Split Second (Pivot Point) (14 page)

Addie:
I figured out a solution.

“Addie, hello again.” He put on the headphones and ran the imaginary metal detector stick over me again before he let me in. “It’s good to see you.”

After the agents showed up at my house that morning, I could sort of understand his paranoia. “Are you sure the Compound doesn’t know you live here?”

He shut the closet door and turned around. His smiling eyes went serious for a moment. “The only way to truly be free from the Compound is to disappear.”

“What do you mean? Do they think you’re dead or something?”

“It’s the only way.”

That wasn’t a direct answer to my question, but I guessed it meant yes. At least in his mind. And if he was happy, I wasn’t going to try to change it.

The agents had sidetracked me, but there was a reason I was in my grandpa’s apartment again. I wanted my memories back. The desperate urge to have them back had been coursing through me all night. I had hardly slept. “Can you restore memories?” I blurted out.

His eyes went wide, but then he slowly nodded.

“Will you restore mine?”

He picked up a mug full of steaming liquid off the coffee table and brought it to his lips. Then he set it back down next to his odd devices—the devices that reminded me he wasn’t quite sane. “Let’s go to the box.”

My eyes lingered on the toaster, and I hesitated. Should I really let him do this? He slid open the back door. He was a Healer. The worst thing that could happen was he wouldn’t be able to Heal. I followed him to his back patio. The box took up most of the patio, but the other half, I now noticed, was covered by a vegetable garden growing in big pots. The smell of the fertilized dirt made my stomach turn.

He held open the flimsy cardboard door for me. The phone in my pocket chimed with a text message. I stepped into the box.

“What exactly are you hoping to restore?” he asked.

“I’m not sure, actually. My best friend is a Memory Eraser, so . . .”

“You think she stole some of your memories? You don’t trust her?”

It took me way too long to say, “I trust her. And no, she didn’t steal any.” Laila left all the memories of her betraying me with Duke perfectly intact, and she could’ve Erased them. She didn’t.

“I used to do this for the Bureau all the time,” my grandfather said.

“Do what?”

“Restore memories.”

“Is that why my dad wanted to work there? Because you did?”

“Yes.”

If he did this for the Bureau, he must’ve been a very capable Healer. I had nothing to worry about. And we were having a normal conversation about it. That meant he wasn’t completely insane, didn’t it?

“I’ll never forget the haunted screams.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you sit down while I do this?”

“No. Wait. Is this safe?”

“Of course. I’m an expert.”

I sat down, and for the first time realized the box didn’t have a floor either. The cold cement seeped through my pants, numbing my legs. My grandfather’s hands touched my head. I wondered what memories I was going to get back. Laila had said she had only ever Erased me once, but maybe I was about to find out otherwise.

My grandpa smoothed my hair and settled his hands more firmly on my head. I took a deep breath, and my phone chimed again.

My nerves and the persistent texter caused me to yank my head out of his reach and pull my phone out of my pocket. “Hold on. Just let me see what they need.”

I read the text from Laila:
I did it. I learned how to restore memories . . . sort of. Just in time for my trip out there. Oh, and I talked to Bobby
.

“What?” I pushed myself to standing. “Sorry, hold on, Grandpa. I need to talk to my friend.”

“I have all day.”

I smiled. “Okay, just hold on.” I exited the box and dialed Laila’s number.

She answered after half a ring. “I thought that might get you to call me.”

I went inside, shutting the glass door behind me. “Oh, good. So that means you didn’t talk to Bobby?”

“No, I did. I just needed you to call me. Things are happening here. So aren’t you excited? I can restore your memory. I don’t need a lot of praise, but a little wouldn’t hurt.”

I glanced to the sliding door, where my grandfather stood with a watering can, dumping water on his plants out of the top instead of using the spout. “I might not need you to restore my memory.”

“Well, someone better need me to restore their memory, because I went to a lot of work figuring out how. It involved
kissing guys I didn’t want to kiss and the whole works.”

“There’s a guy in the world you don’t want to kiss? This is big news. He must be over fifty.”

“Funny. He’s actually our age. So there.”

“Do I know him?”

She hummed a little and tried to say casually, “I think so. Connor Bradshaw.”

“Wait. Connor? The guy who almost hit me with his motorcycle?”

“Yes.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to kiss him? He’s gorgeous.”

“Because he’s a cocky, uncontrollable, frustrating idiot. He never listens to me. It’s annoying. Plus, he thinks he’s so smart. And he kind of is, which bugs me so much.”

I didn’t know why it took me so long, but the realization exploded in my chest. “OH!”

“What? Why are you yelling?”

Laila had never felt that strongly about anyone. If someone annoyed her, she moved on. “You love him. You love Connor Bradshaw!”

“Stop yelling. I do not. I’m annoyed with him because I can’t Erase his memories, not because I like him.”

“Love him. This is crazy. I never thought I’d see the day. My closed-off little Laila has finally opened her heart to love.”

“You know, if you were here you’d be seconds away from being punched.”

“So sweet.”

“Moving on. Why don’t you want me to restore your memory?”

“Long story, but I found my grandpa. He’s alive. And he’s a Healer. So, I guess he can do it.”

“Whoa! There are so many things you just said right now that I need to comment on, but first and most important, do not let your grandpa touch your brain.”

“Why not?”

“Because Connor said it’s like pure torture to have a Healer give you your memories back. I guess more than the memories come, and it’s really intense and horrible. They use it in interrogations and stuff.”

Suddenly, the “haunted screams” comment my grandfather said made a lot more sense. It was hard to believe he was willing to do that to me. I whirled around to look at him. He was staring into his obviously empty watering can and shaking it. My initial anger softened. He wasn’t exactly all there. I guess I couldn’t blame him for that. “It’s a good thing you don’t know how to leave me alone when you want to talk, because I was literally seconds away from him restoring me.”

“Once again my selfishness is rewarded. I’m never going to learn my lesson.”

“Let me call you back and you can fill me in on the Bobby stuff. And I’ll fill you in on all the back-to-life Grandpa and Trevor stuff. I better leave before he tries to feed me again.”

“Okay. Call me when you get home.”

I hung up and looked to see my grandpa standing inside,
staring at me. I jumped. He was so quiet.

“Are you ready?”

“I changed my mind. My friend is going to help me.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“No. It’s not that. It’s just . . .” My vision blurred for a second, and I rubbed my eyes. My brain was tired. I was angry that my dad had kept something this big from me. I was tired of the lies, and I was tired of worrying about my ability.

“It’s just what?”

“I don’t know you very well anymore.”

He looked down at the coffee table, and I followed his gaze to where the modified toaster sat. Metal wires were wrapped around knobs and then extended like antennae straight up.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It tells me if their devices are anywhere near.”

I didn’t believe I’d almost let him Heal my brain. “And are they? Near?”

“Not today.”

“Good. Then I better head home.”

He hugged me tight, and I felt guilty for leaving. Guilty that he seemed so lonely. I wondered if my dad visited him often.

Laila:
Brace yourself. I’m coming.

The line of people was moving fast, but for once I didn’t want a line to move fast. At least it wasn’t moving as fast as the twelve-hour pass line. Those people just had to list a reason for leaving and get a palm scan. They were probably mostly commuters. My weekend pass line was a little more paperwork.

I looked down at my phone again. No new messages. I quickly typed
So? Are you coming or what?

“I’m here,” Connor said from behind me. The way my entire body reacted to that single statement reaffirmed why I needed him to come with me. He was the only one who could bring the emotional power I needed to restore Addie’s memory. I tried to get those emotions under control. The last time I’d seen him on
the train swirled through my mind, and my weakness unnerved me. I bit the inside of my cheek hard, then whirled around.

He stood, arms crossed, bag slung over his shoulder. His hair was a bit messy, but his face was free of the normal grease stains, which drew my attention to his muddy green eyes.

“So you’re coming?”

He held up his phone, my text on the screen. “‘Bring your ancient truck and meet me at the Tower at nine. Pack for the weekend.’”

Huh. When he read it out loud like that, it made me realize how little explanation I’d given him. “I actually just need your truck, but I figured you wouldn’t loan it to me, so I guess you’ll have to tag along.”

He reached into his pocket and held a set of keys out to me. I took them, and he started to walk away. Why did he have to call my bluff? Stupid boy.

“Wait. No.”

He stopped.

“I . . .”
Need you too
. “. . . don’t know how to drive it.” A lie. I was sure I could easily figure it out. It was probably automatic, but I had even practiced a stick shift in one of the simulators at school when I was bored one day.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“To see Addie. There’s a football game tomorrow. The holiday bowl.”

He seemed to be waiting for me to explain why this was important.

“I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

He got an amused smirk on his face, then. “You can’t do it without me.”

“Do what?”

“Restore her memory.”

“Because no one frustrates me quite as much as you do.” Totally true. “Soon, the thought of your face will do it, but now, it seems I need your annoying presence as well.”

He held out his hand, and I dropped his car keys onto his open palm. “This trip will be good for my research,” he said, his smirk still in place.

Why couldn’t I get him angry? He was always so calm. “I’m only doing this for Addie.”

His eyes searched mine, and then he gave a small nod.

We were silent while the line inched forward. He stared off to the side, and I followed his gaze to the sign that said
LONG-TERM AND PERMANENT PASSES, THIRD FLOOR, BY APPOINTMENT ONLY
. Did he wish he were on the third floor instead?

He drove with one hand on top of the steering wheel and the other arm resting on the open window. The wind whistled through the cab and made it almost impossible to talk when we reached high speeds. I was not looking forward to four hours of this.

When we were almost to Addie’s, I came to a realization. “You’ve never been on the Outside before.” The way he’d been taking everything in, as though he was seeing it for the first time, made me think this.

His knuckles went white on the steering wheel, but he didn’t say anything to deny or confirm my observation.

“Look at me, making one of your dreams come true. You and your Norm truck driving around Normville.”

“You’re practically a god.”

I shoved his shoulder, producing a smile on his face. “Half god, but whatever.”

We pulled up to Addie’s, and Connor unloaded the bags from the truck bed. I knocked on the door, and she answered. A little piece of me fell back into place. She gave me a big hug, clinging to me for a bit longer than normal. Maybe she actually needed me in her life as well.

“Hi, Connor.”

“Hey, it’s good to see you when I’m not about to run you over.”

She laughed. “I know, right? Come in. Let me show you where you can stay.” She led Connor to a room on one end of the hall, then the two of us went to her room while he settled in.

She turned to me. “So you have a letter for me?”

I retrieved it out of my purse and handed it to her. A huge burden lifted from my shoulders as I did. Her eyes took in the writing on the front. She even ran her hand along the numbers. Then she opened it. I already knew what it said, so I watched her face for her reaction. She gnawed on her lip.

“I promised a person, someone I cared about, that I wouldn’t Erase my Norm path. You didn’t tell me that part.” She also didn’t seem surprised by that part.

“I figured it didn’t matter. You didn’t remember anyone. Do you think you know who you made that promise to?”

There was a hopeful look in Addie’s eyes, like she had someone in mind.

I shook out my hands. “Okay, so when do you want to do this?”

“The memory restoration?”

“Yes. I’ve been practicing on the way over here. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty awesome.” I left out the part that I had been practicing on my phone and that Connor had to be there for me to do it.

Addie laughed. “I guess the sooner the better.” She took a breath and looked around the room, like she was going to sit down somewhere that instant.

“We can wait until tomorrow after the game. Whenever you want.”

“I think now would be good.”

“Okay. Now.” I rubbed my hands together. “I need to go get Connor.”

“Why?”

“He helps.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

I picked up a pillow off her bed and threw it at her.

She laughed and pulled it against her chest. “How do you extend your ability, anyway? I want to try. I told you about the whole slowing-down-time thing, right? But I have absolutely no control over when and where it happens.”

I raised one eyebrow. That girl must’ve had some strong emotions swirling around for her to trigger it without trying. Or did it have nothing to do with advanced ability at all? Had Bobby really unintentionally given her a piece of his ability? “I need to tell you something I found out. Something your mom wanted me to warn you about.” I filled her in on what I’d learned the day I visited her mom.

“So, wait. That flash drive, the one my dad stole—it’s been suppressing my abilities?”

“Attempting to, I guess. If something Bobby did affected you, she was hoping to smother it.”

Addie took a deep breath of relief. “So it’s the program that’s been giving me headaches. My mom was trying to block my ability. No wonder they’ve been tapering off since my dad stole it from me.”

“She wants you to get back on it.”

“Not a chance,” Addie said, her fists clenched. “I am nothing like Bobby.”

“I know that.” I grabbed her hand. “Your mom knows it too. But the stupid DAA and CC don’t know that.”

“This advanced ability is mine. He didn’t give it to me. He did not alter my mind. Let the CC watch me. They’ll see I’m nothing like him.”

Her conviction surprised me a little, but then I smiled. “Go, Addie.”

“I guess my dad stealing my program helped.”

“So maybe you should thank your dad after all.”

She gave a short laugh. “It’ll be awhile before I’m ready to thank him for anything.”

I’d never heard Addie talk that way about her dad. I needed to change the subject. If she wanted to keep extending this extra ability she’d inherited, regardless of where she got it, then I would help her learn how to control it. “The key to advancing your ability is to channel strong emotions. Think of something that will get your pulse racing.”

“Does it have to be a good thing?”

“No. Why? What’s making your pulse race in a bad way?”

“My dad not admitting that my dead grandpa is really alive.”

“That sucks. The lie detector lying seems so wrong.”

It really did suck because unlike me and my father, Addie and her dad actually shared a really good relationship. The kind where finding out he was lying to her might actually be surprising instead of just an everyday occurrence. By the looks of her, though, it didn’t seem that memory was going to make her pulse race, but instead throw her into a deep depression coma.

“That’s not going to work.” I pulled her by one arm off her bed. “No lying dads on the agenda tonight. Something different. What else makes you mad?”

“I don’t know.”

“Or happy?”

She smiled. “So what exactly will I feel?”

“Almost as if something is physically surrounding you. Then you let it gather and push it.”

There was a knock on the door, and my heart jumped. Addie
opened it. Connor pushed his hair off his forehead and met my eyes over Addie’s shoulder. Yes. This would work just fine.

“I heard we needed you,” Addie said with a smile, standing aside so he could come in.

He walked into the room. “Apparently, Laila doesn’t know how to channel anger without me.”

“Oh, is that what you bring out in her?”

I shot Addie a look, and she laughed. I pulled out her desk chair and gestured for her to sit. She did.

Connor went to the window and inspected the string hanging down by the drapes. Addie started to say something, but he grabbed hold of the string and pulled. The curtains parted and light filled the room.

How did he know how to open those? He was a quick study. I positioned myself behind Addie. It had been about ten weeks since the memory wipe. I easily found the path of memories I had closed. Now, to open it. I concentrated hard, but nothing happened. Connor was ten feet away, staring out the window. I thought for a moment that I was going to have to ask him to come closer. He turned, as if sensing I needed him. His fiery eyes triggered an image of the night in the train, and the energy pressed against me. I gathered it and, with one burst of mental force, pushed to open the path. Her entire body went tense.

I dropped my hands from her head, but she sat there, catatonic, like someone had just killed her dog. Like
I
had just killed her dog. Addie had never had a dog, so maybe that was a bad analogy. That’s when it hit me. I had been so focused on learning
how to do this that I’d almost forgotten my main fear: that she’d learn something about me that would make her hate me. The look in her eyes made me realize this was probably true. My hands twitched, dying to shut off the path I had just opened. I needed her in my life. She made it easier to breathe.

She stood but then leaned against her desk as if she might fall. Connor took her by the elbow. “Addie. You need to sit down before you pass out. You’re overwhelmed.”

She lowered herself back into the chair and started laughing. The laugh was creepy. Like someone had just killed her dog and then brought it back to life. The laugh of a person on the verge of insanity.

“I’m going to get her something to drink,” Connor said to me, and left the room.

“Wow,” she finally said.

I had never seen Addie this way, and quite frankly it was terrifying. “You hate me.”

Her glazed eyes met mine, and then she popped back up and grabbed me by the shoulders, crushing me against her. “No. You’re alive.”

“I’m alive.”

“It felt so real.”

“I . . .” My mind reeled. “I died in your other life?”

She nodded, her cheek rubbing against my hair as she did. And then she whispered it so quietly I almost didn’t hear her. “I love Trevor.”

“What?” Then I clarified her statement. “You mean that you
loved him in your other future.”

Addie sat back, her eyes so glassy I knew she was seconds from crying. “I can’t separate the two. Don’t you understand? These memories, it’s like they really happened. They feel as real as you sitting in front of me.”

I didn’t understand. At all. It was weird for me to think that a vision essentially could feel as solid as reality, but the look on her face was unmistakable—her feelings were real. “So you love Trevor . . . that has to feel awkward.”

She shook her head almost violently. “It doesn’t. He is . . .” And then the tears came, pooling in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. I thought I wanted these memories, but now I realize that he hardly knows me.”