Authors: Sheila O'Flanagan

Tags: #Fiction, #General

Stand by Me (69 page)

BOOK: Stand by Me

4.96Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

Read Book Download Book

ads

‘No. No trouble at all.’

‘Are you sure?’ His expression was anxious. ‘He wasn’t exactly happy to see you talking to me, was he?’

Domino shook her head. ‘He can be possessive, that’s all,’ she said. ‘He’s always been proprietorial towards Kelly and me.’

‘I was afraid that maybe you and he had argued about it.’

‘We don’t argue very much,’ she said.

‘No.’ He nodded slowly. ‘I can see that. I can see how you smooth things over, make it work. I understand now how it was that he could come home to you.’

‘Do you?’

‘Yes. You’ll keep going with him because he’s part of your life and he always will be. You feel a sense of duty towards him.’

‘You think?’

‘Of course. You took him back and you stood by him very publicly, and if it wasn’t for you, things might have been a lot harder for him.’

‘He’s a good man,’ she said. ‘Despite what happened.’

‘You still love him.’ Paddy’s voice was flat.

‘I’ll always love him,’ she said.

‘So where are you going now?’

‘Home,’ she said.

‘To Dublin?’ He looked at her in astonishment. ‘Now? Why?’

‘I love him, but not enough to live with him any more.’

‘Why?’ he asked again.

‘Too many things have happened,’ said Dominique. ‘Too many things have changed.’

‘So . . . have you told him this?’

She shook her head. ‘He’s having a good time tonight. I don’t want to mess it up now. I should stay and talk to him later. But I can’t. I can’t go through it all with him right now.’

‘But you will?’ He was watching her carefully.

‘Yes.’ She opened the car door. ‘I will.’

‘I’m not sure you should go back to Dublin now,’ said Paddy. ‘Not by yourself. It’s a long drive, it’s late and you’re tired.’

‘Not that tired,’ she told him.

‘All the same ...’

‘I’m going home, Paddy,’ she said.

‘You could come to Atlantic View,’ he suggested. ‘You could chill out and stay there . . . there are lots of guest rooms, as you know. I’m not trying to get you into bed with me or anything.’

‘I don’t know whether I should feel flattered or disappointed by that,’ she said, a sudden hint of amusement in her voice.

‘Please don’t drive to Dublin now,’ said Paddy. ‘I’ll worry about you.’

‘There’s no need,’ she said. ‘I’ll drive carefully. I’ll be fine.’

‘Take my car,’ said Paddy. ‘If you’re going to drive to Dublin at this hour, please drive in something comfortable.’

‘My Fiesta is comfortable and I’m used to it,’ she said. ‘I don’t want your car, Paddy.’

‘Call me,’ he said. ‘When you get home. Just to let me know you’re all right.’

‘OK.’

She kissed him lightly on the cheek. He caught her hand for a second and then released it again. She got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

‘Domino . . .’

She hesitated, her hand resting on the gear lever as she looked up at him.

‘Take care,’ said Paddy gently. ‘Drive safely. Call me.’

‘Of course.’

He waved as she turned out of the car park and on to the Dublin road. When she reached the outskirts of the city, she pulled in and sent Brendan a text message. Then she moved off into the traffic again.

She turned on the car radio. She switched it from the talk radio that Brendan had tuned into on the way down to her favourite easy-listening station, and allowed the mellow music to wash over her. She felt herself relax as the car ate up the miles back to Dublin.

It was nearly an hour later before her phone rang. She was tempted to answer, because it was Brendan’s ringtone, but there was no hands-free in the Fiesta, so she left it alone. A couple of minutes later there was a beep to tell her she had a voice message. It had taken him a long time, she thought, to read the text she’d sent him.

It was past two by the time she pulled up outside her house in Fairview. It was strange, she thought, that she felt such a sense of security as she closed the door behind her. But she did. Absolutely.

She sat down on the sofa and checked her voicemail.

‘What the hell is all this about?’ demanded Brendan. ‘What d’you mean, you need to be by yourself? What have I done now? I thought we had an agreement about tonight. About later. And I wanted you to meet someone too. He works in construction. Weathered the downturn pretty well. Some very interesting opportunities. His wife is on the board of governors of a primary school - right down your alley. You need to meet these people, Domino. They could be good for me.’

But not me, she thought, as she deleted the message from her mailbox. Not good for me. Not any more.

There were three more messages from him, each increasingly irate, each asking her what the problem was, why she had left him at the hotel. One of them asked how he was meant to get back to Dublin. She had the bloody car, he said. The bloody Fiesta.

She deleted each of the messages in turn and then sat in the darkness of the living room.

She wasn’t sure if she’d told Paddy the truth when she’d said that she still loved Brendan. She would always care about him. He had been there for her when she needed him most in her life. But she’d been there for him too, when he needed her. She’d repaid him. But now they didn’t need each other any more. What she felt for Brendan - the affection and the gratitude - wasn’t enough to keep them together. Maybe, she told herself, it had never truly been enough. Maybe it was circumstances rather than love that had seen them last so long as a married couple, and the change in those circumstances had changed how she felt for ever.

She wondered how much he loved her. He’d said it many times since he’d come back, but the truth was, she couldn’t help feeling that it didn’t matter how terrible things had been for him, that if they’d loved each other as equals, he would never have left. Or he would have contacted her after he’d gone away. But he hadn’t. He’d left her and Kelly to worry and wonder, and then, when he’d come back, he’d wanted everything to be the same as it was before. Only it couldn’t be. Because she’d changed. She hadn’t realised just how much until tonight.

She knew that she didn’t want to make love to Brendan or kiss him or rest her head on his shoulder in the evenings as she’d once done. She knew she didn’t depend on him for comfort or security. She’d forgiven him, but she didn’t want to be with him. And so what was the point in staying? Yes, she decided, she had told Paddy the truth. She didn’t love Brendan enough any more.

And really she’d known that from the moment he’d first walked through the door on the night of the divorce party. Despite her fury at him, she’d wanted to support him in the way he’d supported her. She’d wanted him to know that she hadn’t abandoned him, that she wasn’t standing in judgement over him as so many people had done. She’d wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone.

But he was OK now. He had his job and his money and he was in Cork working the room like he always had. She knew that he’d be fine. In a couple of years he’d have another woman on his arm, probably a younger, prettier model who’d become a Dazzling Delahaye alongside him. Dominique didn’t care. She had her own life now, and it wasn’t as glamorous and it wasn’t as exciting, but it was hers to do with as she wanted.

Her phone buzzed. Brendan had sent another message.

Stop being so silly
, she read.

She wasn’t being silly. She knew that. She said so in her reply to him.

Then she phoned Paddy O’Brien.

He answered straight away, despite the lateness of the hour.

‘You’re home OK?’ he said.

‘Of course.’

‘I was silly to have worried,’ said Paddy.

‘I’m glad you did,’ Dominique told him. ‘It’s nice to know that you worry about me.’

‘Dominique?’

‘Yes.’

‘That was a brave thing you did tonight.’

‘Not really,’ she said. ‘Brave was getting on with it after he left. Tonight was just about realising what was important to me.’

‘And you know what’s important now?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘You’re important to me,’ said Paddy, after a brief pause.

She smiled in the darkness. ‘And you’re important to me too,’ she said.

She heard him chuckle at the other end of the phone, and she smiled again.

‘I’ll call you before I come up to Dublin,’ he told her. ‘Which will be very, very soon.’

‘Great,’ she said. ‘I look forward to that. I really do.’

She powered her phone off and went upstairs. She stood alone in the bedroom, leaning out of the open window as she listened to the sounds of the city.

When she’d first returned to Dublin, she’d hated all the noise. The muted hum of the cars, the sirens of the emergency vehicles and the occasional drone of a distant alarm had kept her awake every night. And as she’d lain in bed, she’d felt desperately alone. She’d cried for everything she’d once had. Cried for the person she used to be.

Now she was used to those sounds. She liked them. They were part of what her new life was. And they never made her feel alone.

She put the window on the catch and got into bed. She’d expected to toss and turn for a while, certain that the jumble of thoughts and hopes and dreams in her head would keep her awake. But she fell asleep almost instantly. Which, she thought as the alarm went off just four hours later, was a good thing.

Because she didn’t want to look a total wreck at work on the first day of her new life.

She wanted to be dazzling.