Starfish Sisters (7 page)

Soon the steady breaths floated up from Kia's bed. I
knew she'd been lying awake. That's what liars do.

Quietly, I trod across the bungalow floor. For a little
while, I stood watching Kia's chest rise and fall. How
could she have done that? How could she have told the
others those things about my mother? She knew
nothing about me and my life.

I hated her. Perhaps now I hated her more than she
hated me.

You're not going to let her ruin the camp
. I'd lay in bed
telling myself while she'd blabbed to the others.
You're
not. You're not. You're not. You're here to surf. Here to get
picked for the Junior Team Training Camp. You're here to find
a way out.

Perched up on the toilet, my feet folded under me, I
began the second entry in my diary.

Saturday 6 January: Day two

The best eva free surf with Georgie and Megan. 8
turns I made on one wave – that's my record. But it
was small then. Once it pumped a bit more, the
paddling to get back out got harder and all my energy
was going into that.

But Jake was really nice about it. 'We're going to
do a lot of upper body strengthening in the gym, Miss
Micki.' He said that without me saying anything to him.
It's like he just watches you surf once and then he
gets straightaway what you need to work on.

I'm different to Ace, Georgie and Kia as I've
never had a coach before. I thought Ace ignored Jake
every time he opened his mouth but I wanted to write
down every word he said.

Georgie's surfing was awesome, especially when it
picked up. I was so pleased for her coz Jake fully
picked her to bits in the video session.

Megan cut herself and I got the wobbles with the
blood. All in all pretty embarrassing but Jake and
Megan were really sweet to me and Georgie did my
lunch roster.

I'm not sure how long I'd been staring before I realised
I'd stopped writing. The starfish tiles were stretching
and climbing the walls like giant anemones. But I'd
been seeing something different.

Mum was sitting on the couch and I was standing
there holding out my bottle to her. She'd forgotten to
give me my milk.

Mum took the bottle and went into the kitchen. I
followed, my Dorothy the Dinosaur blanket dragging
on the floor behind me.

'S'ere Micki.' She handed me my milk, staggering
back a bit as she closed the fridge door. 'Go t'sleep.'

Mum went back to the living room where the
sleeping bodies lay, their breath steady but so light, like
they were about to float away.

A packet of bread sat on top of the fridge. I was
hungry so I pushed a stool over, climbed up on it and
pulled the loaf to the floor.

Cheese sandwiches were my favourite. Probably
because they filled my tummy for the longest. I
searched the fridge for the cheese but I couldn't find
any. Mum's head was beginning to nod up and down
and I knew she'd get cross if I disturbed her again, so I
decided to ask Dad where the cheese was.

The memory got a bit fuzzy after that. I was only
three at the time. As I got older I began to fill in the
picture the way it probably happened, and now that's
how it was to me.

Dad was on the balcony. He wasn't really asleep but
he wasn't really awake either. I must've gone out there
and somehow leant on or squeezed between the part of
the railing that was loose.

It was me that fell off the balcony. The next morning
someone walking their dog found me lying on the
concrete. I broke my left wrist and got a compound
fracture of my left leg. It was my blood on the
driveway, not my mother's.

A few days later my mother did die in hospital, but
not from a fall. She died in the emergency department
after she overdosed on heroin. It was the third time
she'd taken too much and stopped breathing. Only this
time the doctors couldn't bring her back.

There was still a scar on my leg. It was tiny. It looked
like an old mozzie bite. Once I'd asked Reg if it was a
birthmark. I still remember what he said to me. He said
it was a little girl's mark that was there to remind me
that when the little girl became big, she would do
something wonderful with her life.

Tonight, I make a pledge. I promise that I am going
to make that training team camp. I swear that I am
going to work so hard on my surfing that one day I
will be the best in the whole world.

11.39 pm. Micki Elvich, 12 years, 352 days.

The cicadas blasted me with their song at 6.11 am. This
morning I was on brekkie duty for Georgie but as it was
Sunday, breakfast wasn't till 8.30 am and there were no
activities beforehand.

The early-morning air was still cool and my spring
wetsuit was down in the board shed. I took my cossie
from the line outside and snuck down to the beach in
my PJs. The other three could concentrate on their
beauty sleep.

The sun was rising. Sprinkles of light sparkled on the
water. It almost looked like the evening stars were
falling into the sea.

The waves were small, two foot at the most, but they
were thick and clean.

I waxed my board, careful not to rub hard over the
dings that'd been repaired. So why did Georgie, and
now Ace, want to get me a new board? Sure, it'd be
great. And it meant the money I'd already saved could
go towards a sealed wettie. That'd make winter heaps
easier. But I wasn't sure how I felt about being their
charity project.

'Hey.' Shyan sat on the sand next to me. 'Good to see
an early bird.'

'Yeah,' I said, and smiled. 'How beautiful is it?'

'This is the best part of the day,' Shyan said. 'So
peaceful.'

'Except for the cicadas,' I added. 'But they are a good
alarm clock.'

'So as the youngest grom at camp, what do you
think?' Shyan asked. 'Settling in okay?'

'I love it here,' I replied. 'That talk the nutritionist
gave us yesterday was so good. I was expecting it to be
a bit boring. But I learnt so much.'

'Good.' Shyan smiled. She had a big healthy set of
teeth. I hoped mine would look like hers one day. Not
yellow like Dad's. 'If I had to give anyone advice about
being here,' she said, 'I'd say listen and learn. There's
so much you can take away from here, Micki.'

I nodded.

'We'll start turning it up after today,' Shyan told me.
'Come Monday there'll be girl-to-girl contests, team
contests, strength training, lung fitness – do you think
you're ready?'

'Yep,' I said. 'Totally.'

'Good girl.' Shyan pulled my ponytail. 'All you girls
could have big futures. If you understand that now and
put the work in, it'll pay off. Trust me.'

'I'd love to be where Ace is by the time I'm sixteen,' I
said. 'I mean, being fully sponsored that is.'

'Just between you and me, Micki,' Shyan said softly,
'you could be a lot further than Ace by then. Don't get
lost in the distractions. You have to be self-sufficient
and focused to make it. Do you get what I'm saying?'

Shyan didn't know how much I got it.

The sun finished climbing into the sky as Shyan and I
paddled out across the ocean. It was so peaceful. Not
quiet – the ocean was never quiet. But we were the only
signs of human life, here in the vast blueness. It made
me feel so small.

'Have you ever seen a shark here?' I asked.

'I've seen an old grey nurse a couple of times.'

'Oh.'

'Not lately,' she said. 'The feed's better further up
the coast.'

'That's good,' I gulped.

'Yeah. It can eat them, not us.' Shyan looked behind
at the sweet set that was rolling in. 'Go on. That wave's
got your name on it.'

I survived breakfast duty. The girls were right about
Brian. He was super-ugly and super-bossy. Every time I
did anything he'd tell me I was doing it wrong. I didn't
know an orange couldn't be sliced with a bread knife. I
did now.

I helped myself to some fruit, muesli and natural
yoghurt. I preferred flavoured yoghurt, but the nutritionist
said natural was better as it contained less sugar.

'Micki,' Georgie waved. 'I saved you a seat.'

Ace and Georgie greeted me with a big smile and
'Hiiiii.'

Kia was over at another table, chatting to Megan
and Jake.

'Did you sleep well?' Ace asked me.

'Yes,' I nodded. 'I crashed the minute my head hit
the pillow.'

I was feeling totally self-conscious, but I swear I felt
Ace's knee tap Georgie's.

'Did Brian go ballistic in the kitchen?' Georgie said,
smirking.

'Yes. How strict is he?' I said. 'I had to measure out
the exact amount of muesli.'

'Don't worry.' Ace was checking her phone under
the table. 'We had to count out the exact number of
almonds for each person yesterday.'

'What's the surf like?' Georgie asked.

'Small, but pretty perfect,' I replied.

'Jake said there's a storm predicted for this afternoon,'
Ace announced. 'That'll bring up the groundswell.
He reckons it could get big for a while.'

My heart jumped a bit. Coolina could get big – that
was part of its reputation – and the cyclone season was
soon. I wanted the challenge of the bigger surf. It made
me nervous, but it made me excited too.

'Big, schmig,' Georgie sighed.

'That was a bit random,' Ace laughed.

'I want to go back to bed and sleep.' Georgie yawned.

This was my cue. 'Were you guys up late talking?'

Ace looked straight at Georgie. 'No way.' Her voice
suddenly got loud. 'I fell asleep straightaway. I was
stuffed last night.'

Smiling would show I believed. So that's what I did.

'Quick, Ace,' Georgie whispered, 'Carla's coming.'

Ace stuffed her mobile under her legs.

'Good morning, girls.' Carla stopped at our table.
'Georgie, I thought you might like to organise a game of
soccer for this afternoon. Six a side. Yeah?'

Georgie suddenly woke up, sat straight and
grinned. 'I'd love to. That's so cool. Thanks.'

'Bags goalie!' Ace said.

'Done,' Georgie answered. 'Micki, what do you
want to play?'

'Play what?' Kia pulled out the chair next to me. 'Hi
Micki.'

So she managed to greet me even if it was to the
floor and not my face. 'Did you . . . um . . . sleep well?'

'Fine,' I answered.

'I'm going to ask Carla if I can organise a tennis
comp too.' Ace sounded excited. 'They don't call me
Ace for nothing!'

'Is that how you got that name?' Georgie asked.

'Yeah,' Ace replied. 'It kind of started with Courtney,
tennis court, then sort of grew into Ace.'

'Kia, you said it came from "ice".' I'd shocked myself
but it just popped out. 'Um, like ice queen.'

'Huh?' Ace was turning between me and Kia. 'Ice?'

'That's what Kia told me.' Now I was being mean,
and I wasn't very good at being mean. But too late, I'd
said it. Kia was going a shade of crimson. It served her
right too.

'Did – did I?' she stammered.

'Yeah,' I continued. 'You told me it came from ice
queen.'

'Nice!' Georgie spluttered. 'Where'd you get that bit
of bullshit from, Kia?'

'Kia's got plenty of it,' I wanted to say. Like me not
liking blood because of what happened to my mother. I
don't like the sight of blood because I just don't.

'Oh, I'm um . . .' Kia was doing a bad job of shrugging
it off. 'You know, I can't remember now where I
heard it.'

'You must've really been looking forward to meeting
me,' Ace said to Kia. 'You must've thought I was a total
bitch!'

I turned to Kia. This was for last night: 'You told me
you already knew Ace.'

'No I didn't,' Kia lied. Her leg was jerking up and
down under the table. 'As if I would've said that.'

She knew she'd been caught and that was enough. I
couldn't be bothered going on with it. It didn't make
me feel any better.

'Right!' Georgie clapped her hands. 'Don't you love
silences!'

'Don't you hate it when you're talking on the phone
and there's a long silence?' Ace added quickly. 'I had
this boyfriend in year seven and we used to have that
happen to us all the time.'

'Grounds for dumping, I'd say,' Georgie said.

'It was so bad when I did dump him,' Ace told us,
''cause the next week his mother was killed in a car
crash. She was like squashed into the size of a sandwich.
It was –'

This time I definitely saw Georgie's leg whack Ace's.
It was hard not to as the table almost jumped. Ace
stopped mid-sentence and another uncomfortable
silence consumed us.

Georgie burst through the door showing just a bit too
much leg.

'Okay, are you ready?' she asked. 'These are the
teams. Us Starfish with Megan and Jaime from the
Dolphins and the others with the Seahorse girls.'

'And I'm goalie?' I slowly tied my shoelaces. It was a
better view than Georgie pulling at the legs of her
shorts. She wasn't going to stretch them any further, if
that's what she was trying to do.

'Come on. Let's kick some butt.'

'Right-o,' I saluted. Georgie was so into it. 'At your
service, Sergeant Elwood Ross.'

'Beep beep,' my mobile echoed.

Georgie's hands flew to her hips. 'Courtney
McFarlane?'

'I'll be quick, I promise.'

'Hurry.'

'I will.'

Georgie stood there, waiting.

'Off you go,' I shooed her away. 'I'll be there in a sec.'

Tim's texts had been getting sexy, almost sleazy. In
fact, yesterday some of them creeped me out and I
wondered if he'd sent them or if it was actually Rasta
and Brent having a joke at my expense – not that it was
very funny. But whoever it was, I knew I didn't want
Kia, Georgie or anyone else reading them. I would die!

I peered at the screen. 'Ace I want ma face . . .' I
slammed my phone shut. There was no way it was Tim
sending me these texts. Absolutely no way.

'So does he still love you?' Georgie popped her head
around the door.

'Heaps!' I called, heading to the safety of the
bathroom.

'I know what you're doing in there,' called Georgie.

'I'll see you down there.' Please go away.

'Don't be long!'

Straightaway I deleted the message. I didn't want a
second read of it.

'Tim,' I typed. But what was I going to say? What if it
was him and not Rasta or Brent sending that stuff? But
it couldn't be. It couldn't be!

The last time I was with Tim he told me that he
really loved me and wouldn't ever do anything to hurt
me. That's why I agreed to go all the way with him.

I wanted him. At least I was pretty sure I did. Sometimes
my body ached and it made me want to scream.
But then Tim would say something, like something he
fantasised about doing to me and then the ache inside
me would disappear, just like that. Then I'd get scared
it was just a use. That terrified me more than anything.
I wanted him to love me. I wanted it to be perfect. I
wanted us to look at the same moon and think about
each other.

I deleted 'Tim' and wrote 'Babe' instead. That didn't
sound as serious. I needed to let Tim know I didn't like
these sorts of messages, but at the same time I didn't
want him to think I was immature and couldn't handle
them.

That was the other thing with Tim. If I ever said, 'I'm
not really sure about doing that' or, 'Please don't do
that, I'm not quite ready,' he'd get all huffy and say
words like, 'I thought you were a big girl.'

My palm gripped my phone.
What will I say? What
will I say?

I sat on the toilet seat and placed my feet on the bin,
accidentally tipping the lid off.

'Yuck!' I squealed, tucking my legs up under me.
'That's off!'

When Kia got her period yesterday she'd shoved
a heap of bloody toilet paper into the bin. It was
disgusting. She was lucky it wasn't Micki who'd tipped
it over.

I stood up, slamming the lid on, and went back to
my message.

'Pleze stop those texts. Luv u xxx.'

But when I read it back it sounded too harsh, like I
was giving him an order. He wouldn't like that.

The bathroom door was definitely locked. I gave the
handle a rattle and a pull just to check, then pressed
'call'.

'Ace!' Tim answered straightaway.

'Hey.' My heart was pounding.

'You got my text?'

Tim
had
sent it!

'I'm horny, Acey.'

'Um? Tim?' Stuff, feelings, words were charging
around my head, colliding into each other before
exploding into smoke. 'Please don't . . . um, please
don't send me those sorts of messages. Sorry honey,
but I'm, I'm . . . um, sharing a room and I can't . . . risk
them being read, by the others. You know they're so
into you being my boyfriend and –'

'Well, hide your phone then,' he snapped. My
fantastic out-of-nowhere excuse had not impressed
him. 'Let's do phone sex.' I hated it so much when he
talked like this. 'Don't my messages make you horny?'

'Yeah.' That was the biggest lie of all.

'So, what are you wearing?'

'Um? Hey, good I got into the top group.' My eyes
were shut so tight I could see little orange stars. 'That'll
help my chances with the trial, don't you reckon?'

'I said, what are you wearing?'

'Don't, Tim.'

'Don't, Tim what?' he almost snarled. 'Stop being so
boring, Ace.'

'Um?' The orange stars were starting to spin around
my head. 'So, what are you up to today?'

'Dunno.'

'Are the boys still with you?'

'Yep,' Tim mumbled. 'See ya later, Ace.'

It took me a while to peel myself off the bathroom
floor and into the sunshine to face the others – the
others who envied Ace and Tim.
Dolly
had called us
'A couple so blissed out just being in each other's
company.' Hmmm.

On the oval everyone was sitting around, waiting.
When they saw me they started cheering.

'Mrs Parker's entered the building,' Kia announced.

When everyone started laughing I did too, but inside
I wasn't laughing. Inside, my stomach was tying itself
into knots. I was terrified I'd just blown it with Tim.

Georgie got us organised into teams and explained a
few offside rules. Jake was the ref. Shyan and Taylor
were recruited to play and Carla said she was 'support
and first aid'.

'What's the prize for the winning team?' one of the
girls asked.

'I was thinking about that.' Carla looked at me and
giggled. 'A date with Tim Parker perhaps?'

Whistles and cheers erupted again. I put my hands
over my face, pretending I was all embarrassed. 'No
way!' I squealed.

Carla put her arm around me, giving me a teasing
squeeze. 'We're probably pushing our luck there, girls.'

'Just a bit,' I replied, concentrating on keeping the
corners of my mouth upward.

'Whichever team wins,' Carla told us, 'gets to pass
off one kitchen duty to the losing side.'

'Great,' Kia said, 'I'm on dinner tonight.'

'Well, it doesn't have to be the next rostered duty.
You've got till the end of this week.'

I was thankful to be in goal. I wanted to be alone. All
that stuff was nagging in my head.

Georgie was standing up the back, near me, in the
defence position. Kia and Micki were light and fast so
she had them up the front in attack. Shyan, who was
playing for us, was positioned in the midfield.

Micki was all over a Dolphin girl, tackling the ball
from her then weaving it through legs and passing it
back and forth with Shyan.

'Go, Micki!' Georgie called. 'Take it out wide. Good
girl!'

Then with a big kick for a little girl, Micki booted in
our first goal! Shyan, Megan and Micki did the aeroplane
run. They were so excited, I was almost expecting
them to put their T-shirts over their heads.

'She just can't get over it,' Georgie growled from the
corner of her mouth. 'Look at her.'

'Who are you talking about?' I asked.

'Duh! Kia. Check her out.'

Georgie was spot on. Kia was standing there with a
sour look on her face. I hoped Georgie hadn't seen
through my expression too.

'What has Micki ever done to her?' Georgie said.

'But Kia was acting all keen about the bikini parade
and getting Micki a new surfboard.'

'That's 'cause you were there,' Georgie answered.
'She's totally in awe of you.' The ball was coming up
our way. Georgie ran ahead. Without an inch of panic,
she waited patiently for the ball, then belted it so hard
it landed down the other end of the field.

'Way to go, Georgie!' I cheered. She was good.

Georgie came jogging backwards, saying, 'But then I
s'pose the whole camp's in awe of you. Well, probably
you and Tim. No offence.'

'But you're not.'

'I'm different,' Georgie said. 'I don't belong here.'

'Yes you do!'

'You'll be a professional surfer, Ace.'

'So will you,' I told her. 'I was – was totally freaked
when I found out you were here. I'd heard so many
good things about you.'

Georgie suddenly screamed, 'Boot it again, Micki!'

I think I'd almost forgotten we were playing soccer.

'In fact,' I confessed, 'I was kicking myself that I
hadn't checked you out better. I was totally all ready to
hate you, then we did lunch duty together and I
changed my mind.'

'Oh?' Georgie seemed surprised. 'I didn't even
realise you'd noticed me. Offside, ref,' Georgie called.
'Did you see that?'

'You know lots of people say that.'

'Say what?'

'Say that I wouldn't even notice them.'

Georgie was constantly watching the play. Just once
she turned to look at me as we spoke. That's when I
saw something in her face I hadn't seen before. My dad
would've called it 'hunger'. I recognised it straightaway
'cause I got that look before a surfing contest.

At least I used to. Now, I wasn't sure. It seemed so
long since I'd seriously competed.

Almost two years ago, when OP first signed me up,
I was determined to win every single contest. Most of
the time I did too.

I wanted to prove to Ocean Pearl, and prove to
myself and every other person who thought I had a
sponsor because of the way I looked and not the way I
surfed, that it was different to that.

But then I hurt my shoulder and had to take time
off. That's when the magazine stuff really took off. I
couldn't surf for OP so I became their model instead.
It was during that time I met Tim and then everything
started to change, though I don't know what changed
first and how it was all suddenly different, everything.

'Hey, Georgie?' I asked. 'Do you think this whole
"awe" thing is just because I go out with Tim?'

'Huh?' Georgie was positioning herself as the ball
was flying towards us. Natasha from the Seahorses was
shouting, 'Shoot, shoot!'

Was I relieved Georgie hadn't heard my question?

'Come out of the goal, Ace,' Georgie instructed. 'Get
ready.'

'Okay.' I focused on the ball that was flying towards
me at a thousand kilometres an hour. I crouched, leapt,
then dived onto it.

'Save!' Georgie screamed.

A second later, there I was doing the aeroplane run
around the field. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that
Kia was doing it too.

'I am so glad I got rid of my dinner duty,' Kia mumbled
through a yawn as we made our way back to the
bungalow. 'I am so tired. I am going to be asleep in one
second.'

'Me too,' I agreed. 'I bet Micki's already asleep.'

'No, I saw her at the payphone a little while ago.'
Georgie opened the door to our bungalow, then went
and belly flopped onto her bed. The mattress vibrated
for a few seconds.

'Break the bed, why don't you, Georgie?' Kia said.

'Piss off.'

'Oh, and do you have any messages, Ace?' Suddenly
Kia was bubbly, and I was not in the mood.

'Where's your phone? Where is it?' Miss Nosey said,
picking things up off the table. Yesterday I'd had it
sitting there, out on view, close enough for them all to
see and hear if a text arrived and close enough for me
to keep a check on curious eyes and fingers. Now it was
hiding under my mattress. 'Ace? Where'd you put it?'

'How many bikinis did you bring up?' I asked
Georgie. It was the only way to stop myself from biting
off Kia's head and telling her to butt out of my
business. 'I thought I'd ask Carla about the fashion
parade tomorrow.'

'I'm not sure. Kia, count how many we brought up.'
Georgie handed Kia the bag of them.

'Not now.' Kia went back to her bed. 'I'm too tired.'

'I will,' I volunteered, shaking out the contents of
the bag.

A tangled vine of metallics, prints and fluoros spilt
out onto the white sheets of my bed.

'This is so cool.' I untwisted a dark blue one flecked
with tiny strands of gold. 'You know who would look
amazing in this? Natasha from the Seahorses. I was
checking her out during the game. She has got a really
hot body. I reckon we should see if she wants to help
model.'

There was a yellow bandeau top stamped with tiny
little black peace signs.

'I'm not sure about this fashion parade idea.' There
was definitely an edge in Kia's voice. Like me, Georgie
stopped what she was doing and looked at her. She
must've heard it too. 'Like, what are we going to do?
Have a parade and then what? Who're going to be our
customers? There's no point really and I don't want
Bikina being a flop. It'll look bad – for us,' she said to
Georgie. 'Don't you think?'

'We just have to work those bits out,' Georgie
answered. 'You're sounding like a spoilsport.'

'No I'm not!'

'Kia, it's so obvious you don't like Micki,' Georgie
said.

I began to shove the bikinis back into the bag.

'How can you say that?' Kia whined. 'I helped
suggest the fashion parade too.'

I let them bicker away while I stretched out on my
bed. My hands reached underneath the mattress until
my fingertips felt the hard edge of my phone.

'I just remembered, you even have something about
Micki on your myspace page.' Georgie was still going. 'I
saw it in the "about me" section. You said she annoyed
you.'

'That was ages ago,' Kia barked back.

I turned away from the girls and quietly flipped my
mobile open. One message received.

'Anyway, what does it matter to you if there was
something about her on my myspace?'