SOULLESS (Black Thorns, #2) (20 page)

The whole thing with the list had me thinking I could do it. I thought we
could
find a way to be together without me fucking up her life and putting her in danger. But…shit. She’s already here now. She’s mine again. Made that damn clear to her earlier. And it ain’t even safe yet. And she’s pregnant.

And I’m…I’m…a selfish fucker.

I shoulda waited.

If I had she woulda never gone after Kent and she wouldn’t be his fucking mark right now.

“Neil?”

Shit. My gaze snaps to hers. I was so worked up in my own head that I didn’t even see her sitting up in bed looking at me, wondering what I’m doing just standing here in the doorway staring into space like a damn psycho, or something.

“Yeah, babe?” I manage to get out as I fight to push all this anxiety down. I don’t want her knowing what’s really going on.

I just decided I ain’t gonna tell her.

It’s for the best, cuz I know how she is. If she knew what
I
know—‘bout her dad—she’d fucking go to war on her own before me or the boys could blink.

And I sure as shit ain’t letting that happen.

“What are you…is it morning?”

I walk over to the bed. “Nah, babe. It’s still real late.”

“Oh,” she says, tryin’ to get her bearings after just waking up. “You’re coming to bed then?”

You ain’t got no idea how much I wish that was it.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and stroke her soft brown hair. “We gotta head back to the clubhouse tonight. Can’t wait ‘til later tomorrow no more.”

“What? Why?”

“Got some club business that needs taking care of ASAP.”

She tenses at my words. “Club business? You mean regarding Malcolm Kent?”

I shake my head. “Nah. The boys need me up there is all.”

She frowns and I see her searching my eyes. She don’t believe me right off the bat. My girl ain’t naïve; that’s why. Didn’t expect nothing less.

I hold my gaze steady, not fool enough to make the mistake of looking away and letting her know I’m lying to her face here.

She keeps looking, saying nothing. Something flashes in her eyes. Shit. Can she see it? Can she see that I’m lying?

“Oh, shit,” she cries suddenly, looking away.

She scrambles out from under the covers, her movements making me stand up from the bed.

The sudden sight of her sexy naked body on full display just a foot from me has my dick hard in a second. Jesus Christ. It takes everything I got to just focus my attention where I need to.

“Rox? What’s wrong?”

“Stupid morning sickness.” She slaps her hand to her mouth and runs for the door.

I rush out after her and find her skidding to her knees in front of the toilet in the bathroom and lifting the seat up quickly.

She throws her hand out at me and yells, “Shut the door!”

She’s so anxious ‘bout it that I just do it right away. As soon as it closes, I hear her spilling her guts inside the bathroom.

Shit.

***

I’m pacing up and down outside the bathroom door like a caged wild animal, getting more and more anxious with every passing second she’s still in there.

It’s been ten minutes now.

Fuck this. I ain’t waiting no longer. Need a visual to make sure she’s really okay. I know this morning sickness is the way it goes for a lot of pregnant women, but that don’t make hearing it, or my girl going through, it any better.

I knock on the door. “Rox?”

“Fine,” she chokes. “I’m…fine.”

Don’t sound fine.

I throw open the door and storm inside.

She’s sitting against the wall beside the toilet, her head back and her eyes closed as she pants out breath after breath. She ain’t naked no more. Got a towel wrapped ‘round her. I skid to my knees beside her and pull her into me.

“Urgh…” she murmurs into my shoulder.

I brush her sweat-drenched hair outta her face. “I know, babe. I know.”

“Every time I’m here, I’m throwing up in your bathroom,” she says, agitatedly.

Next thing I know, she’s pushing me away.

“Rox?” I question, as I back off and get to my feet.

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” she says, standing up and holding her hand up in front of her face.

“Like what?”

“Throwing up and looking like crap. Disgusting.”

“You ain’t disgusting. You’re—”

“Right, I’m pregnant. I feel disgusting. I look disgusting. And I don’t want you seeing me like it. Okay, Neil? Do you get that?”

Whoa. “Rox, come on.”

She brings her hand down and I see right away how pissed she is. Shit. That came on real quick. “Just get out!”

“Babe—”

“I know, we need to ride. Just give me ten minutes to…fix myself. Just some fucking time alone without you hovering like that and…and…looking at me. Stop it! Stop looking at me! Stop seeing me like this!” She runs her fingers through her hair and turns her back to me. “I’m ugly and disgusting and I don’t want you to see. Just go.”

Like hell I am.

I stalk over to her and close the distance between us. I wrap my arms ‘round her, her back to my chest. She starts tryin’ to fight me, tryin’ to break my grip, but I hold firm. “Stop it, Rox. Stop fighting me and just listen, cuz I ain’t letting you go ‘til you do.”

“Argh!” she growls under her breath. But she stops struggling, knowing it’s her best bet to just damn well listen to me.

“You’re tired. You’re stressed after all the shit that’s gone down lately. And you just spent the last ten minutes chucking your guts up. You finally got a
bit
of rest earlier then I went and woke you up. Okay? You ain’t thinking clear. This shit is all in your head. Cuz, let me tell you, you’re so damn sexy, babe. It ain’t even just me saying this. You got no idea the shit I had to threaten the boys with to keep ‘em in line when it came to you. Know how hard it was to force ‘em not to even look your way? You’re a bombshell, babe. Any man with his eyes open knows it.” I tighten my hold ‘round her. “And to
me
, you’re way more than even that. The whole package—everything you are—is sexy to me, Rox. And now you’re carrying our kid in you…fuck…you’re so damn beautiful. You’re my beautiful girl.”

I grind my cock against her.

She gasps in surprise.

“Yeah. That’s just from holding you, babe.
That’s
what you do to me. So, I don’t wanna have you thinking ‘bout yourself like that again, yeah? You see now…you see how sexy, how beautiful you are?”

She murmurs something.

“What’s that?” I press. “You feel me, or not?”

“Yes,” she grits out, still pissed. And then I hear more softness in her tone, as she adds, “Yes, I feel you.” She’s calming down and actually accepting what I’ve told her. She ain’t just saying it so I’ll let her go.

“Good girl.” I kiss the top of her head and then I let her go and step back. “You okay to get dressed now?”

She turns ‘round to face me and I see a faint smile there as she says, “Yeah.”

I turn to go and leave her to whatever she’s gotta do in here.

“Neil?” she calls out to me.

I eye her over my shoulder. “Yeah, Rox?”

“Thanks.”

“Least I can do.” I eye her belly. “You’re the one doing all the work here.”

A little giggle escapes her and it’s the sweetest fucking sound. “Right. Yeah.”

Grinning, I tell her as I make my way to the door, “Love you, beautiful girl.”

Chapter 23

~Ax~

I push open the door that connects the house to my garage and lead Rox along, holding her hand tightly. “As you know, it’s a long ride to the clubhouse from here. I know you ain’t feeling your best, so if you gotta stop, just give me the signal, yeah?”

She looks up at me and asks, “Signal?”

“Yeah. You know?
This
?” I say, making the gesture.

She frowns, confused. “What is that?”

“The signal to pull over.”

She starts laughing then. “Neil, that’s some sort of
club code
.”

“Is it?”

She lets go of my hand and walks over to her Triumph parked beside my Harley. “Yeah,” she says over her shoulder. “A regular lay person won’t get that. I guess you think it’s normal or something, because you’ve spent your entire life in a club.”

“Yeah. I have, Rox.”

My words come out with more of an edge to ‘em than I meant to give.

She stills for a second, then turns to me. “That wasn’t an insult.”

I shrug and swing my leg over my bike, settling myself on the saddle. “You still feel the same way ‘bout Thorns that you did when we first met?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Just wanna know.”

“No.”

What? “No?”

Her eyes lock with mine. “No. It’s different now without Trigger around.”

“Yeah?”

She nods. “Kind of like…a family? They treat me differently now, like a sister, or something.” She thinks for a moment and then adds, “But that’s probably on your orders, right?”

“Nah, babe. I told ‘em not to lay a hand on you, or I’d fucking put ‘em down. The rest? That’s all on the boys. Nothing to do with no orders of mine.”

She grins. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Huh. She likes the boys treating her like family then? Looks like Runner might’ve actually called it. Maybe I could bring her into the club? Stay as a part of it still? Fuck me. Never thought this would be a possibility. Not with the way she was with the club when Trig was running shit. Hell, back then
I
wanted out, too—not just cuz she hated it. Then when I became Prez, I just ran with it, knowing she hated the club and wanting to get out was all ‘bout me wanting to have her.

“Rox, does this mean—?”

The sudden screech of tires burning rubber outside shuts me the hell up.

Fuck.

“Who is that?” Rox asks. “One of the boys? Smiter? Runner?”

“Shh,” I tell her as we hear car doors slamming. Hurried footsteps. “No,” I whisper to her as I get off my bike and walk over to her.

“Malcolm’s thugs?” she whispers back.

Looks like. “Stay here. Don’t walk outta here. You’re safe as long as you’re inside. Concrete walls. Steel doors on both sides. They can’t screw with the locks either. You know my past, so you know they’re foolproof if I tell you they are.”

“What? No. What are you—?”

I press my finger to her lips. “You stay here on my orders, or I cuff you and make you. What’s it gonna be?”

Her eyes narrow at me.

“Rox, I’m gonna deal with these fuckers. Stay here ‘til I give the signal—me raising the doors over there,” I say, pointing to the double steel doors.

She steps back and grits out, “Fine.”

Thank fuck.

I take one last look back at her and then I pull my gun and sprint over to the other door leading back into the house.

***

I flatten my back against the wall beside the bedroom door.

I eye the bed again and scrutinize the way I arranged the pillows underneath the covers to make it look like someone’s sleeping there. Yeah, it’ll do. Enough to have ‘em believing there’s someone sleeping there. Convincing enough in the dark to a bunch of gun-toting, trigger happy fucks hopped up on adrenaline, testosterone and, God knows, what else.

Kent thinks sending his thugs to invade my fucking home is gonna help
him
out and fuck us up, but it’s ‘bout to help
me
out big time.

I hear ‘em coming.

Good. Not long now. They’ll burst on in here and start shooting. Just like I want ‘em to.

Sure enough, a few moments later, the door’s kicked open. They almost knock it clean of its hinges.

I stay flat against the wall in the dark, watching as five guys barrel into my bedroom. They’re all wearing black jeans and hoodies with balaclavas hiding their faces.

“There!” one of ‘em calls, gesturing to the bed.

Just as I figured they would, all five of ‘em fire.

“That’s one of them.”

“Which one, though?” another guy says, approaching the bed.

Can’t let that happen.

I fire.

My aim’s right on, driving straight through the fucker’s skull. Instant kill.

The remaining four of ‘em spin ‘round in shock and frantically start tryin’ to locate me.

I fire again. Another headshot to the guy furthest from me. He drops like a ragdoll beside his buddy.

Don’t get the chance to fire another shot as the guy closest to me sees me through the dark and lunges at me.