Starstruck - Book Three (7 page)

My jaw dropped. “Is this for real? Are we really having this
conversation right now? Is this really how it’s going to be?”

“You can’t call dibs on people just because you like them,
Brynn,” she said. “In high school, you obsessed over Luke just like all the
other girls that wanted to be with him. Well, I wanted to be with him too. I
just never told you because I was a good friend.”

“I never knew that,” I said.

“I’ve loved him since we were kids,” she sighed.

I huffed. “You had a crush on him in sixth grade. I would
hardly call that love.”

“It was love,” she said as she nearly stomped her foot. “I
always knew I could treat him better than you ever could. When you became
obsessed with him in high school, I didn’t have the heart to tell you I felt
the same way.”

I had heard enough.

“I’m done here,” I said to her as I spun around. “Glad you
got what you wanted, Piper. Congratulations.”

By the time I’d walked inside, Luke was gone and Hudson was
just sitting at a table, sipping a coffee drink.

“You okay?” he asked as he stood up.

“No,” I said. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

He followed me out to my car where I refused to shed a
single tear over those assholes, though I wasn’t sure how much longer I could
fight it. I’d never felt so betrayed in my life before, and by the two people I
least expected to ever hurt me.

I managed to contain my emotions until the second I stepped
foot into my apartment. I fell apart. I crumbled to the ground.

“I don’t understand,” I wailed. I didn’t care that Hudson
had never seen me so weak and vulnerable. I let loose.

He crouched down and helped me up, leading me over to the
sofa where he sat me down and wrapped his arms around me.

“Piper said they’ve been hooking up for months,” I cried.
“Since before I met you.”

“That must really hurt,” he said.

“How could they do that?” I cried. “Who does that to people
they love?”

The irony was not lost on me, and Hudson wisely chose not to
answer.

“I guess this is my karma,” I sniffed.

“No,” he said. “They’re just assholes.”

“I don’t belong here anymore,” I said. “Everything I thought
I had, everyone I thought I knew, it’s all gone.”

“I know you’re hurting,” he said. “But this is still your
home. Your mom is still in town, right?”

“Yeah,” I sniffed.

“Then come back whenever you want and spend time with her,”
he suggested. “Just ignore Luke and Piper. Be done with all of that. Move on.”

“I don’t ever want to hear their names again,” I sobbed.
“They’re dead to me.”

“Okay, I won’t ever talk about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
ever again,” he teased.

He managed to get a short laugh out of me.

“I guess I’m used to the constant lying and backstabbing,”
he said. “It’s just how a lot of people are in my world. But I know this is new
to you. I can’t imagine how bad it hurts.”

I buried my face in his chest and breathed in his exotic,
musky cologne. He was home to me now. Not Rock River.

“Some people will do anything just to get what they want,”
he added.

“I’m just sick of fake people,” I said. “You’re the only
person I can trust, Hudson.”

“That’s partly why I was drawn to you,” he said. “You seemed
so genuine. So trustworthy. You had that sweet, small town innocence about you.
That’s rare where I come from.”

I’d always wondered why he was so drawn to me, but after
experiencing what I’d just experienced, it was all starting to make sense.
Hudson didn’t want to hurt anymore. He just wanted to love and be with someone
who was real. I could never blame him for that.

My arms squeezed him even tighter. I was pretty sure I loved
him, but I didn’t know how to say it. I hoped he knew it. I hoped he could feel
it. I hoped he’d say it first.

“So we have the whole rest of the day…” he said. “What do
you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t want to think about it. I
thought I was going to be hanging out with you and Piper today. I didn’t think
about anything else.”

“Why don’t we go visit your mom?” he suggested. “We can
spend time with her tonight and then tomorrow we’ll get on a plane first thing
in the morning and go home.”

I nodded and relaxed in the safe comfort of his arms. At
least I could rest assured knowing that the last time I saw her, she was doing
better. She wasn’t going to be an embarrassment to me. Her place wasn’t going
to reek of dirty cat litter and stale beer. I would just die if Hudson saw the
way I’d grown up.

“Why don’t you take a little nap?” he suggested as he ran
his fingers through my long hair. “It’s been a long flight. A long day. A long
afternoon. You’re probably drained.”

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind as we settled in
side-by-side on my sofa for a sweet afternoon nap. Hudson’s arms were where I
belonged and his arms were where I’d stay.

I treated Hudson to some greasy pizza from the one and only
gas station in town. It wasn’t organic or gourmet by any means, but he didn’t
complain once. I didn’t dare set foot into the Brown Bag Diner. I was sure
Marge would have my head on a platter if she ever saw me again.

“Ready to go to my mom’s?” I asked as he wiped the grease
from around his mouth and chewed his last bite of pizza.

“Yeah,” he said. He seemed genuinely excited to meet her,
which was sweet.

As we buzzed across town to my mom’s little house, I felt
the need to prep him before we got there.

“Now, don’t expect anything fancy,” I said.

“Okay,” he laughed, probably confused as to why I’d even say
such a thing.

“My dad died when I was little,” I said.

“Yes, I remember you telling me that once,” he said. “I’m so
sorry.”

“It was just me and Mom,” I said. “We lived in this little
house. Money was tight. She was, still is actually, a laborer at the appliance
factory.”

“Okay,” he said. “I think that’s great that she took on
whatever job she had to to support you.”

I bit my tongue. I wanted to tell him she was an alcoholic
and she was never there for me. I wanted to tell him she wasn’t capable of
raising a child, but she did the best she could. I couldn’t manage to get the
words out. I just hoped to God her house was still in the same condition it was
the last time I saw it. I prayed she was still with Tom and still sobering up.

“I just don’t want you to have high expectations,” I said.

“Brynn,” he laughed. “You’re overthinking this. It’ll be
fine. I’ll love her no matter what. She’s your mom.”

We pulled into the weeded, gravel driveway of my childhood
home. Right away I noticed the yard hadn’t been mowed since I’d last seen it. Foot
tall weeds poked up sporadically and the flowers I’d always watered for her in
the flower beds were brown and dying. It wasn’t a good sign.

I didn’t see Tom’s car there, but I knew she was home.

“Maybe now’s not a good time for you to meet her,” I said.

“What? No, we’re here. I want to meet her,” he said. “I
don’t know why you’re being like this. Moms love me.”

“I’m not worried about her liking you,” I said. “I know
she’ll love you.”

I wanted to add, “If she’s sober and coherent enough to
remember meeting you” but I didn’t.

I took a deep breath and crawled out of my car, dreading
each step to the side entrance door. Hudson was a step behind me the entire way
with his hand on my lower back. I opened the creaky door and was immediately
punched in the face with the overpowering stench of dirty cat litter. I glanced
over to my left to see empty beer cans lining the side of the sink. She had
reverted back to her old ways.

Hudson stepped inside after me but said nothing, thank
goodness. He was too polite, but I knew he noticed. There was no way he
couldn’t have noticed.

“Mom?” I called out.

I didn’t hear the T.V. blaring which meant she was either in
her room sleeping or passed out drunk somewhere around the house.

“You can have a seat in there,” I told him as I pointed to
the living room.

I wandered back to her bedroom where I lightly rapped on the
door.

“Mom?” I called out. I waited a minute or so before opening
the door. She was spread eagle, passed out and snoring on her bed all alone.

I walked up and sat next to her, gently shaking her arm.

“Mom, wake up,” I said. “It’s Brynn.”

She was sleeping hard, so I shook her even harder.

“Mom!” I yelled. I was beginning to worry.

I waited and watched as her eyes began to flutter and she
startled awake when she saw someone else was there.

“Tom?” she called out.

“No,” I sighed. “Brynn. Your daughter.”

Her eyes fluttered open the rest of the way as a drunk,
sheepish smile spread across her lips.

“Hi, honey,” she said as she attempted to sit up in bed. “I
didn’t know you were coming home.”

“Are you okay, mom?” I asked. “You seem different from last
time.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Where’s Tom?” I asked.

“Bastard left me,” she said. “Said I drink too much or some
bullshit like that.”

“I thought you were sobering up,” I said. “You seemed so
much better last time.”

“He didn’t even want me to have one drink with dinner,” she
muttered. “He said it would lead to another and another. I don’t need a man
like that controlling my life.”

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” I asked her.

I glanced at the alarm clock. It was nearly eight, and she’d
been off work since three. It was hard telling just how many drinks she’d had.

“Just a couple,” she mumbled. I didn’t believe her for one
second.

“Do you think you can get cleaned up and meet my friend?” I
asked her, crossing my fingers she could understand how much that would mean to
me.

“Your friend?” she asked.

“Yeah, Hudson,” I said.

“Oh, the movie star,” she said. Her drunk eyes lit up.
“Yeah, give me a minute.”

She sat up and steadied herself on the bed before dipping
one leg at a time over the edge. I grabbed her elbow and helped her up. She was
a skinny little thing but she always had been. She rarely ate. Her dark hair
was in desperate need of a trim and color as nearly two inches of gray was
growing out. Alcohol was the only thing she ever really cared to spend money
on.

“Let me walk you to the bathroom,” I said to her.

“Nah,” she slurred as she tried to push me away. “I got it.
Stop taking care of me so much, Brynn. I’m the mother.”

Her words bit me like a bullet in the leg. She was right.
She was the mother. If only she’d acted like it.

I watched her make her way to the bathroom and then went out
to where Hudson was sitting in the living room. I knew the house was small, and
I was sure he’d heard everything, but he said nothing. He didn’t have to. His
face said it all. He was sad for me.

I took my place next to him and he wrapped his arm around
me.

“You’re a good girl, you know that?” he whispered into my
ear before he kissed my cheek. “She’s lucky to have you.”

I nodded. I was well aware.

Within minutes, my mom emerged from the bathroom in a cloud
of cheap perfume and hairspray. She’d changed into clean, unwrinkled clothes,
and had brushed her hair back into a pony tail.

“Hi, there!” she said as she extended her hand out to Hudson.
“I’m Brynn’s mom, Tina. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Hudson stood up and shook her hand. “I’m Hudson. Nice to
meet you.”

She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if she tried nor
could she take her eyes off him for two seconds. She was instantly starstruck
and smitten with him.

“You’ve raised a really sweet girl here,” Hudson said as he
patted my leg.

“Oh, don’t I know it,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do
without her. She’s the apple of my eye.”

My mom clutched her hands at her heart as she turned towards
me. I couldn’t tell if she really meant those words or if she was trying to
come off like she wasn’t a deadbeat mom for all those years. She could’ve been
putting on an act for Hudson’s sake for all I knew. Our relationship was complicated
and the scars ran deep, but I still loved her so much it hurt sometimes.