Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1) (32 page)

I can’t explain
what I felt as the first words to Snow Patrols “Chasing Cars” started to play. I heard everyone stand, and at least a thousand butterflies attempting a synchronised swim was the sensation I had going on in my gut. My heart threatened to fracture my sternum as it smashed against it, and a trickle of sweat rolled down my neck and traced the length of my spine.

“You ready for this?” Luke asked quietly from beside me.

“Not even a little bit.”

“You wanna walk away now?”

“Not in a million years.”

“So, you stay and you do this, and just so you know . . .”

I finally turned my head slightly to look at him.

“You hurt her, cause her to cry, even by accident, I’ll know. I’ll know, and I will make you suffer.”

“I’ll never hurt her, not even by accident.”

He gave a slight nod and then turned to face the aisle. I took a final breath and did the same. My heart slowed and then held steady in my chest, not beating, just hanging there.

First came Jarrah, my nephew. I smiled while observing the concentration on his face as he carried the cushion that had our wedding rings set on top as if his life depended on it.

My nieces Harper and Everly came next, Sasha following behind them.

Luke’s shoulder accidently nudged mine as he raised his hand to his face, and I fought to control the tremble in my jaw as I watched him wipe a tear from under his eye.

He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet, fighting to regain his composure. My eyes finally traced the length of the cream carpet, to the entrance of the marquee where she stood with her Grandad.

“Shit she’s beautiful.”

I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but there it was.

Her dress was lace, but that was all I could tell you about it. When my eyes landed on her, nothing else existed.

She looked tiny as she stood with her arm hooked through Archie’s. Her dress clung to the curve of her hips, and I closed my eyes for a second as I took in the exposed skin of her chest and neck.

The pair of them took a step forward, and my eyes finally landed on hers. Air left my lungs in a sharp exhale, leaving me feeling winded and short of breath.

Tears slid down my face, but instead of trying to stop their decent, I let them take their course.

I knew in that moment that she was everything that I’d never known I wanted. And fuck me if I didn’t want to make her mine in every way possible.

She was good—so fucking good. She was sweet and honest and so very many things that I wasn’t or could ever hope to be.

I didn’t deserve a second thought or glance from her, but here she was, about to make me her husband.

She was looking at me as if I were the only thing she saw, and it humbled me. I was so unworthy of that look, of that want, need, and absolute love her gaze conveyed. It was the same look she gave me the very first time she’d laid eyes on me, and even now, it almost brought me to my knees . . .

END OF PART ONE

Coming Late 2016.

Keep Reading For A Teaser…

I'm not sure
at what stage I became aware of the fact that I was still alive, breathing and in hospital, it was before I was fully conscious that's for sure.

I drifted for what could have been minutes, hours or days. Noise, smell and sound all gradually overwhelming my senses until I could no longer ignore or deny the fact that I was living.

My throat felt sore and scratchy when I tried to swallow and my chest and ribs felt like they'd been crushed, kicked or stamped on.

I lick my lips and once again attempt to swallow, before opening and then rapidly closing my eyes.

The white light sears my pupils. It’s too much. Far too bright. Far too full of life and all things living. The glare gives me an instant headache, almost like brain freeze from eating ice cream, except it vanishes as soon as I close my eyes and shut out the harsh fluorescent glow, life and the world.

I leave it a few moments before making another attempt and as I do, I become aware of someone else in the room and my heart lurches against my ribcage, before crashing to my stomach.

There’s a person in my room.

At least one, maybe more.

People… I’m going to have to face people. I’m going to have to face my family, my friends, even the nurses and staff at the hospital and I’m going to have to explain my actions. I hadn't brokered for this scenario.

I kick the
side of my car so hard that the dent I cause is deep enough to split the paint work, so I kick it again for good measure. I press my forehead against the cold of the driver’s side window and try to draw in deep breaths.

From the minute I realised Sarah wasn’t home yesterday afternoon, I’ve shook. My heart, my soul, my bones, even the blood in my veins has been shaking nonstop. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Terrified.

I went through the doors of that hotel room expecting to find one thing and instead I found another. Something I never expected to see in my life, ever.

A loud sob rips from my chest and I quickly climb into my car so that any one that happens to be lurking in the hospital car park doesn’t have to witness my fourth breakdown of the past twelve hours.

Why? Why would she do this?

Promiscuous.
Nelly Furtado.

I knew I loved you.
Savage Garden
.

If I ain’t got you.
Alicia Keys
.

I love your smile.
Shanice
.

Chasing Cars.
Snow Patrol
.

Unfaithful.
Rihanna
.

Ruby.
Kaiser Chiefs
.

How to save a life.
The Fray
.

I don’t feel like dancing.
Scissor Sisters.

Boulevard of broken dreams.
Green Day
.

Love don’t let me go.
David Guetta.

Rehab.
Amy Winehouse.

Hung up.
Madonna
.

Too little too late.
JoJo
.

Seaside Heart.
Carnage
.

Changes.
2Pac.

Somebody told me.
The Killers
.

Joker and the thief.
Wolfmother
.

Freak me.
Another Level
.

Saviour

Resolution

Carnage Book #1

Carnage Book #2

Marley

The Letters

Conviction

This gets harder
every time I publish and I always worry there will be people I’ll forget. So, let’s get started…

Ash, my editor.
You have achieved the impossible and made me love the editing process. You challenge me and make me think outside the box, but, never forget, I write using British English, there will be no, guys, no trash and no happy holidays. Ever!

Jeanette
, my proofreader, tihs book wold bee so flu fo rerrors fi it wast’n orf ouy. Yank thou!

To my amazing admin team,
Vix, Marian, Angie, Sasha, Lisa, Sharee and Sam.
Some of you have been with me since Gabe, most, since Sean, Georgia and Cam. I dedicate this book to you all. For your unwavering support, of not just me, but of each other. We are our own unique little family. We bitch, we moan, we laugh and we cry. You are my safe place, my levellers and I love you all.

To my beautiful beta squad,
Bianca, Angie, Jeanette, Kirsten, Lisa, Marian, Petra, Sasha, Serena, Vix and Tina,
I thank you for the feedback you give me as I drip feed you words.

To the ladies of my reader group, you rock my world.
Effie, Goldi, Irene, Gaynor, Elizabeth, Sue, Pat, Terri, Faye, Kim, Shabby
and so very many more, your passion and unwavering support, knocks my socks off on a daily basis.

Bianca
, thank you for your support and amazing assistance at all of my AU signings. You’re a star.

Abbey
, thanks for getting me organised for this release. I don’t know where I’d be without your skills!

For
all of the bloggers
that pretty much dedicate their lives to this amazing book world, I thank you for my career.

To
Sarah Hansen
at Okay Creations, thank you for my amazing cover. I said ‘get artsy’ and you sure delivered. I love it hard.

For
each and every one of my amazing readers
that I’ve had the pleasre of meeting face to face, all around the world theses past few years, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by my table and say hi. The best part about book signings is meeting all of you. You are who I fan girl over!

To
the ‘Book Haven’ girls
. Love you ladies, thanks for making me an honoury member!

To all of the authors I now have the pleasure of calling friends, especially
KM, Mo, Jessica, Elle, Nina, Lili and Callie,
it humbles me that I am considered one of you. When my name appears on a list next to yours, I will always and forever get tingles and have to pinch myself. That shit will never get old.

Last but not least,
my family
. Thank you for putting up with what you do, I love you such a much.