
he was quick on the signals. His woman was hot and bothered.

He reached down and
lifted her leg, propping her knee on his thigh. Then he circled her waist and
lifted her, setting her down in front of him on the gas tank. Her legs hung
over his, and he braced her face in his hands and kissed her thoroughly.

The heat and
sweetness from her mouth urged him on. He tasted, nibbled, and made love with
his tongue. A stroke here and suck there, and she squirmed on top of him,
getting closer to him inch by inch. His cock hardened and pressed painfully
against his jeans, until he couldn't take anymore.

He pulled his mouth
away and stared into her eyes. "Wish we had more time, baby girl. The
other riders will come looking for us, and the last thing I need is them seeing
you with your pants off and your legs wrapped around me."

"There will be
other times," she whispered, and then kissed him softly one more time.
"Thank you so much. I can't even tell you how much this ride meant or how
many times I laid in bed after you rode off, imagining getting the chance to
hold on to you and feel what you experience every time you go on a run. In all
of my imaginations, it was never this wonderful."

"Yeah?"
He moved his hands up her ribs and cupped the sides of her breasts.

She sighed on a
quiver. "Yeah."

He used his thumbs
to circle her nipples. As the nubs stood up to his attention, he swallowed.
"I don't know what I would've done if you would've told me no. Can't live
without you, baby girl. I think about you constantly, and when I'm not with
you, I'm jonesin' to leave work to check on you. You do something to me, and
thinking about not having you eats me up inside."

She tilted his head
and waited until he looked into her eyes. "I'll never leave you."

"After today,
I think I'm starting to believe you." He dropped his hands between them
and looked at her.

Other men had
pretty words and a grasp on their emotions to describe how they were feeling.
He had sex. Taylor deserved the romance, the commitment, the security of
knowing how he felt.

"Stop,"
she whispered. "I get it. I really do. I feel what we have between us too,
and having that inside here—she patted his chest—is all I need."

He closed his eyes
briefly, and then looked up into her face. He believed her.

"I love
you," he said.

"Of course you
do," she said, ducking her chin and looking at him out of the corner of
her eyes. "Because I'm your old lady in every way and old ladies love
their man until he lays down—"

"His
bike," he said, finishing the saying. "You've been hanging out with
the Bantorus women too long."

She laughed.
"How else was I going to get your attention?"

He kissed her
laughing mouth. "Hop off and get on back. It's time to go home, baby
girl."

"All right,
honey." She clambered off him and got into her position on the seat.
"Oh, before we go…I love you too."

He chuckled and
started the Harley. He cruised ahead, until he found a spot wide enough in the
road to turn around. Some people believed in karma when something good happened
in their life, but he knew who was responsible for today. Taylor stuck with
him, never giving up, and always loving him no matter how big of an asshole he
was to her. He'd never take her for granted. If it took him a lifetime, he'd
show her everything he felt inside his heart and she'd never go a day without
knowing how much he loved her.

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