Starting Fires (10 page)

“When’s the last time you saw him with another girl?” Nicole asked.

My lips pursed as I thought about it. “I’m not sure.”

Lacey leaned towards me and said, “Maybe that’s because he hasn’t been with any.”

For the rest of the day I thought about her words. It was while I was sitting in our garage listening to Wally and Charles mess around on their instruments that I realized Lacey was right. I hadn’t seen him with anyone else. Not since our talk in the kitchen.

The next afternoon I was leaning on my kitchen island flipping through a magazine when Lucas walked through my front door. He was wearing a pair of light jeans and a nice button down collared shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His hair even looked a little more styled. I looked down at my t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. My hair was in a messy bun on top of my head. “Uh…” I smiled, feeling embarrassed. “I’m a little underdressed.”

He eyed me from head to toe and walked to the other side of the island. “You look fantastic,” he grinned. My embarrassment eased and I smiled at him.

The sound of someone barreling down the stairs drew my attention, and I watched Wally walk into the kitchen, wearing only his boxers. Without saying anything to us, he opened the back door and stepped outside, propping his hands on his hips and spreading his legs wide. The stance reminded me of Peter Pan. He stood on the back porch for about five seconds before coming back in. “We’re having a barbeque today,” he announced. “The weather is perfect for swimming and it will probably be the last time we can this year. Marlowe, make a list of all the food we need and call your girls.”

“But, I was…” I said to no one. He was already up the stairs.

“He’s right,” Lucas said. “It
is
nice outside. The bar stuff can wait a week.”

A hint of disappointment settled in my stomach, and I realized that I was looking forward to taking a drive with him. “Aren’t you working?” I asked, hoping he’d have to go in.

“Kate can handle setting up and Tammy’s coming in tonight.”

It felt like he’d rather stay. “Alright, barbeque it is.” I grabbed my phone and jumped to sit on the counter. Before I even had a message typed, my phone dinged. It was Lacey.

Wally just called. Not taking a drive? ;)

I rolled my eyes. Why did he even ask me to call them?

Nope. See you soon.

Since I had no idea what type of food a barbeque would need, Lucas started making a list, surveying our fridge and pantry. Ian came over with an ice chest and carted it to the backyard. It didn’t have any beer in it, so Charles and Wally volunteered to go get the food and alcohol, while Lucas went to change. He came back wearing navy swim trunks and a red t-shirt that hugged his shoulders and chest. I was busy cleaning out the pool when Lacey and Nicole showed up. They both had one of those large beach bags, packed with towels, sun block, and clothes. Nicole was even wearing a pair of huge sunglasses. Nearly as soon as they arrived, they took off their shirts and started walking around in their shorts and bikini tops. I admit that I envied their bodies. Both were slender and had flat stomachs, whereas mine rounded out a little. No good would come from comparing us though, so I stopped. Besides that was more Mark talking than me.

Wally and Charles came back carting in bags full of food and cases of beer. I was in the kitchen helping them unload when I heard unfamiliar girly laughter coming from my front door. I looked in that direction and immediately recognized one of them as Candace.

“Lucas!” she squealed, running to hug him. His eyes cut to me as he loosely returned her embrace.

“Uh, hey,” he said then walked to the other girl. He gave her a bear hug and kissed the top of her head. “How you doing, kiddo?” As he stepped back, he ruffled her hair.

“
Kiddo
? You are such a loser,” she chastised him. Her eyes found mine and she smiled, stretching out her hand. “Hey, I’m Mia.”

I shook it, smiling back. “Marlowe.”

“Lucas is my brother.” She reached for a bag of chips and ripped them open as she walked to the table. “This is new,” she said, sitting at it. “You guys finally open yourself to being adults and buying furniture?” She then stuffed a big handful of chips into her mouth.

She was pretty, and I could tell that she was younger than I was, but I wasn’t sure by how much. Her hair was the same color as Lucas’, a pretty caramel brown, but her highlights accentuated its beauty. Her eyes were big and innocent, and I noticed that her nails were painted black.

“It’s Marlowe’s,” Charles said. “Now cut the lip before I tell your mom I saw you smoking.” She stuck her tongue out at him, all covered with remnants of chips.

I’d been doing my absolute best to ignore Candace in the room, but knew I couldn’t continue. We’d never really met, and I wasn’t going to pretend as if we had. Lucas was standing next to me and she was on his other side, standing close to him. She obviously wasn’t going to say anything to me, so I went for it. Putting on my friendliest smile, I looked around Lucas. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Marlowe.”

“Candace,” she smiled back and it looked friendly, but then she put her hand over Lucas’ fist on the counter. “We ran into Charles at the liquor store and he invited us,” she said to him. “Sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming to town this weekend.” Looking directly at me, she made a show of rubbing his hand.

“It’s fine,” he clipped, stepping away from her. He maneuvered around me, unnecessarily placing a hand on each of my hips as passed. Roughly, he picked up a beer case from the floor and took it outside.

Since Lacey and Nicole were my friends, they immediately hated Candace. We stayed clear of each other, but every time I saw her, she was standing next to Lucas. The few times she saw me looking, I swore she would purposefully touch him. As if she was saying,
He’s mine, bitch.
I did my best to ignore the whole thing, but I was kinda pissed at Charles. He had to know that her being here would be uncomfortable for me. While I fished out the last remaining leaves from the pool, he came up to me and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Why would you invite her?” I whispered back. “This is so awkward.”

“I didn’t know she was with Mia. We didn’t see Candace at the store until after we’d already invited her.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But I’m still pissed at you.”

He smirked. “Only a little bit though, right?”

“Right,” I chuckled. “You owe me, though.”

When I finished with the pool, I grabbed a beer and sat at our iron table. If Wally was annoyed by her presence, he didn’t make it known—which bothered me. I thought he hated her. He joked around and engaged her in conversation. It felt odd. I’d been here for a little over a month, but it felt like I’d known them all for so long. But they had a life well before me, filled with other people and memories I couldn’t take part in.

“Stop it,” I heard on my left. I jerked and looked over to see Lacey. “You’ve been sitting at this table by yourself, moping and spinning that beer can in between your hands for nearly ten minutes. It’s so obvious that this is getting to you.” I bristled and wanted to lash out, denying it. Instead, I didn’t say anything, but sighed. “She’s winning,” she said.

“Winning?” I asked, sounding annoyed and defeated. “She’s already won. Look at her.”

I glanced in her direction. She had her arm laced through Lucas’ and it made me feel pathetic. She’d been doing this all day. He never reciprocated her touches but hadn’t really been pulling away either.

Lacey wagged her finger at me. “I’m not talking about Lucas. I’m talking about you. She’s winning against your battle with yourself. She’s doing her best to make you feel inferior, and you’re letting her. Stop. It. You’re awesome. And these guys love you. So tell the insecurities to shove it and get your ass up.”

With effort, I mentally did as she told me, and sat up a little straighter tofinish the last bit of my beer. “Thank you,” I said. “I needed that.”

“You’re damn right you did.”

She and I walked over to get another drink and Wally came up behind me. He grabbed me around the neck and gave me a big, wet kiss on the cheek before running off.

“That was lovely!” I called after him, wiping the excess saliva off my face.

“Only for you, sweet thing,” he winked from the other side of the pool.

Candace shifted her eyes between us then stepped away from Lucas, making a show of pulling her shirt off and slipping out of her shorts. Her white bikini was blinding and I almost wanted to bring a hand to my eyes to block the brightness. Listening to Lacey, I didn’t compare our bodies. Not really. I noted her slender legs, flat stomach, and slightly tanned skin, but pushed away the desire to rate myself against her.

Just before the food was ready, I went up to my room to change into my swimsuit. I pulled all the ones I owned out and laid them on the bed. I had a blue one piece, a hot pink tankini, and a black string bikini. Standing in front of them, I had a little freak out. The desire to compare myself to Candace came rushing back.

I reached for my blue one piece and rubbed the material through my fingers. This was the safest bet. It wouldn’t show too much of my body and I would probably feel more comfortable. Words from Mark came rushing back. Hearing his voice in my head, I threw the swimsuit down and reached for the black one instead. I gave him too much power. Whatever his punk ass said shouldn’t hold weight over me anymore.

I came out of my room wearing the black swimsuit underneath a white tank and black shorts. I marched downstairs holding my head high and my shoulders back. No one had the power to make me feel less about myself. Not Mark. Not Candace. Not anyone.

 

Chapter 9

D
ownstairs, everyone was
in the kitchen piling their food on disposable plates. I joined the line. The only meat was ribs—which I hated. In general, I thought that ribs tasted fine, but the whole process of eating them grossed me out. It was so messy and even a little feral. Since Charles made them, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and put two on my plate along with some grilled vegetables and chips.

Everyone began eating in the kitchen, either standing or sitting at the table. I looked out the window at our black iron table and decided I’d rather eat there. Juggling my drink and plate, I opened the door and went outside. Mia followed and sat down next to me.

She took a big bite of a rib and moaned. “Oh my God, so good,” she said around a mouthful of food, making me chuckle. “How come I’ve never met you before?” she asked. “Charles said you’re their new roommate.”

“I moved here about a month ago. Charles and I used to go to high school together, back in New York.”

Her eyes went big and she grabbed my hand. “You’re from New York? How cool is that?”

I smiled and shrugged. “Charles lived there for three years, too.”

Everyone else came outside with their food, and I saw Nicole and Lacey walking towards us, but Candace was a few steps in front of them. With the way they were strolling, they wouldn’t make it to occupy the last two chairs in time. Candace sat down just as Mia yelled to Charles. “How come I didn’t know you used to live in New York?”

“You never asked!” he called back.

Lacey and Nicole ended up sitting on one of our long lounge chairs instead of with us. Traitors. I didn’t get to say much once Candace arrived. She and Mia were having their own conversation. I tried to involve myself, but Candace always managed to squeeze me out. While I listened to them prattle on about nonsense, I tried one of the ribs. It
did
taste good, but I felt like an animal tearing into the meat and pushed my plate away.

“Are you going to finish those?” Mia asked.

I shook my head and she took them, even the one I’d started eating. In fact, she ate that one first. I smirked and squinted my eyes, trying to figure her out.

Candace laughed. “I wish I had your metabolism. Girls like Marlowe and me can’t afford to gorge ourselves on food. You’re like a garbage disposal.”

“Don’t be stupid. You know you aren’t fat,” Mia said, rolling her eyes. “And you eat all the time.”

“That’s because I work out. Speaking of-” She turned to look at me and I knew I wasn’t going to like where this was going. It already irked me that she felt the need to group me into her “
we can’t afford to gorge ourselves
” category. I’ll gorge myself all I want.

-”Marlowe, my cousin is a trainer at a gym here in town. He could really help you out.”

Internally, I was throwing my head back and gripping the table, making the most outraged, annoyed sound my throat could push out. Externally, I smiled and laughed at her as if she was ridiculous. “I’m good,” I told her.

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged, eyeing my body with judgment. That was such a low blow. She thought she had me pegged the moment she saw me. She was going for the easy kill, and I wasn’t impressed. If she hoped that I would run up the stairs to cry in my bathroom, she was wrong.

Wanting to be away from her, I slapped the arms of my chair and announced that I was going for a swim. Wally was the only one in the pool, leaning against the side, sipping his beer. The sun was shining brightly. No clouds were in sight, and I was glad that I’d been liberal with the sunscreen. I walked over to a chair sitting off the middle of the pool—in clear view of everyone. The completely overused phrase ‘Go big or go home’ rang in my head. I was about to go big. Once I was sure Lucas had noticed me, I pulled my hair down and fluffed it out, keeping my band on my wrist. I knew it looked crazy and wild. My hands went to the hem of my shirt and I pulled it over my head, tossing it on the chair. Lucas was staring at me from across the pool, gripping his beer bottle with both hands. Tossing every insecurity I’ve ever had away, I kept eye contact with him as I pushed my shorts down my legs.

Done with the dramatics, I strutted over to the diving board and walked to the end. Those years spent at the summer pool were about to pay off. I bounced then dove. After touching the bottom, I shot back up, still in the deep end.

Before making my way to the shallows, I checked to make sure my bikini pieces were in place. Once there, I waded to the end and pulled myself up on the rim.

Nicole and Lacey started clapping and cheering. Wally said, “Thanks a lot Marlowe. Now I can’t get out of the water without embarrassing myself for at least another ten minutes.”

Using my hand, I wiped away the water that had dripped into my eyes. “You’re gross,” I told him.

“Well, stop diving into pools and coming out of the water looking like a goddess. It’s your own fault.
You
did this to me.”

I chuckled, knowing he wasn’t being serious, and hopped back into the water. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Candace and Mia walk towards the house and pushed all thoughts of her away. She was at my home. Either she could try to be nicer or I would show her that I didn’t care about her snide comments.

Lucas came to the middle of the pool and sat on the edge, putting his feet in the water. I swam over to him and stood just out of arm’s reach, the water stopping just below my chest. Now that I was done trying my hardest to look sexy, I pulled my hair back into a messy bun. He smirked at me the whole time, not saying anything. “You gonna get in?” I asked.

His eyes shifted to the back door, probably checking to see if Candace had returned. It bothered me and without saying anything else, I floated onto my back and drifted away from him. My eyes were closed and I started moving my arms around in the water, pushing me back and forth. I’d always loved doing this, feeling so weightless. I took a deep breath and let my legs join in on the moving, letting all my worries flow away from me.

After a minute or so of being in my own personal sanctuary, I felt two hands touch me. I opened one eye and saw Lucas standing next to me, holding me at the waist and knee. With the slightest bit of pressure, he started pushing me through the water. Opening both eyes, I smiled at him. He smiled back as he led me around aimlessly.

When we’d finished a lap, I held onto his forearm and pulled myself up to stand next to him. My eyes immediately went to his bare chest, and I stared for probably longer than what was appropriate. The water lapped back and forth against his slight happy trail, and I was finally able to see his tattoo. It stretched down his ribs and curved towards his back. A flock of birds in flight. They were solid black and flying through the air with wild and rough abandon. Gently, I reached out and touched it.

I looked into his eyes and he took a step towards me, his jaw clenching. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and I was suddenly nervous. I didn’t want him to kiss me in front of everyone, especially Candace. Sensing my apprehension, the heat left his eyes, but playfulness took its place. Instead of kissing me, he dunked me.

I came back up choking on water and flailing my arms around. I pushed him in the chest and tried to dunk him too, but it was useless. He laughed as I tried my hardest to move him. “I’m getting you back,” I said through clenched teeth, trying to break his leg lock.

“You can try,” he grinned and grabbed me around the waist, dunking me again as if it was nothing. This time when I came back up, I scowled and swam away from him. “You give up too easy,” he said. “I would have eventually let you.”

“Sure, right after you drowned me,” I told him.

Candace and Mia still hadn’t returned, and Wally wanted to play volleyball. He set up the net and brought out a blowup beach ball. There were currently seven of us, and nobody mentioned waiting for Candace or Mia, so neither did I. At first, it was girls against guys, but Nicole said that was unfair. The guys argued that they were playing in the deep end and it was harder. She finally settled on trading me for Ian. I was going to be useless in the back. My treading water abilities were shit, and I’d have to hug the wall of the pool to stand on the sloped edge.

Lucas served first, and I stood in front of him, ready to guard my spot. He scored on the first hit, the ball going straight to Nicole. She flinched, barely hitting it away from her face.

It got a little more competitive after that, and we had several volleys before Wally scored on Lacy. I loved it every time the ball started to fall in the space between Lucas and me. He’d swim up and I’d swim back. We’d end up with his chest against my back and his arm around my waist. He was usually the one to hit it, but I loved feeling his fingers linger on my stomach before he’d pull away.

On my turn, Candace and Mia returned, and they asked to play the next game. I totally sucked and swatted air on my first try. Lacy laughed obnoxiously, so I aimed for her on my next attempt. I hit the ball with aggression and it went buzzing straight for her. She wasn’t expecting it and was hit in the face. Hard. For a beach ball. It was a good thing we weren’t playing with the real deal. Clear that she was fine, everyone enjoyed a good laugh at her expense.

Throughout the game, Lucas went out of his way to touch me under the water. And after a while, so did I. It felt like were doing something mischievous and I loved it. We were all having so much fun, laughing and joking, that I didn’t even realize the game was almost over until Lucas said, “This one’s for the win,” behind me.

“What’s the score?” I asked over my shoulder.

“24 serving 21. Keep up, Marzy,” he said with seriousness before smiling at me.

“We can do it,” I grinned back at him. He spun the ball in his hands and our eyes lingered on each other. I honestly didn’t want to stop playing.

As he hit the ball over the net, I turned back around. There were several good volleys before it came right to Lucas. He hit it all wonky, and it went high, heading off my side of the pool. Since he couldn’t hit it again, I scrambled to get under it, but in my excitement was struggling through the water. I’d never make it to the edge to knock it back in time.

Lucas grabbed me around the waist and pushed me into the air, then moved his arms around my thighs to push me up higher. I propped one arm on his shoulder and reached over the side of the pool as it was coming down.

“Get it, baby,” he said with excitement.

My heart jumped at his choice of words. I started swatting at the air and heard him laugh at my flailing. Behind me, I heard Wally say, “Hit that shit!” And Charles, “Get it get it get it!” I was able to make contact and we all turned to see where it would go.

It flew over the net and off to a corner nobody was guarding. As it hit the water, we started cheering. I was clenching my fist in victory and celebrating as my body slid down Lucas’. Joyously, he hugged my back to his front and kissed the top of the head. I wrapped my arms around his at my waist and couldn’t stop my huge smile. It was just a volleyball game, but in this moment, it felt like an enormous victory. Nicole and Lacey were swatting at the water and blaming each other for the loss. Wally came over and extracted me from Lucas. He whirled me around in the water and started chanting, “MVP,” over and over.

“We want to play, now,” Candace said from the edge of the pool, effectively ending our celebrating. During the entire game, I’d forgotten she was even there. It brought my excitement down a notch. “It’s uneven numbers,” she continued. “Someone needs to sit out.” She looked right at me as she said it and I cleared my throat.

Instead of making it a big deal, I looked around at everyone. “I think I’ll end on a high note and retire,” I said with a smile, climbing out of the pool. Just as I stood on the concrete, Lucas told Mia that she was taking my spot. Candace walked to the shallows and angrily got into the pool. While I dried off, I decided to sit in one of the long lounge chairs. Nicole’s bag was sitting next to it, her iPod resting on the top. I held it up in the air asking her if I could use it. She nodded, then made an annoyed face about Candace playing with them. I shook her sunglasses at her, too. She gave me a thumbs up. Not wanting to hear anything Candace said or did while they played, I put on her sunglasses and made sure my head and neck were dry as I put her ear buds in to start her shuffle.

At some point, I dozed off and was shaken awake by Charles. Taking off her sunglasses, I realized it was dusk, and only the two of us outside. “Ready to come in or you wanna sleep out here all night?” he asked, reaching a hand down to me.

I grabbed it and pulled myself up. “Did everyone leave?”

“Inside,” he jerked a thumb in that direction. He started gathering up items that had been strewn across the yard while I put my shorts and tank back on. I realized that I really, really had to pee and wanted to change clothes, so I made my way inside and up the stairs. As I passed Wally’s bedroom, I saw Lucas standing just inside the doorway with his back to me. Wally was sitting on the bed, and we made eye contact as I passed. As I reached my bedroom door, I heard him ask Lucas, “So, what do you think about Marlowe?” and froze.

Lucas didn’t reply, but then Wally laughed and said, “I know, dude.” I wanted to know what Lucas had done. Did he make a good face or a bad one? Did he do something vulgar? I crept into my room and slowly pushed my door, nearly to closing, so I could still eavesdrop on their conversation.

“She’s fucking perfect, man,” Lucas said. I gripped the edge of the door and leaned into it, as if that would help me hear them better. “But Candace-”

“But Candace what?” Wally groaned, cutting him off. “You don’t wanna be with her, just move on already.”

“I’m trying! She randomly shows up every time I try to break ties with her. Causes these huge scenes. Our lives are so integrated I can’t just cut her out. She always finds some way to sneak her way back in.”

“Look,” I heard Wally’s bed squeak as he moved, “you’re gonna have to put your foot down. This is exhausting. You don’t want her that way. If you have to be mean for her understand that, then be mean. It’s time to move on from this shit fest.”