Special Delivery (18 page)

Louise laughed at what she said, and looked enormously flattered. So did Jerry. But he was fine when the time came. Maybe Jack will be too.

I don't think his vintage does childbirth.

Well, we'll be there. Jan put an arm through her sister's, and they both smiled at their mother.

It won't be for another two or three weeks. Just make sure I can reach you when the time comes.

Don't worry, Mom, they said in chorus, and with that the limousine arrived, and the photographer. And they almost forgot her bouquet. She was so nervous she was breathless, but she looked terrific. And they helped her into the car, and they were all laughing at how hard it was to get her in it. She could hardly move now.

And when they arrived at the store, all three of them were dazzled. The flowers were spectacular, and there was literally a solid ceiling of flowers above them. There were orchids and roses and lilies of the valley. It was the most beautiful thing Amanda had ever seen, and when she stood next to Jack with the judge, and her children at her side, she was suddenly overcome with emotion. It meant just as much to her, or perhaps more, as her first wedding. She was wiser now, and knew how lucky she was to have him. And at this time in their lives, they suited each other to perfection.

The judge declared them man and wife, and this time, just as Jack had requested of them, there were smiles and congratulations, and they genuinely meant it. The whole family posed for photographs, and drank Champagne, except for Amanda, who drank ginger ale. And twenty minutes later, the guests arrived. It seemed like an enormous wedding.

Everyone was still there at midnight, and Amanda was so tired that Jack didn't dare keep her there a moment longer. She threw her bouquet from the staircase, and Gladdie caught it, while George Christy wrote down names. He was the only member of the press that Jack had invited. And as they ran to the car, the staff threw petals at them. They weren't going far. They were spending two days at the Bel Air, two blocks from her house, but Amanda could hardly wait to get there and take her clothes off. It had been the happiest day of her life, but she was beyond exhausted, and she looked it. Jack put an arm around her in the car. He had insisted on driving to the Bel Air in his red Ferrari, and it was covered with balloons and white satin ribbons, and someone had written on it in shaving cream 'Just Married.

I feel like a kid again, he beamed at her. He had loved it.

I feel like a grandmother, she laughed, a very fat one. You and Gladdie did such a great job. It was all so perfect. I can't wait to see the pictures.

He had ordered Champagne in the room, and more ginger ale for her. There was a stack of videos, and as soon as the bellboy left he helped her take her clothes off. She could hardly move as she lay on the bed in her pantyhose and her bra. She had had a backache for hours, but she didn't want to spoil the moment and tell him. She lay back on the bed with a happy sigh, and let her head fall back on a mountain of down pillows.

'Oh my God ' I've died and gone to heaven ' she said with a smile, and he looked down at her, a happy man. This was everything he wanted. The past was gone now.

Can I get you anything? he asked, as he took off his tie.

A forklift, she grinned at him. I'm never going to be able to get up if I have to go to the bathroom.

I'll carry you, he said gallantly.

It would kill you.

He dropped his suit on a chair, and came to lie beside her, drinking Champagne and eating the strawberries and truffles the hotel had left at their bedside. Try one of these, he said, putting a chocolate in her mouth, and she sighed contentedly, as he started to flip through the movies. How about a porno?

I'm not sure I'm up to it, she laughed.

On our wedding night? He looked disappointed.

We don't have to do that anymore. We're married. He grinned at her, and put a movie on, and it was so awful, she laughed at it with him. But when he got amorous, she looked at him with a mournful expression. Baby, I'd like to, but I don't think I can even take the rest of my clothes off.

I'll help you, he said hopefully, but she could see that he had had a lot of wine, and she didn't take him seriously, as she lumbered out of bed and went to the bathroom. She had been a thousand times that night, and lying on the bed her backache had gotten worse instead of better.

I think I'll take a shower, she said from the bathroom doorway.

Now? It was one o'clock in the morning, but somehow she thought it might make her feel better. She was beyond exhausted. She hated to feel so rotten on their wedding night, but it had been a long day and a long night. And she had been on her feet for hours. They felt like footballs.

But the shower made her feel better, and when she came back to the bedroom, they were still going at it on TV, and Jack was snoring softly. She sat down on the bed for a minute and just looked at him, thinking about how odd life was. How life put you together with different people at different times. She couldn't imagine being with anyone but him now.

He stirred slightly as she slipped into bed next to him, and a minute later, she turned the light and the TV off. But as soon as she lay down, the baby started kicking. It was going to be a long night at this rate, she thought to herself. She lay there for what seemed like ages, but she couldn't sleep. She still had the backache, and now along with it, she felt a very odd kind of pressure, as though the baby was pushing his head downward. And then suddenly, a twinge at the very bottom of her belly struck a chord of memory. She was in labor. And the twinges were contractions.

They were mild at first. And she noticed that it was fully ten minutes before she had the next one. They were slow and steady and regular, and at three in the morning, as she still lay in the dark next to him, they were coming every five minutes. She wasn't sure if she should wake him. It seemed silly if it was too early. But he heard her when she went to the bathroom.

You okay? he muttered sleepily when she came back to bed and moved closer to him.

I think I'm having the baby, she whispered.

He sat bolt upright. Now? Here? I'll call the doctor. He instantly flipped the light on, and they both squinted.

I don't think it's time yet. But as soon as she said it, she had a good hard pain that made her grit her teeth and writhe beside him. But it was over in less than a minute.

Are you crazy? Do you want to have the baby here? He jumped out of bed and put his pants on, and she was laughing at him when the next pain came. But suddenly they were coming every two minutes.

I haven't even unpacked my suitcase, she said between pains. I wanted to spend at least one night here.

I'll bring you back here, I swear, after we have the baby. Anytime you want. Now get your ass out of bed so we can get to the doctor before you have this baby.

I meant I have nothing to wear.

What's wrong with what you were wearing?

I can't wear my wedding dress to the hospital. I'll look silly.

I won't tell anyone what it is. Just get dressed, Amanda, for God's sake' . What are you doing? '

I'm having a contraction, she said between clenched teeth again, and almost as soon as she did he clutched his stomach.

I think the Champagne was poisoned.

Maybe you're in labor too, she said when the pain stopped. Call Jan and Louise, she said, crawling out of bed. But she was having a hard time standing up now.

I'll call an ambulance.

I don't want an ambulance. She was trapped between laughter and tears when the next pain came. You drive me.

I can't. I'm blind drunk. Can't you see that?

No, you look fine to me. Then I'll drive. Just call Jan and Louise.

I don't know their numbers, and if you don't put your damn wedding dress on right now, I'm calling the police and having you arrested.

That would be nice, she said in muffled tones as she slipped the wedding dress over her head and clutched her stomach. But when she tried to put her shoes on, she found her feet were too swollen. I'll have to go barefoot, she said practically.

For God's sake ' Amanda ' please ' He threw her suitcase on the bed, and started pawing through it. And miraculously, he found a pair of slippers. Put these on.

What is it about you people in retail? Why couldn't I just go barefoot?

You'd look foolish. They were standing in the doorway of the room by then, and it was just after four o'clock in the morning, but the next pain was so hard that she had to lean against the doorway. Just watching her, Jack started to moan, and she put an arm around him as they left the room and walked slowly to the front of the hotel, where he had parked the car. It felt as if it took forever to get there. In truth, it took more than ten minutes, and she was beginning to worry that she'd have the baby before they ever reached the Ferrari.

She slipped into the driver's seat, and held her hand out to him, praying that he had remembered to bring the keys. She didn't want to wait a minute longer. But fortunately, they were in his pocket. And he handed them over to her, and slipped into the car beside her. And as they careened out of the parking lot through Bel Air, she gave him Jan's number and told him to call her.

Tell her to call Louise. Just tell them to meet me there, in labor and delivery. We'll be there in five minutes.

They'll probably send me to geriatrics.

Just relax, you'll be fine, she said, smiling at him. It was a hell of a way to spend a honeymoon. Any minute they were going to have a baby. So much so, that she had to pull off the road for the next contraction.

Oh my God, he screamed at her, what are you doing?

I'm trying not to wreck your Ferrari while I have a contraction, she said, sounding more like the girl in The Exorcist than the woman he had just married, and he looked at her in horror.

Shit! I think you're in transition!

Don't tell me what I'm in, just shut up and call my goddamn daughter.

That's it ' that's it ' that's what the monster at the hospital said ' she said you'd start behaving like someone I don't even know. That's transition! She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or kill him. But at least he called Jan then, and announced that her mother was in transition.

Is this a joke? Jan asked, she'd been sound asleep and she didn't know what he was talking about. It was obvious he had had too much to drink at the wedding.

Of course this isn't a joke, he shouted into the phone, sounding hysterical. She's having the baby and we're on the way to the hospital, and she's in transition. She sounds like a total stranger.

Are you sure it's Mom? Jan laughed at him. He was an even bigger mess than her mother had predicted.

Well, she's wearing your mother's wedding dress at least. And she wants you to call Louise. But hurry!

We'll be there in ten minutes! she said, and hung up just as Amanda screeched into the hospital driveway, and threw open the door to the Ferrari, with an exasperated look at her brand-new husband.

You park it. I'm busy. And don't scratch the car, my husband will kill you.

Very funny, lady. Very funny, whoever you are. Looks just like my wife too, he said to a night guard, who shook his head and pointed to where Jack could park it. He figured they were probably on drugs, everyone in L.A. was.

Amanda was already in the lobby by then, and sitting in a wheelchair. She had given them her doctor's name, and just as they had learned in Lamaze, she was panting and blowing. The contractions were getting ugly.

What are you doing? Jack asked as he looked at her, and then he remembered. I forgot my stopwatch. But a nurse was already wheeling her into the elevator, as she clutched the arms of the wheelchair. She was making Jack very nervous. Baby, are you okay? ' I mean really '

What does it look like? Her voice was barely audible through the contraction, but she sounded a little more like herself now. Maybe she wasn't in transition.

It looks miserable, he said honestly, worse than that.

It is worse than that. It's like having your guts ripped open with a chain saw.

What happened to the thing with the upper lip?

That comes later.

I can hardly wait.

They wheeled her into a room on the third floor, and she exchanged her clothes for a faded hospital gown, and they handed Jack a shower cap and a pair of green pajamas.

What's that for? He looked panicked.

You, if you want to see your baby born, the nurse told him without ceremony, and then called for a resident to check Amanda.

He appeared in the labor room two minutes later, while Jack was changing, and announced that Amanda was at eight centimeters and going fast. She was at nine by the time he was finished.

Get me an epidural, she said, clutching the bars on the side of the bed through the next contraction ' morphine ' Demerol ' anything ' give me something. '

It's too late, Mrs. Kingston, the nurse said soothingly. You should have been here at seven centimeters.

I was busy. I was driving to the hospital in my husband's fucking Ferrari. She was crying then. This wasn't funny. And she turned around to look at the resident and the nurse with fury. Are you telling me that if I had been here half an hour ago, I could have had an epidural? This is your fault, she said to Jack miserably as he emerged from the bathroom looking like a scrub nurse.

What's my fault? Oh this ' he looked at the enormous belly, I guess it is. And by the way, he turned to the doctor imperiously, she's not Mrs. Kingston.

She's not? He looked startled and picked up the chart. It said it plainly. It says here she's Mrs. Kingston.

She's Mrs. Watson, Jack corrected, still drunk from the unknown quantities of Champagne he had drunk at their wedding.

It was going to be hours, possibly days, before he was sober, and Amanda knew it.

Never mind who I am. Just get my doctor. Where is he?

I'm right here, Amanda, a voice from the doorway said coolly.

Good. I want drugs, and they won't give them to me. He talked to the resident for a minute and then nodded.

How about a little morphine?