Spurt (20 page)

Vivi looked disturbed. ‘That wasn’t … You’ve got it
totally
wrong. I’d barely spoken a
word
to Oliver before that soccer match.’

‘Well, you’ve definitely been making up for lost time.’

‘Now you’re just being gross. But, actually, you’re right. I
have
got to know him since then. And I think you’re being totally unfair to him.’

Jack wondered how well Vivi
really
knew Sampson. Did she know he’d called Jack a ‘baldy balls’ in front of everyone else in the changing rooms? Did she know about his secret identity as ModLSkillz, bad-mouthing Jack on the
Bigwigs
forum?

‘There’s something you don’t know about Oliver,’ said Vivi, stealing the very same words that Jack was gearing up to say. ‘I shouldn’t be telling you this, but Oliver sent in an application for
Bigwigs
, the year after you were on. And they said no. He lost to someone else. Which, I don’t know, might sound familiar? I’m just saying.’

‘Right,’ said Jack, rolling his eyes. ‘And that makes me the all-round worst person ever.’

‘
Bigwigs
is like a beehive of bad memories for Oliver,’ Vivi went on. ‘And now you’re poking and prodding at it with this reunion episode thing. You’ve probably undone
months
of therapy.’

That was sort of the idea
, thought Jack. He’d had to fight back against Sampson’s testosterone firestorm somehow. It wasn’t
his
fault that
Bigwigs
was the only weapon he had.

‘Yeah,’ he said sarcastically. ‘Poor Sampson, with all his freakishly enormous man-parts. I bet
that
sucks.’ He crooked his elbow into his groin and let his arm dangle forward like an elephant’s trunk, then swayed it from side to side as he honked out the words, ‘What. A. Tragedy.’

‘Here’s your mineral water, Miss Junior Deputy Mayor.’

Jack looked awkwardly over his shoulder as the woman returned and handed Vivi a bottle of pale-green mineral water with a straw in it. He couldn’t think of any way to explain what he was doing, so he just held his pose.

‘I won’t ask,’ said the woman.

‘I’d struggle for an answer, to be honest,’ said Jack, straightening up again.

The woman looked into the mayor’s office and said, ‘I think he’s ready for you.’

Vivi leant towards Jack as they were both ushered inside. ‘I don’t know what your deal is with Oliver,’ she whispered. ‘But if you could give him a job on your team – if you gave him some proper screen time on
Bigwigs
– then I might not think you’re a totally awful person.’ She pulled out her phone. ‘I’m texting you his number now. So you’ve got no excuse.’

Jack had no intention of giving Sampson any more
Bigwigs
screen time. ‘What if he says no?’

‘Then I’ll just assume you weren’t trying hard enough. Either that, or …’

‘Or what?’

‘Or that you really don’t care what I think of you.’

Jack couldn’t believe it. The reason all of this had happened in the
first
place was because he cared what Vivi and Reese and Darylyn thought of him. He was so concerned about their opinion of him that he’d tried to fake puberty to stay friends with them.

Did he really have it in him to keep up that charade and be a good Samaritan to Sampson as well?

Jack spent his second day as Mayor for a Week getting in and out of the council limousine and posing for photo opportunities with magistrates, the police chief, fire wardens and other important townsfolk.

Todd and Brett trailed him the whole time in their minivan, filming the photo ops and small talk. Jack figured Delilah was busy making sure she had everything in place to bring his reunion show clip package to a suitably impressive climax.

His big ballooning moment was only days away. Soon he’d be standing up in front of the whole town to launch the balloon festival, before soaring through the heavens to victory in his very own mayoral chariot.

With his official duties finally over for the day, Jack grabbed himself an energy shake and walked home via the Bernadino Mall. All through the day, everywhere he’d gone, he’d been welcomed like a king. Every door in Upland was open to him.

It was almost enough to stop him thinking about the typically disappointing results of that morning’s pube tally. (Zero.)

And it was almost enough to stop him thinking about the guilt trip Vivi had laid on him the day before.

Upland’s newly sworn-in Deputy Mayor for a Week had been sitting in on council subcommittee meetings all day. But Jack figured that was probably Vivi’s idea of fun. She would’ve hated being driven all around town and having to meet and greet the townsfolk, he decided. If anything, he’d done her a
favour
by making her deputy.

He thought about calling Sampson, like Vivi had asked him to. He’d been putting it off. He didn’t want Sampson soaking up his precious time on camera. And he definitely didn’t want Sampson standing in the same frame as him, making him look small when he needed more than ever to look big.

The producers must have had a good reason for rejecting Sampson from
Bigwigs
in the first place. Jack didn’t see why it was suddenly
his
responsibility to give Sampson
Bigwigs
screen time.

Especially not now, when Jack still had to convince everyone he was Bigwigs Board material.

Jack’s phone rang. For a moment he was worried it was Vivi, calling to guilt him, but it was Darylyn.

‘Hey,’ he answered. ‘Is the balloon ready?’

‘It’s done,’ said Darylyn, sounding slightly offended at Jack’s presumption of anything less than a hundred per cent efficiency on her part. ‘I’ve got the 3D file right here on my laptop. But –’

‘But what?’

‘The design Philo’s come up with. It has what I would call a significant emphasis on dried fruits.’

‘Oh yeah, that’s okay,’ said Jack. ‘That was the plan.’

It turned out Philo
hadn’t
got the morning off from the Sultana World stand to help Jack move into his bachelor pad. He’d skipped his shift, and he was in his parents’ bad books, big time. Jack figured that turning the hot-air balloon into a free advertisement for Sultana World might help Philo balance the ledger.

‘Just confirming you’re okay with it being so … sultana-focused,’ said Darylyn.

As long as it’s not covered in pubes
, thought Jack. He was about to ask Darylyn to send him through a screenshot of the 3D file, just to be sure, when he spotted a lone figure doing some window shopping further down the mall, causing him to lose his train of thought.

Former Mayor for a Week and Jack’s-girlfriend-who-didn’t-know-it-yet: Natsumi Distagio.

‘It’s all good,’ Jack replied vaguely. ‘Gotta go.’ He hit ‘End call’ and picked up his mayoral stride again. ‘That’s right,’ he barked, pretending to speak into the phone. ‘You tell those pen-pushers at town hall to pull out all the stops. This balloon festival’s too damn important to wrap up in red tape. I don’t want to hear any more “No we can’t”. I want to hear “Yes we can!” You got that?’

Nats spun around. She clutched the straps of her sequinned slouch bag with one hand, and half a dozen shopping bags with the other. Jack pretended not to see her at first. Then she leant to one side and waved at him, shopping bags dangling from her arm.

‘Oh, h-hey, Natsumi,’ he said, aiming for laidback, but not quite managing to keep the tremor from his voice.

‘Jack! Who were you talking to just now?’ Nats made a show of looking concerned. ‘It sounded serious!’

Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Just some official Mayor for a Week business. This phone will
not
stop ringing. I mean, I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. You’ve been there. You know what it’s like, being the big man in town.’

Nats blushed.

‘Big woman!’ Jack corrected himself. ‘You would have been more of a big woman. I mean, you still are, obviously. A big, big woman.’

He sucked nervously on the straw of his energy shake while Nats stared awkwardly down at her feet.

‘Anyway,’ said Jack, quickly moving on. ‘My point is that being Mayor for a Week is cuh-razy.’

Nats nodded. ‘It’s so rewarding, but it’s a
lot
of pressure.’

‘Totally,’ said Jack. ‘And on top of the usual craziness, there’s the hot-air balloon festival happening on the weekend. I’m even racing in my own special “Mayor for a Week” balloon. I’m calling it Hot-Air Force One.’

‘Nice!’ Nats snorted with laughter. Jack felt his confidence creep up a notch.

‘And, you know, I’ve also got this film crew following me around the whole time …’

‘That’s right!’ said Nats, taking Jack’s bait, just as he’d hoped. ‘The
Bigwigs
thing! It’s weird, Hals keeps giving me the brush-off whenever I ask about it. I’m like, how can you be so meh about it? It’s
TV
!’

‘It is. It
is
TV.’ Jack swallowed nervously. ‘And speaking of TV … I mean, if you ever wanted to get in front of the cameras … you know, before they wrap up the shoot …’

Nats looked at him expectantly.

‘I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be hard to organise.’

‘Really?’

Jack stroked his chin thoughtfully. ‘The only thing is, we’d need to come up with a good reason why we’d be hanging out together …’

‘Well, I’m friends with your sister, so … ?’

Jack screwed up his face. ‘Yeah, but Hallie’s doing her best to avoid being on camera. I don’t know, I kind of get the feeling she’d bring down the vibe and spoil your big moment.’

Nats shrugged. ‘Well, we could just pretend we know each other some other way?’

‘Interesting,’ said Jack, nodding meditatively. ‘What … sort of thing did you have in mind?’

A ‘eureka’ look flashed across Nats’s face. ‘I’ve got it! The Mayor for a Week program! I could be your mentor. That way I get to show everyone my serious and intelligent side.’

‘Hmm,’ said Jack, doing his best to look as though he was giving it serious consideration. ‘Interesting idea. I’m just wondering … What if,
instead
of that, we tweaked the set-up a little – just a tiny bit – and you, I don’t know …’

Jack took a deep breath and went for it.

‘…
pretendedtobemygirlfriend
.’