Sparkle (21 page)

“Thirsty,” she said.

“It’s good.”

Joe was working himself up. He was also showing off, in a sort of juvenile way. LaVonne could see it clearly. The drinks…well, she’d give him a break, since he was so awkward and inexperienced, and had had such a crummy day.

She hadn’t had the best day herself. Finally, though, she was alone with Joe. Since she’d declared herself, he had been on her mind almost constantly, and the urge to reach out and hold him, rock him, make him feel better, was primal and almost irresistible. Joe seemed so innocent and helpless in certain ways, like a child forced to take care of a situation way out of his league. It brought up powerful sensations that LaVonne had been blocking for a long time—strongly sexual and paradoxically motherly.

Joe looked down at the table. “I’m sorry about the other night,” he mumbled.

“Why’s that?”

He rubbed his eyes hard before he looked up. “It’s not what you think.” He spoke clearly and without hesitation. “It was rude. I felt like an idiot. I felt like a trapped rat. But I’m not going to lie to you, LaVonne. That’s not why I’m sorry. I’m sorry because you coming over was the best thing that happened to me in a lot of years. I felt like I’d won the lottery. I’m sorry, because I’ve been crazy about you ever since the first time you took my order. I’m sorry that you left. Sorry for myself.”

It was quite a speech. Especially for Joe. LaVonne savored it for a long moment before answering.

“You know what, Joe? I’m sorry, too. But I came back.” She took a long sip of wine. “Do you remember that time, right after you started coming in, when I was out in the parking lot and that guy was giving me a hard time?”

“No,” Joe said, honestly.

“You don’t?” she laughed. “You got right in between us, Joe. You could’ve been killed. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah. I was scared.”

“Yeah? Well, you didn’t show it. You just stood there between us. You weren’t violent or anything. Just solid. You made me feel safe. The only thing you said was ‘maybe you should get in your car and go, LaVonne.’ So I did. But I didn’t want to.”

“I remember now.”

“You protected me. I haven’t always been smart about guys. Nobody’s ever protected me, unless they thought I was a piece of property. You’re my friend. I didn’t want to leave that time. And to tell you the truth, I’m not planning to leave this time.”

Joe stared. Did she just say what I thought she said? “It’s kind of late.”

“Yeah? I’m a big girl. I make my own bedtime.”

Joe held his breath. “Are you saying you want to stay?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve been thinking about this just as long as you have.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“So why don’t you just ask me to stay, see what happens?”

Joe swallowed hard. “Would you…like to stay? Would you like to stay over?” Great. Sounds like I’m asking her to a pajama party.

LaVonne smiled. “That depends on what you’ve got in mind for me.”

“You’d better give me another one,” he said. “Please.”

LaVonne poured. Joe drank. Not the whole glass this time, though.

She gave him a mischievous look. Finally, something fun was going to happen. “So,” she said. “Just how big is your…tub?” She had been thinking about the claw-foot tub all day. “Follow me, mister. And bring your glass.”

She headed for the bathroom. Joe followed, chewing his lower lip.

“Come on in,” she said. She shut the door behind him.

LaVonne turned to Joe. He was holding a glass of wine in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. She took off her blouse. She was wearing a frilly white-lace bra. Joe had never seen anything like it, except in pictures.

His eyes dropped to his feet. “I already took a shower,” he managed.

LaVonne laughed. She held out her hand for Joe’s smoke, took a drag off it, and stubbed it in the sink with a hiss.

“It’s okay for you to look at me, Joe. I want you to.” She smiled and came closer, began to unbutton his shirt. “Like I said, Joe, I’ve been thinking about you, too. Did anyone ever tell you that you have pretty lips?”

LaVonne didn’t need to wait for an answer. She tenderly moved her face to his, touched his mouth with hers. He let her kiss him. Neither of them moved. Even their lips were quiet and still, barely touching. She felt something she couldn’t remember ever feeling before, as though her head suddenly drained of thoughts and she was floating somewhere quiet and good.

“Oh,” she murmured.

Joe began to shiver like a kid who’s stayed in the pool too long. He didn’t feel scared, except about whether LaVonne might realize that he was a virgin. But his body was in unfamiliar territory, and he couldn’t stop shaking. He felt it was his job now to do something, make some kind of move. He just wasn’t sure what. Things were getting hotter, and he could feel himself start to thicken and grow. His pants were getting painfully tight in the crotch.

He moved away and clumsily tried to pull them off. It was the only thing he could think of. He’d gotten one leg out and was hopping to remove the other, when his foot slid out from under him.

Crash! He hit the floor with a thud hard enough to open and empty the medicine cabinet into the sink.

Once LaVonne stopped laughing and assured him he hadn’t hurt himself, she made him forget all about the bruise emerging on his backside. She was surprised to find Joe so willing, tender, and vulnerable. He seemed completely present, electrified by her every touch and word.

She lost interest in the bathtub. They moved from the bathroom into the hallway, and from the hallway into Joe’s bed.

Joe was obviously in need of some serious attention. Even though he was quick, he wasn’t selfish. He had a lot of stored-up energy, and the first time was clearly only a start.

After the initial rush passed, Joe’s body began to shiver again. He hugged LaVonne tightly, trying to stop it. “I’m sorry…I d-don’t know why this is happening.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” She held him until he calmed down. Then she kissed him and whispered to him. Having her in control helped them both feel safer.

Later they rested together, legs touching.

“Maybe I was right about you after all,” she said.

For the moment, Joe’s mind was pleasantly blank, his body wonderfully relaxed. It had all been so different from what he’d imagined. So much skin touching skin, a warmth like nothing else he’d ever felt. He lit the first smoke he had truly enjoyed in weeks and leaned back against the headboard.

“You never know.” Joe had a hard time accepting compliments.

“Feel better?” LaVonne asked. The words came out without thinking, and she suddenly realized that she needed some reassurance. She hadn’t expected that.

Joe’s voice was weary and gentle. “Finally.”

The only problem was that LaVonne’s question made him think about Eddie. He shifted uncomfortably, self-conscious all of a sudden. He’d forgotten about his brother completely for a little while.

“Actually, I feel very tired, like I just want to sleep for about three days.”

“Was it okay?” she asked, surprising herself again. She was fishing.

“Oh, yeah. I—” Joe had a sudden strong urge to leap out of bed and check on Eddie, but his eyes seemed to be closing involuntarily.

“That’s okay, Joe.” LaVonne realized that Joe was gone again, or well on the way, and that she’d better get her feet back on the ground. “I was just thinking that you deserved to be happy for a little while after what you went through today.”

Joe didn’t answer.

Time to lighten up, she thought. “So if anything makes you happy, now’s the time to tell me what it is.” She smiled, waited.

Joe was practically asleep. “Baseball,” he mumbled, sincerely.

LaVonne laughed. Joe had a knack for changing the subject. “I have a nine-year-old nephew you should meet. He feels the same way,” she said.

“It’s fairly common,” Joe said sleepily, eyes still closed. He’d stopped thinking about Eddie again.

“Well, I think you’re special, although you and my nephew do have a lot in common. He’s not too happy, either. He can’t get on a team. They don’t have enough coaches.”

“Mmmmm,” Joe said.

“You ever think of doing something like that?”

Joe couldn’t remember a time he had felt so tired. “I can’t even keep track of my brother,” he muttered. “Who’d trust me with a bunch of kids?”

“There are worse things you—” LaVonne couldn’t finish. She realized she was starting to cry. She leaned over and blew out the candle. It was almost burned down anyway.

Chapter 29

Tuesday

Eddie’s mind worked madly, though his body remained still through the long night. The only outward sign of his unrest was his breath. It was ragged and shallow, and stopped many times for long seconds.

Jolie’s face seemed to hover in front of him, as though she were trying to tell him something. Only it wasn’t Jolie, it was his mom. And Lucy. And Jolie. All at the same time.

They all desperately needed something from him; he couldn’t figure out what. The most troubling part was the sensation that if he didn’t find out soon, something terrible would happen.

Eddie was little, and he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. The Shiny Gold commercial was playing on a television screen behind him. Everyone was behind him: his mom, his dad, Joe, Lucy Jolie, even Mark. And Lucy wasn’t alone. The spirits of all the people he had cleaned up after were there, too.

They were all watching him, waiting. He wanted to turn around, to see if there was any help for him, but there was only one way to go: up.

There seemed to be an awful lot of stairs, and Eddie was suddenly bone-tired.

Then he felt the hard, relentless thumping in his chest, and heard his mom’s voice. “You need to let go, Eddie. Just let go,” she said. “Promise me.”

Then he heard Jolie. “You need to never come in here again. Promise me.”

It was Lucy’s turn next. “You need to find out why. You need to make the catch. Promise me.”

He looked down, and there was a fresh bottle of Shiny Gold in his hand. It gave him a little strength, and he started up the stairs.

He reached the top and hesitated only briefly before reaching out for the door.

Joe was having the dream again, the one about his dad at the Pilots game, the dream he always had, and then it changed.

He was little, lying on his back in the drizzling rain, looking up at his dad. Dad had the fly ball he’d just knocked Joe down to catch, and was holding it up in the air, triumphant. It should have been Joe’s. Why wouldn’t Dad give him the ball and help him up?

Then Eddie was there, and suddenly Dad had a gun. Something awful was going to happen, and there was nothing Joe could do to stop it. He closed his eyes, terrified. He didn’t want to see

When he opened them, Eddie was there and Dad was gone. Eddie held the ball in one hand. He offered it to Joe as he reached his other hand down to help him up.

Joe was scared to death to take his brother’s hand. He was sure that instead of Eddie pulling him up, he would pull Eddie down.

But Eddie insisted. Joe began to swing his arms wildly to avoid taking his brother’s outstretched hand.

He smacked LaVonne right in the face.

“Ouch!” LaVonne sat up in bed, holding her head. “Wake up, Joe. Joe, wake up!”

Joe sat bolt upright. He was wet with sweat and freaked out. Before he could wake up enough to stop himself, he said, “Eddie. He saved me again.”

“Saved you? From what?” LaVonne rubbed her cheek and the corner of her eye. Joe had really caught her.

He got up and walked aimlessly around the room. LaVonne waited.

“Nothing,” he finally said.

All of a sudden LaVonne felt sick to her stomach. Joe looked and sounded totally different than he had a couple of hours earlier, when they had gone to sleep. He was pacing like a cat in a cage. He seemed unaware that she was in the room. She decided to keep quiet and give him a chance to get his bearings.

After a couple of minutes, he turned and looked at her. His voice was cold, and his eyes had a glazed blind look. “Actually, you know what? You’d better go. Yeah. I need you to go.” Then he turned his back to her.

LaVonne had dealt with bad stuff from men before, but having Joe talk to her with that tone, after she had opened up to him the way she had, hurt far worse than the accidental blow. She moved closer to him.

“No, Joe. Not again.” She was firm and quiet, not pleading. She put her hands gently on his shoulders from behind. “You don’t want to do this. You had a bad dream, that’s all.”

Joe shrugged her hands off angrily. “Just leave me alone.”

LaVonne took a deep breath. Her emotions were quickly shifting from hurt to anger. “Look at me, Joe.”

“I don’t want to,” he snapped. He sounded like a thirteen-year-old. “I sleep with you one damn time and you’re already on my case, trying to tell me what to do. I don’t need it!”

That did it. Compassion could go only so far. LaVonne dressed quickly. Joe said nothing, didn’t move a muscle. She went as far as the bedroom door, then turned around.

“I understand why Eddie took off,” she said. “It’s no mystery. You blame everything on his big problems. It’s convenient for you because then you never have to look at yourself.”

Joe sagged down on the bed. He wasn’t really awake, and the spastic energy that had jerked him around the room went out of him like a deflating balloon. “Yeah, like I have a choice,” he muttered.

“At least Eddie fights his demons. You just give in to yours.” Then she was gone.

Joe stared at his feet. He winced at the muffled slam of the front door as LaVonne walked out into the early-morning darkness.

Chapter 30

Both Joe and Eddie woke up feeling horrible. Joe’s mouth tasted as if something had died in it. His whole body stank from fearful sweat.

After LaVonne left, he had wandered around his room like a zombie for a few moments, unable to pull himself out of his nightmares, then fallen down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He must have passed out, because he opened his crusty eyes at six and crawled out of bed. He showered for a long time, scrubbing his body all over with a cheap rough washcloth that was foamy with harsh bar-soap. He brushed his teeth until his gums bled. When he was done, he felt raw, and still not clean.