Spoilt (33 page)

* * *

Chelsea didn’t intentionally tell Carrie that she was leaving,
it had slipped out. Well, sort of. She knew that deep down she did
want to know what Lucas’ reaction would be to her leaving. Would he
care?

She spent her last night in hospital, curled in a ball,
wondering if she would ever be as happy again as she was for that
one week with Lucas. Chelsea had believed she had found the one man
she had wanted to spend forever with. Her Pa had said she would
know. Had she gotten it wrong all over again?

Chapter 37

Goodbye

Monday

After attempting to eat her breakfast to find she couldn’t
stomach it again, Chelsea decided to get up and shower before
packing her things. Gingerly, she undertook the task and it ended
up taking most of the morning to ready herself to leave. Once the
doctor had cleared her, she decided to visit Charlotte on her way
out.

“
Hey, honey, how are you feeling?’

“
Like someone shot me in the shoulder.”

“
Good, you’re still as feisty as ever. You must be feeling
better.”

“
I want to leave but I have to stay one more day. I just want
to go home.”

“
I know, honey. When you’re discharged from the hospital
tomorrow, I’ll have packed my clothes and we can go home
altogether.”

“
I guess you haven’t changed your mind then.”

“
No I haven’t.”

“
Suit yourself, but I wouldn’t let him get away.”

“
It’s not my choice, it’s his. He broke up with me. Now I have
to go, Mum will be waiting. See you tomorrow.”

On the way home in the car, Sarah began to drill her eldest
child.

“
Chelsea there really is no hurry to leave. I can stay with
you for a few weeks while you consider some more.”

“
I don’t need to consider anything, Mum. Nothing has gone
right for me since moving to the city. I give up and I just want to
go home.”

“
At least think about leasing Bloom out for a while, in case
you want to come back.”

“
I won’t be coming back.”

“
Are you sure, Chelsea? Once it’s done, you can’t change your
mind.”

“
I know and I won’t change my mind.”

Sarah dropped the subject and Chelsea remained silent. As soon
as they walked in the door, Chelsea headed upstairs.

“
That’s a good idea, honey, you go and rest. I’ll pick up some
groceries.”

“
I’m not going to rest, Mum, I’m going to pack.”

“
That can wait. I’ll help you with it later. There really is
no hurry. Charlotte won’t be leaving the hospital until tomorrow.
Besides, you should be resting.”

“
Mum, I rested in the hospital. I just want to get
started.”

Sarah knew to argue with her would be pointless and let her
go.

As Chelsea entered her room she flashed back to the last
morning she’d seen Lucas sleeping in her bed, his handsome face so
peaceful and .....

Stop it!

She opened her wardrobe, determined to make a start and
cease the memories that threatened to take over her thoughts. As
she began to pull clothes from the hangers and throw them on the
bed, she noticed an overnight bag sitting on the floor of the
cupboard. Puzzled, she picked it up and after opening it, regretted
it instantly. Lucas’ masculine aroma assaulted her. Dropping the
bag back where she had retrieved it, she stepped back until she ran
into the bed and fell back onto it.

She lay down and put her head on the pillow Lucas had slept
on and his scent greeted her once more. How am I going to get
through this again? Heart wrenching sobs overcame her and she
released the heartache she thought would never leave.

* * *

Lucas blew off work, something of a habit of late. He knew
Chelsea would be leaving the hospital today and wondered again
whether he’d made the right decision. He'd failed to protect her.
It was the best thing for them both. He tried to convince himself
and his heart that he’d made the right decision, but it did little
to remove the emptiness living inside him. Why was this so
hard?

I need closure. Once I have that, I can move on.

Remembering he’d left some of his possessions at her house, he
thought it a perfect opportunity to collect them and to say
goodbye. He drove slowly, dreading the thought of having to see her
one last time and then never seeing her again. Sarah answered the
door and her expression was a combination of hope and
irritation.

“
Hello, Lucas, please come in. Would you like some
coffee?”

“
No, thanks. I just came by to say goodbye.”

“
I think she’s resting and I would prefer that you didn’t
disturb her right now.”

“
Maybe I should go.”

“
No, have a coffee with me. I want to talk to you.”

Leaving no room for argument, she walked to the kitchen,
poured two cups and gestured for him to join her
outside.

“
Is this really what you want?” she asked him
bluntly.

“
No, yes. It’s the best thing for both of us.”

“
No, Lucas, it’s best for you.”

“
I ... can’t ... I didn’t protect her, I ...” He stopped,
unable to find the right words. “I’m not going to change my mind.
She’s better off.”

Sarah shook her head and took away his untouched coffee.
“She’s upstairs. Just say goodbye and leave. She’s been through
enough.”

She disappeared into the house while Lucas sat for several
moments, preparing himself to face Chelsea again.

Entering the house had been like walking straight into his
memory. He’d relived each moment as he walked up the stairs, the
visions flooding his mind, suffocated him. As he walked into her
room, he swallowed down the lump in his throat.

His breath caught when he saw her curled up asleep on the
bed, hugging the pillow on what had been, for a short time, his
side. It took every ounce of his willpower not to join her.
Instead, he sat at the foot of the bed and gently called her
name.

“
Sorry for intruding,” he said quietly when she opened her
eyes.

“
What are you doing here?” She sat up abruptly at the sound of
his voice. Wincing, she brought a hand to her chest to press on her
bandage. His throat constricted as his heart leapt into it. He
cleared it.

“
I heard you were leaving. I came to say goodbye.”

“
Why? Wait, don’t answer that.” She furrowed her brow and
crinkled her nose. Lucas went to lift his hand to touch her face.
It took all his resolve to stop himself. “You’ve said it now, so
goodbye.”

He said nothing for a moment. “Did I leave any of my things
here?”

“
Probably,” she mumbled, well aware that he had but trying to
make it as hard for him as possible.

She climbed tentatively from the bed and it was Lucas’ turn to
wince. Chelsea opened her wardrobe and retrieved the bag holding
his belongings. She threw the bag at him before walking over to her
side table and retrieving his journal.

“
Here have your old life back while you’re at it.” She threw
the book at him. The gesture and her bitterness nearly broke
him

“
Chelsea, I’m sorry.”

“
I don’t want to hear it,” she answered through gritted
teeth.

“
I didn’t protect you from him.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “You blame yourself?”

“
Yes.”

“
It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.”

“
How can it be your fault?”

“
You obviously don’t know the full story then.”

Damn he should have read the file. What could possibly have
happened for her to even think this was her fault.
“There is no way
you could have done anything to make that .... him do what he did.
The only one to blame is me. I should have done more.”

“
It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you and neither should
you. Now you have got that off your chest, you can go.”

She walked slowly out to the balcony and shut the sliding
door tentatively behind her. The exertion caused her face to
grimace in pain. Again his heart mirrored her
expression.

He stared sadly after her for a moment before standing
abruptly. He collected his bag and strode out, leaving his leather
bound memories on her bed.

Chapter 38

Healing the Soul

One Month Later

Chelsea’s external wounds were healed but her heart refused to
mend. Being around her family, although comforting, did little to
alleviate her sorrow or shift her loneliness, so she simply
withdrew. Try as she might she could not forget about Lucas. She
told herself over and over that she was being ridiculous, juvenile
and simply pathetic but her heart wasn’t willing to listen. Was
this what it was like to give up on life?

Charlotte took her out and encouraged her to date, which
Chelsea politely refused to do. Her ever-changing moods, from
melancholy to anger and loneliness and back to melancholy, started
to worry her family. The only company she kept was a leather bound
book. Even though it was painful, she couldn’t control the urge to
read it. She wanted to stop torturing herself but did it
nevertheless. Having read it several times through, she’d come to
understand the man who broke her heart better than she knew
herself.

When she put Bloom on the market and urged her parents to
do the same with the house, they did so reluctantly. Her Pa tried
to coax her back into life and Charlotte advised her daily that
there were plenty of fish in the sea. Chelsea only wanted one fish.
Pathetic.

* * *

Maggie began to grow tired of her partner’s impossible mood
swings. He growled at everyone and was abrasive with her. She
couldn’t remember ever seeing him behave this way.

When they first became partners, he was insensitive and
apathetic and, for a short time, she’d managed to entice him out of
this, albeit only slightly. Over the years he had softened a little
but after he'd met Chelsea, the real Lucas had
resurfaced.

She'd had many conversations over the past month with Carrie,
who reinforced Maggie’s belief that Lucas had changed for the
better during his week with Chelsea. She told Maggie how he
reminded her of the seventeen year old Lucas, the sweet young man
who disappeared when they lost their parents. Chelsea had relit
Lucas’s soul, which had turned dark once again. Maggie and Carrie
were at a loss.

* * *

Lucas woke up with a hangover, again. This, he discovered, was
the only way to cease the images haunting him day and night. Every
dark haired girl on the street during the day caused his heart to
leap. At night, in his dreams, he relived every moment of their
time together. There was no escape.

He opened one eye cautiously and was relieved to find he was
alone. He had come close many times over the past weeks, in his
drunken haze, to bringing home another nameless girl. This is how
he used to fill his empty days, before Chelsea, when his heart was
a shadow. Meaningless nights with just any girl would do nothing to
ease the oppressing loneliness he lived with now that she was
gone.

Last night was still blurry in his mind as he tried to recall
through the fog what had occurred. He remembered attempting to pick
up a brunette in the bar. He was now, in the cold light of day,
thankful he hadn’t. His self-loathing was appeased only slightly,
by the fact that he hadn’t used some poor girl to mollify his
emptiness, albeit for one night. He knew though, even if he hadn’t
been alone, he would still have been lonely.

This morning, for this very reason, he decided enough was
enough.

He was still crazy in love with Chelsea Summerville and it was
time to have her in his life again, where she belonged. He no
longer desired to wake up alone and without her.

* * *

Two Weeks Later

The drive to her parents' house was scenic and relaxing,
though it didn’t calm his ragged heart from beating
uncontrollably.

What if she doesn’t want me back in her life?

Three anxious hours later, he drove up the sweeping driveway
and stared in awe at the majestic house. Immediately catching the
eye were stone pillared balconies jutting from upstairs rooms,
while the front alcove leading to a set of double doors looked a
little magical. His notions were so fanciful and everything
appeared different to him now.

The beautiful, vast gardens, sprinkled with the various
colours of summer, brought memories flooding back to a time when
they lay whispering to each other in the wee hours. He remembered
every little detail now, as though it was yesterday, when she’d
recounted stories from her life in Tidwell. Her beautiful face had
lit up and her eyes had grown wide and vivacious as she’d spoken
about her first love, flowers.