Stay (24 page)

Once we got home, Jeremy gave me the cold shoulder.
This was happening way too much for my liking. He knew about my
sudden friendship with Hayley, even though I never once brought her
home to avoid weirdness that it would cause. Besides, he had no
right to judge me. Maggie hurt me. She hurt me bad, but even I had
my secrets.

I sank onto my bed with my phone in my hand, staring
at the picture on my nightstand of Maggie and I for several
minutes. I should’ve taken it down weeks ago, but I couldn’t bring
myself to do it.

Screw it! My heart couldn’t be anymore dead than it
already was.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” She typed back instantly.

“Then come home to me. I want to put my arms around
you. I want to feel your body next to mine. I want to pretend like
neither one of us fucked it all up. I need to know if you’re still
mine.”

“Who was that girl today?”

“Nobody you ever need to worry about again. I need
you, Blue!”

“I’ll be there in 15.”

Maggie showed up, which freaked Dean and Jeremy out
for a quick second. It wasn’t until I came out of my room smiling
that everyone took a step back and relaxed. She grinned as she came
closer to me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. Dean and Jeremy
coughed a few times, but we ignored them. Once I had a firm hold of
her, I picked her up, guiding her legs to wrap around my waist. I
kissed her quickly, and then faced the guys.

“Jer, man. You might want to leave for a while.
Because I make no promises that you won’t hear your sister in about
five minutes screaming out my name.” He looked like he wanted to
kill me for a split second but then he grabbed the pillow off the
couch and tossed it at me.

“Don’t talk about my sister like that, man.” The he
grabbed his keys, walking out with Dean following closely behind
with a smile on his face.

The next morning, I woke with a smile and hard-on.
Maggie was curled up with her backside pressed up against my
stomach, and I was deliriously happy for the first time in a long
time. I could hear the rain tapping the window. It was one of those
days I didn’t want to leave the bedroom. As thrilled as I was to
have Maggie back, I felt like I couldn’t really be sure of where
this was all leading to if I wasn’t completely honest with her. She
needed to know my secret. The secret I never wanted to say out
loud, and hoped to hell she’d forgive me for. I know she hated the
son of a bitch, but that didn’t mean it would make it hurt any
less.

She rolled over after I teased her neck with kisses
a few minutes later. “Hey,” she mumbled sleepily. I loved her sexy
morning voice.

“Hey,” I answered back.

“What should we do today?” She wrapped her hands
around my neck.

“Whatever you want. You lead, I’ll follow.”

“Right now, I need coffee.” She pecked my lips, and
then sprang from the bed. She was still naked from last night so I
thought about pulling her back down, but she threw on clothes that
she grabbed from her bag. I watched as she shimmied into her black
panties. It was hot as hell.

I followed her out to find Dean sprawled out on the
couch watching Sports Center.

As she poured two cups, she gave me a soft smile.
“What’s that face for?” I asked her.

“Well, we didn’t get a chance to talk last night, we
just had sex. A lot of sex.”

I crept up to wrap my arms around her. “Are you
complaining?”

She tilted her head back onto my shoulder. “No. It’s
just... I’m sorry, Luke. I feel like all I do is apologize anymore.
I don’t know how to make it better. I want to fix it but I don’t
know how.”

I spun her around. “Listen, Mags. I had a lot of
time to think when I took off. I have my demons too. I was so
selfish about how I handled everything. And I know I thought we
were all over-maybe you did too. But, I want to start over. I want
a clean slate.”

Her eyes glistened. “You do, really?”

I kissed the tip of her nose. “Yeah, but if we want
this to work, there can’t be any more secrets between us.
Okay?”

She nodded emphatically.

“I need to tell you something first, Blue.” I was so
nervous so get this out. No one knew. “It’s about your dad.”

Her hopeful face turned sullen. “I don’t want to
talk about him. It’s not important.”

“It is to me.”

She looked away, taking a painfully long sip of her
coffee. Then she hesitantly glanced into my eyes with a face so
sad, I almost couldn’t say it. But I had to.

“I’d just lost my family. It had been so new and raw
still. I knew where he hung out to drink, and I went there to start
a fight. I hated him, Maggie. I felt like he took everything away
from me.”

Her face went pale as she took it all in, and then
dropped her mug to the floor. Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my
god.”

Dean was now hovering over the two of us, and Jeremy
had appeared from his bedroom yelling at us to keep it down. Maggie
glanced at me one last time, and then ran outside into the pouring
rain.

“Shit,” Dean muttered.

He went to go after her, but I pushed him back. “No,
man. This is all me.” I saw Jeremy from my peripheral vision moving
closer, but I didn’t care. I hoped to God I didn’t lose him when he
found out what I’d done. I stepped outside, getting soaked. Maggie
was standing in the street, head tilted to the sky, the rain
drenching her.

I caught up to her. “Maggie, please. Listen.”

She turned abruptly. “I thought he had a heart
attack. Are you saying that’s not what happened?” I thought she was
crying, but it could’ve been the rain instead of tears.

“He did. But I confronted him. I told him
everything. I told him I knew what a piece of shit he was, that I
hoped he burned in hell. I don’t know, baby, I was really drunk and
upset, but yeah, I went after him. I even punched him. They had to
pull me off him. He died two days later. I think I did it. If
anyone killed him, I think it was me.”

She stood in the rain staring at me, taking it all
in, not moving. After several long, quiet minutes, she finally
spoke. “That’s a lot to process, Luke.”

“I know it is. But I needed to tell you if we’re
going to do this. I hope you don’t hate me for it. I loved you, and
I wanted him to know that you spoke up. That you might have been
afraid of him, but I wasn’t. If you hate me, I understand. I’ll
walk away. I’ll hate it, but I’ll do it.”

Her head dropped, and then she lifted it slowly,
running her hands through her soaked hair. “I don’t hate you.”

I cupped her face with my hands. “Maggie, please? I
can’t live without you. You’re the air that I breathe. You’re the
beat to my heart. You’re the smile on my lips. You are everything
to me. You always have been.”

Now I could tell they were tears and not raindrops.
She was crying hard, and I just wanted her to stop. I wanted to
hold her, to take care of her-to fix her. “Baby, please. Stay. I’m
begging you to stay.”

Her eyes fixed on mine, not moving. “Do you know
what I hate?”

I shook my head, water dripping into my eyes, down
my face. Maggie wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.

“I hate how much time we wasted when we could’ve
been together. I hate him for that. I hate how much I hurt you. I
hate that I left you. I hate how selfish I was. I hate that I
didn’t trust you enough to take care of me, to trust in us. But
most of all, I hate that I didn’t tell you about our baby. And now
he or she is gone.”

“I don’t care about that anymore, Blue. All I care
about is you saying yes. Say it, Mags. Say you’ll stay with me
forever.”

Her hands wrapped around my neck. “I never left you.
I just took a really long detour until I found you again.”

She jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my
waist. I gripped underneath to hold her, and kissed her. We kissed
forever as it poured down on us, washing away the pain and time
we’d lost.

Chapter 23

Maggie

“Do not move one muscle. Don’t even breathe.
Do you three understand me?” They were all standing outside the
door to the apartment, panting from shooting hoops.

Luke grinned. “Damn, girl. It smells good in
there.”

I poked him in the chest, while Dean and Jeremy
laughed. “You make one noise Luke Matthews and you are sleeping on
the couch. I need five minutes.” Jeremy went to step around Luke,
but he stopped him from entering. “In five minutes you three can
come in, but not before then.”

“What the hell are we supposed to do, sit outside?”
Jeremy frowned.

Luke yanked him behind him. Dean was already sitting
on the front step. “Go sit down.” When Jeremy sat net to Dean,
Luke’s eyes came back to me. “Come get us when it’s done.” He
kissed the tip of my nose, and then sat down with his friends.

I smiled and retreated back into the apartment,
grinning that I would finally pull this off. I hadn’t tried to make
a soufflé in years, but it was finally time. The pastry class Luke
had gotten me to take gave me back the confidence and the desire to
try it again.

The soufflé was sitting on the stovetop, cooling.
These were the moments in could all collapse and turn to an
unappetizing pile of nastiness. The four ramekins were still in
tact when I crept into the kitchen. I knew they needed to be served
within the next few minutes for the best flavor because it really
was when a soufflé was at its best.

It was time. After placing their individual ramekins
down on the counter, I opened the door. “Okay, you guys can come
in.” I stood back as the filed through and headed straight to the
stools. They all smiled, clinked forks, and then dove in.

“Christ! What is this, Maggie?” Dean asked.

“It’s a cheese soufflé. Do you like it?” I almost
didn’t ask for fear that they would spit it out, or that I didn’t
get the eggs whipped properly.

“What kind of cheese? This is so good.” Dean
continued. Jeremy and Luke hadn’t said a word, but Luke’s face said
enough. He was proud of me, and enjoyed my efforts.

I turned to Dean. “It’s a combination: Gruyere,
Stilton, and cheddar. So you like it then?”

They all nodded. “Like it? No, Blue. This is love.
It’s the best dish you’ve ever made, baby.” Luke stood, pulling me
into his arms, and then kissed me.

That was enough for me. Now that I finally pulled it
off, I would be making every kind of soufflé recipe that I could
find. Funnily enough at that moment life felt full circle. My three
favorite people were gathered around a table being my guinea pigs
just like the times back in high school. I smiled, and wiped back
the tears that were brewing but Luke noticed my expression. He
pulled me onto his lap, wrapped me in a bear hug, and then fed me
my first bite of cheesy heaven.

After tasting a few more bites I did a little happy
dance on Luke’s lap. His fingers bit into my waist. “Baby, you keep
that up and we’re heading straight for the bedroom.”

Jeremy and Luke rolled their eyes, but both stood a
beat later. Jeremy frowned, but Dean smiled. “We’re going to get
something at the store. We should be gone at least one hour.” Dean
winked. God I loved him. Dean pulled Jeremy out the door, and then
Luke lifted me into his arms leading us toward our room.

“Maybe we should think about getting our own place?”
I asked.

Luke grinned. “Blue, I’d buy you the damn moon if
that’s what you wanted.”

He tossed me gently on the bed. His arms trapping me
as he hovered. “I’m serious, Luke. They keep leaving every time we
have sex. I feel bad.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “Okay, we’ll go look
over the weekend.”

I smiled. “Really?”

“Blue, I would do anything to keep that smile on
your face. We’ll get whatever you want.”

“I love you so much, Luke.”

His fingers slipped my strap off my shoulder, and
then he delicately kissed my shoulder. “I love you too, Blue,” he
murmured between kisses.

“Where should we look? Should we stay in this area
or do you want to move a little closer to your new job?”

“Baby?”

“Or maybe we should head back to the suburbs.”

He pecked my lips with his. “Shut up and make love
to me.”

I threw my arms around his neck. “Well, when you put
it that way.”

Epilogue

It was incredible how things worked
themselves out. I was back where I belonged. With Luke. When he
took off after I’d told him about the baby, I felt like the world
was caving in around me. I had no choice but to move home with my
mother. This turned out to be a good thing.

I honestly never believed my mother and I would ever
see eye to eye, never have a good relationship, but it kind of
happened. In the short time I lived with her, she pulled me from
the dark side I was heading down, and straightened my ass out. I
would never know if she’d told me the truth about not knowing what
my dad did to me. I needed to believe her to move on. She finally
accepted the truth, as painful as it was to hear. She finally
listened to me.

She cried. I cried. But they were all good tears,
and somehow those tears mended me a little. I’ll never forget what
my father did to me. But I could move on. Somehow I found the
strength to move past it. I could let it go and live the life I was
meant to.

Luke finding his way back into my arms and my bed
was a massive bonus. I never thought he’d forgive me for taking
away something that meant so much to him. Obviously, at the time I
had no idea of the tragedy he was going to face-I would never have
left. But, I’ve become a big believer in fate and destiny. Things
happen for a reason.

***

An entire year passed. Luke kept his promise and we
had rented an apartment in the same complex to stay close to Jer
and Dean. However, Jeremy has gotten serious with an awesome girl
name Katie. We all loved her, and thought he was finally settling
down some. At least for now. Luke scored an awesome job at a
brokerage firm that he loved, and Dean was still dating Taylor and
going strong. Life was good.