Q shrugged. "A minor detail. Captain, I must admit I do not understand this sudden grilling.
You did, after all, give me your imperial permission to attend the festivities." "But not," said Picard firmly, "to fraternize with guests." Q's eyes narrowed. "Sooooo... that's it, is it? This is about Lwaxana Troi." "It's not about her in specific, but rather--" "You don't lie especially well, Jean-Luc," Q informed him. "Depending upon your point of view, that could be either a benefit or a weakness. You are concerned," and he seemed most amused, "because I find Lwaxana Troi intriguing." "Intriguing?" said Picard incredulously.
"Even captivating, for one of the humanoid species." "Now I know something is going on," said Riker.
"Really?" Q looked amused. "I'll tell you what, Riker. If you have the nerve to go and tell Lwaxana Troi that she is incapable of being intriguing and captivating to someone, then I will never speak to her again. Well?" He made shooing gestures towards the door. "I'm waiting, Riker. You go off and tell her that. We'll wait here for the call from sickbay, where they'll be picking up the pieces that she leaves of you." "I don't find this amusing at all," said Riker.
"We'll add it to the lengthy list of things you don't find amusing," said Q. "Your problem, Riker, is that you lack perspective. It's a common enough trait among humans. Only your greatest minds and philosophers are capable of realizing just what a pathetic little species you are.
And yet you constantly boast to me of your superb nature. Let's see some of that famous humanity at work, eh? The love for your fellow man." "You're not our fellow man," Worf informed him.
"No, I'm not," said Q, "and I am tiring of this persecution. I have been straightforward in all my discussions with you. I did not have to be.
Fellow man, eh? I could have done this--" There was a sudden rippling of the air in front of them, and in Q's place were the form and features of an absolutely stunning blond woman. Riker arched an eyebrow in amazement. Even Data seemed impressed. She was wearing a dress cut low at the top and high at the hem. When she spoke, the room temperature increased by about ten degrees.
"What do you think?" she asked in a low, silky voice.
She was stunning in a way that surpassed earthly beauty, and Picard momentarily found himself at a loss for words.
She slid across the table, revealing a generous expanse of tanned thigh, and hovered only a few millimeters from Picard. "I could have come aboard like this, Jean-Luc. I could have made myself irresistible to you. Seduced you, if I'd had a mind to. After all, the form I've chosen is purely an arbitrary one. Can you imagine, Picard, if you'd woken up the next morning, after a night of passion, rolled over in bed..." And there was a sudden flash, and Q was back in his more familiar form. "... and seen me lying next to you?" he finished in an amused male voice.
"It would have been meaningless to me--I transcend your paltry notions of gender. But what would it have done to you, I wonder?" Picard looked positively ashen, but nevertheless he kept his composure. "Are you saying I should be grateful because you chose to avoid deceit?" "Precisely." "Lack of deceit is common courtesy. Not something to be applauded in and of itself." Q shrugged. "I would like to take my triumphs where I can find them. Now, if there's nothing else..." "Why Mrs. Troi?" demanded Riker. "If you're so above primitive concepts of gender, why are you displaying such interest in her?" "I find her mind most intriguing," said Q.
"And I'll tell you something more, gentlemen. I doubt if I would have given her overt attention beyond our casual meeting and discussion. But now that you've raised such a ruckus over it, well, she must be something truly special. You've piqued my curiosity, Jean-Luc. Prompted me to further investigate this woman. Thank you for taking such pains to draw her to my attention." He nodded his head slightly and vanished.
They looked at each other.
"Great," said Riker.
"Little One, I appreciate your concern--" "No, mother. I don't think you appreciate it at all," said Deanna, her arms folded. "I don't think you realize the purpose of it. Your judgment is clouded..." "My judgment is as sharp as it ever was," said Lwaxana, "and frankly, my dear, I'm becoming a little tired of being lectured to, if you catch my drift." "You're tired of it!" said Deanna incredulously. "I've spent my entire life being lectured by you, and you cannot sustain five minutes from me? Five minutes discussing a subject that I can assure you I know more about, namely Q." "Oh, really," said Lwaxana frostily.
"Yes, really. I'll say it again, mother--you have no idea what you're becoming involved with. Do you know what always follows Q?" "R?" "Mother!" "I'm sorry. Should I have said U? But there are some words that end with Q, you see, so technically--" "I was going to say that trouble always follows him.
He's brought us into some of the greatest dangers that we've ever faced." "They couldn't have been too great. You're still here. You worked your way out of them?" "Well... no, actually," admitted Deanna. "Q usually saved us." "Now there's a stinging indictment." "It's not that simple." "Nothing simple is ever simple," replied Lwaxana. "The reason that I lecture you, Deanna, is because I know best." "Not about Q." "You don't exactly sound unbiased," Lwaxana informed her. "To be specific, you seem long on bias and short on experience." "He's not the man for you!" "And you base this on what? Your successful love life?" Deanna's face fell. "That was a cheap shot, mother." "The truth hurts, Little One." "That's why you don't want to see it." "Very well," said Lwaxana, drawing herself up. She stood and faced her daughter with quiet authority. "I'll tell you what I see. I see someone lecturing me on my love life when she hasn't been able to get her own sorted out.
Someone who has not been able to put together one permanent relationship. Perhaps, Little One, you might want to consider getting your own house in order before you start rearranging the furniture in mine." She turned away from her daughter.
"I'll have you know that Q and I--"Q and I," what a charming way to put it--had a bit of a tiff earlier. He was coming off a bit too high-handed for my taste. But I'll tell you right now, that seems minor compared to the way you've been presenting yourself." Lwaxana glanced down at the fruitbowl and her eyebrows arched in surprise. There was a nectarine sitting there. It definitely hadn't been there before. She picked it up and stared at it.
"He's a fascinating individual," said Lwaxana. "There are depths to him waiting to be explored. If he's everything you say he is, why, I might be doing a service to the cause of humanity by exploring a relationship with him." "He doesn't know how to become romantically involved!" Deanna tried to explain. "He's not human!" "Really? Then I would be his first. That's unusual to find at my age." Deanna moaned and sank into a chair.
Lwaxana turned and looked at her, not without compassion. "Little One," she sighed, and ran her fingers through Deanna's hair. "I understand what you're going through. But I can take care of myself, I assure you." "Mother--" Deanna looked up at her, making one final effort to get through to her. "Mother, he thinks of us as insects." "I doubt that," said Lwaxana. "But even if that's the case, well... he's never met a queen bee before."
Chapter Eleven
Kerin and Sehra stared in amazement at the glorious tropical forest that stretched out before them.
It seemed to go on and on, with caves and grottos carved in towering cliffsides. Far, far below them, a narrow river wended its way through, and the air was thick with mist.
Wesley Crusher stood next to them, his arms folded, smiling at their wonderment. So many of the miracles aboard the Enterprise were taken for granted, that it helped Wesley feel greater appreciation for them when he ran those miracles through their paces for the benefit of visitors.
"It's... it's like a planet that's new," breathed Sehra.
Wesley nodded. "It's based on an actual place--well, a place that isn't there anymore--called the Genesis Planet." "Why isn't it there anymore?" asked Kerin.
He thought he saw something moving far in the underbrush.
"Kind of complicated," Wesley said.
"I'll tell you later. So, do you think you might want to hold your wedding in some place like this?" "It's magnificent," said Sehra. "But..." Both of the young men turned to her. "But?" said Kerin.
"Mother will say it's too damp." Kerin made an impatient gesture.
"Sehra, there's been some problem with the last four environments that Wesley's shown us. And every time, you've said that it's something your mother isn't going to like!
Don't you have any opinions of your own?" She looked at him, surprised. "Of... of course I do, Kerin! But I want to make everybody happy." "Just worry about making yourself happy," he told her. "That's what's important here.
What would make you happy?" "What would make me happy is making everyone else happy." "Sehra!" "Don't shout at me," she snapped. "I don't have to stand here and be shouted at." "Look," Wesley said quickly, "I can always find someplace else. The computer has more environments than you can--" "This is fine," said Kerin.
"This is not fine," Sehra shot back.
They were facing each other, fuming. Wesley was starting to get nervous. He'd been given a simple assignment by the captain: Bring the bride and groom down to the holodeck and let them choose the world they would most like for their wedding. If the entire thing degenerated into an argument, how in the world was that going to make Wesley look to the captain?
"Look, guys," said Wesley slowly.
"I'm the same age as you two are, and I can tell you that if I were taking the same big step you are--marriage and all--I'd be a nervous wreck right now. And I'd probably be arguing about all sorts of incidental things--like holodeck backgrounds, for example--rather than bringing up what was really on my mind. Namely, that I was scared and that I'd want to know that my fianc`e was there for me, to provide support." They stared at him.
"Or not," finished Wesley, weakly.
They looked back at each other, and then Sehra sighed. "I'm sorry, Kerin." "No, I am," he said so fast that he almost overlapped her. "You're trying to be considerate and everything, and I'm just being difficult." "Really, you're right. I should be thinking about what's right for us, not what's right for my mother." "Whatever you think is best." "Whatever you think." They went back and forth like that for a minute, and Wesley patiently waited it out. Finally Sehra turned and looked back out at the Genesis Planet. "This really is beautiful," she said. "If only the humidity..." Kerin sighed loudly.
"Look, this isn't a problem," said Wesley. "I can adjust the climate however you want." "Well, you should have said that immediately!" Sehra exclaimed.
"I didn't think the climate was your biggest problem," said Wes. "As I said, I thought you guys mostly had a case of pre-wedding jitters." Kerin looked at Wesley thoughtfully. "Have you ever been married, Wesley?" "What? Oh, no!" laughed Wes, although it was an uncomfortable laugh.
"Do you have a special girl?" "No one special," admitted Wes.
Kerin tilted his head slightly. "Have you ever had sex?" Wes cleared his throat loudly and said, "If you guys are settled on this, then I really have to get back up to the bridge." "And I must be getting back home," said Sehra, with a sigh. "Mother is having yet another fitting for my dress. So much to do, so many preparations to make." Kerin took her hands in his and smiled. "I know how it is. Your mother can be quite a handful, I guess. Wesley--do you mind if I stay here awhile?" Wes frowned and shifted his weight on his feet. "I'm not sure if I should--" "The captain said we should feel at home," Kerin said. "I've just never had an opportunity to explore something like this before. This is just so remarkable, I hate to leave so soon." Wesley looked out over the scene and smiled inwardly. He remembered how exciting it had been for him the first time he had explored the parameters and possibilities of the holodeck.
"Well... I guess it wouldn't be a problem.
Look; all you have to do is remember this: If you get into any sort of problem, all you have to do is ask the computer to help you out. For example, if you say," and Wesley raised his voice slightly, "Computer... Door!" Ten feet to their right, a waterfall parted and the gleaming exit from the holodeck was revealed.
Sehra and Kerin gasped in amazement. The illusion of the holodeck was so perfect that it was always amazing to have the hard edge of reality jolt you.
"And if you really have problems, just instruct the computer to end the program. You'll be fine," Wesley said, as much to assure himself as to assure Kerin.
Wesley and Sehra walked through the door, which obediently hissed open and then closed. An instant later, it vanished. Kerin shook his head.
Even though he now knew precisely where the door was, the illusion was still so compelling that his mind was completely fooled.
He climbed down slowly over the cliffside, hand over hand, exercising extreme caution. He knew that it was all an illusion, and yet he could not tell himself that it was anything except a huge drop should he lose his grip.
