Stage Fright (8 page)

“At first I wasn’t sure if you were into men. Then when I realized you’re not out, I didn’t want to give you away. And if you were just on the prowl…I didn’t want to be a quick, nameless fuck.”

Jesse turned his head to face him. “Were you playing hard to get?” The idea that Val had wanted him too—from the first night—thrilled him.

 

Val’s mouth curved in a secret smile. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

 

Jesse tried to be indignant, but Val was still stroking him, and it felt so good. No one else touched him like this, as if he was special.

Jesse let his eyes close. Val added a squeeze on the upstroke. Jesse pushed into Val’s hand, his breath loud in his ears. He shouldn’t be so greedy. Should reciprocate, but with those long fingers, the glide and pull, he couldn’t seem to move.

“You’re amazing,” Val murmured.

 

Jesse opened his eyes. Val was watching him, noting every expression as it crossed his face.

Val leaned in and kissed him. His tongue teased Jesse’s lips, then explored his mouth. Too soon he pulled back and studied Jesse’s face. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to fuck me,” Jesse said breathlessly.
“You sure?” Val was asking, but already he was sliding his hand possessively between Jesse’s thighs, palming Jesse’s balls, then moving beyond, exploring his hypersensitive skin.
Jesse panted. “Please.”

Val rolled away, reaching into the drawer of his bedside table. Jesse smoothed his palm over Val’s ass, admiring the firm curves, tracing a small silvery scar high on his outer thigh.

Val knelt between his legs. He stroked Jesse’s belly with one hand and slipped slick fingers into the seam of Jesse’s body. He probed deeper, circling his entrance. Jesse bent his knees, put his feet flat on the bed.

Val’s fingertip breached his body, disappeared, then returned. Advance and retreat, a slow, sensual invasion.

“You haven’t done this for a while.”
“No.” Jesse spread his legs wider, offering Val more access. He bit his lip, arched up as Val worked slippery fingers in and out. Jesse stopped thinking and let himself enjoy the physical sensations. He didn’t need this much preparation, but Val was being careful, and Jesse loved foreplay. Apparently so did Val.

“You like that? Right there?” Val twisted his fingers.
Jesse groaned. “Val…please.”
“I want to touch you just right. Make you feel so good.” Val smoothed a condom

over his erection, moved closer.
“Do it. Please.”
Hot, hard flesh at his entrance; then Val was inside. Jesse panted, welcoming the

sharp sting, the stretch, as Val pressed forward, filling his body.

 

“Easy,” Val murmured. “Give yourself time to adjust.”

Jesse didn’t want to wait. He bucked up. Val thrust back, and soon they found their rhythm, moving together, both familiar with the steps of this particular dance.
Jesse was in sensory overload—the satiny-slick texture of the lube, the rush of pleasure each time Val surged forward, the delicious fullness and the bittersweet drag when Val pulled back only to push in to him again. He could hardly stand it, and yet he wished it would never stop. He clung desperately to Val, balanced on the precipice until at last Val’s movements grew more urgent. Val wrapped his arms around Jesse, holding him tightly.

Jesse gripped Val’s ribs with his knees and used his legs to pull Val even closer. He ground against him. This was what he wanted. Strong fingers digging into his skin, the scent of fresh sweat in his nostrils, a man’s cock in his ass.

Val’s breath was hot against his ear. “That’s it. Come on, Jesse. Show me how much you like what I’m doing to you.” He thrust hard, then shuddered.
Jesse followed just seconds later, wet heat erupting between them as Val’s words pushed him over the edge.

Chapter Six
They spent the whole afternoon in Val’s bed. Jesse rested in Val’s arms, warm skin and wiry chest hair against his cheek. The remains of their lunch sat on the nightstand.

 

“How long have you been in Vegas?” Val’s fingers traced invisible patterns against his shoulder blade.

“Six months.”
“What’d you do before you came here?”
Jesse nuzzled closer. Val shifted to accommodate him. “I worked at my parents’

diner.”
“You get along with them?” Val sounded surprised.
“Sure.” Jesse smiled against Val’s chest. “I didn’t mind waiting tables or cooking,

but eventually I had to get out. I was suffocating, you know?”
“Why’d you pick Vegas?”
“My parents came here for their honeymoon. I used to love looking at their photos

when I was little.” Jesse remembered all the times he’d sat on his mom’s lap as she turned the pages of their photo album. “Anyway, I’ve always wanted to check out Vegas, and I thought there’d be plenty of jobs.”

And he’d wanted to go someplace where people were tolerant. Where he didn’t feel like he had to downplay his orientation and he could be himself. Which was kind of funny, considering he’d taken a job where it seemed to make sense to stay in the closet. “What about you?”

“Lots of reasons.” Val grinned. “For one, it’s warm in the winter.”

Jesse stretched and licked at Val’s nipple, and Val gave a little sigh of pleasure. Val seemed content to hold him, but Jesse wanted to make love again. He closed his eyes. Not just yet, though. Maybe in a few minutes.

VAL KEPT HIS arm around Jesse as the dancer’s breathing deepened and the muscles of his body grew relaxed in sleep. Then he shifted carefully. At last he could watch Jesse the way he wanted to without fear that he would expose Jesse’s secret.

Jesse lay on his side, breathing slowly. Val couldn’t quite believe Jesse was in his bed. He longed to touch him but didn’t want to wake the man, so he contented himself with cataloging his features.

Jesse’s eyelashes were short and gold-tipped. He had pale freckles across his nose that Val had never noticed before. Jesse’s chin was sprinkled with gold stubble, and he had a small white scar just under his jaw. It looked old enough to be the result of some playground adventure. Maybe a tumble from the monkey bars or a fall from a swing. In his mind’s eye he saw a young, towheaded Jesse fearlessly trying to swing up and over the bars of a swing set. He ghosted a fingertip over Jesse’s jaw, not quite touching.

He angled his head to see more of Jesse’s body, wishing the sheets weren’t covering quite so much. Jesse was lightly tanned all over. Val should have noticed the absence of tan lines before, but he hadn’t until he’d tugged Jesse’s briefs down those lean thighs to expose the only part of Jesse he hadn’t seen until now. Jesse’s cock was as gorgeous as the rest of him. Val had sat back and drunk his fill of a completely naked Jesse—face flushed, mouth reddened from
his
kisses, cock heavy and hard because he wanted Val, not someone more extroverted or better looking. Val had smoothed his hands over Jesse’s skin, learning the topography of his body, as he tried to replace all those thoughtless, selfish touches with reverent caresses.

Jesse shifted in his sleep as if waking, and their thighs brushed together. Val’s cock thickened as he remembered the feel of Jesse’s nipple hardening under his tongue, the soft sounds of pleasure Jesse made as Val had pumped in and out of that snug, almost too-tight channel.

He glided his hand over the swell of Jesse’s biceps, over his ribs, stroking skin cooled by the bedroom’s air-conditioning.

Jesse blinked at him sleepily. “Hi.” He stretched, then lay quietly, seeming to enjoy the attention.
Val slid closer, his erection nudging Jesse’s sleep-soft cock. Jesse smiled and lifted the sheet. He directed his next comment to Val’s groin. “And hello to you too.”
Val laughed, and Jesse pressed their bodies together, rubbing against him as they kissed. After several breathless kisses Val stroked Jesse’s erection with a fingertip. “Looks like someone’s more awake.”
“Sorry I dozed off.”

“I don’t mind. I like lying here touching you.”
“I want to touch you too.”
Jesse rolled them over and trailed openmouthed kisses across his throat and chest.

He grinned at Val, then ducked his head, and Val cursed softly as teeth scraped his nipple. Val gripped Jesse’s arms, tugging him up for another kiss. He skimmed his fingertips down the valley of Jesse’s spine until he reached those twin dimples just above the swell of Jesse’s very sexy ass, losing himself in the taste of Jesse’s mouth and the feel of sinew and muscle shifting under his hands.

He was sure they were just going to rub off on each other, and that was fine— better than fine. But Jesse stretched out an arm, his weight pressing down on Val as he reached for a condom. Then he sat up and straddled Val’s thighs.

Val raised an eyebrow. “You okay to go again?”

 

“Uh-huh.” Jesse winked. “But last time you did all the work, so just lie back. It’s my turn to make you feel good.” He tore open the condom package.

Val snickered. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but it felt pretty damn good for me last time.”
“Shut up and let me do my thing.” Jesse rolled a condom carefully over Val’s erection. He moved forward and steadied himself with a hand on Val’s chest. Jesse eased himself down, and they both groaned as Val’s dick was surrounded by slick, velvet heat.
Jesse had a small, leaf-shaped birthmark on his groin, near his hip bone. Val pressed his thumb to the mark and fanned the fingers of his hands out over Jesse’s hips. “My thing can be your thing anytime you like.”

“Cute.” Jesse smiled at him, moving up onto his knees, then sinking back down.

Val’s thighs trembled with the effort of holding still and letting Jesse set the pace. Jesse rocked back and forth, fucking himself on Val’s dick, eyes closed, his lower lip caught in his teeth. The visual, coupled with the overwhelming sensations, was almost more than Val could bear. That hot, tight grip enveloped him, pulled him in over and over. He dug his fingers into those smooth cheeks as he fought the urge to thrust hard, afraid to move in case he came too soon.

Jesse leaned forward, resting his weight on one palm. He wrapped his fingers around his erection as he moved faster, driving himself harder. “God. I don’t want this to be over, but you feel so good. I can’t hold out much longer.”

Val lost his tenuous control. He snapped his hips up, and Jesse grinned down at him. “God, yeah. Like that.”
“Jesse,” Val groaned. His hips pumped helplessly into Jesse’s eager body as his orgasm crashed through him, wiping out all conscious thought.

Jesse cried out, and blood-hot liquid splashed onto Val’s stomach to trickle down his side. Jesse collapsed half on top of him, breathing heavily in Val’s ear. Val felt winded too, as if he’d run hard to get to this place, to this man.

Jesse shifted and grimaced as their bellies slid wetly. “I guess we should clean up.”

 

Val flexed his fingers, reluctant to release his grip. “There’s no hurry.”

Jesse nuzzled closer. “Yeah? You sure?” Val lay quietly as his cock softened inside Jesse’s body. Jesse’s heartbeat thudded rhythmically in time with Val’s, as if their hearts were aware of each other and trying to synchronize. He breathed in the clean smell of Jesse’s sweat and the sharp scent of their lovemaking. The weight of his feelings for Jesse settled into his tissue and bones, into his cells. Val held him firmly. “I’m sure.”

* * * *

They saw each other as often as they could. Sometimes they met up a few hours before rehearsal, wandering the strip and checking out the tourist attractions like the M&M store or the car collection at the Imperial Palace. They were both baffled by the M&M store. Why would anyone want an M&M brand spatula? Only Jesse was bored by the dusty antique car collection. Val was too absorbed to notice, thank God.

Other days they didn’t have time for more than a hurried dinner squeezed in after Jesse’s rehearsal and before the theater’s bar opened. Those were the times Jesse was tempted to suggest a visit to the storeroom, but Chaz was still keeping an eye on him, and he didn’t want to risk their jobs. They’d gotten each other off in Val’s car a couple of times before going in to work, but the Subaru was too public for Jesse’s comfort. He worried someone from the theater would see them.

Mondays they spent the entire day together, and if Val could get the night off from his second job, Jesse stayed over. Monday was now Jesse’s favorite day of the week.

“Why not New York?” Val asked.
“Sorry?”
They were lying in Val’s bed. Val smoothed a hand down Jesse’s side. “You’re a

dancer. Why didn’t you move to New York?”
“Too far away.” And he wasn’t a dancer, not really. Sure, the idea of living in a big city like New York with its gay neighborhoods and businesses was exciting, but he didn’t want to live all alone on the other side of the country.

“If you want to be a real dancer, you need to get out of Vegas.”

Jesse changed the subject. “What about you? What do you want to do?” “I’m living the dream,” Val deadpanned.
Jesse snorted. “Seriously.”

Val searched his face. “I’m trying to write a book.”

“Yeah? That’s cool. How far have you got?” Jesse kept his tone casual, and Val visibly relaxed.
“I’ve written eight chapters. Well, I’ve written chapter one eight times.” Val sighed. “I can’t come up with a decent story. I’ve got writer’s block.”

Jesse stroked his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to know a writer.”
Val smiled. “Well, now you do.” He spoke slowly as if thinking aloud. “I thought moving to Vegas might give me ideas for my book. There’s so much to draw from: mobsters, reclusive millionaires, gold-digging showgirls…”
“Power, money, and sex. Sounds like the formula for a good novel.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Val grumbled.
“So is living here helping with your writing?” Jesse asked.
“Not so far. Maybe it’s too artificial. Sometimes living in Vegas feels like I’m on a

crazy movie set.” Val sat up, the sheet puddling in his lap. “They just keep building giant hotels without any consideration for the natural environment or the resources required to sustain all this fakery. It’s the epitome of excess.” He gave an apologetic shrug. “Sorry. I’ll climb down off my soapbox.”

Jesse wrapped an arm around Val and tugged him back down. “You don’t like it here?”

 

Val gave him a lopsided grin. “I like that you’re here.”
* * * *
Jesse stood at his locker, surrounded by other dancers in various stages of dress.