Soulless (The Heartless Series Book 2) (10 page)

“Gracen—”

“You said it!” I yell, feeling rage where there wasn’t any, seeing red when I hadn’t seen it before. It’s tunneling in my vision again, and I try to control it. I don’t want a repeat of what happened in my room. “You said,” I say more calmly which is very, very difficult. “You said they were a lost cause. That’s why you had to kill them, because the demons would. You said…”

“I say a lot of things.” He glares at me. This isn’t the happy go lucky Hart or even the scary Hart in my dreams. This is a whole other side of him I don’t want to see. He’s cool and calm and scary as hell.

“So, it was a lie. All a lie.” I feel the tears stinging in my eyes, and I wonder, for the first time, if I’ll cry water or blood.

Hart shakes his head and turns his back to me for a split second before he hurls my phone so hard against the cabinets on the other side of the room that it shatters the phone into a million pieces. It falls to the floor in a clank, causing me to jump.

“I do a lot of things, darlin’. Say a lot of things. Some of them are true. Some of them aren’t. Get over it. I’m a demon. Sue me. But I’m not lying about this. Demons do more damage to a human body than you can ever imagine.”

“Then my aunt…”

“She’s different,” he whispers. I can tell his voice is trying not to crack. It’s hard to trust someone who lies to you.

“Different how?” I don’t expect him to answer me.

I’m right. “We have to go home.”

“Home?” It’s weird to think about how that had been Hart’s home for the better part of sixteen years too. The weirdness never ends. “I can’t go home.” Imagines of my mother’s death torture me. If I’m not with her, I can’t kill her. We can’t go back… we can’t.

I can’t tell him why.

“We have to. We can’t stay here.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?” he yells, making me jump. “Why can’t we go? Shouldn’t you want to go home and see your mother? She’s your mother after all. She’s family. We can’t stay here forever.”

“But you said to keep our heads down and ride it out. You said the world had gone to hell, or is that a lie too?” I’m slightly irritated, truth be told. Here I am, trying to ride this blood high, and he’s being cryptic and weird. Add to the fact that I refuse to be anywhere near my mother so I don’t hurt her, and we have a bit of a problem.

“I don’t expect you to understand, but I expect you to go with me. You aren’t staying here alone, and I’m leaving.”

I cross my arms in a huff. That little demon. “You think I can’t take care of myself. I’m eighteen years old.”

“You need demon blood. I’m a demon. The only reason I killed those SOBs outside in that ditch is because you needed more blood than I had to heal your stab wound. That’s it. Now, if you don’t want, you don’t have to hurt anyone else. Nobody else has to die. All you need is my blood because, darlin’, ain’t no other demon going to willingly open a vein for you.”

For the love of…

“You need blood. I have blood. And I’m heading to your mother’s house. So if you want to follow your free buffet, come with me. If not, find your own damn Happy Meal. I’m done.”

He turns and disappears into the living room. I actually believe him. Whatever is going on, whatever has happened, whoever was on the phone really, has gotten to him, and he is bound and determined to go to Prospect. I’m terrified of leaving my house. I don’t want to hurt my mother, and for a split second, I think I can do it. I can go without blood. I can be strong and be a good abomination. I’ll lock the doors, hide in my room, and wait it out.

I know that will never happen.

The blood is too strong. The need for it. The way it makes my body sing. I’ll find some way out of here, and I’ll hurt someone else. I know I will. I can’t do that.

Not when I have a willing demon at my disposal.

“Hart!” I yell as I run around one of the chairs and into the living room. He’s waiting for me by the front door. “What’s so blasted important that we have to go to Prospect? Especially with everything going to hell outside.”

He stares me right in the eyes and opens the door.

Sunlight.

Not darkness.

Not an eclipse.

Sunlight.

What the…

“I told you. I lie. And don’t forget I’ve been in your brain for years. Don’t think that since you are a big and bad abomination that you are craftier than me. I lied before when I said I couldn’t get make you see things. I don’t know why. I don’t know how, but I know we’re connected now more than ever. I can’t read your mind, but I can sure get inside it sometimes. I think it’s all my blood you are drinking, or maybe I’m part of all this too. Or maybe it is only when your blood is low. I’m not sure. I have no idea. I wish to God I did. All I know is that I needed you to stay here so I made you see what you needed to see. I’m your damn guardian angel if you think about it.”

I don’t want to think about it. “You made me see the dark?”

“And the news reports and everything else you needed to see to stay inside this house.”

“Those demons?”

“Were real. I just know where to find them. The world isn’t ending, not exactly. A few demons got out. Some very powerful. Some not so much. I didn’t want you leaving, though, so I thought I had to make up a lie. It was a wasted effort, though. Now that we have to go.”

“Go where?” If he lied about the freaking world ending, what else has he lied about?

“Prospect,” he says. “I wasn’t lying about that.”

“Why?”

Hart slams the door and leans his head on it. He shuts his eyes and shakes his head slightly. “We… I have to talk to your aunt. I have to. Simple as that.”

I hate feeling slow. It’s one of those feelings I hate more than anything. When I can’t understand what someone is talking about or hinting around about, it irks me. This is irking me.

“Why?”

“She has something I want.” He walks by me and starts up the stairs toward our rooms. This is crazy.

“What could you possibly want?”

Hart never stops. “Redemption.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

H
ART PACKS
S
AM’S CLOTHES VERY QUICKLY.
He’s in a hurry to get out of there apparently. He only has one duffle bag full of stuff slung over his shoulder when he knocks on my door.

“Ready yet?”

No. No, I’m not ready. I’m not ready to go. I’m not ready to stay. I’m not ready to see my aunt or my mother. I’m not ready to kill her. I’m not ready to tell her what I am or who Hart is or what is going on… or about my father. I wonder if she even remembers him.

What I am ready to do is sit in my room on my computer and talk to Tina so she can tell me everything is okay. I won’t tell her the truth, of course, about what’s going on. But just her telling me that everything is okay makes everything better.

Instead of saying any of this to Hart, I simply say, “No.”

I keep my back turned to him, expecting him to walk away. It’s what I would do. I’d turn and go downstairs and wait for him to get ready. At least that’s what I think I’d do. I’d probably yell at him to hurry up, especially with this demon blood flowing through me.

I can’t describe the feeling accurately. It’s like… it’s like the best feeling you’ve ever felt. Pure bliss sliding up and down your skin in glorious waves. It’s amazing. It’s wonderful. It’s something I don’t ever want to lose.

It’s also freaking terrifying. I have
demon blood
in me. Evil blood from actual people who died because of it. There’s nothing good in it, so why do I feel good? There’s nothing pure, so why do I feel bliss? Is that what I’ve been missing all my life? All this power and energy?

Well, power. It’s not like I’ve actually used the power very much. I nearly killed Hart earlier today. That was pleasant. If only I could control this thing, figure out the circle and square buttons on the controller… maybe even the R1… I’d be fine. Or at the very least better. I’d have control over it.

As it is, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have an instruction guide. The only guide I know of is the book Seth used when he tried to kill me, and it’s probably either long gone or with Seth somewhere.

Not going to do me a bit of good.

So while I would like to think I’d leave Hart alone if our situations were reversed, Hart doesn’t have the same thoughts. He doesn’t say a word, but I can hear his foot behind me, tapping… tap… tap… tap… tap…

Like that’ll help.

I try very hard to ignore it. I have things to do. Clothes to pack. Worlds to save. Stuff like that.

But the damn tapping.

Is.

Frying.

My.

Brain.

Not that it needs any extra help.

I’m good. I do everything I need to do for about two minutes until I can’t take the tapping anymore. I throw a pair of socks I’m holding in my bag—not sure why I need socks in September, but it might get cold. I used to stay cold all the time. Now, not so much I’ve noticed. I turn to face him and don’t stop until my hands are on my hips and I’m staring him down. “What’s your problem?”

I don’t think he was expecting that from me. “My problem?”

“Yeah, your problem. You’ve been weird since I woke up, and trust me, that’s saying something.”

He rolls his eyes at me, literally rolls his eyes, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill him. Where’s the demon-killing knife? Time to put it to good use.

“We don’t have time for therapy. We need to go. Like five minutes ago.”

“Why are you in such a hurry to see my mother? She hates you.” Didn’t mean to say it. No filter apparently. The demon blood stole it… or maybe I just don’t give a crap anymore.

“She doesn’t hate me. She loves me. And besides, it’ll do good to get you out of the house.”

“But you said we should stay.” I remind him. I’m sure he’s tired of me reminding him of that. Good. I’m tired of him not answering anything. “You made me see darkness and news reports and God knows what else so I’d stay here with you. You are my
demonic guardian angel
after all.”

“Change of plans.”

Of course there is. And they are
his
change of plans and
his
life and
his
feelings. It’s always about him. It has been for two years. It has been since I was little and Aunt Willow wouldn’t let me play with her computer. Always putting himself first. Stingy little demon.

“Give me time. I’m trying to decide what to take.” Trying to decide how to stall more like it.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s your family. They won’t care what you wear. Wear the crap you usually wear.”

I glare. Even for a demon, he seems to know he screwed up royally. “You know what I mean. We have to go, though. Now. To beat the traffic.”

“But…”

“No buts, Gracen. Just no. I never thought I’d say this, but you can ask me any question you want, any question in your pretty little head on the drive to your mother’s house. I promise I’ll answer it. Life will be rainbows and kittens and unicorns, and you’ll get to know whatever you want to know about me. I swear it. All I’m asking is that we leave now. Please. Hell, I’ll buy you new clothes on the way. Let’s just go.”

He’s staring at me, pleading. The fact that he’s this adamant about going scares me to death. I should say no. My mind is screaming it. Hart wants to leave too bad. That means something bad is out there, or something bad is coming here. Whatever it is, I don’t want to be around it. I have enough bad inside me.

I decide to try something different, something that always worked with Sam. Despite wanting to get some information, I also want to know if he’ll react the same way. If he does, I’ll know it wasn’t all an act. Those two years we spent together. If he doesn’t, well… I’ll know.

Why does it matter? It does. I don’t know why really. Part of me doesn’t want to believe Sam is gone, and if Hart is all I have left of Sam, then I want to hang on to it, no matter what… at least for now.

Slowly, I walk toward Hart and only stop when I’m a few inches from his face. I place my hand on his cheek and gently rub small circles with my thumb close to his ear. Hart does the exact opposite of Sam: he leans closer and shuts his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asks but never opens his eyes. He leans into my hand ever so slightly, and I think that maybe, just maybe, he needs a second to forget everything too.

He’s lost so much, more than me if I want to be honest. Yeah, most of it is his fault but still. To hate his brother so much for over two hundred years that Hart not only turned into a demon, but also kept his humanity--something so painful for a demon to do. Only to find out it was all a lie.

That’s what I feel like this is. All a lie. Some big joke that doesn’t mean anything to anybody, maybe everybody in the world is in on it, but me.

“I don’t know.” And I don’t. I have no idea what I’m doing. All I know is that I need it to stop for a minute. Everything. The lies. The deceit. The world. Everything. Needs. To. Stop.

As I think it, my heartbeat slows into the rhythm of a clock winding down.

Beat.

Beat…

Beat……

Beat………

I can feel it before I can see it: the bend in the room, the way the light shifts around me, how it bends and contorts every solid object in the room. My desk elongates and appears to melt into the floor like a silvery waterfall. The posters on the walls slowly begin to take the same slow ride on the same angle as the desk.

Beat………………

Beat………………………

Time is slowing down. I can feel it. But I’m not. I’m moving the same speed. I lean back and look at Hart, hoping to see that he’s seeing everything like I am too.

Except he isn’t.

He’s slowing down too.

His eyes are shut.

His eyebrows are raising, slowly… slowly… like riding a wave.

He’s thinking, I think. What can he feel? Can he feel the time shift?

I have to think. I have to think. My mind begins racing again as I let Hart go. There is no way I can stand to be there with him now. Not like this. I back all the way to the windowsill and lean my hip against the little edge.

There is no way I actually did this! Myself!