Statistic (11 page)

“Do you think your ex-husband may have a hand in this?” He asks, simply trying to get to the bottom of the situation. I should understand that this is his job, but I can’t help the rage boiling in me. I am over this day, this situation and being a fucking victim to the men in my fucking life. Yes, I am finally mad enough to swear for Christ’s sake. Why do I fucking deserve this shit?

“Colin isn’t smart enough to do something like this. Plus he has our son this weekend. I told you, I don’t know the writing on the note either. Do your job and find the sick fuck who did this for Christ’s sake!” I gasp when I realize my inner rage just spilled out into my actual words. I am actually kind of embarrassed by that, but it feels so good to get it out.

“I’m sorry. I’m just upset.” I apologize to the officer. He shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder.

“It’s okay Miss. I’ve dealt with worse. We’ll get to the bottom of this, or at least try. There isn’t much evidence left behind, but petty criminals like this typically trip up somewhere along the line.” He takes the note and heads for the door, leaving Jackson and I alone with Paul.

“I’m glad you weren’t home, Aurora.” Paul says.

“I don’t think someone would have done this if I actually had been here. I just don’t get it at all. Why me?”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Kiddo. There are just bad people in the world. I’m gonna call the security company and have the system here upgraded. It was about time anyway.” I know Paul is just trying to comfort me, make it so I am not blaming myself, but it’s so damn hard.

“I’m gonna stay at Jackson’s tonight. Liam doesn’t come home from Colin’s till tomorrow night. It will give me some time to be able to process this all before he gets back.”

Paul nods. “Don’t worry about sticking around, I will have my friend help me fix the door and we will take care of the glass. Go have a drink and try to relax a little bit. Like the officer said, whoever did this isn’t a criminal. They don’t know what they are doing and they will slip up and get caught.” I can only nod.

“Thank you, Paul.”

Ten minutes down the road we start to pull into one of the newer subdivisions in town. The houses aren’t as close together as most of the other new communities and for once I am actually finding myself wanting for a real home again. A house. A place I can buy and call my own without the worry of a landlord.

“This is a nice neighborhood,” I mention as we start to pull into the driveway of a brown and white colonial style home. The lawn is perfectly manicured, which isn’t unexpected in Jackson’s line of work. There are shrubs, and flowers bordering a brick walkway up to the front porch. The white wraparound reminds me of my dream house as a little girl. A few blocks away from my childhood home. We would ride our bikes past it and stake claim, wishing that one day it would be ours.

“It’s not much, but it’s all mine.” Jackson says as he parks the car in front of a spacious two car garage.

“Not much? This house is huge. And that lawn!”

He lets out a laugh. I am comfortable around him and even though we are still so new to each other, I feel safer at his house and with him more than I do in my own condo right now. How sad is that?

There are two guest bedrooms on the first floor and a futon couch in my office, which is across the hall from my bedroom upstairs.” He says as we get out of the car. I am unsure how safe I will feel on a different level of the house from him.

“Would you mind if I stayed in the office? I would feel more comfortable on the same floor. If that is okay?” God, I could go for a drink right now, just to take the edge off.

“Whatever you wanna do, Aurora, whatever is going to make you feel safest.” he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to his body. I feel safe right where I am. In his arms.

My phone chirps, alerting me of a text. I look down and notice it is from Brent.

What is with the cops?

My mind races wondering why exactly he is in my town. Wondering why he is driving by my house when he knew I wouldn’t be home all day. My suspicion increases, but then again, right now, I suspect anyone and everyone but Jackson because he was with me when it happened. I shrug my shoulders and feel bad because I know there is no reason for me to blame Brent or even suspect him of anything. He would never do anything like that.

Someone broke into my condo. Text you late with the details.

I don’t even want to think about it right now. I honestly want to relax in the bath and a glass of wine. I wonder if that is something Jackson would be able to arrange for me?

“Everything okay?” Jackson asks, and I realize I am just standing on the brick path staring at my phone, far off in outer space.

“Yeah, sorry about that. A friend drove by my condo and saw the police.” He nods and we start walking to the front door. “Would you mind if I take a bath and relax for a little bit? I am really worked up by this all.” I admit. I hate making myself vulnerable to anyone but I can’t help it. I need that outlet. That person to talk to about this all right now.

“Anything you want, Aurora. Whatever is going to make you get past this. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling.” His hand cups my chin and he places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

“Anything I want, huh?” I let out a small chuckle. “How about a glass of wine too? Happen to have any of that laying around?”

“No wine, but I could help numb the shit out of you with some Moonshine.” he laughs. And the funny thing is, I am totally going to take him up on it because right now, the only thing I want to feel is numb.

Three hours, a bubble bath, and three shots of moonshine later, I was finally starting to relax again. The alcohol helped to dull my racing mind. I could finally enjoy Jackson’s company instead of thinking about who wanted to scare me. I just hoped that I wouldn’t have to keep drinking to lose the memories of my torn up house. I didn’t want to move, but the more I thought about it, in the long run, it would be the best option for myself and Liam.

“Okay Chatty Cathy, it’s time to get you to bed.” Jackson laughs as he lifts me off the couch and starts to make his way to the stairs. I laugh at his cute nickname because I am sure in the course of the past three hours I have told him my life story. From my father who walked out on me and my mom when I was too young to remember the taillights of his truck, to my mother’s love affair with cheap boxed wine. Don’t get me wrong, she was a great mother. But, just like the rest of the world… she had her vices. Hers just happened to be alcohol as soon as she got home from work.

I guess my life could have been worse. She could have whored around. She could have had strange men breaking into her house the moment she thought dating would be a smart idea. Instead, my mother lived a lonely life. I am sure she blamed me for her sad existence most of the time. I can’t help but think how much better off Liam and I would be if I just gave up this whole dating and happiness pipe dream and focused on working and being an awesome mom.

But, then again… I don’t think I could truly be happy alone.

Sad to say, but it is just the kind of woman I am. Sucks huh?

As Jackson walks into the office across from his bedroom, he places my feet on the ground, and I cling to him as the room starts to sway. This would probably be a great moment to announce the fact that I am a lightweight, and I never drink more than a single glass of wine. Alcohol has never been my thing after watching my mother.

“Whoa there.” he grabs onto me, holding me tight against his body making sure I am not going to go off tumbling anywhere. “Shit,” Jackson mumbles as he looks over at the cluttered condition of the futon in question. “Can you stand for a few for me to clear this?” his eyes lock with mine and I just shake my head no and laugh. My laughter doesn’t stop either until the tears are streaming down my face.

“I’m… Oh god!” I continue to laugh like a teenage girl at a slumber party. “I’m so sorry but, I can’t.” the sad fact that I can’t even stand is probably the funniest thing that has happened to me in years.
I know, my life is pretty sad
.

“Come on,” Jackson picks me back up in his arms, and I quickly loop my arms around his neck as we move across the hall. He pulls the office door shut behind us and makes his way into the master bedroom. His bedroom. He is bringing me into his room. The worst part of it all is, I know that no matter what happens, I am not in the frame of mind to even understand the weight of the night we may or may not have.

“I can’t.” I whisper as the laughter begins to break. I know the fun is over, and my drunken mind is wandering down a dangerous road.

“Shhh… it’s okay. I’m just gonna get you tucked in. I’ll sleep on the futon.” Jackson reassures me and I let go of the tension in my body. He turns on the small light on the nightstand, illuminating the sprawling king size bed. It is a typical guy set up. Biggest bed he could buy with dark colored sheets and a hand full of crappy pillows. I smile thinking about the bachelor setup, but I can’t knock how he decorated the rest of the house. He didn’t do
that
bad with the rest.

With one arm he pulls back the sheets and lays me down. My body melts into the soft memory foam mattress. All my stresses of the day wash away as the comfort envelops my body. The only thing that would make this even better would be for Jackson to stay with me all night, but he is far too much of a gentleman to breach that. His strong hands tuck me in under the plush sheets and he places a single kiss on my forehead before turning to walk away.

My hand reaches out to grab him, pleading with him not to leave me. I don’t need the words because the tender, yet desperate action speaks for itself. I just don’t want to be alone after everything that has happened today. We could lay in bed in silence or share the stories of our lives. I would be completely content with either.

“Don’t go.” I say, and I can see the look of uncertainty on his shadowed face. The light only illuminates a few of his facial features, but I don’t need bright lights to see the inner debate. He is just as uncertain as I am about this all. “Just, lay with me. That’s all. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

His lips meet my hand, and he nods. “Okay.” is all he says. Dropping my hand he rounds the large frame of the bed, and begins to pull down the covers on his side of the bed. He pulls off his t-shirt first, then unbuttons his shorts letting them fall to the floor. I try not to stare at him as he stands across the room in nothing more than his boxer shorts. He looks good. Like, really damn good, but I need to get my mind out of the gutter. Nothing is going to come of this. Not tonight at least.

I think back to a couple days ago. The night I was so careless with Wesley and I instantly feel bad. I am not
that
kind of girl, but somehow this whole dating website thing slowly has begun to strip the few morals I have left. I don’t want to be that woman. Wesley made me feel alive in a way I never have had the opportunity to. But, at what cost? The guilt that has eaten away at me in the days following isn’t worth the few minutes of pleasure.

“Deep in thought over there. I hope it’s something good.” Jackson jokes. I don’t want to tell him about everything that has gone on, but for the first time in so long I feel this strong connection with another person and I feel like I have to purge everything. Including my long laundry list of suitors that have taken up the past few weeks of my life.

“Just have a lot in my head. Care to have a heart to heart?” I guess it is just the booze in me. Once upon a time Callie told me I was the most honest drunk ever. I think this was after I told her my opinion on the ugly wedding dress she picked. Thankfully, that whole drunk night has become more of a joke than something that could create a riff in our friendship.

Jackson climbs under the covers in nothing more than his boxers and props his head up with his hand, turning his full attention to me. “I’d love to. We could get to know each other a little better. I mean, we are in bed together already.” He lets out a laugh while winking at me and my nerves slowly begin to evaporate.

“I haven’t dated much since my divorce, but I told you that.” I turn on my side so I can face him in the bed. His eyes never come off of me while I continue with my confessions. “But, since I joined Fish in the Sea, I’ve dated. A lot. And against my better judgement, I’ve slept with one person. Which brings me to a grand total of two people I have slept with in my entire life. I’ve felt bad about it, because the more I’ve thought about my actions, the guiltier I’ve felt. It was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it. But, at the time it seemed like a good idea. Which again, is why I am a bad drunk because there was wine involved.” I am rambling, but I don’t care because these are all things I need to say. At least to Jackson.