Starting from Square Two (23 page)

Todd was a great guy. Had he really had only one major relationship by twenty-six? That didn't seem right.

Maybe he had a girlfriend at every whistlestop.

Yet again, Gert felt naive. Always, naive.

“You know,” Hallie said, “Todd told us these things about Brett, but what if he knows so much because that's what
he
does? Todd knew a lot about Brett's ‘three dates and out' rule, about how he acts sincere and then dumps girls…. What if all along, Todd's been telling you about
himself?
”

Gert nearly dropped her piece of onion.

That was it, wasn't it?

Todd
had
asked her lots of questions about herself, especially the night that she had finally told him about Marc. Maybe he'd said all that to try to get into her pants again. A seduction book would tell him to act exactly the way he had acted. And now, for him, the chase was over.

But Todd didn't seem like that.

How could she know?

“He didn't dump me after the first time that he…uh…spent the night,” Gert said.

“I know,” Hallie said. “But it doesn't hurt to know as much as you can. You still haven't met this guy, Doug, he rooms with. Have you ever talked to him on the phone?”

“I never call Todd's home number. He uses his cell.”

Hallie looked at her.

Gert felt stupid.

“You don't have an address, I suppose,” Hallie said.

“I do, somewhere. He sent me a card at work.”

Hallie brightened. “We could go to his place, knock on the door and see if a girl answers,” she said. “Then we'll leave.”

“What if a guy answers? He'll tell Todd we were checking up on him.”

“Doug's never met you, right? He won't know who you are. Or we can just say we're delivering something. Then we'll try to peer inside the apartment.”

Gert didn't know if this would work. It sounded like something Erika would suggest.

But she wanted to know. Now.

It was nuts, but it would make her feel
less
nuts to do it.

“What could we be delivering?” Gert asked.

“Flowers.”

“That's pushy,” Gert said. “Todd will get them when he gets home and he'll feel pressured.”

“How about a bottle of wine?” Hallie asked.

“He doesn't drink.”

“But
you
do.”

“Still pushy.”

“Oh! I know. We'll do a survey.”

“At eight o'clock at night?”

Hallie thought.

“I've got it!” she said, snapping her fingers. “We'll say we're thinking of moving into the building and we're knocking on
doors to see what the units are like. Doug, or whoever lives there, will have to invite us in.”

“To look at his unit?”

“It's brilliant!” Hallie said. “Credit, please. We can still go see a movie after.”

 

Like clockwork, Erika appeared as they were polishing off the last crescents of the beer-battered onion. Gert wasn't surprised that Erika showed up. She wondered if the girl had any other friends. Then Gert reminded herself that in New York, she didn't have many, either. She hadn't noticed when she was with Marc. They had socialized with neighbors and married couples and his associates, but she'd never really become good friends with them. Some of the women at the support group were nice. There was a retreat planned for the summer. She would go. She'd become better friends with them. Still, she wanted Chase to come back. Maybe she could make a better effort to find out what had happened to her.

“I'm sorry I'm late,” Erika said, sitting down. Her eyes were red, and her eyeliner was wet.

“Were you looking at Challa's Web site again?” Hallie asked.

Erika nodded. She bit her lip. “I still can't believe they're having another baby. Why can't I ever feel okay? Why can't I ever call up the Web log and find something that actually makes me feel like I did the
right
thing by breaking up with him? Then I wouldn't feel so bad. How come Challa can't write, ‘Dear Web log. Today Ben beat me. Also, he smells like bad cheese.'”

“Maybe the whole thing's fake,” Hallie said. “Maybe he
does
beat her, and she only keeps the Web log to put a sunny face on things. Maybe it's like her fake fantasy life that she…”

“Bullshit!” Erika said. “Stop trying to comfort me. You're about as comforting as Plexiglas.”

“Well, you can help me comfort Gert,” Hallie said.

“Comfort her about what?”

Hallie explained her plan.

Erika smiled. “Now you're talking,” she said. “Don't worry. You're in good hands. We're experts at this.”

Gert had a sinking feeling. Still, she now felt as irrational as Hallie and Erika often did. She wanted to
know.

 

Todd's building was on Washington Street in the West Village, not far from the Hudson River. Gert had never been that far west in the Village before. It was near 12th Avenue. It was quiet and seemed good for families, with little row homes and an elementary school.

Todd's building was old. It was pink with white trim, settled between two shorter brownstones. The three women walked into the foyer, and Gert noticed that they had those copper mailboxes with antique intercoms. She was sure Todd was delighted by this. Todd loved old things.

Damn,
she thought.
I like him.

Why did she have to start thinking about him now that he was about to dump her?

The elevator, too, was a classic. It required one to push the doors open and closed. Inside, the metal arrow pointed to the little numbers representing floors. Gert knew Todd probably loved this, too.

Ugh.

They stepped out into the hall. It was quiet. There were long opaque windows at both ends. They ambled down to apartment 4D.

Hallie knocked.

There was no answer.

Gert was glad, in a way. They'd go see a movie, she would go home, and there would be a message from Todd affirming their date for Saturday. Everything would be fine.

“Hold on,” Hallie whispered.

They heard footsteps. Gert tensed up. She almost didn't want to know. She wished she hadn't come here.

What if Todd was actually home? What if half the time he pretended he was away when he was simply shacking up?

The door opened. A tall guy with messed-up hair and half-closed eyes stood there in a red sweatsuit. As soon as he saw Erika, he straightened up.

“Sorry to bother you,” Hallie said. “We're looking to rent an apartment here, and we're meeting with the landlord tomorrow. We were hoping to look at some of the apartments first. Would you mind if we took a look around?”

The roommate shrugged. “I guess not,” he said. “It's kind of a mess, but…”

“That's okay. We're just curious.”

They entered slowly. The living room was dark yellow and pasty, with an orange couch that looked like it had been there for decades.

“That was here when we moved in,” Doug said.

“How lucky for you,” Erika said.

On a wall was a framed poster of a half-naked woman. She was wearing black leather pants. Gert hoped it was Doug's and not Todd's.

“Yours?” Hallie asked him.

Doug nodded. “It's a cover from a record,” he said. “I'm not obsessed with naked women or anything.” He looked at Erika. “I mean, depending on who.”

“Can we see your room for a sec?” Hallie asked.

He led them toward it. The four of them peered in. It was sloppy, with books and clothes everywhere, but the CDs were in a tower that stretched to the ceiling.

How very like a guy,
Gert thought.
The room's a mess, but the CDs are perfect.
Doug's mattress and box spring were on the floor, under dark drapes.

“I'm not into heavy decorating,” Doug said. “I just sleep here.”

“Do you have another bedroom?” Hallie asked innocently.

“Oh, yeah, my roommate's,” Doug said. “But he's never here.”

“Why not?”

“He works ridiculous hours,” Doug said, heading into the living room. “And when he's around, he's at his girlfriend's all the time.”

“
All
the time?” Erika asked. “Wow, they must keep really busy.”

“I guess,” Doug said. He stopped in front of Todd's door.

Erika said, “They must go at it like rabbits.”

Doug laughed. “I suppose.” Gert looked down.

“I'll bet they really wake the neighbors,” Erika said.

“All right!” Gert said.

Doug opened Todd's door.

Gert tensed up again.

The three of them peered in.

There were no pictures of girls on the wall.

Gert let herself breathe.

The room was small, with a single bed that was not made up. The shelves were neat enough. There was a laundry basket full of clothes. Todd had a framed poster of a DeLorean on one wall. It looked like it had been there for a while. The glass was dusty.

She thought she might ask Todd about it. But of course, she couldn't.

“Does your roommate
like
his girlfriend?” Hallie asked, standing in the doorway. Gert was annoyed. As far as she was concerned, the investigation had gone far enough.

“I assume,” Doug said, shrugging. “He's always over there.” He smiled again.

“What's her name?” Erika asked.

She tensed up again. What if he said another girl's name?

“I think it's…Gert, or Gertie,” Doug said. He shrugged apologetically. “Kind of old-fashioned.”

Erika played with a blue pamphlet she picked up on the radiator. It was called, “The War and the Second International.”

“Well, Doug,” Hallie said, shaking his hand, “you've been a real help.”

“Hey, you know my name,” Doug said.

“You said your name,” Hallie said.

“We're sure you said your name,” Erika said.

“You distinctly said your name,” Hallie said. “Or I saw it on the mailbox.”

“Okay,” Doug said. “Well, when you guys move in, come knock on my door.
Me cosa es su cosa, comprendi vous?
”

“Uh,” Hallie said. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Doug grinned.

“And thank your roommate for us, too,” Erika said. “Tell him to keep on giving it to this Gert woman.”

“Let's go,” Gert said.

 

Walking out of the elevator downstairs, Hallie said, “Well, now we know the truth. Todd doesn't tell his roommate about his secret girlfriend in Binghamton.”

“Oh, stop,” Gert said.

“No, seriously. Don't you feel better now?” Hallie put her arm around her.

Gert was a bit relieved. There had been some benefit to manipulation…well, maybe. If Todd ever introduced her to Doug, though, she'd have some explaining to do. “I guess I do feel better,” Gert said. “But he still might break up with me tomorrow. He's away and he doesn't care.”

“Well, we'll see the movie, and you'll forget all about it for tonight.” Hallie kept her arm around her, and Erika patted her other shoulder, and for a minute, she was part of a team.

 

The theater was moderately crowded. They had decided on a mindless adventure film that had just opened. Even if it cost seventeen dollars for the movie, popcorn and soda, it was just the therapy Gert needed.

But Gert felt cold in her short skirt. Hallie gave her her coat to drape over her knees.

The movie was over by eleven.

“It had its moments,” Hallie said as they descended toward the back exit.

“The one guy looked like Ben,” Erika said. “That bugged me.”

The crowd slowly squeezed out the back door. Gert accidentally stepped on the back of a woman's shoe. The woman gave Gert a nasty look.

The guy she was with turned around to Gert. “You just stepped on her shoe,” he said angrily.

“Don't tell us problems,” Erika said. “Give us solutions.”

“Excuse me!” the guy said. “What did you say? And why is it
your
business, bitch?”

Gert looked away. They were all going through the door. The guy was tall and heavy, with a chain around his neck. He looked at Erika, waiting.

“You know she didn't mean to step on her shoe,” Erika said. “And there are bigger tragedies than having your shoe accidentally stepped on. Just move along, asshole.”

The guy's eyes narrowed. His girlfriend hung on his arm and chomped on her gum.

“What did you say, bitch?” the guy said again, stopping. They were out back now, by the Dumpsters. Other people were moving down the alley.

“You shouldn't call women bitches just because they speak their mind,” Erika said. “See this girl you're with? Do you think she's a bitch? And don't look away, sweetie.” Erika looked at the girl. Gert just wanted to get out of there. “Why do you date a guy who calls women bitches? Do you think that's right, or don't you have a mind of your own?”

“You better—” the girl started, looking at the guy.

“You better shut your mouth right now,” the guy said, getting closer to Erika. “Or I'll show you how to mind your business.”

“We apologize,” Gert said. Her legs felt cold, and she felt vulnerable in high heels.

“Good; now I think
you
should apologize,” Erika said. “My friend's husband died a year and a half ago, and she's been through a lot.”

“Oh really?” the guy asked. “Is that why she's dressed like a slut to go to the movies?”

Gert looked down at her waist. She wanted to cry. She pushed her skirt over her legs.

“Well, you're dressed like a pimp!” Erika said. “And your girlfriend—”

Hallie grabbed Erika's arm. “Let's go,” Hallie said, and she and Gert pulled her away.