Stage Fright (21 page)

JESSE RAN LIGHTLY up the stairs to his second-floor apartment. Val followed him more sedately, and Jesse was conscious of the slower, more deliberate tread and the heavy weight of Val’s gaze on his ass. Heat coiled in his groin, and his dick strained against the confines of his jeans.

He opened the door to his apartment and switched on the light. He ushered Val through the door and headed down the hall. “My bedroom’s the second on the right.”
Val’s reply was muffled. “Don’t you have any food in your fridge?”
Jesse expected Val to be right behind him. He backtracked and found Val in the kitchen, his head in the sparsely supplied fridge.
“You’re hungry
now
?”

Val gave him a patient look and handed him a dishcloth wrapped around ice cubes. “I found some ice for you. I thought maybe you’d like to take some painkillers, so I was looking for juice or milk, but you’re out of luck.”

“It’s Chris’s turn to shop this week.” Jesse put the ice on his face. “Shit, that’s cold.”
“You’re supposed to keep it on for fifteen minutes at a time.”

“I know.” He’d had enough bruises and sprains as a dancer to know basic first aid. He had plenty of practice taking care of himself. It was nice to have someone else looking out for him, though. Weirdly comforting.

He crossed the hall to the bathroom. He stood at the mirror and examined his face critically as Val leaned in the doorway behind him. There was no swelling, but the bruise was dark and extended into his hairline. He touched the mark tentatively as he met Val’s gaze in the mirror. “It’s not too bad.”

“No,” Val said slowly. “You were lucky.”

Val wasn’t talking about the bruise. Jesse had told him everything that happened between him and Ben before Val had arrived. “Maybe.” Jesse didn’t want to believe Ben would have beaten him, but maybe Val was right, and a beating wasn’t the worst that could have happened. He remembered Ben’s body at his back, that huge cock insistent against his ass.
He
swallowed and dropped the cloth and ice in the sink, overcome with the urgent need for the comfort of Val’s arms around him. He pressed against Val, seeking solace.

“Hey.” Val sounded startled. He hugged Jesse back. “You’re okay. Right?” Jesse nodded, his cheek rubbing against the stiff cotton of Val’s white dress shirt. He brushed past Val, taking him by the hand. “Come on.”

He flipped on his bedroom’s overhead light and grimaced as the unflattering glare revealed his meager possessions. Val had been to his apartment before. He’d met Chris and hung out. They’d never had sex here, though, and this was the first time Val had seen his bedroom. Jesse watched as Val looked around, his curious gaze taking in the hastily made single bed. Jesse’s dirty laundry was heaped in a cardboard box, the debris of his life piled haphazardly on his dresser. Loose change, receipts, his abandoned attempt to start a poker chip collection.

Val’s neutral expression didn’t waver, but Jesse saw the room through his lover’s eyes. It was a transient’s room. The bedroom of a man who hadn’t committed to anything. Well, that had changed. He was committed to Val now. They were committed to each other. The thought gave him a future he could look forward to.

Jesse pulled his T-shirt over his head and toed off his shoes and socks. This would be the first time they had sex since they’d fought. Since they’d told each other how they felt. He would have preferred a long, sensuous celebration in Val’s tidy bedroom and queen-size bed rather than a hurried session in his cramped twin with its rumpled, week-old sheets. He wished they could have made this special somehow. But soon they’d be together every night. They’d have time for comfort and kisses.

“You have to leave for work soon, so this will have to be quick.” Jesse snapped open his jeans.
Val reached out and stilled his hand. “You probably need to rest.”

“I need you more than anything else right now.” He wanted Val to help him forget the sensation of a bulky body holding him down, rutting against him. He wanted tenderness, but they didn’t have time for that, so he’d settle for a mind-blowing orgasm.

Val stroked his thumb down Jesse’s belly from his navel to the top of his underwear. “I’ll give you whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

Jesse slid his briefs and jeans down his legs and stepped out of them. “There’s not much room, but we can manage.” He lay down on his back. “Lube’s in the drawer. There’s condoms too if you don’t have one on you.”

Val stepped over Jesse’s discarded jeans and switched off the harsh overhead light. He clicked on the bedside lamp and sat on the edge of the bed, still fully dressed. He brushed Jesse’s hair out of his eyes. “We don’t have to do this if you’re tired and sore.” His gaze softened. “Just tell me what you want.”

Jesse closed his eyes as Val stroked his skin. His hand smelled pleasantly of soap. Val’s fingertips trailed down the unbruised side of his face, over his jaw and throat. Jesse tipped his head back, and Val bent and kissed his collarbone. “What do you need?”

This closeness was what Jesse craved. “I need this. I need you.”
“You’ve got me.”
Val placed a line of openmouthed kisses across his chest and flicked Jesse’s nipple

with his tongue. Jesse groaned and tugged on Val’s shirt. “Let me feel you.”

Val sat up and removed his dress shirt, then leaned back in for a kiss. Jesse sank his fingers into Val’s thick hair and licked at the seam of Val’s lips. Their tongues tangled, and when Jesse withdrew, Val followed.

Since the minute Jesse had seen Ben in the parking lot, he’d felt like a spring wound too tight. The muscles in his shoulders ached with tension. Now that tautness eased as Val told him everything was okay without saying anything at all.

Jesse tugged at Val’s pants. “I need to feel all of you.”

Val stood and undressed. Jesse watched as his lover took time to fold his clothes and place them in a neat pile on the floor. He’d fantasized that this day would end with them in bed together, but he hadn’t been naive enough to assume they’d just pick up where they’d left off, as if their argument had never happened. In a way he’d been right. Everything had changed, and yet nothing had.

He moved over, and Val eased onto the narrow bed. They lay on their sides, elbows and knees bumping awkwardly as they wriggled and found a comfortable position. Jesse pulled Val closer, hungry for the feel of his lover’s smooth, warm skin against his. Val’s erection nestled in the crease of his thigh, and Jesse shifted until their heated flesh lined up. Jesse tried to thrust hard and fast, but Val refused to be rushed.

“Whoa, let’s take the time to enjoy this.”

Val set a less frenetic pace. The slow, sweet friction made Jesse crazy with need, but in a good way. Val kissed him and stroked his back. One hand slid down Jesse’s flank to palm his butt. This was nice, but Jesse needed intimacy, and there was no greater intimacy than sharing his body with his lover. He draped a thigh over Val’s and pushed his ass into Val’s palm in clear invitation.

Val gazed at him, his hazel eyes warm. He slipped his fingers between Jesse’s cheeks to brush delicately against the sensitive skin behind his balls. “Is this what you want right now?” His expression was so attentive, so caring, Jesse’s heart felt wrung out.

“You were hurt tonight. If you’re not up to it—” Val cut himself off, and they both laughed. “Well, you’re definitely up for something.”
“You’re driving me out of my mind. I want this. I want you. Don’t make me beg.”
“God, Jesse.” Val’s eyes darkened, and he rolled away to retrieve the lube and condom as Jesse shifted onto his back.
There wasn’t much room. Val straddled his thigh and eased slippery fingers into his body. He nuzzled closer, kissing Jesse’s face, his eyebrows, his mouth. “I know you think we need to rush, but work can wait a little longer. Let me love you properly, Jesse.”

Jesse’s breath caught. He’d had been a fool in so many ways. He’d worried about other people’s opinions, ridden roughshod over his own ethics, and been too stupid to see what Ben was up to. Val’s words soothed his battered and bruised ego better than any ice pack.

Val caressed him inside and out. Jesse bit back a whimper as those beautiful fingers sought out and stroked his prostate over and over. He arched up, eyes squeezed shut, his breathing fast and ragged. He’d thought he was settling for a rushed fuck, but Val was drawing his pleasure out, making him feel like he was soaring. Jesse pressed his heels into the mattress, his balls drawing up tight against his body as the familiar tingling started deep down in his belly.

“That’s it. Let me take care of you, sweetheart.”

“I need to feel you inside me.”
“If that’s what you want.” Val withdrew his fingers gently.
“I’d like to be on my stomach.” Jesse wanted to remember the warmth of Val’s

body against his back, the brush of Val’s hair against his skin when he fell asleep tonight.

Surprise, then understanding showed on Val’s face. “Sure.”
Jesse made himself comfortable as Val rolled the condom on and knelt behind him. Val leaned over him to kiss his nape. His cock rode the cleft of Jesse’s ass. Jesse moaned. He spread his legs wider and tilted his hips up. He wanted that hot, hard shaft pushing into his body, to forget everything but pleasure as Val made love to him.

Val traced a path down the valley of Jesse’s spine, kissing each vertebra and ending at the bony spot just above his butt. He stroked Jesse’s skin. “You have these amazing twin dimples just above your ass. Every time I see them, I want to press my thumbs over them and sink my fingers into your hips.”

Jesse spoke over his shoulder. “Go ahead. Do whatever you want.”

“I want to make this good for you.”
“It’s always good with you.” He wasn’t lying. Sex with Val was so much more than just physical release. There was tenderness in Val’s every gesture, every touch. It had always been this way between them.
A delicate pink color tinted Val’s cheeks. He ducked his head. “Ready?”
“God, yes.”

The head of Val’s cock nudged his hole. Pleasure made Jesse cry out as Val pressed forward, stretching the ring of muscle and slowly invading his willing body. Val didn’t stop until his groin was snug against Jesse’s butt and they were fully joined together. Goose bumps broke out over Jesse’s skin as the wiry hair on Val’s legs tickled the backs of Jesse’s thighs. He panted, almost overcome with the delicious sensation of fullness. The brush of Val’s cock against his gland as Val settled against his back made him shudder.

“You feel so good.” Val’s breath ghosted over Jesse’s skin as he spoke. “I was giving you time to cool down, but if you hadn’t come back to me, I think I might have gone down on my knees and begged you. I’d do anything for you.” Val withdrew and eased forward. His body shook with the effort of going so slow.

Jesse groaned and pushed back to meet him. This was exquisite torture. “Then don’t make me wait. Give us what we both want.”

Val surged forward, and Jesse raised his hips to meet Val’s thrusts. Jesse fisted the bedclothes and grunted as Val rode him with desperate passion. The bed frame creaked in time with their harsh breathing and the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

Jesse’s back was slick with sweat, and his breath came in sobs. Every stroke rubbed over his prostate. He couldn’t contain the pleasure. The pressure built unbearably until it erupted out of him and he was soaring like a bird in an endless desert sky.

Val was right there with him. Jesse’s muscles clamped down, and he felt Val’s heat pumping into him as Val cried his name.

Minutes passed as Jesse lay on his stomach, breathing heavily. Val lay half on him, his face pressed into Jesse’s shoulder. “I was afraid I’d never get to do this again.”
Endorphins had made Jesse relaxed, and he spoke without censoring his words. “I knew I’d made a mistake as soon as I left your apartment. I was always coming back.”
Val stroked his ass. “I know this is your preference, but do you think I’m selfish because I’ve never offered myself to you?” His voice was carefully neutral as he asked, “Would you even want to…make love to me?”
Jesse rolled onto his side. “Would you want me to?”

Val searched his face. “I don’t know. I trust you, so maybe. Yeah. I think so.” There was a story there. Hell, there had to be if Val couldn’t even bring himself to say the word
bottom
. They’d never spoken of this before, and Jesse did prefer to be topped. Still, though he wouldn’t push, he liked the idea of being inside Val, introducing him to a new pleasure. That was for another day, though. “We can try that, if you like. Someday when we’re both feeling adventurous.”

Val smiled at his choice of words. “Okay.” Val kissed the top of his head. Jesse closed his eyes. The unpleasantness of the last few days was behind him, and he was exactly where he wanted to be.

 

He jerked awake when Val tried to extract himself. “You’re leaving?” “I’m already late.”

 

Val dressed efficiently as Jesse rubbed his eyes. “I’ll let you out.” Jesse struggled into his jeans, but as they stood at the apartment door, his chest was cold.

Val pulled him into a hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Go back to sleep now. Okay?” Jesse murmured his agreement.
Val gave him a kiss that was probably meant to soothe, but woke him up a little.

“Sleep.” Val swatted his ass playfully.

 

“Okay, okay.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “Bossy boyfriends.”

Val tried and failed to hide his grin. “Night, Jesse.”
Jesse closed and locked the door and climbed back into bed. He tried to stay awake, to make plans for moving to New York, but exhaustion overtook him. He was asleep within minutes. His last conscious thought was to ask Val if they could go and see Greenwich Village.

Chapter Sixteen

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Jesse finished out his time at the revue. After his big announcement there were a couple of guys who seemed a little shy in the shower, but most of the dancers took his orientation in stride. Whether that was because Mike had already blazed the trail for Jesse or because maybe he and Val hadn’t been nearly as subtle as they’d thought, Jesse didn’t know.
He phoned his parents, who were understandably less than enthusiastic about him moving across the country with a man they’d never met. Jesse promised to visit and introduce them to Val on the way to New York, and that appeased them somewhat. His mom seemed disappointed she didn’t have an excuse to visit Vegas, but Jesse thought his dad sounded relieved. He was probably happy he didn’t have to leave the diner in someone else’s hands.
Jesse packed up his few possessions. The bed and dresser belonged to Chris, so he didn’t have to worry about selling any furniture. Fortunately he’d never gotten around to getting his books and CDs sent from home. Maybe he and Val could pick up some of his stuff when they stopped off. He’d need winter clothes in New York.
Now there was nothing left to do. Jesse stood on the sidewalk outside his building, a couple of suitcases and a duffel bag at his feet. Chris stood beside him as he waited for Val to arrive so they could start their journey to New York.
He’d said his good-byes to Mike the night before. Mike had hugged him hard. Jesse suggested he come visit sometime, and Mike had agreed, saying he’d always wanted to take the Commando cross-country. Jesse hoped he would. He’d do his best to maintain contact.
It was early morning, the sun bright, but it wasn’t hot yet. He thought of the last time he’d stood on the sidewalk waiting for Val. He’d been excited, happy to be spending a whole day together, but now they were planning on spending their lives together. He’d come to Vegas and won the jackpot.