Southern Seduction (38 page)

I didn’t realize how loud my voice had become, but when I stopped talking, I had the attention of the entire household. Everyone was silent, and all eyes were on me. I walked over to Dani’s mom to give her a hug.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I just couldn’t let him stand there and play the victim. I’m sorry.” I turn to run out the door, but Dani’s mom stops me in my tracks.

“Savannah Morgan Steele, you get back here this instant.” I am twenty-five years old and the use of my full name can still fill me with fear.

“Yes, ma’am.” I return to stand in front of Dottie.

“I know you loved my daughter. You were a better sister to her than her own blood. I know what Sterling did to her, and I hate that she suffered under him. He didn’t kill her, honey. Her diabetes killed her. I don’t like that he’s here any more than you do, but he’s still technically her husband and I don’t have a right to ask him to leave.”

The tears are falling silently from my eyes. I see the pain of a mother in front of me, and I wonder if my own mother felt the same pain the day I walked out of her life.

“You do have a right to ask him to leave, Mrs. St. Clair. He may be able to attend her funeral, but he has no right to your home. He may not have killed her directly, but I hold him responsible for her death anyway. If you have nothing for me to do, then I’ll be going. I’ll see you at the visitation tomorrow night.”

“Savannah honey, I know that you’re suffering. I would like you to do something for me before you go. It’s something that I haven’t been able to do yet. The funeral home needs an outfit for my baby, and I just don’t know what she would have wanted to wear. She never stepped out of t-shirts and sweatpants since she came home. Could you pick something out for her and take it to Humbles Mortuary for me?”

My hand brushes the tears that have fallen on my cheeks. “Yes, ma’am. I will be happy to pick out Dani’s last outfit.”

Entering Dani’s room is like entering a time capsule. Looking around me, I am assaulted by the memories of my best friend. Her childhood room has remained like it was the day she left town seven years ago. Her walls are littered with concert and movie ticket stubs. Her bedspread is the same pink chenille cover that she had her senior year of high school. Her pom-poms hang loosely over her headboard. Her lip marks are on the mirror where she would kiss herself on the way out of the door, saying, “You look hot, babe.” I can’t help but smile at the memory.

I sit at her vanity table and play with the perfume bottles that line the top. Dani loved perfume bottles, especially the ones with the rubber bulb attached. I smell several of them and the scents bring me back to places that I have not thought of in a long time. I am so lost in my memories that I don’t hear the door open behind me.

“What are thinking about that’s making you smile?” Jackson asks from behind me.

Startled by his voice, I drop the bottle I’m holding. This causes a chain reaction and makes all of the bottles fall like dominoes. I begin to laugh and cry at the same time. Trying to gain some control over my emotions, I set out to right all of the overturned bottles. I feel Jackson right behind me. I could always feel him before I could see him. I have a sixth sense about me when it came to Jackson.

“I was just remembering how Dani would kiss the mirror before she left the room. She always told herself how beautiful she was. Maybe it was because she wasn’t hearing it from the people around her, or maybe it was because she was Dani and that was her way.”

“I’m going to say that it was because it was Dani. She was beautiful. I can still see her long blond hair and her milk chocolate brown eyes. I think that’s what Sterling fell in love with.” He walks over to the vanity to help me straighten out my mess.

“I think it was her boobs. She had large breasts and she had no problem showing them off,” I declare.

Jackson begins to laugh. I used to love his laugh. “I have to admit that, as a young man in high school, her boobs were the topic of many locker room conversations.”

“Oh really? What else did you boys discuss in the locker room?” I ask.

“Don’t get me wrong. Once we were dating, I only had eyes for your boobs, Savvy. They were the best boobs I’d ever seen. In fact, I haven’t met a pair that stand up to yours.” Jackson smiles at me, and I can’t help but warm to him.

Sniffling, I respond, “I’m glad that something about me made a lasting impression.”

“Come on, Savvy. You know that I loved you. I have never stopped thinking about you.”

That statement really catches me off guard. Jackson was the love of my life, and we were supposed to run off into the sunset with one another. I realize now that fairytales rarely come true. Hell, look at Dani. She’s lying in a wooden box, waiting for me to bring her clothes. I can almost hear her saying, “Savvy, I better look good or I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life.” With that thought, I rise from the bench and set out to find an outfit that would make Dani proud.

“What do think of this shirt, Jackson? Turquoise blue was her favorite color. I thought that this would be good with black pants. It’s low-cut enough that her best assets will be shown. A couple of gold chains and some earrings and she’ll be as stunning in death as she was in life.”

“I think that it will be wonderful, Savvy. I’ll go with you to the funeral home. We can drop the clothes off and then go to Tookie’s just like old times.”

“Oh, Jackson, I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. My emotions are all over the place. I mean, we haven’t talked in seven years.”

“Then we have a lot of catching up to do. Let’s go.” He pulls me from Dani’s room and into the living room, where I show Dottie the clothes I’ve chosen. After her approval, we drive directly to Humbles and then straight to Tookie’s.

Somehow we end up in “our booth.” It’s the booth that sits farthest from the door. We liked that booth because it was out of the way. We could hide there and do our homework—or steal a kiss—and no one would bother us. Etched into the top of the table are our initials. After all of these years, it still says
SS and JM forever
.

“Wow, I have just been transported about a decade back in time,” Jackson says.

“Weird, huh?” I question.

“Yes, but it’s also comforting to know that some things stay the same. How has life been treating you, Savvy? Do you like Colorado?”

“Oh, things have been pretty good. I like Colorado. It’s beautiful. Colorado Springs sits at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. I can see Pikes Peak from my living room window. It was a tough adjustment at first. Having lived in the South all of my life, there’s a way of life here that you don’t find anywhere else.”

“Are you saying that you miss Leesville?”

“No, I’m saying that it’s different in Colorado. The people are different. The language is different. It took me two years to stop saying things like, ‘That just dudden add up.’ No one in Colorado calls me darlin’ or honey or sweetie, and I haven’t had a good cup of coffee since I left here.”

“Same in Arizona. I haden’ thought about it much, but id-in-it funny how we are all from the same country and can’t understand one another?” His lips turn up into a crooked smile—the same crooked smile that made my heart melt all those years ago.

Laughing at Jackson’s poke at Southern speak, I think back to a time when things were always this easy between us.

“What can I get you two today?” the waitress asks.

“Definitely coffee and two slices of pecan pie for now.” Turning to me, he says, “I hope that you didn’t mind me ordering for you, Savvy. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. If I overstepped my boundaries, then I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s good. That’s exactly what I would have ordered for myself. Chicory coffee and Tookie’s pecan pie.”

We both sit in silence for a few minutes. I can’t help but look at Jackson. He was a very handsome boy, and he has turned out to be a handsome man. His hair is still raven black and his eyes are the prettiest color of ocean blue. That’s a deadly combination for most women. We used to tease each other about our hair color, because I have the same black hair. I used to tell him that it was because his dad was the town stud and fathered all of the black-haired children. Little did I know then that what I was saying had some truth to it.

“What are you thinking about, Savvy? You seemed to drift far away for a moment.” His eyes are looking at me with concern.

“I was thinking about a lot of things. You haven’t changed much, Jackson. You still look the same, only more mature. The years have been good to you.”

“I would say the same to you, Savvy. You look stunningly beautiful, even though you’ve had tears running down your face all day.” He reaches up with his thumb and proceeds to wipe something from under my eye.

For all I know, I could resemble a raccoon right now. I pull out my compact to make sure that I’m not in too bad of shape. The girl looking back in the mirror looks tired and sad, but her makeup is still in check.

“It’s been a tough day. I was shocked to see you step out of the car today. I knew you were here because I ran into your brother at the airport, but seeing you was still a surprise. Is Jefferson still dating Donna?”

“Yes he is, although I don’t know what he sees in her. He called me the minute you walked out of the airport to let me know that you were in town.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I asked him to call me if he saw you.”

“Why?”

“Because we have a lot of unfinished business, Savvy.”

“Oh, Jackson, it was a long time ago. It’s old news.”

“Is it? I think about it all of the time. I think about you all of the time. I had no idea where you were for years. Then Jefferson started dating Donna and I learned that you were in Colorado. I’ve been trying to get the goods on you for a long time. When Dani died, I knew you would come here. I came because of you, not because of Dani. I liked Dani, but we never would have been friends if it weren’t for you. As for Sterling, he was always an ass. He’s never been faithful and probably never will be. It’s not in his genetic makeup.”

I look into Jackson’s eyes as he says the words “genetic makeup.”

“He’s an ass all right, but I don’t think infidelity is a trait you pass on to your kids.” I look straight at him to see how he responds.

“Why don’t we address the white elephant sitting in the room, Savvy? I want to get past this issue. I owe you an apology. I didn’t have the maturity back then to know better. I know better now. I’m sorry, Savvy.”

I am shocked by his apology but intrigued by what he has to say. In a matter of moments, my life had changed, and now he’s apologizing? Did I ever blame him? I guess somewhere deep down inside I hated him for holding me responsible for what our parents did.

“You don’t owe me anything, Jackson. I just wish you wouldn’t have left me out there waiting for you. I waited all night in the rain for you to come. You could have just called or told me that you couldn’t stand to be around me anymore. That’s what it came down to—wasn’t it?”

“Savvy, I was so stupid. When my mother caught your mother and my father in bed together, I felt like I was betraying my mother as well. I was in love with the enemy’s daughter. I hated your mom for ruining my parents’ marriage. Initially, I wasn’t even mad at my dad. The women in your family are beautiful. You all have black hair and jade green eyes that seem to suck the soul out of a man when he’s in your presence. I know that’s how I feel when I’m around you. I gave my dad an out. I figured he was helpless where your mom was concerned. In hindsight, I know better now. A long time ago you said that my dad was a stud that fathered the black-haired children in town.”

Oh my God, is he a mind reader now? I was just thinking that a few minutes ago and now he’s saying it. “I was joking when I said that, Jackson.”

“Yeah, I know, but the crazy part is that it’s true. There are three other kids in town besides you, Jefferson, and me that have jet-black hair, and guess what? They are all my dad’s illegitimate offspring.”

“I heard rumors, but I was so far away by then that it didn’t matter. I always thought it was unfair that my mama took the blame for everything. I would walk down the street and hear people talk about what a whore my mother was. I hated her for making my life a mess and for making you go away. Do you know that I haven’t spoken to my mom in seven years?”

“You should go and see her, Savvy. I bet she would really like to see you.”

“I don’t know. I bailed on her when she needed me the most. Why would she want to see me? What would I say to her? I walked away because I was angry with her for what she did. She stole my future because she was selfish.”

“Seven years is a long time to hold a grudge. I bailed on you when you needed me the most, and here we are, in Tookie’s having coffee and pie. I’m sorry, Savvy. I was a jerk. Go and see your mom. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.”

“I appreciate it, Jackson. You don’t need to be sorry. You were eighteen years old. It’s the past. I’m tired of living in the past. Let’s make a pact. I don’t want to remember Dani in a sad way. I want to remember the girl who threw caution to the wind. If I have to be here this week, then I’m going to do everything I can to make it a memorable week. I know there will be sad moments. However, I’m going to try to build just as many positive memories as well. What do you say, Jackson?”