Sound Proof (Save Me #5) (16 page)

Neither of the girls have realized that I’m in the doorway yet so when I see Willow hold up two fingers, I’m not quite sure what to expect but I’m sure they will tell me when they’re done talking. Instead of eavesdropping any more, I head to the kitchen to start breakfast and feed Duke. Sage runs around me as I set his bowl on the floor, her entire body is practically trembling with excitement.

“She said she would go on two conditioners.”

I cock my eyebrow at her, making her repeat herself because I think I heard what she said wrong. She does, and I try not to laugh when she says conditioners again.

“Do you mean two conditions?” I repeat myself until she cuts me off.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. One—” she holds up her finger “—Willow says the top needs to be off on the Jeep, which means we get to take the Jeep. And two is that AJ comes with us.”

I stare at her thinking maybe I misunderstood her again, but when she just stands there waiting for me to answer her, I know I haven’t. I turn around to put the cup back in the dog food bag and find Willow standing against the hallway wall, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

My mind flashes back to what happened yesterday in the supply closet at the office, but I shake it off as fast as I can. I’m not ready for the girls to know what’s going on between us yet. I know they like AJ, but I also know that I’m not fully divorced yet and I don’t want them to think I’m just jumping into this.

The corner of Willow’s mouth perks up and she shrugs because she can see the question that I’m not asking.

“You guys know that it’s like a six-hour drive to the beach, so we would have to stay overnight at a hotel and drive back tomorrow afternoon. Are you sure you want AJ to go with us for that?”

They both nod, Sage a little more enthusiastic than Willow, but it’s a yes from both of them. I ask them why and Willow finally steps in.

“He’s fun and doesn’t make me think about everything that’s happened constantly. And he makes you smile. We like it when you’re happy. You’re so worried about making us feel better and I think you forgot that you’re allowed to be happy too.”

I think about it for a minute. I’m really not sure if they want him to go because they want him to, or because they think I want him to. I finally cave, telling them we can ask him, but make Willow wait where she is while Sage runs off to get packed.

“Are you sure you’re all right with this? I want you to have a good time and Sage thought this would be a good way.”

“I’m sure, Mom. It’s not just that he makes you happy, but that’s a plus. Even if you do deny it. But he also makes me feel safe. It’s weird, but I’m OK with him. I don’t feel like I need to hide around him and I’m glad that he makes you happy too. Even if you don’t want to admit that you like him like that.”

She leaves me speechless in the kitchen and wanders off to call AJ and see if he wants to go along on this trip for us.

I pull the jeep up in front of AJ’s house and yank the emergency brake. Willow climbs carefully between the seats into the back and stands up next to Sage. They yell, cupping their hands over their mouths and clapping until AJ finally opens his door and runs toward the Jeep.

He winks at me, tossing his bag into the back. The girls fist bump him as he walks around to my side of the Jeep. I’m afraid for half a second that he’s going to kiss me even though I want him to. Instead, he holds his hand out for me. I grab it, thinking he wants to shake my hand but he laughs. Reaching over me, he unbuckles my belt and picks me up out of the seat.

I slap my hands against his shoulders. “AJ! What are you doing?”

He doesn’t stop smiling until he has me sitting in the passenger side and buckled in.

“Why?” I ask.

AJ shakes his head. “What fun would it be for you if you had to drive the entire time? This way, you can talk to us and if you can’t hear over the wind, you can read our lips while we talk.” He licks his lips and smirks, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me.

AJ pulls himself into the driver’s seat and rolls us back out of his driveway. I want to watch his lips, to talk to the girls and interact but I find myself completely stuck on watching the way his fingers draw over the knob on the shifter. The muscles tighten and relax in his hand and arm as he shifts and it fascinates me. I finally pull myself out of the haze when Willow taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and she’s grinning at me like she knows exactly what’s going through my mind right now. Since she’s fourteen, that’s not ok with me.

“Thank you,” she mouths when Sage turns her head to look at something. I grab her hand and kiss the top of it.

“Anything for you, you know that.”

We make it almost all the way there when the first “Are we there yet?” happens. It doesn’t come from either of the girls though, and it makes me laugh. AJ fits in well with us and I can’t wait to see how he handles these two when we’re on the beach.

“I wanna build a sand castle. Who’s building one with me?” AJ asks, pulling into a parking spot.

Sage throws her hands above her head and I laugh at the face she makes. It’s times like this I am so glad I had the surgery and I can hear her. All I really wanted out of it was to know what my girls sounded like.

By the time I stop thinking and actually pull myself out of the Jeep, AJ has all our beach stuff hanging from one arm and Sage draped over his other shoulder, running toward the sand. Willow stands by the fender waiting for me. I drape my arm over her shoulder and we trudge behind them at a slower pace.

I know as much as Willow wants to be back to her old self, she isn’t. The last time we came, she ran around in her bathing suit the entire time, or at least shorts. Today she still has her jeans and a tee shirt on and unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m thankful that she at least doesn’t have to use the crutch anymore because that caused people to ask questions that she wasn’t comfortable answering.

“That’s a pretty awesome sandcastle you guys built,” Payton tells Sage as she rubs sunscreen into Sage’s face again.

“Sage, do you want to go play in the water?” Sage looks over at Willow, eyeing the jeans she’s still wearing. Willow looks around nervously before reaching for the button on her jeans and shimmying out of them, revealing a pair of shorts with capri-length compression shorts under them. It covers the majority of the still red scar, but not all of it. “Better?” she whispers nervously and Sage bolts off, pulling Willow behind her as fast as she can go.

I scoot a little closer to Payton, still keeping a few inches between us in case the girls come back. I want to be close to her, but I by no means want the girls to figure out what’s going on and think I’m only in to go get into their mother’s pants. I was taught better by my parents and I want them to know that. If I have to hear the term manwhore come from my mother’s mouth one more time, I think I might need to be committed.

Payton turns toward me, but can still see the girls. “Thank you for coming with us.”

I lean back on my elbows in the hot sand and flash her a smile. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Don’t thank
me
.” She laughs. “The girls asked for you to come without any coaxing from me. I don’t know what you did to them, but the fact that they both want you around amazes me.”

“I’m charming.” I shrug nonchalantly. She laughs and it strikes me as a sound I would want to hear every day. That scares the living hell out of me. I’ve never done love before, I’ve never done long term. It’s just not who I am. Or was. I can’t say I’ll be good at it, but everything about this woman makes me want to try.

“Oh believe me, I know. I’ve seen you charm the pants off of girls.”

I cringe, wanting to wipe my past away, but I know that isn’t possible. I settle for reaching over and grabbing her hand in the sand and squeezing lightly.

“I’ve said it before, Payton. I don’t want anyone but you. I don’t see that changing either.”

She’s silent for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”

What I’m getting into? Does she really think I’m that much of an idiot?

I turn more in the sand and inch closer so I’m looking straight at her. I don’t give a shit at this point if anyone questions what we’re doing together. It wouldn’t be the first time and I highly doubt it will be the last.

“What the hell does that mean? I don’t know what I’m getting into?”

Payton sighs, dragging her finger in circles through the sand. “It’s not just me that’s getting attached, AJ. You understand that, right? You get that with me comes two other hearts. I need to make sure you understand that you and I have a choice here and it effects them too. I don’t want to hurt them anymore than they already have been.”

“Payton—” I inch my hand through the sand to her leg and let my fingers graze across her bare thigh “—even if I had the chance to choose. I’d still choose all three of you.”

She stares at me for a minute, not blinking, not moving. I’m not even sure she’s breathing until it shudders out of her. She turns, searching for the girls before turning back to me. Payton drops her head and a stray hair falls, obstructing my view of her beautiful face.

“If I didn’t want to get into this, I would back down and let go. But I want this more than I’ve probably wanted anything, ever. I’m not backing out unless you tell me there’s never going to be a change. Even then, I’ll have a hard time with it.”

“You’re crazy,” she whispers, letting the sand flow through her fingers. “Absolutely crazy.”

A few hours later, I’m walking through the lobby of a hotel with Sage wrapped around me, asleep on my shoulder.

It’s crazy how much of a difference a few years can make. Last time I was here, I was dragging groupies around. Now I’m walking around with two kids in tow and a woman that is way too good for me. Even if no one knows the girl is mine, I do, andthat’s all that matters to me.

In the elevator, Willow rests her head against Payton’s shoulder and yawns. I guess that she isn’t going to make it much longer. Hopefully, that means that I’ll have some alone time with Payton.

I tuck Sage in and Willow climbs in beside her, practically falling asleep before her head even hits the pillow. When I turn around, Payton has disappeared into the bathroom. I let myself out of the room, closing the door quietly behind me so I don’t wake the girls, and make my way down the hall to my room.

Since I need to get the sand off me, I strip quickly and jump into the shower. I gave Payton my spare key on the way up, so if she wants to talk, she can come in. I’m not going to force her though. She’s been through enough, she doesn’t need another man demanding her attention right now.

The hot water hits me, relieving some of the tension in my muscles that’s built up lately. Not pounding out my aggression on the drums full time is really getting to me. I still play, but not as much, and I think this might be my body’s way of telling me I need get back to it.

I lose track of how long I’m under the water, but it’s long enough for Payton to come looking for me. The glass door opens, hitting me with a cold blast of air. I want to turn around, to see her, to touch her, but I don’t. Instead, I wait for her to come to me.

Payton’s hands run tentatively across the muscles in my back, her mouth following the path her fingers are making. Her naked body presses against mine. I groan, resting my forehead against the tile wall to keep myself from turning around. Her arms wrap around me, gripping my chest. I grab ahold of her hands and hold her to me.

She presses her face into my back, kissing me, and she whispers, “Please don’t change your mind and make me regret giving this a chance.”

Her words are my undoing and I can’t keep myself from turning around anymore. I spin, pulling her wet body back up against mine and back her up against the wall. I tell myself again and again that I won’t take this further than kissing her, no matter how badly I want to feel her come apart around me while I’m buried deep inside her.

My dick is rock hard between us, throbbing against her stomach. Instead of letting my hands roam free like I really want to, I grab her face, tangling my fingers into her wet hair and worship her mouth.

More than once she tries to move her hands south and get things to go further, but I don’t let her. Sooner or later, one way or another, I will get her to realize that I don’t just want to be with her for sex.

I want her.
All
of her, not just her body. I want us, the four of us, and this is one of the only ways I can think of that will prove that.