Southern Seduction (39 page)

Jackson leans forward and plants a kiss on my lips. It isn’t what I was expecting, but it is pleasant. Part of me wants to grab him by the collar and take him back to my room and part of me wants to kick him hard.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you today in Dani’s front yard.”

“Jackson, you probably shouldn’t have kissed me, but I’m adopting Dani’s carefree attitude for the week, so what the hell.” Did I just say that?

“Any time, darlin’.” He smirks at me just before he shoves a giant forkful of pie in his mouth.

“You pig!” I say, laughing as his high school persona reappears. “Some things never change, do they?”

He reaches over, takes the remainder of my pie, and shoves it into his mouth before I can stop him.

With a mouthful of pie, he mumbles, “Nope. Some things are better left unchanged, Savvy. You used to share everything with me. Let’s just go back about eight years, okay?”

Even through the pie, I can hear every word he says. I used to think that I could read his mind.

“Eight years ago, we wouldn’t have been here. We would have been in my room doing all sorts of things we weren’t supposed to be doing.”

“Let’s go then. I am totally willing to live in the past, especially since the present is so depressing.”

I shake my head at Jackson and give him a soft punch in the arm. “Jackson Moore, I might have fallen for that years ago, but I’m a bit more savvy these days. No pun intended. Pay our bill and take me back to Dani’s. I think I need to see my mother.”

Standing in front of my childhood home is a surreal experience. I don’t think I have ever knocked on my own front door before. I raise my hand to rap against the slate blue door panel and stop. Fear takes over and I lower my hand. What would I even say to her? I swing around to leave just as the door opens.

“Savvy? Is that you?”

Her voice sounds exactly the same. I slowly turn around and see my mama standing in the doorway. She looks the same too.
She’s beautiful.
She has a few more crinkles in the corner of her eyes, but other than that, she’s still stunning. Her hair still hangs down the center of her back, and her figure is that of a much younger girl. We could be sisters.

“Hey, Mama, it’s me. How are you?” My voice is soft and shaky.

“Come in, Savvy. We have so much to talk about.”

I hesitate at first, but when I see the look in her eyes, I can’t hold back and my feet seem to walk forward on their own. Once inside the living room, I look around and realize that nothing is the same. The walls are painted a neutral tan instead of the sage green they once were. The floors are no longer carpeted. They are tiled and have area rugs. Where the old brown sectional sofa used to be now sits a sofa and two chairs. I look at my mama as if to ask,
What happened?

“A lot has changed since you left, Savvy. I remarried. His name is Dwight.”

So I was still living in the past and my mama has already buried it. It doesn’t really surprise me. She has always been the type of person that looked out for herself first. I remember her telling me that she had to put herself first so that she could be there for me when I needed her. It made sense when I was little, but now I realize that she was just a selfish woman. So she’s married to someone named Dwight. What the hell’s with the D names?

“He’s a good man. He works in construction. His skills come in handy when you own an aging house,” she jokes. “Can I get you something to drink? I have sweet tea ready, or I can make you some coffee.”

“Sweet tea will be great. I just finished having a cup of coffee at Tookie’s with Jackson.”

Her eyes lift in surprise at the mention of Jackson’s name. “How is Jackson? What about his parents?” she asks as she heads to the kitchen to get the tea.

“Just as handsome as ever. He lives in Phoenix now. His dad lives in Texas with his new family, and his mama is in New Orleans. She never remarried.” My mama’s eyes turn downward in shame. I know she’s thinking about her part in the destruction of Jackson’s parent’s marriage. “Mama, I’m so sorry that I left you when you needed me the most. I couldn’t handle the stares and sneers coming from people who were supposed to be our friends. When Jackson left me, I blamed you.” The tears fall freely from my eyes.

“Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. You were an eighteen-year-old girl. You didn’t have the maturity or life experience to deal with what was happening. I was thirty-five and I barely made it through the mess. I knew better, Savvy. Yet, I did it anyway. I risked it all and I lost it all. I lost you, because at that moment, I was more important.”

“Oh, Mama, those Moore men are hard to resist. I’ve been home for less than a day and Jackson already kissed me.” I fidget in my seat before I ask the question I really need answered. “Why did you sleep with him, Mama? Didn’t you even think about me? What you did ruined my life, Mama. You took away the one thing I loved. It’s been seven years and I’m still mad at you!” I yell.

“Savvy, I was just thinking about me. I was a middle-aged woman who hadn’t been appreciated by a man in a while. He showed interest and I liked it. The Moore men are incredibly handsome. I wasn’t thinking about anything but the itch between my legs. I never considered you or Jackson. I didn’t plan on getting caught. He told me that she was in New Orleans at an art exhibit. He had the house to himself.”

“You do realize that your selfish action changed the course of my life forever, right? Jackson and I were going to Alabama. At first we were both in shock, but eventually he decided that being with me was like slapping his mama in face. He was the one, and after you did what you did, he wouldn’t look at me. We had plans to take off on Saturday and he never showed up.”

“I’m sorry, Savvy. In some ways, I never grew up. I married your daddy when I was really young. He made all of the decisions, and I just moved through life oblivious to everything around me. In some ways, I think that you raised me for a while. When your daddy died, you kind of took over. It wasn’t until you walked out seven years ago that I had to finally take care of myself.”

“Now you have Dwight.” There is a hint of disgust in my voice. Will she ever be able to stand on her own?

“Yes, now I have Dwight, but he didn’t come into the picture until two years ago. We just got married last year.”

“I don’t know how to get past this, but I’m tired of holding on to it.”

Mama looks around the room and then changes the subject. “How was coffee with Jackson?”

“It was good. It felt as if we were never apart. I was a bit shocked by the kiss, but if I’m honest with myself, I liked it. It felt like home.”

“I want to box that boy’s ears. It’s got to be tough enough for you to be here and now you have to deal with Jackson. What that boy did to you is unforgivable.”

“What you did to me was unforgivable, Mama, but I’m willing to try. Jackson and I worked our stuff out. He suffered just as much as I did. He left me because he felt like he had to choose between his mama and me. Staying with me meant that he was okay with you sleeping with his dad. It’s the way an eighteen-year-old boy’s brain works. I left because I couldn’t handle the scandal. I had my foot across the state line long before it happened, but I thought I was going to Alabama. I waited at the fairgrounds all night for him, but he was probably halfway across Mississippi before I realized he wasn’t coming.”

“You two were the innocent victims in this whole mess. I’m not justifying my actions, but I will say that you can’t break up a good marriage. That goes for Dani’s too. They were too young to get married. Everyone knew that Sterling wouldn’t stay faithful—even Dani knew it. She sat in this kitchen last week and told me so herself.”

“Dani was here? She came and talked to you?”

“Dani talked to me all of the time. I always knew where you were and what you were doing. I just hoped that someday we could get together and bury the past. Dani knew that Sterling screwed around. She was willing to put up with it as long as they were together. So many people thought that their marriage was doomed from the start. She made a conscious effort to stay in it to prove people wrong.”

“I was her best friend. Why didn’t she confide in me?” I can’t believe I’m hearing all of this now.

“She looked up to you, Savvy. You were able to survive without the love of your life, but she knew that she never could.”

“Everyone says that she died from complications from diabetes. What do you think?”

“Honey, there’s nothing sinister going on here. Dani wasn’t eating well, and the stuff she was eating was not good for her. You know that she never managed her diabetes well. She ate what she wanted and pumped insulin in to compensate. The last few weeks, she wasn’t eating at all. Her mama was beside herself, but she couldn’t strap her down and force-feed her. Her blood sugars got out of control and her organs began to shut down. It happened so fast.”

“Oh, Mama.” I cry out before I collapse into my mama’s arms and let loose seven years of sorrow.

We spent the next few hours catching up with each other. Dwight came home from work to find his wife cradling an adult woman, and to his credit, he didn’t interrupt or comment. When we were finished blubbering, we looked up to find that he had gone out and purchased dinner—fried chicken, fried catfish, cheddar grits, and greens. The only thing that could have made the dinner perfect would have been a buttermilk biscuit dripping in butter and Dani walking in to join us for dinner.

“Where are you staying, Savvy? You can stay here if you want. Your room has been turned into Dwight’s office, but we have a rollaway bed.”

“I’m at the Super 8. I appreciate the offer, but I need some time to myself. So much has happened today. I just want to go to my room and crash.” I rise from the table full but lighter in spirit. Talking to my mama answered a lot of questions for me. I hold out my hand to Dwight and say, “It was nice meeting you.” Mama walks me to the door, and I give her a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mama.”

I walk out of the house to the sound of crickets, katydids, and frogs—the sound of home. I stop to breathe in the damp air. So much has changed since this morning. I was so convinced that I was walking into hell on earth, and somehow, I have been shown a little slice of heaven. I look up from the ground and find Jackson leaning on the hood of my car.

“What are you doing leaning on my car, Jackson Moore? Are you stalking me?”

“I might be, Savvy. I’ve been standing here all day just hoping that you would emerge and here you are.” Jackson was always a tease. He had a way of using sarcasm that always made me roll my eyes. “Actually, I was making sure Jefferson didn’t need anything before I headed to my hotel. I saw you walking out the door.” Jackson shifts his body weight and crosses his arms over his chest. “How did it go?”

“Really well. Thanks for suggesting it. I’m really glad that I got to see her again. We have a lot of things to work through. Today was a step in that direction,” I sigh. “Did you know that she got married again? I never thought that she would marry anyone after my daddy died, but I’m glad that she did. He seems like a really nice man, and he knows how to buy good food,” I say with a giggle. “By the way, my mama says she is going to box your ears for kissing me today.” I stick out my tongue at him as I walk toward the driver’s side door.

Jackson moves so quickly that I don’t even register his body next to mine. His arms fold around me as he plants a knee-buckling kiss on my lips. He pries my mouth open with his insistent tongue and devours me as I melt into his embrace. I throw caution to the wind and return his kiss—full force.

“Oh my God, Jackson, I haven’t been kissed like that since high school,” I tell him.

“If I’m going to get my ears boxed, then it’s going to be for something good. That little peck at Tookie’s hardly counts.”

I peel myself away from Jackson and open the door to my rental car. I don’t even know how I made it inside of the car. That kiss took me back a long way. The scent of his cologne and the feel of his body next to mine seem so right. Knowing that I’ll be in trouble if I stay, I shift my car into reverse and tear out of the driveway. I need to get as far away from Jackson as possible. I remember what his body feels like inside of mine, and I am weak when it comes to him. He’s always been my Achilles’ heel.