Soundtracks of a Life (3 page)

Chapter 5

With the addition of Chris to the band our sound
really grew to the next level, we had a lot more range musically now. We started to get popular locally too, getting notoriety outside of the university realm. Playing bars with 200 to 300 people became more common and with spring and summer approaching we were now receiving invitations to play local festivals with thousands of people too.

Very quickly our “hobby” band was taking up more and more time in our lives and everybody’s grades were suffering for it, especially Chris’s. Between the band and the girls there was little time left for the law. His popularity with girls grew
exponentially with band. At the end of every concert he got surrounded by packs of girls all giggling and throwing themselves at him. Nobody was really surprised at this development… and though I would not admit, even to myself, it did irritate me a bit.

James served as our manager and accountant. He was in charge of booking our shows, collecting the pay and distributing it between us. After rehearsal he would usually give us our schedule for the upcoming gigs and  pay
us whatever was left for the gigs we had done after any expenses we may have had where covered.

“Alright gather up guys this is the day we all love…
payday at Wildfire.”  James says to us excitedly.

“Alright
! I freaking love payday!” Ted yells walking towards James. “You know all these girls are driving me poor man. I make more money now with the band but then I spend more money with the girls too… I never get ahead.”

“Yes your problems are heart breaking Ted,” James says
sarcastically. “Here you go… go nuts. Try to save some for a change!” He yells after Ted as he is walking away. “Hey Chris, here is your cut. We made quite a nice amount this time.”

“Cool,” Chris says. “What about the boss?”
He asks, noticing James distributed all the money without saving me any.

“Lorelai?”

“Yeah.”

“No, she never
takes her cut. She asks me to divide her cut between us. She never did, from the very start. I tried to her to get her take it but she said she doesn’t need it and it will make more difference to us than to her. I thought you knew.” He finishes off shrugging.

“Oh.”

I was packing my things up when Chris approaches me.

“That’s nice of you to give your cut to us.”

“Oh… yeah… well, I don’t need it really.”

“Still
… that’s cool of you.”

“Thanks.”
I say dismissively.

“So I broke the news to my folks about the band.”

“Oh really? How did that go?”

“Poorly. They weren’t happy for sure. They said it will get in the way of my studies. They aren’t wrong
either… my grades are definitely not the best lately. Luckily, they don’t know that yet!” He says grinning to me.

“Why did you decide to tell them?”

“Well it’s now a big part in my life so I didn’t want to keep it hidden you know?”

“Yeah I
understand.”

“Want to go grab some dinner? C’mon I’m
buying.” He shows me the pay he just received smiling happily.

“Ok, sounds good.”
I say smiling back, he helps me carry my stuff and we make our way out of the school campus. We head towards his car and go for pasta at an Italian restaurant that we both love in the always buzzing downtown Palo Alto.

“So
tomorrow I’ll be driving home.” He says while taking a hefty bite of pasta.  “This Sunday will be my brother’s graduation,” he pauses for a moment. “I was wondering if you want to go with me.”

“To your parents’ house?”
I say skeptical.

“Yeah.”

“How much do your parents know about me?”

“A lot.”
He responds in a sheepish voice.

“Oh so you just want to feed me to the wolves?” I say
teasingly.  “I bet they associate me with taking you to the dark side! They probably hate me Chris.”

“No they don’t. They know it was my
own decision to join the band. It doesn’t come as a shock to them either… I was always into playing music. Besides, they would probably give me a lot less grief if you were around!” He says grinning.

“Oh I see
your evil plans.” I smile back at him mockingly.

“No don’t worry. They are nice, and I would like if you came with me. I would like them to meet you.”
His tone is serious now.

“Chris.
.. I… I don’t know.” I reply looking away.

“C’mon, as my best friend…” He
gives me that irresistible smile and I take a deep breath. As if I could refuse that.

“Alright.” I say resigned. “I’ll probably regret this.”

“Cool.” He says ignoring my comments. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 9am.”

**************

Ne
xt morning, he is at my door nine in the morning sharp. He hands me a cup of coffee he picked up along the way here, puts my bag in the trunk of his car and we start the drive down to Santa Barbara where he grew up. We are having a good time chatting away mindlessly but as we get closer to our destination I start to feel apprehensive about meeting his parents. I didn’t quite understand why I felt the way I did. Maybe I was still afraid they would hate me for leading their son away from his studies to play music in my band.

We get to his parents place and
Chris parks along the driveway. I look around and the house is beautiful… right by the beach. Without ceremony he just goes inside the home passing the nicely decorated living room yelling, “Hello guys, we are here!” The patio door opens and his mom comes in to greet us. She is very pretty, with long flowing blond hair like Chris and a kind face.

“Hi son, we missed you.” She gives him a big hug. I
just stand back feeling out of place. Chris turns back pushes me to his side and says, “This is Lorelai.”

“Hi,” I say
sounding shyer than I ever sounded in my life. To my surprise, she smiles at me and takes me in for a big hug.

“Hello
, it is nice to finally meet you!” She says warmly. “We’ve heard a lot about you.” I raise my eye brow to Chris. Apparently he told a lot more to his folks than he let on to me.

“C’mon in and meet the rest of us, they are all on the deck playing cards.” They lead me to the deck facing the
beach. It has a gorgeous view of the ocean!

“Wow, you grew up here?” I say to Chris.

“Yeah.”

“Nice!”

Chris goes off and says hello to his dad, a gray haired men with deep blue eyes and a warm smile, the same kind of smile I’m used to seeing on Chris. He looks at Chris and you can see the pride on his face.

“Hi son,” he says, and gives Chris a warm hug.

His mom then says, “John this is Lorelai, Chris’s friend.”

He gets up
to greet me, as his mom points to the boy still sitting on the table now.

“And that is our
new graduate, Matt.”

His brother
looks like a young Chris, the same blond hair and blue eyes. Cute kid… will be another heartbreaker like Chris…

Chris gives his brother one of th
ose boys’ handshakes and his brother shyly says hello to me.

“H
ere let me take you to your room so you can get settled.” His mom says to me. “Are you hungry? We have some sandwiches in the kitchen.”

After getting settled, w
e hang out with his family for a while. They ask us a lot of questions about our band and I get the feeling they seemed to be ok with the idea, at least I didn’t feel any tension on the subject. I mostly hang back though, quietly watching their easy, happy interaction with each other.

Before dinner
Chris takes me to see his old bedroom. We have a good laugh looking at his old pictures and sports trophies and girlfriends (cheerleader… not surprised!)… A normal teenage life.

Throughout this
day and really ever since I arrived at his house, I’m feeling this strange unease feeling on the pit of my stomach that I could not quite understand what it was all about. I don’t say anything though, I try to ignore it and act like everything is fine. We go back to the living room and Chris starts helping set the table for dinner. His mom is cooking in the kitchen and I’m just sitting in the living room lost in my thoughts when it dawns on me why. I had never really been in a family setting like this since… well… my own family…

I guess I had never gotten this close to any one before and probably had avoided this kind of situation, anyway.
Understanding what was going on did nothing to improve the feeling. If nothing, it made me more aware of it all and I started feeling even worst. We sit for dinner, the home cooked meal smelling delicious. The table is full of laughter and happiness. I try to eat but I’m feeling sick to my stomach. I’m just not in the mood for food no matter how tasty it is… I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down but nothing works. I keep getting flashbacks of the many times I had that same setting going on with my own family… my mom, dad, me and my sister, all of us around the dinner table laughing, talking about the day and enjoying our meal together. My stomach is turning upside down. What was I thinking when I agreed to come here? I feel the walls closing in on me. All of a sudden it is as if there isn’t enough air in the room… I can’t breathe. I fell a sharp tightening in my chest like shards of glass are hitting my heart and a heavy weight is pressing down my chest. I need air. I want to scream. I manage to mumble “excuse me” and I leave the table running. They all go silent but I don’t notice… I’m practically bolting in the direction of the deck. I open the door as quickly as I can and run to the beach. There is still light out, the sun just starting to set. I feel my knees give in from under me and I just fall onto the sand, my head down.  I let out a painful cry, all the feelings I was trying to suppress coming out of me in such a bout that I need to gasp for air.

In my eagerness to leave the house I didn’t even notice
that Chris had taken off after me. He stopped himself just as I went down to my knees on the beach. He watched me cry for a moment, and then slowly approached me like one approaches a lost dog.

He
touches my head and asks worried. “What’s wrong Lor?”

I look at him
though tear drenched eyes. He has a deeply concerned expression on his face. He was eager to help me but had no idea how.  I can’t bring myself to say anything. He takes me in his arms and we just sit there as I cry helplessly on his chest. After I manage to calm myself down I don’t want to go back in the house yet so we just go for a walk down the beach. We are silent at first, but eventually I start to talk and explain to him what went on back at his house.

“I’m sorry,” he says
when I’m done. “I guess I didn’t stop to think about how this would feel to you when I invited you.”

“It’s ok. I didn’t think about either. It’s not your fault. I like that you did invite me. I’m sorry I reacted so poorly to it all.”

“Lori, you don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m embarrassed to go back now. I
ruined your family’s dinner time on what should be a happy occasion for them. Nice guest I am.”

“You didn’t
ruin anything. They are probably just concerned that you are ok. You don’t have to be embarrassed. No one will care about what happened.”

We make our walk back to the house. The twilight turning almost completely dark now
and we can see the moon rising in the horizon. Chris has his arms around me as we walk and I can’t help noticing it feels really good.

We enter the house again. His dad is watching TV and his mom is
now finishing cleaning up the kitchen. They act normal, like nothing happened, which I appreciate deeply.

“Hope you a
re you feeling better now.” She says when she sees me.

“Yes
,” I reply shyly not able to keep looking at her.

“Ok, good,” she smiles
like it is no big deal. “We saved you a plate of food in case you get hungry. It’s on the microwave. Help yourself, if you want.”

I thank her b
ut I’m not hungry. I just decide to go to my room and rest.

Next morning, we go to the graduation ceremony
and afterwards Chris takes me for a tour of the town. When we return I take some time to be alone.  I’m sitting by the beach, lost in thoughts, when Chris comes to me.

“C’mon, get on your swim suit. We are going surfing.”
He says excitedly.

“Surfing?
” I look at him puzzled. “I can’t surf.”

“Exactly. I’m going to teach you!” he says with a
boyish smile on his face that would be hard to resist.

“I didn’t know you surf
ed.”

“Well, you do now. C’mon let’s go.”
He says helping me up.