Star Woman in Love (23 page)

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Tara, Spring Equinox 1997

“Promise me something, Oscar.”

You stopped eating your sandwich and looked at me.

“Anything, darling.”

The day was overcast and dull. Spring was still just a concept. But we had magical Work to accomplish at the sacred site on that important ritual junction. So we had set out for our picnic on the hill.

“If we were ever to part,” I said, “or we got lost on our paths, we must still come back here to meet again on the Spring Equinox in 2012. Promise that you’ll keep this appointment, no matter what...”

“Don’t be silly, Cassie! We’ll never part!”

“Just in case, Oscar, just in case...”

“Okay then, I promise...”

A sound of thunder shook the sky and the heavens broke open as soon as you finished your sentence. We ran for shelter under the nearest tree, where we waited for the sudden vicious rainstorm to subside.

______________

Dublin, summer 1998

The rice was on the stove. Cassandra poured herself a cup of coffee and wondered whether she would be eating on her own again today, or if Oscar would care to join her. He was still fast asleep in his studio’s bed. In his dream, he was roaming the streets of a city which looked like Dublin. But its perspective was all over the place. It was more like a surrealist painting. The colours were vivid, like those peyote-fuelled, shamanic visions he had in his twenties, and which had inspired much of his early artwork. Cassandra walked beside him in the dream, holding his hand. She wore a flowing white robe and was blindfolded. Her presence was almost ghostly: one moment he could touch her and see her, the next she had disappeared.

Looking to find her, he saw that the city itself was disappearing. The environment was blotted out by a darkness which had spread across it like an oil stain. He was lost and had no option but to remind himself that he was dreaming. Accomplished as he was in shamanic dream-work, it took him a few seconds to transport himself into another dream.

This time the scenery was apocalyptic and desolate. A long empty road stretched ahead of him. There was a large city in the distance. As he approached its gate, it looked as if its buildings were reduced to shells by an explosion. He was alone in this world, and one of the few survivors. He would have to find someone and rebuild everything. The temperature was scorching and he felt sweaty and uncomfortable. He looked up to the sky. Two suns were shining above him. The sight was mesmerising and calming.

He woke up suddenly and reached for his diary. We zoomed in to see the details of his entry. He described and analysed the events and objects in the dream. The symbols were clear to him: the two suns represented the Light shone by the male and female aspects of his psyche. When he had let go of the outer female aspect represented by Cassandra’s indistinct presence in the dream, he felt lost. Despite his insecurities, he embraced his new condition and continued on his way along the path. Then he reached the debris of the city, which signified his now-defunct old thought-system. The Light of both his own inner suns - the animus and the anima - had made him wake up. He was satisfied with his analysis and went back to sleep.

We wished we could warn Cassandra that it was time for Oscar to go solo. That was the gist of the dream he had interpreted so accurately. For all her knowledge and intuition, she didn’t see it coming. To her, the kind of love she shared with Oscar was forever. She had forgotten about one of the main dynamics in Twin Flame relationships: once you have learnt to gaze at your Soul’s reflection in your lover’s eyes, you have to find the Seat of your Soul in yourself. She and Oscar had to do just that.

Oscar didn’t believe he was capable of the amount of love Cassandra could detect in him. That darkest wound still inhabited his soul. He needed out. He wanted these unhappy thoughts and dreams to stop. They were difficult and he was tired. All was very well when Cassandra was around. But it wasn’t healthy for him to need her as he did. His memories had started to torment him. It was Cassandra who wanted him to think of his memories; she had advised him to journal every single message that emerged from his subconscious. He had insisted that there was nothing else to discover and all of his past had surfaced; and he was healed, her love had healed him. She was his magic woman and he was reborn.

It was a lie. The deep wound was still there, deep in his heart, rattling its chains like a ghost. Soon he would be bound to the might of this great hurt, and forced to follow its crazy directions into the Dark Side. Nobody yet knew what would transpire. In Shambhala, Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus kept the next chapter in the Twins’ life under wrap. It was a test, they said. It was going to be a test for us too.

* * * *

“Morning darling.”

“Cassandra, what’s the time?”

“It’s noon. You’ve been out for twelve hours flat. You must have been very tired.”

“Yep. Plenty of dream-work. Guess I’ll paint a lot in the next couple of days.”

You were naked when you walked into the kitchen. I looked at you from the living room sofa. You still held my heart just like the day we had first made love.

“Good morning,” my heart said to yours.

“Goodbye,” your heart said in reply.   

We’d been a couple for almost five years. My growth into my stellar self had coincided with a decline in your psychological and physical wellbeing. As the memories of your past hurt re-emerged, your health seemed to deteriorate. I didn’t want to notice it at first, but your heart had started failing you. In due course, your swinging moods would drive a wedge between us.

I was busy learning - well, remembering - my powers, putting them together like the missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I was absorbed by my mission and had little time left for your concerns that belonged at a lower level of vibration. It’s not that I didn’t want to help you, but I was programmed to do other things. You would resent that forever. Yet, regardless of the distance that we both sometimes put between each other, I still loved you and I was certain of your love for me, despite the difficulties it brought.

Having merged in Sacred Marriage, the two of us could read each other’s feelings. I experienced your emotions as if they were my own. I learned to let them run through my mind and body without trying to seize them, without letting them manifest. The same didn’t apply to you. Anger and self-hatred clung to your head, spreading their roots deep into the seat of your emotions. Your heart was turning blacker by the day, as if a cancer was growing in there, but you would have to deal with your past alone.

The Plan was now calling me to teach the ways of evolution and transformation across the world. In July 1996 I had had my first long-lasting experience of Enlightenment and Unity Consciousness. It was the sign I’d been waiting for. During a meditation, all of my energy centres had aligned. The Light had filtered and circulated freely inside my body. My senses had merged into a wide, all-embracing sensation. I had experienced reality as if I were connected to everything and everyone. My body had felt almost weightless as its cells vibrated at a frequency that allowed even more Light to enter my vessel. My 12-strand DNA activation was complete and I could now process reality from a fourth-dimensional perspective. It meant that I could control my body and its functions through my mind, like a pilot at the controls of an airplane.

The experience was fantastic in itself. I could hear people’s thoughts as if they were speaking directly to me. I was able to converse with other creatures, be they plant, mineral or animal. At will, I could move from an expanded sense of self, whereby I was an immense, all-embracing being, to experiencing life as Cassandra again, with all of my issues, challenges and pet loves as a woman. I had come of age. Now my true life could unfold. Everything before that day was mere dress rehearsal.

Since that experience of peak Enlightenment, my intelligence had expanded. I could channel information directly from the Source of Creation and converse telepathically with the Masters in Shambhala. In my enthusiastic early days as a human angel, I spent most of my time working at explaining the joys of transformation in a sufficiently appealing manner for the planet at large to understand. I could no longer see others as being separate from me.

I opened the first Transformation Centre in Dublin’s Temple Bar in May 1997. It aimed to provide a practical curriculum for those who felt inclined towards evolutionary experiences, and help to counteract so-called transformation side effects. Enlightenment and the ‘reawakening’ of the third eye could potentially have physical consequences for those who underwent the experience. If misinterpreted, these consequences could be taken as illnesses. In truth, they are nothing more than a malfunctioning in the thinking processes. The species is called homo sapiens sapiens – ‘man knowing he is knowing’ – after all. But many humans are no more than zombies whose beliefs are instilled from the outside. Critical thinking is the privilege of few. The time was then right to start opening people’s eyes, and their third eye, to the real world.

With the help of like-minded Mysteries adepts, during the following twelve months, I developed a network of Transformation Centres in many capitals, to help people evolve into perfected Beings. The Secret Knowledge of ages could now be revealed. Friends of the Godhead Society came over from Edinburgh, Brighton and Pasadena to help out with the project. We enlisted a number of shamans and magic women and men who brought the wisdom of ancient cultures. Many old and new friends got involved. Letizia and Polly were among the first to lend a hand with the administrative and legal work. Your brother Conor was one of the most talented workshop facilitators I’d ever worked with. Gwen was in charge of Transforming Art. Sam enjoyed developing mathematical models of the evolutionary process. Another important collaborator was the British pop star, Matt Norman, whom I had met at a fundraiser for the Transformation Movement, and who had ended up contributing his sound-healing skills to the Centres.

Together we were working at developing a Unified Theory of Quantum Leap Evolution. Under the vigilant eye of devoted facilitators in our centres around the world, many trainees could now start to expand their powers. The time was ripe for humankind to embrace the teachings we were ready to introduce: the Movement was a hit. I became a spiritual celebrity, and more and more absorbed in my work. To my shame, I somehow lost interest in your blockages and your silent pleas for help. I didn’t for one second stop loving you. But my priorities were now different: the world needed me, and I couldn’t resist its call.

By 1998, the Transformation Movement had become an established international organisation. We were no longer operating solely at grass-roots level. Now we had enough evidence and strength to believe in ourselves and our message. Evolution in a species happens slowly at the start, until it reaches a critical mass, when then learnings and habits start to spread in a domino dance. We opened our biggest centre in New York in May of that year. Many celebrities funded our projects and were themselves our testimonials. Our motto,
Merge and Emerge
, which was sculpted on the archway above the entrance of our first centre in Dublin, was now plastered all over the world. Unlike many holistic establishments whose work was valuable but not sufficiently incisive, we were the ‘real deal’. We had schools of magic where people could give birth to their upgraded bodies, capable of miraculous feats: telepathy, healing and self-healing, teleportation, levitation, transmutation and manifestation. There were no obstacles to the growth of the Movement, nothing was hampering our progress in any way.

Luck was definitely smiling upon us. That year, I met Lady Honour Pinkleton, a good friend of your late grandfather and an appreciator of all things esoteric. She died a couple of months after our encounter, but not before changing her testament and leaving her estate, including Pinkleton Castle near Wexford, to our Movement. We held our most advanced sessions there, and taught people sacred meditation, breathing techniques to reach altered states of consciousness, and levitation, the initial phases of the bodily developments that are a preamble to the deeper changes at the DNA level. You didn’t want to participate. You’d learned all of these techniques in the first year of our love anyway. I resented your lack of support but I didn’t let it dampen my spirits: my frequency was now too high for that.

I was no longer responding to life as an individual, but as a functioning part of the Masters’ Plan. The Masters themselves played a great role in the Movement’s early days. Sam learned how to channel their thoughts and developed a rudimentary system to pick up signals from the fifth dimension and Shambhala. By the end of the summer of 1998, we were having our first ethereal videoconferences with the White Lodge. Much of the Ascension Technology we used at the Centre came straight from the Masters. My life revolved around my spiritual work. I chose to stop listening to your heart: I no longer liked what it said to me.

* * * *

Oslo, October 1998

Towards the end of that year, The Masters asked me to give a talk at an important Metaphysical Conference that was to be held in Oslo, Norway. The most illustrious religious, scientific and philosophical personalities were going to be in attendance. The occasion would provide the perfect showcase for the Transformation Manifesto I had by then finalised, and a platform for the strength for my powers to reach out across the world. My guides would help me provide the Conference participants with a direct, mass experience of Unity Consciousness.