Statistic (21 page)

I need her like I need oxygen to stay alive.

She doesn’t belong to him. She is mine and she has been since the day that I laid my eyes on her. I don’t know why she thinks she can escape me. Why she thinks that she can just do whatever she wants with whoever she wants.

It won’t be long.

I am coming for her.

I only hope that this time, she won’t fight me.

Because I would hate to hurt her the way I hurt the others.

I wanted to pitch a fit and leave Jackson for the night. But, I couldn’t. I had no right to be mad at him for the way he found out I had once talked with his brother on a dating site. The reality of it all was… out of all the men I had spoken with and dated, he was the last man who would be a threat to him.

So I stayed. After he bent me over like a two-cent hooker in his bathroom, essentially staking his claim to me, I slept in his arms for the entire night. Resting my head on his chest, he was still sound asleep. I listened to his heart beat against his chest and just enjoyed the peace and quiet the early morning hours provided me. For the first time in a while I was finally finding peace. I wasn’t scared about some nutcase creeping in the shadows. I wasn’t worried about losing or finding love. I wasn’t worried about that shitty dating site or if work was going to provide me enough clients to continue paying my bills.

For the first time since early in my marriage to Colin, life was good. Calm. Peaceful. And I was genuinely happy. Not the kind of happy where you put on a fake face and smile for those around you. But the kind of happy when you find yourself smiling without even thinking about it. Humming while you are doing laundry or cleaning the house because you are actually that content with life.

Jackson just fit into my life perfectly. He filled a void I didn’t even realize I had. His family was warm and welcoming. His mother most of all, accepting me for who I am and welcoming my son into the fold without even the opportunity to meet him. I can’t help but look forward to the moments I will be able to spend with them. As a family.

Jackson moved under my head, and I slowly get up hoping not to disturb him anymore on my way to the bathroom.

“Going somewhere?” he asks with a sleepy tone as he rolls over to investigate where I am heading.

“Just goin’ to the bathroom. Go back to sleep.” I say, and make my way to finally empty my bladder. I waited as long as I could. I didn’t want to bother him because he looked so peaceful. Content, as long as he was touching me in the bed.

When I return to the bedroom, he is sitting up in bed scrolling through his cell phone, typing away and catching up on whatever it is he needs to. He smiles when I return to the room wearing nothing but his t-shirt from the night before.

“You know, I really love you in my clothes. I think I am going to hide everything else you brought to the house so you have to wear that all day long.” he laughs as he nods in the direction of the bed.

“I told you to go back to sleep. It’s still so early.” Looking at the alarm clock next to the bed, it only reads quarter after seven.

“I’m up for the day. I can’t sleep past seven these days. Must be my body’s internal clock.”

“I have a lot to do over at the house today. What do you say after breakfast you walk me back home and help me out for a little bit?” I smile and hope he is up for building the new bookshelf I’ve had sitting in the box for a full week now. Something about a hammer, and screws don’t really sound too appealing to my new manicure.

“That works. I have to go across town at noon to pick up some sprinkler system pieces, but it shouldn’t take me more than a half hour.”

“Whatever works. I will use that time to catch up on some of my work, instead of making you complete my slave labor.” I joke with him, and he laughs.

Happy. This is what real happiness feels like.

“I will be back in about a half hour.” Jackson calls from the open front door of my house.

“See you then! WAIT! Can you grab me a sweet tea from Dustin’s on your way back?” I ask. I’ve been dying for some for the past couple days. I got so used to getting it daily when I still lived in the condo complex but now I am on the other side of town and I don’t have to pass by there on my daily trip to pick up Liam from daycare.

“That is fine. What time is Colin bringing Liam home tonight?” Jackson asks from the doorway. The two still haven’t met each other and I suggested he stick around tonight to finally break the ice between the two. I’ve met Jillian, so I know who is spending time with our son. I only see it fair for Colin to meet Jackson now that he is going to be spending more time with Liam.

“They should be here around four. But, you will be back by then.” I say.

“I should be back no later than one. Come give me some suga’.” he laughs from the doorway and I run to him giving him a kiss on the lips before turning around to go back to the open box of picture frames I am unwrapping for the gorgeous mantel I have to decorate.

“Don’t miss me too much,” I say as he makes his way out the door. I know I will miss him while he is gone, even if it is just for a few hours. What we have become is the relationship I have always dreamed of and it feels damn good. Minutes later I hear his engine come to life and the car back out of the driveway. I ignore it and continue to unwrap all the photographs I have had framed of Liam over the years.

His first picture in the hospital. I laugh to see how much he looked like Colin when he was born, when he looks nothing like him today. A picture from his first birthday, covered in the Mickey Mouse birthday cake from head to toe. What a nightmare that was to clean up. I laugh a little to myself thinking about the adorable milestone. Next a picture of his first steps across the living room of the home we shared as a family. His first swing in a swing at the park. The way his face lit up with sheer excitement and fear all at once. The first time he had his face painted like a Dalmatian at the state fair.

One-by-one I dust the pictures off and place them across the mantel, arranging them in terms of age from left to right. The last picture I pull out is the first picture of me and Liam in my condo. It was our first night officially moved into the small space, and finally out on our own. The ink on my divorce papers was barely dry and even though I had a bright smile on my face, it was fake. I was dying inside knowing that my marriage was over and everything I had with Colin was just a soon to be distant memory.

It is amazing how far I have been able to come in the time I have been on my own. My personal growth and healing has truly known no bounds. One thing I look back and am grateful for is all the time I took to work on myself, instead of jumping into the arms of another man, any man, quickly like so many other women do. I was able to find myself. Fix myself to an extent and heal enough to love and trust another man again. Jackson was that man and I was over the moon that I found someone I could share my life with without any reservations.

The front door opens and shuts quickly and I expect to see Jackson standing in the doorway, forgetting something but instead Brent stands with his back resting on the door. He looks tired and worn out.

“Hey, you okay? You look exhausted.” I make my way across the living room, filled with concern. After hearing about his mother and seeing his condition, it is clear he really just needs someone to take care of him. My motherly instincts kick in, looking to protect yet another person I have allowed to become such a fixture in my life.

He shakes his head no, but doesn’t say a word. His feet give out from under him and he sits with his knees bent on the floor, back still to the front door. I feel like I should run and call an ambulance, but I stay frozen, observing him and waiting for some kind of a cue as to what I should do. My mind races as I think of ways I can help him, but I have no idea what is actually wrong.

“Is Max okay?” I ask quietly as I take a couple more steps towards him. Only wanting to help the person I now consider my best friend.

“Yes,” he says quietly without looking up from the floor.

“What is wrong, Brent? Can I help you?” he shakes his head yes, but doesn’t say a word. He continues to look down at the floor never making eye contact with me.

“You picked him. You picked them all over me.” His words confuse me. I start to take a few steps backwards from him. His voice is strained, like he wants to cry but his words are all foreign to me. I don’t understand why he would be upset. We talked about this so many times. So, I question him because I feel comfortable and safe enough to engage him in whatever issue he is having.

“What are you talking about?” I need him to explain himself to me, because I am not following this at all. I thought we had agreed we wouldn’t work as a couple? Did he feel differently about it?

“You picked the other guys. The guy in the restaurant. The landscaper. Everyone but me, Aurora. You picked everyone but me and Max.” How dare he make this about Max when it has nothing to do with the boy. It has everything to do with two adults who went on one damn date and became great friends.

“I thought you only wanted to be friends? That is what you told me, Brent. I went by your cue. You know how much both you and Max mean to me. I can’t imagine my life without the two of you!” I continue to walk towards the kitchen, trying to put distance between Brent and myself, as well as find my cell phone. A few feet to the left and I could grab it and text Jackson to come back. I shouldn’t be scared of Brent, but for some odd reason, I am. He isn’t an intimidating man, but there is something off. Something wrong with him.

“They always turn me down. Girls like you. You are all too good for me. No one ever wants to stay, not since she died.” He mumbles. I grab my phone and send a text to Jackson before Brent notices exactly what I am doing.

Come back to the house. Emergency

Brent looks up at me, seeing the cell phone in my hand and begins to stand.

“Now WHY did you have to go and do that, Aurora? WHY did you DO THAT?” He yells. Slowly taking a single step at a time until he is zeroing in on me in the kitchen. I try to take a couple steps backwards but I trip over a box of pots and pans that should have been put away days ago. My cell phone goes flying, shattering against the stone flooring into a thousand pieces. My one hope for help is gone. Shit.

I try and reassure myself that Brent won’t hurt me. He would never do anything to hurt me. He is too good of a father to do something that would take his son away from him. He wouldn’t do anything that would jeopardize either of our children.

“Do what? Brent. What is wrong? Why don’t you just talk to me. Come on, let’s go sit down on the couch and have a conversation about everything. Clear the air, okay?” I try and talk him down as my heart thumps against my chest. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I am trying desperately to keep my breathing under control.

I remember all the things those bitches in horror movies do wrong. They fall and trip. Shit. I already did that. They scream uncontrollably even though they know no one can hear them. At least I can keep that under control right now. They let their attacker see fear in their eyes. I am doing my best to try and mask the fear coursing through my veins, but it is hard. So fucking hard.

Someone I called a friend is in my home having some kind of wild ride on the crazy train and I have absolutely no idea how to handle him or what the fuck to do. I slowly get up from the floor and start walking to the couch, sitting down in my usual spot and tucking my legs up under my body, as casually as I possibly can. Just like I have done every other night Brent has come over to watch a movie with Liam and Max.

“Come on, Brent. Come sit down so we can talk.” I wave him over, trying to hide the fear I am really feeling.

“What is there to talk about, Aurora?” He makes his way to the couch and stands at the other end without sitting down. “You are a whore. I’ve watched you with all these men. I’ve watched how little you respect yourself to let him have his way with you.” His eyes are no longer the bright blue I loved the first time we met, instead they are a dark grey. Stormy, clouded with hate and some other ugly emotions. His lack of rational is clear as day.