Speak of the Devil (31 page)

“Can I ask you a question?” Hector said.

“Sure.”

“You still planning to marry Jack Bailey?”

She held up her left hand, showing the ring there. Hector smiled ruefully.

“What do you have against him?” she asked.

“Nothing, it’s just—it was just the whole situation. I hated that he didn’t appreciate what he had. Nina was—she
is
—just incredible.”

“So I hear.” It was Anna’s turn to smile ruefully.

• • •

After two weeks, Anna’s hours started to normalize. She wondered when Jack would raise the subject of Nina visiting Olivia. But it turned out to be Olivia who raised the issue, albeit unknowingly.

It was a chilly mid-November morning, but their hotel room was warm and scented with fresh-brewed coffee. They all sat at the breakfast table. Olivia ate Cheerios; Anna and Jack nursed coffees and swapped sections of the
Washington Post.
They were still at the hotel, but not for much longer.

“Guess what?” Jack asked Olivia.

“What?”

“We get to move back home in a few days.”

“Yay! Will we get Raffles back?”

“Yes.” Anna smiled at her.

“Is Mommy’s spirit still at our house or did she get lonely and go away while we were gone?”

Anna paused with the coffee mug halfway to her mouth. Jack looked to her. She took a deep breath and nodded.

“Honey,” he said to Olivia. “I have to tell you something. It’s surprising, but it’s wonderful.”

“We’re getting a puppy?” Olivia slurped a spoonful of cereal.

“Even better. Your mom is alive.”

“What?”

“She’s been living in another city.”

Olivia put the spoon down and folded her arms across her chest. “Why?”

“Sometimes grown-ups have to do things for work. Even if they don’t want to.”

“Yeah, Anna told me that’s why we’re staying at the hotel. I don’t think I like work.” She narrowed her eyes at her father. “Did you know? Were you lying to me the whole time?”

“No.” Jack grimaced. “I just found out myself.”

“So she tricked you? That’s bad. She’s bad.”

“She’s not.” Anna spoke for the first time. Both Jack and Olivia swiveled their heads toward her. “She loves you, Olivia, very much.”

“Mm,” Olivia said. She was skeptical about whether Nina was a good person. But she wasn’t as shocked about Nina being alive as Anna had expected. The girl was still at the age of magical belief: in monsters and fairies and dead mothers who turned out to be alive. “So is she coming back to live with us?”

Jack hesitated.

“No,” Anna said. “She’s not.”

47

The next morning, Olivia insisted on picking out the perfect outfit. She tried on, then discarded, six different dresses before finally settling on a black skirt and purple turtleneck with little flowers embroidered at the sleeves. She directed Anna to put her hair up, then down, then in pigtails. Anna fastened a barrette and hoped this was the one. Olivia tipped her head this way and that as she studied her reflection.

“Good. Thanks, Anna.”

“You’re welcome.”

Anna set the brush down and turned to leave. But Olivia grabbed her wrist, stopping her. The little girl looked up at her with wide, frightened eyes.

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She loves you. You’re her little girl.”

“Then why did she leave me?”

Anna sat so her eyes were level with Olivia’s. She didn’t want to fight Nina’s fights, but she couldn’t let the girl think her mother didn’t want her.

“She missed you all this time.”

Olivia climbed on Anna’s lap, snuggled her head under Anna’s chin, and sucked her thumb, which she only did when she was tired or worried. Anna held her quietly.

When Jack had arranged everything so quickly, Anna thought the girl should be given more time to digest the news before meeting Nina. But seeing the worry on Olivia’s face, Anna realized that the sooner she saw her mother, the better.

Jack was pacing by the hotel room’s window when the knock came. Anna’s stomach roiled but she smiled reassuringly at Olivia. The girl held her hand as they stood by the couch. Jack strode over and opened the door. Deputy Cook was in the hallway with Nina, but he didn’t come inside. Nina walked into the suite and the door shut behind her.

They stood in a triangle, silently taking each other in. Olivia clung to Anna’s leg. Jack stood awkwardly by the door. The little girl stared at, but did not move toward, the woman whose face she might or might not remember, but whom she’d seen in thousands of pictures.

Nina came forward and knelt down by Olivia. The woman’s eyes were full of wonder and love. “Hello,” she said softly.

She reached out to touch Olivia’s arm. Olivia stepped back and squeezed Anna’s thigh even tighter. If it were her neck, Anna wouldn’t be able to breathe. The girl made a strained whimpering sound. Nina’s eyes welled up with tears.

Anna remembered the time she’d been forced to meet with her father, during a supervised court-ordered visitation. She was eleven, and her sister was nine. After what he’d done, Anna and her sister refused to talk to him; they turned their backs on him. They did that during every visitation the court ordered, until he finally gave up. Anna hadn’t seen him since. She didn’t regret it.

But Olivia would regret it if she didn’t go to her mother now.

Anna leaned down and gave Nina a hug. “Nina, hello!” she said, forcing her voice to sound cheerful and light. “Nice to see you.”

She could feel the other woman’s body stiffen against her embrace. Neither of them wanted to touch the other. But the gesture had the right effect on Olivia. Her arms stayed around Anna’s legs but relaxed their grip. If Anna was okay with this new woman, Olivia figured she might be okay, too.

Anna said, “Who’s up for some Candy Land?”

And so they started their reunion with board games. The four of them played Candy Land and Hungry Hungry Hippos and Operation. By the time they were operating on the poor fat fella, Olivia was laughing and chattering with Nina, even giving some mild trash talk when Nina’s tweezers buzzed on the funny bone. Anna glanced at Jack. He smiled at her thankfully.

They ordered room service for lunch, hamburgers and ice-cream sundaes. Over semimelted rocky road, Olivia asked Nina her first serious question.

“Why did you go away all this time?”

“Oh, honey.” Nina put her spoon down. “I thought it would be best for you.”

“Because I’d been bad?”

“God, no. To protect you. From bad guys who wanted to hurt me. I was worried they would want to hurt you, too. But if they thought I was gone, you’d be safe.”

“Will they want to hurt me now?”

Anna felt a flash of anger at Nina. Anna and Jack had deliberately left talk of bad guys and danger out of their conversations with Olivia. They didn’t want the girl to be terrified.

“The bad guys can’t hurt you now,” Nina said. “Because they’re in jail. And Anna is going to make sure they stay there.”

Olivia looked to Anna, and Anna nodded as convincingly as she could.

“So wait a minute,” Olivia said to Nina. “They haven’t had their trial yet, but you still decided to come back? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I hope it’s a good idea,” Nina said softly. “You’re my little girl, and I love you more than anything else in the world. I really needed to see you.”

Olivia looked at her skeptically. Her spoon was on the table. Liquid ice cream dripped out of the glass dishes.

“Let me show you something,” Nina said.

She pulled a small photo album from her purse and handed it to Olivia. The girl opened to the first page. It showed Nina in a hospital bed, gazing at a tiny bundle in her arms as if it were the most precious and extraordinary thing she’d ever seen. Jack stood next to her, his hand around her shoulder, as he looked proudly into the eyes of his infant girl.

“Is that me?” Olivia asked.

“Yes. That was the best day of my life.”

“Mine too,” Jack said. His voice was low and soft. He brushed a thumb across the corner of his eye.

“Wow,” Olivia said. She kept turning the pages, looking at photos of her baby self getting her foot inked and stamped on her Sibley Hospital birth certificate. Suckling at Nina’s breast. Sleeping in Jack’s arms while Nina gazed proudly on. The pictures progressed until Olivia was two years old.

Anna tried to swallow back the lump in her throat. This was a connection she could never share with Olivia.

By the time Nina had to leave, Olivia had grown decidedly warmer toward her. She held her mother’s hand as they walked to the door. Nina knelt down.

“Can I come visit you again?” Nina asked.

“Yeah, that’d be fun,” Olivia said. She put her arms around Nina’s neck and gave her a hug.

When Nina stood, she turned to Anna. “Can I talk to you in the next room for a moment?”

“Um, sure.”

They went into the other room and Nina shut the door.

“Thank you for your help today,” Nina said.

“You’re welcome. I think she really started to warm up at the end.”

“I agree. And I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ve already lost four years. I want to see her as much as I can. I’d like to arrange to visit twice a week, if there’s no objection from you.”

Anna hated the idea. At the same time, she noted that Nina was clever. Anna didn’t have an official say in who got to visit Olivia—but she had Jack’s ear, and she was living with Nina’s daughter. She could make things easier or harder for Nina. Nina knew Anna’s buy-in would make it happen, and happen smoothly.

“I don’t know,” Anna said. “Is that really what’s best for Olivia right now? Maybe you should wait until things are more stable in the case. What if you get close to her, then go into Witsec again? She would be devastated.”

“Is it really Olivia you’re worried about?” Nina asked.

“What does that mean?”

“I think you don’t want me to see Jack. You’re afraid of the feelings he still has for me.”

“He doesn’t have any ‘feelings’ for you except resentment,” Anna lied.

“Now you listen to me,” Nina stepped forward, golden eyes flashing. “You seem like a nice girl. I can tell my daughter cares about you. But she’s
my daughter
. And I have sacrificed
too much
.” Nina stopped and took a deep breath. This was clearly not the way she meant the conversation to go. When she spoke again, her voice was softer, her eyes pleading. “Please don’t stand in the way of me seeing her.”

“I just want what’s best for Olivia. In all honesty, I worry that you’re going to hurt her again. Someone needs to look out for her.”

“Everything I’ve done,” Nina’s voice rose again, “I did for her.”

Anna shrugged and held her hands up in question. It didn’t look that way from where she stood.

“Let me show you something,” Nina said. “I took a copy of this with me to Nebraska, to remind myself why I was there.”

She dug through her purse, took out a folder, and handed it to Anna. Anna opened it with curiosity. Inside was a child’s drawing of a stick figure with horns. The name
JOEY
was written in child’s block letters in a corner.

“What is this?”

“I went to pick Olivia up from the Montessori,” Nina said. “An older child had drawn this; it was up on the board. I asked Joey what it was a picture of. He didn’t give a clear answer.”

A chill crept down Anna’s back. “Did you tell Jack?”

“I did. He thought I was using the drawing as an excuse to take Olivia from him. He said that Joey was always drawing pictures of monsters, had been for years. That was true. But my instincts told me it was more. My child was in grave danger.

“The gang had threatened me, but the fact that they might have gone to Olivia’s school was far more terrifying. I wanted to take her with me into Witsec, but Jack said no. He wanted me to forgive him for the affair. He said we could get a new house, a new preschool, have the Marshals protect the family. But that wasn’t enough. The only way I could protect her was to die myself—for them to think that they couldn’t get to me through her.”

Anna looked down at the drawing. The idea of Diablo stalking Olivia was terrifying. Anna wondered how far she would go to protect the girl in the same situation. Something inside her shifted so dramatically it was almost a physical sensation. It was the way she thought about Nina. Before, she’d been able to dismiss Nina as selfish. She’d run away in order to save herself, leaving her husband to pick up the pieces. Her action probably contained a hint of revenge, too, getting back at Jack for cheating on her. But, in fact, her “death” had been a most selfless act. The woman had given up her life to protect her child’s. Living in Nebraska, with no family or friends to whom she could tell her real name. Knowing her daughter was growing up, but unable to see it. So homesick, she snuck back to her house to watch her daughter from outside the windows. If we are the sum of the choices we make, Nina was, on balance, a good person. And that made Anna’s position more tenuous.

“I won’t stand in the way of you visiting her,” Anna said softly.

“Thank you.” Nina exhaled.

They went back into the other room. Nina embraced the girl one more time, then turned to Jack. They stood a few feet apart, and met each other’s eyes steadily.

“Nice to see you, Jack.”

“You, too, Nina.”

They didn’t hug or even shake hands. But there was a current of warmth between them, a spark that had been ignited by their memories of Olivia’s birth and nostalgia about their past union.

Anna opened the door. “Goodbye,” she said.

48

Jack’s yellow Victorian always looked beautiful, but on Christmas Eve, it looked magical. Outside, the trees were strung with white lights, sparkling through the fresh snow on the branches. A laurel wreath adorned the door. Inside, Anna had wrapped the banister with spruce boughs, pinecones, and red velvet ribbons. A Christmas tree blazed in the living room, and stockings hung from the fireplace, where a fire danced. In the kitchen, Anna gave Olivia the task of putting baby carrots onto a plate with other raw vegetables and scooping hummus into a serving bowl. Costco mini-quiches baked in the oven. Raffles purred and rubbed against Anna’s leg. She reached down and scratched the cat’s neck.