Soul of Smoke (12 page)

Distracted from her internal maelstrom, Kai held up a hand. “Wait, so one day you were walking by Griffith and high-fived him or something and you went all psycho on each other?”

Ffion blushed. “We did not ‘go all psycho.’ It was...it was surprising. And overwhelming. But, again, we’re off topic. I’m supposed to talk to you about
your
heartswearing.”

Her voice took on a lecturing tone. “Dragons can also become sworn to humans. In fact, dragons who have found no heartsworn among our own kind sometimes look for a human mate, and they usually find one. There are theories, but I won’t get into that now. With a human-dragon pairing, it doesn’t happen like it does between two dragons. At first, only the dragon is heartsworn. The human isn’t—you aren’t. Not until the bond has been completed.”

Kai crossed her arms and shivered. The cold was getting to her. “All right. What completes the bond?” Not that it mattered. Not that it was something she would ever consider, no matter how blue his eyes were or how much she understood his twitchiness. He had avoided touching her like she carried the plague, so obviously he hadn’t wanted this, either.

Ffion gave Kai the aggrieved look of a disciple about to share something sacred with an unbeliever. “A kiss. If Rhys kisses you, or you kiss him, you will also become heartsworn.”

Kai couldn’t help it. She snorted. “A kiss? Like in
Sleeping Beauty
? No way. We’re not even the same species.”

Ffion shrugged. “As soon as humans reached levels close to dragonic intelligence, it started happening. At first dragons were, to use a human phrase, ‘grossed out.’ We thought of you as a much lower species.”

“How flattering.”

Ffion shrugged again. “For some reason only the Ancients know, dragons can only have children with their heartsworn. Most dragon pairs only produce one or two, but human-dragon pairings can produce four or five children. Our population has been declining for years. We need the Wingless to survive.”

“Wingless?”

“Human mates.”

For a second time, Kai pressed her fingers to her temples. “Wouldn’t the children from humans be human? Especially if all this...mating...is going on while human? I’m assuming I’m not going to turn into a dragon. Not that I’ll be doing
any
mating with Rhys.” Kai’s cheeks flamed. She was surprised not to see steam rising into the frigid air.

Ffion put her hand to her mouth, stifling a small laugh. “No, you won’t become a dragon. Our genetics are dominant. All offspring are dragons.”

“Of course they are. Geez, you guys don’t want much from me, do you? Marry this random guy and have lizard babies with him.”

Ffion’s mouth twisted in obvious offence. “Never call a dragon a lizard.”

“Fine. You’re not lizards. You’re insane, virgin-kidnapping monsters.” Kai hugged herself, refusing to look at Ffion as she rubbed feeling back into her arms and hands. Her butt had gone numb a long time ago.

Ffion inhaled like a mother praying for patience with a badly behaved child. “Human legends aside, you can see why becoming heartsworn is important. For Rhys, it’s rather essential. It won’t be easy at first, being away from your family, but there are benefits...”

Kai felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She stood and backed away from the ledge. “Whoa. Nope. Stop. I’ve known him three days. I’m not actually going to
do
this!”

Ffion rose, as well, standing like a barrier between Kai and the snow-hidden world beyond the mountain. “We need him, Kai. If you don’t complete the bond he’ll be...distracted. So distracted he’ll be unable to function at full capacity. We can’t afford for him to be wounded again, or worse. He’s important.”

“And my life isn’t?” Kai crossed her arms and raised her chin. She refused to believe Rhys’s life depended on her kissing him; the idea was too out there, too bonkers to have any kind of hold on reality. In fact, this entire foray into dragonland was feeling more and more like a nightmare. Now they wanted her to stay here and be some kind of captive bride so one of their soldiers could keep fighting in some idiotic war that had nothing to do with her. Still, she liked Rhys. Or she had, and this had happened to him, too. “What exactly will happen to him if I don’t agree to this?”

Ffion shook her head. “To be completely honest, he won’t let me tell you. Come. Let’s see if Ashem has stopped the bleeding.” She turned and glided inside.

“Wait! What won’t he let you tell me?”

Ffion didn’t respond.

Kai hesitated, looking longingly out over the snow-obscured wilderness. Somewhere out there Juli was looking for her. She had school. Work. Family. With a pang, she realized she might truly be kidnapped. She might never see her brothers again. She might never get a chance to fix things with her parents. That had never been a big deal before, when she’d dodged their phone calls and gleefully refused their invitations on that stalker app that showed your friends your location. Now, the thought made her ill.

Rhys...she liked him. She was drawn to him. But this was too much. He had to listen to reason. He
had
to let her go.

Kai sat on the cliff as long as she could bear the cold. Finally, ignoring the impulse to slip over the edge and take her chances free climbing down an icy cliff in the dark, she went inside to face the dragons.

Chapter Eleven

Gone

Kai didn’t have to see him. Even before she reached the sleeping room, she could feel his presence. Power rolled off him in waves stronger than ever, tingling in her fingertips. Ffion stood in the doorway and motioned Kai inside.

Kai took a breath and held it, torn between thoughts of home and thoughts of Rhys. Heartswearing might be “real” and “magical,” but if it took away Rhys’s choice in who to spend his life with, it was also messed the hell up. The way he’d stared, need naked on his face, had made it hard to breathe. No man had ever looked at her like that. It was wrong, but to be so desired was a heady, intoxicating thing. To be desired like that by Rhys...

Kai shivered, anticipation and dread warring inside her. Ffion motioned again, tipping her head toward the interior of the room with more urgency.

Her fingers twined in her carabiners, Kai stepped across the threshold.

It was dimmer than usual. The white fires in the walls and ceiling had been extinguished. The only light came from the fire pit in the center of the room.

Rhys sat in a chair before the fire, shirtless, his head down, his elbows on his knees. Remnants of dried blood streaked his arm, smeared across his chest Clean, white bandages obscured the pattern of crimson scales on his torso. In the flickering golden light he looked like an ancient warrior king, his shirt a bloodstained banner draped over one thigh, his head bowed with the weight of a battle fought and lost.

He raised his eyes, cerulean irises glowing like eclipsed stars. His lips formed her name.

Kai’s heart gave a hard lurch, and she fell back a step. He wasn’t completely the dragon, not like he’d been a half an hour before, but he wasn’t completely human, either. Dangerous. The sight of him brought on a wave of sudden, unavoidable certainty. She didn’t love him now. Not even close. But she knew as sure as the stone beneath her feet that someday, this man could mean more to her than anything in the world.

Oh
,
hell.

Ashem stood behind Rhys, tying off the bandages. “...says no and you’re going to be an idiot, you’ll need something to help you sleep. I’ll have to go back to the meadow.”

Rhys nodded, gaze still fixed on Kai.

Low music drifted from the corner. Cadoc sat in the shadows with his guitar. He didn’t look up.

Ffion waved Kai farther into the room. “Talk to him. I’m going to save Griffith from Deryn.” A bittersweet smile twisted her lips, and she went through the archway.

Rhys sat up and rubbed his chest, shrugging off Ashem’s hands.

Kai folded her arms. “Are you all right? Are you...does it hurt or something?”

Rhys hadn’t taken his eyes off her. It was unnerving. She hugged herself tighter.

“I’m fine.” His voice was rough but even.

“
Gwaladr
...” Ashem murmured.

Rhys made a quick slashing motion with his good hand, and Ashem fell silent. “Did Ffion explain?”

Kai nodded.

“Do you understand?”

Kai shrugged.

Rhys ran a hand through his hair and then smoothed it down. He took a breath and let it out in a rush. “Will you become my heartsworn?”

Cadoc plucked a sour note. Kai’s stomach felt full of rocks. “I’m supposed to go home.”

Rhys closed luminescent eyes. “I fully intended for you to go home. No one could have predicted this. But it happened. Will you heartswear to me?”

She barked a humorless laugh. “We’ve known each other less than a week, and you’re proposing? I’m not a Disney princess. You’re going to have to do more than show me a whole new world.”

Rhys’s voice took on a quiet edge. “I didn’t ask for this. The last thing I wanted was to be sworn to a human.”

Kai almost laughed, but swallowed the hysterical sound. Now he was Mr. Darcy, proposing to her despite her inferior family and birth. It was ridiculous. She dug her nails into her palms, struggling to get ahold of herself. “What’s wrong with being human?”

Cadoc stopped playing. Ashem frowned at Kai and folded his arms across his chest, his dark brows furrowed in disapproval. Like he’d looked at her yesterday as he’d run his fingers over her cheek.

Realization smacked her like a hammer to the face. “You! That’s why you touched my face. You—you—” Kai could not think of words vile enough.

Ashem shrugged. “We become stronger when we’re sworn. It would have been irresponsible for me not to try.”

“
Irresponsible?
You wouldn’t even have given me a choice. ‘Do it and be done!’ This isn’t ancient wherever-you’re-from; you can’t force yourself on a woman because your hormones are jacked!”

She rounded on Cadoc, prepared to yell at him, too. Seeing his stricken expression, her rage wobbled, threatening to collapse into tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Cadoc stood and took a step toward her. Between them, Rhys tensed, and Cadoc came to an abrupt, ungraceful halt. “I’m sorry,
brânwen
. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t think it would happen.”

Kai took a shuddering breath. She would
not
cry.

Rhys closed his eyes, breathing deeply. When he opened them again, the glow was muted. “Please.”

Kai raised her hands in a helpless shrug. “I—Rhys, I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

Rhys stood suddenly, knocking over the chair. “You’re saying no.”

His face was so fierce that a small ball of fear formed in Kai’s stomach. Still, she nodded. “I’m saying no.”

He growled and strode out toward the main cavern. Ashem went after him.

Kai put face in her hands. “Please tell me this is some kind of horrible dragon prank.”

Cadoc approached, his voice soft. “I wish it was. Are you all right?”

Kai took her hands from her face and looked up at the genuine concern in his beautiful amethyst eyes. “I’m—”

“Cadoc!” Ashem’s voice ricocheted off the walls like a gunshot.

Kai jumped. Cadoc froze like he’d been caught playing with someone else’s toy. He stood jerkily and went to retrieve his guitar from the corner.

“Cadoc?” She was dangerously weepy, but she forced the feeling down.

Without looking at her, Cadoc gave a small shake of his head and strode past Ashem out of the room.

Kai glared at Ashem. “You don’t dictate who I can or cannot talk to.”

Ashem raised an eyebrow. “I dictate whatever keeps this group functioning, as I have done for a thousand years. If you have any brains or any heart, leave Cadoc to write songs about his misery and heartswear to Rhys.”

“If
you
had any heart, you’d take me home!”

Ashem shrugged. “I don’t have a heart. I have a job.”

Kai bared her teeth and glared at him until he left. Alone, she flopped down onto her mattress and its pile of blankets and pillows. In her head, she started to plan. The dragons wouldn’t take her home, it was time to take herself. It wasn’t like she hadn’t prepared. Maybe tonight, with everything that had happened, she wouldn’t need a distraction.

* * *

Kai adjusted the heavy pack on her back and swore. She’d waited until they were all asleep. She’d slipped down into the hoard with no problem. Unfortunately, Ashem hadn’t forgotten to set a watch like Kai had hoped.

Cadoc sat just inside the entrance, playing his guitar. Outside, the snow had gone, and the moon sparkled off the white landscape—though not as much stuck as Kai had expected. That was lucky. She’d rather not try and make her way through the mountains in snow.

She shifted, and something inside the pack clinked.

“
Nos da
,
brânwen
.”

Kai swore.

Though the moon was waning, she could see when he lifted his gaze from the guitar to look at her, one brow raised. “That’s not very lady-like.”

She thought about slipping off the pack and leaving it at the bottom of the incline that led to the cave mouth, but that wouldn’t fool him. Hoping he’d understand, she came out onto the ledge “I’m not a lady.”

“Every woman is a lady.” He looked at the pack, then at the coils of rope in her hands. “Going somewhere?”

She shifted, trying to get the pack into a more comfortable position. “I can’t stay here, Cadoc. I’m not going to give up my life.”

“What if you’re giving up a better life by going?” He strummed a few more notes on the guitar.

Kai laughed, her voice harsh. “I think I’d rather die in a few days out there than suffocate over the course of millennia in here. I can’t do it. Besides, it’s been three days. My family and friends think I’m dead. They’re suffering.”

“Who becomes heartsworn to whom—or doesn’t or cannot, in some cases—often causes suffering.” Cadoc’s voice was flat.

Kai frowned, trying to untangle what he’d said. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just know that this particular facet of dragon magic often causes heartache.”

Kai bit her lip. He sounded so sad that she wondered if he had been in love, and if that love had heartsworn to someone else. That thought, along with the revelation that Rhys had a second sister, made her realize how right Ffion had been. Kai had been here for days, but she didn’t know anything about the dragons or their lives outside of the cave.

Kai wanted to ask Cadoc for help. It would be so easy for him to change into a dragon and glide down through the silent night with her on his back. He could probably drop her off at the nearest city and be back before his watch was up. She could get home
and
fly with a dragon. Win-win, at least for her.

“Cadoc—”

“Don’t ask me, Kai. Please.”

She dropped the pack and sat hard on the ground next to him, covering her face. “For once in my life, I want to go home. I didn’t leave things well with my parents. And I miss Juli. You can’t just take me away from my life. You can’t make me be with Rhys. I don’t even know him.”

Warm hands closed over hers, pulling them gently down. Cadoc’s amethyst eyes were filled with...what? Compassion? Concern? He brushed dark strands of hair to the side and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“Rhys is a good person,
brânwen
. The best. I’ll vouch for him.”

Kai tried to speak. She took one breath, then another, but words wouldn’t come. Finally, she slid sideways, burying her face in Cadoc’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she wept. When she finally pulled away from him, his shirt was soaked with tears.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Now that the initial wave of emotion had passed, she was embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe all this happened because I went on a hike. Because I helped Deryn.”

“‘No good deed goes unpunished’ is the appropriate proverb, I think.” Cadoc’s mouth curved in the ghost of his usual grin. “It’s not your fault. Today was set in motion thousands of years ago. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong destiny.”

Kai laughed, a sad, hollow sound. “I don’t believe in destiny.”

He smiled, just as sad. “Something I’ve learned over the course of a long life, Kai, is that truth doesn’t care what we believe.”

Kai became acutely aware of how close he was, how he smelled like fresh-cut wood and lemon oil. There was none of the pull she felt from Rhys, none of the pressure, but he felt comfortable. There was nothing she wanted more in that moment than comfort.

Even though the sensible part of her whispered that it was wrong, that this wasn’t something either of them truly wanted, she found herself leaning in, closing the distance between them, tilting her face toward his.

His gaze dropped to her lips. In a voice filled with misery, he murmured words Kai didn’t understand. He brought a hand to her cheek, not moving toward her, but not moving away.

She kissed him. After a second, he kissed back. It was as soft and sweet as music.

Before Kai could decide if she liked it, he broke away. “I can’t—” His eyes widened.

With a jolt of fear, Kai realized the air had the heavy feeling of an impending storm.

Rhys.

Guilt crashed over her, which made her angry. She looked into the cavern, pitch black but for two neon-blue points hanging in the dark like lonely stars.

Cadoc scrambled up, pulling her with him. He gently pushed her toward the interior of the cavern, but she didn’t move. She didn’t want to face Rhys.

“Get away from the ledge,” Cadoc said.

“What—?” An enormous ball of flame erupted where Rhys had been standing. In the instant before she shielded her eyes from blinding brightness, she saw the silhouette of a man. When she could see again, Rhys was gone. She looked up, higher and higher, until she met the glowing blue eyes of the dragon.

Cadoc’s voice went very soft. “Kai, if I don’t transform now, Rhys is going to kill me.”

* * *

Rhys’s control slipped. Like a match to dry leaves, the flames of the transformation consumed him, rage burning away conscious thought until nothing but instinct was left.

“
Hoffwm i ddim wyt ti ei berthyn e
,” Cadoc had whispered.
I
wish you didn’t belong to him.

“Stop! Rhys, stop! Just listen!” Kai came toward him, her hands outstretched.

His head swayed as he drank in the sight of her. Loose hair fell past her shoulders in soft black waves, framing a frightened face as pale as milk. Tiny. So tiny, but strength coiled in the lines and curves of her petite form. To his dragon eyes a white halo surrounded her, radiating from her body.

Heartsworn.
Mine.

Beyond her, heat and light exploded. The enemy had become dragon, scales like fire beneath the moon. With a roar, Rhys leaped over Kai’s head as the enemy dove off the ledge. Rhys roared again, plunging after him into the night. The traitor had broken something deeper than law, and the debt could only be paid in blood.

* * *

Her eyes wide with horror, Kai whirled to run for help and smacked into a warm, solid wall. “Griffith!”

“What happened?” His voice was sharp and hard, a startling contrast to its usual measured rumble.

“Rhys...he saw Cadoc...and me...”

Griffith growled something in Welsh and went out to the ledge. Kai didn’t know what he’d said, exactly, but she heard “Owain.”