Starbright (5 page)

Aidan ducked his head, his hair falling across his forehead as he sought her timid gaze. “Tell me the truth.”

“I’m scared. I trust you completely, but I’m so new at this.” Beth shook her head, embarrassed by her inexperience and angry with herself for not being more confident.

Aidan settled next to her on the bed and helped her into a sitting position. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to do this if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry.” Beth squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want you to think I lured you in here with the intention of being a tease. I want to do this. I really do.” She peered at him imploringly. “I can do better. I’ll try harder to please you, I promise.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize. As for pleasing me…” His eyes softened considerably. “Beth, you please me simply by allowing me to be in your company.”

She hung her head. “I shouldn’t let my nerves get the best of me. I’m an adult, we’re in a relationship… this is what couples do.”

“We can go back into the living room and watch television, or we can talk. Really, it’s cool.” Aidan’s lips lifted into a smirk that also lifted the somber mood in the room. “Couples do that kind of thing, too, you know.”

“I want to continue kissing you, but maybe we could, um…” She was unsure of how to speak her mind without sounding obtuse. It was a situation similar to the one she shared with him in his car at the end of their date in New York. She was disappointed she hadn’t come further since then.

Aidan slid off the mattress and extended his hand, as though he’d read her mind. Beth rose to her feet and he guided her away from the bed. The tension eased from her body with every step.

“Is this better?” He brushed a gentle hand to her hair.

Beth shivered from his pleasant touch. “Yes, thank you.”

Aidan leaned in, his gaze searching hers, as if asking for permission. Beth closed her eyes and submitted to him willingly. He pulled her into his strong arms and brought his lips to hers, his pace patient yet passionate. The moan she released was against the rules of civility she was schooled in as a youth, but so necessary and gratifying.

They started off slow, but as Beth tugged at his sweater in the back, digging her fingers into the taut flesh beneath, she found herself kissing him more desperately. He pursued her lead.

With her need devouring her rational thoughts, Beth backed up against her dresser and widened her stance, bringing Aidan with her. He stopped kissing her. She opened her eyes to determine why.

The desire that flamed in his gaze mirrored hers. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yes,” she said in a breathy whisper.

Aidan groaned and kissed her again. The movements of their lips grew more forceful and urgent, which Beth appreciated and used to her advantage. Her body moved by its own volition against him, her hips rolling, seeking more of the friction her actions generated.

The sounds Aidan made were unlike anything she’d ever heard from him before. His lips drifted to her ear, his warm, heavy breaths giving her goose bumps.

“I want to make you feel good.” He threaded his hands into her hair and matched her movements, rocking her gently against the dresser.

Beth gasped. “You do, Aidan. Only you.”

Aidan placed his hands on her hips as she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. That was when she felt his arousal again. It pressed between her legs in that perfect spot, in the most perfect way, escalating her desire and shredding the apprehension she felt with him on the bed as if it was made of tissue paper.

Beth lifted one leg and hooked it around his hip, curious as to where else they could take this. Aidan grunted and grabbed her thigh, rustling her dress as he hitched her leg higher and wrapped his other hand around her waist to pull her closer. She bucked her hips against him, feeling him hard and thick under his pants and pushing where she wanted him most.

Aidan dropped his head to her shoulder.

“Oh, fuc… aaahh, Beth…” He tightened his grip on her thigh and ground against her again.

The sensation that rippled throughout Beth’s body made her tremble, and the foot that remained on the floor struggled to keep her upright. She clutched Aidan’s sweater, desperate not to break the contact between them. The expression on his face was a concoction of pleasure and pain as she moved her hips against him again. Then his entire demeanor shifted.

“No!” With a low growl, Aidan pushed away from her, releasing his hand from her thigh and driving it into his hair.

Beth’s foot dropped to the floor. She shot her hands out behind her and caught the vanity to keep from falling over. The throbbing between her legs dominated all of her thoughts, making comprehension impossible.

“We have to stop.” Aidan’s chest heaved with his throaty proclamation. He took another step back, increasing the gap between them at a time when Beth wanted him closer than ever.

The distance provided space for reality and sanity to enter. Her hand flew to her mouth. What had she done? She grew up with the understanding that such things occurred between a husband and wife only. She was becoming more liberal regarding intimacy before marriage, and with Aidan’s help, realized her desires for him were normal and nothing to be ashamed about, but this was still much too big a step for her to take at the moment.

Beth let go of the vanity carefully and corrected her stance. Aidan paced before her with long, impatient strides and raked his hands through his hair, his lips pressed together in a firm line.

Beth straightened her dress, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Aidan, I—I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Aidan stopped walking, still breathing heavily. “Please don’t misunderstand my actions.” Torment battled the longing in his eyes. “I want you. I’ve never wanted anyone more in my entire life, and I didn’t want to stop.” He closed his eyes momentarily, a groan escaping his lips. “Damn it, you have no idea how much I didn’t want to stop. But if I didn’t, then we’d be back on your bed, and right now, that’s not where we should be. You’re not ready, you made that clear earlier, and as the man in the relationship, it’s my responsibility to do what’s best for you, to take care of you.” He took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips for a kiss. “I don’t want you to get caught up in the moment and do something you’ll regret later.”

“Thank you, Aidan.” Beth’s blush deepened with the recollection of her actions. “I’m sorry for pushing you and forcing you to be the one to make this decision.”

“Trust me, baby, I’m not sorry about what happened. It felt amazing.
You
feel amazing. But that’s the problem. It felt too amazing and I lost control, especially after you did that… that
thing
with your leg.” He shook his head, as if he was trying to rid himself of the memory, though his expression told her it wasn’t because he didn’t like what she’d done.

“I’m grateful you had the strength to be the responsible one,” she said.

“It wasn’t easy, believe me.” Aidan thrust his hands into his hair again. “Just give me a moment to calm down, okay?” He closed his eyes and exhaled a cavernous breath.

“Calm down?” Beth’s eyes traveled across his face, down his chest and stomach to his—

Her breath hitched.

He was still erect.

Now that she could actually see the outline of him under his pants, she had confirmation of what she’d assumed earlier: He was very well endowed. From what Connie told her, a well-endowed
man was a
very
good thing.

“This is what you do to me,” Aidan said softly. “I don’t even have to touch you. Just the thought or sight of you arouses me.”

Beth averted her gaze, embarrassed that he’d caught her staring at him. The thing that surprised her was he didn’t look the least bit ruffled by it. She knew then he was right for stopping them when he did. If she couldn’t even look at his erection concealed by his pants without blushing, then she was not ready to go beyond kissing with him.

Beth gave Aidan his requested moment to calm down and used the time to settle her own emotions. How, in one instant, could she feel hesitant about intimacy, and the next, act like a physically starved woman who’d push the boundaries and act so differently from her usual character?

After a minute or so, Aidan pulled her close and tucked her against his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head. The pleasurable way her body responded immediately to him told her that such a transformation wasn’t as farfetched as she had assumed.

Beth jumped out of Aidan’s arms when she heard the front door slam shut.

“Gee, tonight was fun!” Olivia’s loud pronunciation was abnormally slow and deliberate. “I think I’ll go to sleep now—in my bedroom—which is right next to Beth’s bedroom.” The volume of her voice increased. “Therefore, I must walk past her room to get to mine!”

Beth giggled at Olivia’s dramatics. She was grateful, though, that her friend was courteous enough to let them know she was back instead of returning unannounced and catching them in a compromising position.

“Liv, it’s all right,” Beth called. “You can come in. Aidan and I are just talking.”

Olivia poked her head around the corner, her hand covering her eyes. She separated her forefinger and middle finger and peered at them through the crack.

“Oh, good. You’re decent!” With a smile, she dropped her hand and stepped out into full view.

Beth laughed. “Liv, I told you, Aidan and I were just—”

“Yes, I know, talking.” Olivia gave a casual gesture of her hand. “But tell me something, Beth, since when does your hair tangle, your lips puff up, and your shoes fall off from just talking?”

Beth looked down at her stocking feet. Her cheeks flamed for the umpteenth time this evening.

A knowing smirk played across Olivia’s face. “That must’ve been some conversation.”

Aidan placed his hand to the small of Beth’s back and chuckled. “She’s got you there, baby.”

Olivia wiggled her fingers in a playful wave. “Good night, you two.”

She skipped off to her bedroom.

Beth suppressed a groan. She would have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow.

Aidan’s hand traveled up her back to her shoulder, where he gave an affectionate squeeze. “I should get going.”

“Right now?”

He regarded her apologetically. “I don’t want to, but I also don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.”

Beth noted the late hour displayed on the bedside clock. Once again, he was being the responsible one. She had to start making the same effort.

She offered a compliant smile. “I’ll walk you out.”

After putting her shoes back on, she accompanied Aidan to the foyer.

“Let me escort you to your car, or motorcycle, whatever you drove here,” she said on her way to the closet to fetch her coat.

To her dismay, Aidan shook his head. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable not knowing if you made it back to your apartment safely.”

“You could call me when you got home, that way you’d know I’m all right.” Beth peered at him hopefully. She wanted to delay their separation as long as possible.

Aidan fixed her with a look that told her she wasn’t going to win this one.

“You should get to bed. You need your rest. Plus, if something happened to you in the time it took me to drive home…” His face darkened, indicating the silence that followed was occupied by a disturbing thought. When his eyes met hers again, they were soft and admiring. “Please say good-bye to me here, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Beth frowned. “Tomorrow I’m at the studio from six in the morning until at least ten at night. Mr. Mertz wants us to make up for the time we lost by having today off.”

Aidan’s jaw clenched. “You shouldn’t have to work such long hours. It’s not right.”

“I know, but having Thanksgiving fall on a Thursday every year means one full day less of filming.” Beth shrugged. “I’m just grateful I had today off so I could see you and spend time with our friends.”

The anger waned in Aidan’s expression, although he still didn’t seem to fully accept her justification. “How about Saturday?” he said, taking her into his arms. “I’m gonna ask Nate and Matt to help me with the move, that way I’ll have more time to spend with you.”

“Saturday sounds wonderful,” Beth replied. “Olivia wants to show me the house she spoke about over dinner, but otherwise I’m free.”

Aidan’s face alighted like the stars. “Perfect.”

When he pulled away and opened the door, Beth felt his absence all the way through her. She tried to quell the ache by reminding herself of their weekend plans.

Aidan stopped in the doorway and rested his forearm on the doorframe above his head. He leaned forward until she felt his warm breath on her face.

“Thank you for a wonderful evening.” He brushed his lips to hers, followed by her cheek.

“I’m going to miss you, Aidan. I—” Emotion came on quick and thick, pilfering her voice from her.

“Whether we’re together or apart, you’re always with me.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “Always.”

Beth felt his pulse under her touch as strongly as if she held his heart in her hand. At the fierce reminder that she wouldn’t be with him tonight when she laid down to sleep, went to work in the morning, or arrived home tomorrow night, she felt on the verge of tears. Now that they had reunited, she didn’t know how she’d managed without him.

Aidan dropped his arm from the doorframe to take her cheek in his hand. “Please don’t cry, baby.” He brought his lips to hers again. His agony over their impending separation was evident in the grimace that graced his face when he pulled back. With great resolve, he looked into her eyes. “We’ll get through it, okay? I promise we’ll see each other again soon.”

Beth nodded, unable to concur aloud.

After another lingering kiss, Aidan backed away from her and out of the apartment, breaking all physical contact between them. Beth’s heart remained warm with the memory of his touch. She would harbor it within her until she saw him again.

Aidan stopped in the hallway and stared at her, his hands resting in his pockets, his posture solemn.