Spirit Horses (5 page)

“Thanks, boss, this check always pays for our trip
to my folks for the week.”

“Glad to do it, Terry, you deserve every penny. You
and Beth Ann enjoy your time away with the baby.” A minute later Shane looked
over at him from the horse as he tightened up the saddle’s cinch for his ride.
“Why don’t you go ahead and take off? I know you’ve got a long drive ahead of
you. I’ll finish up around here.”

He could still hear Terry’s pickup pulling out of
the driveway when Jacob and Tina came bounding in the barn full of excitement.
The young horse he was holding spooked and jumped backwards. “Hey, easy guys,
you know better than to run in the barn like that!” Shane scolded.

The two had just returned home from the last day of
school
before a fourteen-day recess, so they were bursting at the seams with
excitement.

Jacob cringed, “Sorry, Dad, we thought you were done
riding when we saw Mr. Terry leave. Can Tina and I ride Tory and Sloppy while
you finish up?”

“Sure, go ahead and get ’em saddled. Maybe a good
long ride will help you two burn off some of that wild attitude you got going
on.” They both laughed, and ran out of the barn to fetch their horses.

By the time Shane and the kids made it back to the
house, Jen’s mom, Helen, and her sister, Abby, had arrived and were helping Jen
put dinner on the table. As usual, the two would be staying all week, until New
Year’s Day.

“My babies,” Helen screeched as the two kids ran
over to her with open arms. She hadn’t seen them in over six months, which made
the reunion very enthusiastic. After they were through with Grandma they ran to
Aunt Abby, whom they often saw because she lived so close.

“Merry Christmas, ladies,” Shane said as he waited
his turn, and then welcomed them both with a warm hug.

The house was always decked out to the hilt both
inside and out. Each year, it would consume the best part of a week to take
down all the decorations.

This season a light snow came on Christmas Eve,
which put everybody in good spirits. Later that night, Tina jumped out of her
bed and scampered into the living room. She was shaking as she shouted, “Mommy,
Daddy, I heard a noise on top of the house. I think its Santa’s sleigh landing
on the roof.” After that, getting her to sleep was damn near impossible.

Shane looked at Jen, and rolled his eyes when Tina
got out of bed for the third time. He leaned over and whispered, “I know all
this seemed cute earlier, but it’s already ten thirty, and I still have two
bikes to put together!”

“Come on, baby girl,” Jen said as she took her by
the hand and walked her back to her bedroom. “You know Santa can’t put presents
under the tree until you’re asleep.”

“I’m trying Mommy, but I’m just too excited! Will
you lay with me for a while?” Jen lay down alongside her and rubbed her back
until she finally went out.

Jacob had exhausted himself with the exhilaration of
the day and was already asleep.

At ten years of age, he was kind of on the fence
about the whole Santa thing. Even so, he was easily convinced by Jen that the
older kids at school were wrong.

“Santa Claus is as real as the nose on your face,”
she swore to him. They both wanted to give him one more year of believing in
the fat man in the red suit before their little boy grew out of this short, but
memorable time of his life.

Christmas morning the kids were up by six, and by
seven the house was a total wreck with torn wrapping paper and open presents
strewn everywhere.

Shane always took a break between Christmas and New
Year’s Day. Every year it blew him away at how fast it went by. This year was
no different, and soon it was time to get back in the saddle and resume earning
a living for his family.

The next four weeks flew by and the kids had all but worn out their
Christmas bikes.

It was Wednesday, hump day on the farm, and it was
unusually warm weather for the beginning of February. Shane had just finished
with his fourth horse of the morning, and glanced at his watch as he climbed
out of the saddle. Terry hustled out of the barn to meet him. “Which one do you
want next?”

“It’s only eleven, so I should have time for one
more long ride before lunch,” Shane replied. “Why don’t you bring me that big
sorrel filly? She only has about sixty days on her, but she’s calm and easy
going.
 
I think she’s ready for her first
ride out on the trails surrounding the farm. If I’m not back within an hour,
come looking
for me.”

“No problem, I’ll keep checking my watch till I see
you ride back in.” Terry assured.

A person can never tell how a young horse will react
to this kind of exposure for the first time. Even with a nice one like this, he
would have to be very careful to stay out of trouble. The ride was going
extremely well, and soon he made his way far in to the hilly countryside west
of his farm. Suddenly a covey of quail flew up in front of them. The filly
spooked with a sideways jump. Shane quickly grabbed the saddle horn and hung on
as he skillfully got her back under control.

“Easy girl, those birds scared me too.” As he calmed
her down, he was pleased to see how quickly she began to relax and walk on as
if nothing happened. During the ride back home, he patted her neck often and
told her how good she was doing.

As the two made their way down the last hill into
the big grassy field next to the barn, Shane looked up to see Terry waving
frantically at him. This also caught the filly’s attention. “You’re okay,” he
told the worried horse. “I don’t know why he’s acting crazy like that.” Shane had
to keep rubbing her neck to try and ease her bother. He was really starting to
get upset with Terry’s behavior. “He knows
better than to carry on like that when I’m on a green horse,” he said quietly
to the filly.

As he rode in closer he realized that what he first
thought was excitement with Terry’s body language and expressions now looked
more like sheer panic. His breathing was shallow and rapid, and he was having
trouble speaking.

“Chill out, man,” Shane told him sternly, as he
stepped out of the saddle. “Just calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”

Chapter 4

“It’s Jen and the kids, boss. They’ve been in a car wreck! The sheriff
was out here about twenty minutes ago, and said you need to get to the hospital
right now!”

“A wreck! When?” Shane’s forehead wrinkled as his
heart began to pound with fear. “Is everybody all right? What exactly did the
sheriff say?”

“He didn’t really say much. All he would tell me was
that the accident was a bad one.” Shane, now trying to control his panic,
handed the horse over to Terry and ran to his truck.

He drove like a mad man all the way to the hospital,
praying that they were all okay. He crashed through the ER door and found Jen’s
sister waiting for him in the lobby.

It was a teacher’s work day. This meant school was out
for the kids, so Jacob and Tina were with Jen for the morning. Jen’s sister,
Abby, had met them to go shopping and was following the three in her own car to
a restaurant for lunch. The accident happened right in front of her and she had
followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Abby was sitting on a couch sobbing hysterically,
leaning over with her face in her hands. A young nurse was sitting next to her
trying to console her. Abby looked up and saw Shane. She immediately jumped up,
ran over, and threw her arms around him still crying
uncontrollably. “The man that crashed into them ran a red light. It wasn’t
Jen’s fault!” she bawled.

Shane was really scared now, and pushed Abby away to
arm’s length. He looked into her swollen red eyes and loudly asked, “How bad is
it?”

She tried hard to answer but had trouble catching
her breath. She finally sputtered out the words that stabbed Shane like a knife
in his gut. “Jen and Jacob are gone,” she said with tears streaming down her
face, “Tina’s in intensive care.”

“What!” Shane whispered. “No. No way. You’ve got to
be mistaken. What do you mean, gone?”

“I’m sorry,” Abby said as she fell down to her knees
crying.

Shane ran to the counter, and yelled at the lady
working there. “I want to see my family. I want to see them, now!”

The lady realized that Shane was on the verge of
losing control. He was loudly demanding to see his wife and kids over and over
while threatening to tear the waiting room apart if she didn’t comply. She
wasn’t sure how to handle him, and was now in tears herself. She finally picked
up the phone to call for help. Almost immediately, two very large male
orderlies came rushing through the door. They calmly told Shane that a doctor
was on the way to talk to him and asked him to follow them to a small room
beside the waiting area. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like hours, a
doctor came into the room and gave the orderlies the okay to leave. He took a
deep breath and asked Shane to please sit. He really hated this part of his
job.

“Mr. Carson, I’m sorry to tell you this, but both
your wife and son were killed on impact in the accident.”

Shane stared at him in disbelief and confusion.
“There has to be some kind of mistake, doc!” The doctor looked down at the
floor and shook his head, “Your little girl has extensive head injuries, and
she has a ruptured spleen. She’s in surgery right now having her spleen
removed, and we are trying to assess the extent of her head
injuries. I’m sorry sir, but she’s in pretty bad shape, and I can’t say what her
chances of survival are. We’ll have to assess her condition through the night,
and I’m hopeful her vital signs will improve.”

The doctor could tell that this was all too much for
Shane. “When you’re ready, the nurse will let you know where to go so you can
see your wife and son. I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said as he quietly
stepped out of the room. The doctor nodded to the nurse on his way out, asking
her to keep an eye on Shane and to call him if necessary.

Shane barely made it over to a sink before getting
sick. As he finished, he slowly reached for a paper towel to wipe his mouth.
There he stayed for sometime with his head down and eyes closed, struggling
just to stand.

Still in denial, he balled up his fist and clinched
his jaw, then begging, prayed, “God, please let me wake up to find that this is
all just some kind of terrible nightmare! This can’t be happening, dammit!”

When he finally looked up at
his reflection in the mirror, a strange numbness overwhelmed him. Keeping one
hand on the wall for support, he eased his way over to a seat in the corner of
the room. Crumbling down into the chair, he sat motionless, staring into space,
soon drifting uncontrollably into a total shutdown of emotions. The next thing
he remembered hearing was much later when a nurse came in. “Mr. Carson�—�sir�—�Tina
is in recovery, you can go see her now.”

He stiffly stood and followed the nurse down the
hall. He walked into the room to see his little Tina lying in the bed with her
head completely wrapped and tubes protruding from her mouth. His eyes drifted
to a machine that was beeping and pumping. His baby girl was on life support.
The room started spinning as the beeping sound became an intense ringing in his
ears. He collapsed before he made it to her side. He awoke on the floor with a
woman leaning over him.

The seasoned ICU nurse, an older lady, had seen more
than her share of tragedy, “Come on, Mr. Carson, I know this is terribly
difficult,” she said softly, “but you need to try to pull yourself together for
Tina’s sake. Okay?” As he struggled to focus on her face he finally came to his
senses. He nodded and slowly stood with some assistance.

He couldn’t believe how cold Tina’s small hand felt�—�how
lifeless. He gently squeezed, trying desperately to make her squeeze back.
“Tina, Tina, its Daddy. Wake up for me, baby. Okay?” It was then that his
emotions finally came to a head, and the tears rained down his face like a
blinding summer storm.

***

The next few days slowly crept by and Shane never left her bedside.
Tina was tough and held on longer than the doctors thought she would. But she
never regained consciousness, and at 3:25 on the afternoon of the third day she
passed away with Shane at her side, tightly holding her hand. He leaned over,
his face wet with tears, gently kissed her on the forehead and whispered in her
ear, “Tina, it’s okay, you can go now. Mommy and Jacob are waiting for you. I
love you. Tell Mom and Jacob I love them, too.”

Soon after his last words to Tina, he withdrew into
another emotional shutdown. The doctor explained to a worried Abby that the
mind was well known to protect a person from more than he can handle in times
like these. This mental escape was Shane’s subconscious way of shielding
himself from a pain he was too exhausted to endure.