Stay (4 page)

Lucas turned away from her scrutiny. He rubbed a tight fist over the moisture on the window, frustrated as all hell. What did he remember and why did it matter so much? Syd poked him in the chest. He refused to look at her.

“Snow, I remember snow,” he said. I remember standing beneath that willow halfway to the ridge. It was night. I held you in my arms and I tasted snow.”

Syd placed a hand on either side of his face, forcing him to turn his head in her direction. “Yes,” she said, “That’s what happened when I brought you here. It happened the first night.”

Lucas wanted to tell her to quit talking about it, but he couldn’t. He loved the sound of her voice even when her words drove him insane. It was as if she was a magnet and he was a helpless piece of iron. No matter how hard he tried to pretend otherwise, he was drawn to her.

His brain might not remember her, but his body sure as hell did. Goddamn it.

He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her closer, close enough that she could feel every single iron-hard inch. He slid a hand along the nape of her neck, guiding her mouth back to his.

“Hey, what’s the hold up? I’ve been stuck behind you for five minutes.” The voice came from outside the pickup.

Syd jerked in his arms. She tried to wipe the condensation from the window. “Look what you did. You steamed up the windows.”

“Uh, I think it was a shared endeavor.”

Cass tapped his knuckles on the glass. “Get moving you two. I’ve got something for you.”

Despite his reluctance to let her go, Lucas helped Syd back into her seat. “I have a calf to feed anyway,” he said.

Stay

ass, can this wait? I want to change clothes and get out to the barn to help Wolf. One of the young cows had triplets this morning, two bull calves and a heifer. He’s got the heifer in a stall.”

The sheriff shook his head. He walked around to the bed of his truck. “The university returned this. It’s yours.” He lifted a strand of the gold-covered barbed wire.

“Shit.” She turned away and stared off toward the ridge. “I don’t want it. Tell them to keep it.”

“Use your brain, Syd. Think of the bills you and your father can pay off. Besides, this belongs to you whether you want it or not.”

“Not if I give it to the university, as a donation.” Syd spun back around way too fast. Dizzy, she grabbed for the side of the sheriff’s truck and held on with all her strength. “I don’t want it. Get it out of my sight.”

“Damn it, Syd, what the hell is wrong…?”

She didn’t hear anymore.

I have got to stop fainting. This is ridiculous
.

Syd shoved Cass’s helping hands away and hauled herself to her feet. “I wish everyone would just leave me alone.”

Without a backwards glance she stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her.

“You son of a bitch!”

Lucas ducked at the last second, just barely avoiding another punch to the jaw. He darted out of the sheriff’s reach, his sudden movement sending the full bottle of formula flying. “What the hell did I do now?”

Cass kept his fists raised. “C’mon. Let’s have this out once and for all. The way you treat Syd is a disgrace. You’re no better than a dirty low-down cur.”

Lucas danced away. “I’ve never done a damn thing to hurt that woman.”

“You should be ashamed of yourself. After all she did for you, risking her life and her career. She was willing to break the law for you, go to jail for you. She nearly blinded herself for your sake.” The sheriff stomped his booted foot on the floor. “Get your ass back here and face me like a man.”

Lucas raised his hands, palms open. “I don’t want to fight,” he said. “I’ve already been hit once today.”

Cass’s smile was evil. “Who beat me to it?”

“Dr. Benoit knocked me down in the parking lot at the hospital when I came to get Sydney.” Lucas rubbed his sore jaw. “If I remember correctly, and everyone around here seems to think my memory is pretty faulty these days, he called me a son of a bitch.”

“Good for him. I always knew that man had a set on him.” The sheriff lowered his fists. “You had to drive into town to get Sydney? Why? What happened?”

“She passed out during her shift.” Lucas kicked some hay over the spilled formula and searched for the bottle. “He says she’s anemic.”

“She just fainted out by my truck.”

“What?”

“Out by my truck, she keeled over.”

“Shit. Where is she?”

“I tried to help her but she told me to leave her alone. She’s in the house.”

Lucas set the bottle down on a post and headed toward the barn door. “Feed that calf, will you? There’s powdered formula in the milking shed.”

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’ve got to get some food into that stubborn woman before she kills herself.”

Syd sat on the floor of the shower, letting the hot water dilute her tears.

All I do is blubber. Everyone must be sick to death of me. I’m sick to death of me
.

Someone banged on the door. She figured it was Cass. She wanted to yell at him to go away, but she didn’t have the strength. She felt empty, drained of all life force or whatever it was that made a human being put one foot in front of the other.

They’d taken Wolf… Those creatures had taken him; that was bad enough, but to make matters worse they were sadists. Wolf had come back to her without any memory of his past life or previous incarnation. She didn’t even know what to call his previous existence. It was beyond her understanding.

Syd shoved a shock of wet hair from her face.

He said he’d give up eternity for me. What a crock. Now he can’t wait to get away from me. I don’t blame him, I’d run too. I’m a pathetic loser who never stops weeping
.

And stop that damn banging
.

The door flew open and Wolf stomped into the room. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, scaring me half to death? I thought you’d passed out in here.” He stopped in his tracks, staring unabashedly at her through the clear glass door.

Syd held his eyes. “Um, Wolf, I’m in the shower. Naked.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. He looked feral in that moment, very much like the old Wolf. “I can appreciate that.” He took a moment to adjust his jeans. “I think you do this to me on purpose.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You have to get out of the shower and eat something.”

“The hell I do.” She waved a hand at him, dismissing him. “You’re not the boss of me, Lucas Jennings.”

He grinned like a devil. “You said my name, Sydney Blake.”

Syd couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. “I did, didn’t I? Well how do you like those apples?”

“C’mon.” Lucas reached for a bath towel. He opened the shower door and lifted her from the tile floor. “Up you go.”

He took care to wrap the towel around all her exposed parts, but Syd noticed that didn’t stop him from getting a closer look first. She could hear the hitch in his breathing; see the obvious bulge stretching the front of his jeans.

“Maybe you should kiss me again,” she said.

“Maybe I should, but I won’t.” He flashed her that wicked grin once more. “Not until you’re dry and fed and tucked into bed. Maybe then you’ll have earned a kiss.”

“I’m not the one who has to stop doing anything,” Syd said. “You need to stop doing this to me.”

“Doing what?”

“Giving me hope.” Syd let him dry her off, taking perverse pleasure in the fact of his overt arousal. She turned her back to him so he could help her with her robe. When he unexpectedly smacked her bare bottom she jumped in shock and spun on her heels.

Only Wolf would be so brazen.

“Sorry,” he said, “I don’t know why I did that.” He looked surprised at his own action, but not at all repentant.

“It’s not the first time you’ve done it.”

Syd waited for him to get angry, but he merely said, “You must be talking about that other fella, but I have to admit he has good taste. Don’t take this the wrong way, Sydney, but you sure have a nice ass.”

She tried to suppress a grin, but failed. “I think I’d prefer to take it the wrong way.” She knew Wolf was right there below the surface in that sexy cowboy body, just itching to get out, but she couldn’t push things too far, not yet. Lucas wasn’t quite ready for the full Monty. “What are we having for supper?” She sniffed the air.

“Steak, potatoes, green beans, salad and chocolate ice cream.”

“Sounds good.” She trailed him to the kitchen. She had an appetite for the first time in a long time. “Hey, wait, if you’re in here cooking, who’s feeding the calf?”

“Cass.”

Syd dropped into a chair and closed her eyes. “Oh shit, Cass.”

Lucas opened the broiler to turn the steaks. “What’s the problem? He knows his way around the barn.”

“It’s not that.” She shook her head. “It’s something else. We can talk about it later. If I talk about it now I’ll lose my appetite.” She changed the subject. “You know that cow is a triplet, too. Obviously it’s genetic. It would be nice to find a mother for the heifer but that means we lose a baby. How are the two bull calves?”

“Tough little fellows. I suspect they’ll do all right. I’ve got them in the pasture behind the barn so I can keep an eye on them; make sure the mother has enough milk.” He sat down across the table from her. “Don’t do that again.”