Stay With Me (6 page)

I lowered my eyes, certain I wouldn’t be able to take Andrew’s cutting gaze.

“I didn’t realize Zoe was married,” he said in a low voice, speaking as though I weren’t there.

“Oh, she’s not!” she continued. “Zoe’s a single mother. Where’s the bathroom?”

I motioned toward the back. I would have gladly accompanied her to throw her in the toilet and flush. Instead I remained seated. All of my courage had vanished. Ashley had succeeded in turning my life upside down.

“So you have a daughter?” he coldly asked.

I nodded.

“And she’s three.”

“Yes . . .” I was about to say more—I don’t know what—but he didn’t allow me to continue.

“You didn’t lose any time, Zoe.” His words were glacial. He moved closer, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. “And that’s the reason I didn’t find you at home that night? You were looking for someone to take my place? Who’d fuck you the way I did?” he hissed.

“Andrew, I—”

“You probably screwed him while you were with me. I should have realized the type of woman you are. It doesn’t surprise me the father of your daughter left you. I’m only sorry for your child—”

“Done!” Ashley declared, interrupting Andrew’s tirade.

I looked at him in horror. I wanted to smack him, have him eat every disgusting word he’d spat. Instead I remained still, petrified, without moving a muscle.

Before his rant, I was about to tell him I wanted to talk to him in private, so that I could explain everything. I was even ready to apologize.

Instead, he’d attacked me without knowing anything, conjuring utterly false scenarios.

“So did you think about my proposition?” Ashley was radiating. She knew she’d hit the bull’s-eye. That was her intent. However, if she only knew who Olivia’s father was, that asshole smile of hers would quickly disappear.

“I’m sorry, Ashley, but my answer is no,” I said, almost snarling. “Ask one of your
many
friends. And my daughter certainly won’t be your flower girl. You don’t even know what she looks like! I’ll tell you something else: you can cross my name off your wedding list, because I won’t be there.”

“What’s your problem, Zoe? Are you upset you won’t be the center of attention for once? I didn’t think you were so selfish!”

This girl would definitely drive me either to the nuthouse or to jail. The desire to strangle her was so strong that I was surprised I managed to control my hands.

“You’re insane, Ash.” I thanked God that only Lauren and a regular customer were in the café to witness the spectacle. “I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.” I wanted her out of my café as soon as possible and turned my back on both of them. “You know where the exit is.” And without waiting for a response, I went back to the kitchen.

“They left,” Karen said.

“Olly should be arriving soon, so have her come back here.”

“OK. If you need anything, call me,” she said, and left me alone.

I continued to beat some eggs in a bowl without remembering why I was doing it. Maybe it was just to calm myself down. My little girl was about to arrive any minute, and I certainly couldn’t have her see me so shaken up. I couldn’t wait to hug her, to smell her honey scent, to hear her tell me she loved me.

Andrew’s words swirled in my head:
“You probably screwed him while you were with me.”

How could he think that?

Did he really know me so little?

I shook my head and thought about the absurdity of his statement. If he’d known the truth, he wouldn’t have spoken so cruelly. If he only knew how much time and effort it had taken before I could give myself to another man.

Three years.

I’d met Jeff at the pediatrician’s. He was thirty-three, divorced, captivating, but horribly stifling. And I didn’t want to commit to anyone. Not when my heart belonged to Andrew.

Jeff and I dated for a couple of months, and the sex—which was what I needed the most—was disappointing. Or maybe it was that my expectations were too high, because making love with Andrew was like reaching the top of the Transamerica Pyramid, then diving down with your eyes closed.

With Jeff, it wasn’t even close. And he’d been the first and only one after Andrew.

Despite breaking up over a year ago, he still came to the café at least a couple of times a week to ask me to give him another chance. But I was torn from those thoughts by the back door slamming.

“Zoe!”

I dropped the bowl on the table, surprised by the intrusion and tone of Andrew’s voice.

“What do you want?” I asked, focused on cleaning up the splattered eggs.

“No, what do
you
want? Why did you have to treat Ash that way?” he asked furiously.

“How cute. You came to defend your sweet little fiancée,” I said without looking up.

“I don’t recognize you anymore.”

I turned to him in a flash and glared at him. “You never knew me, Andrew. Just like you don’t know the person you’re about to marry,” I said. How dare he? Who did he think he was coming in here and accusing me of anything?

“I know Ashley!” he retorted, raising his voice. “If anything, it’s you who forgot how much she suffered.”

“How much she . . .” I couldn’t even finish.

“Suffered, Zoe! God, I didn’t think you were such an egomaniac. You’re like a sister to her, from what she’s told me, and you treated her as though she were a horrible person.” He ran his hand through his hair. It was a sign his frustration had reached its limit. “You know how much she suffered because of the death of her father.”

“She told you?” I whispered.

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “She’s my fiancée.”

“And what did she tell you?”

“She told me about his accident. How difficult it was for her to get over the loss.”

“Just that? She didn’t tell you anything else?” I already knew the answer, because contrary to Andrew, I knew Ash too well, and if there was anyone in the world who had no scruples about changing important details—even concerning the premature death of a parent—it was her.

“Should she have?” he asked skeptically.

“No, of course not.”

“Will you please be her maid of honor?”

How could he ask me that? Was he really that blind?

What hurt more, though, was to see how he fought for her. How he loved her. It was obvious.

Ashley had succeeded where I’d failed. The man who owned my heart and my soul was in love with someone else.

“Andrew, I—”

The pastry kitchen door suddenly opened and Olly appeared like a hurricane, running to hug me.

“Mommy!” She squeezed me tight. “
I
have so many tings
to tell you
!”

Andrew could only see Olivia’s little head and her straight black hair.

“Where’s Aunt Mag?” I asked.

“She had to go. She come back later.”

I smiled and bent down to her height to place a kiss on her forehead. “Love, go ask Karen for a muffin. I’ll be right there.”

“Yay.” She clapped and turned quickly. Only then did she notice Andrew. His eyes widened and he stepped back. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it.

He understood.

“Who are you?” Olly asked. Andrew remained silent with the expression of someone who’d just seen a ghost.

“He, love,” I calmly explained, “is the fiancé of Aunt Josy’s daughter, Ashley.”

“The one Aunt Alys calls a ditz?”

If it hadn’t been for the dramatic nature of the situation, I would have burst into a hearty laugh.
Children are frighteningly honest.

“Olly, you know you’re not supposed to repeat what Aunt Alys says.”

“Sorry, Mommy.” Then, staring at Andrew, she asked, “Do you know you have eyes like mine?”

He looked at her, as pale as a ghost, then focused on me. The moment had come, and it had arrived in the worst way possible.

“Olly, go to the front. I’ll be right there.”

She nodded and skipped out of the kitchen, leaving Andrew and me alone to face the inevitable.

“Andrew, I . . .”

“Be quiet,” he said, keeping me in my place with a look full of hate. “I have to go. Ash is waiting for me in the car.”

“Andrew—”

“Be quiet!” He punched the counter. “I expect you this evening at nine. You know where.”

And he walked out, leaving me there to think about what awaited me that evening.

6

Night had fallen onto San Francisco, and fortunately there wasn’t a lot of traffic. I arrived at our meeting place twenty minutes before nine, but while standing at the reception desk, I felt overcome by a deep anxiety.

I only needed to say a few words, yet it felt like someone had stolen my voice.

“Madam, may I be of assistance?” The woman at the desk looked to be slightly over thirty and was dressed in a black suit and ivory blouse. Her hair was gathered in a tight chignon, and she wore a pair of thinly framed glasses.

“Mr. Cooper’s room. He’s expecting me,” I said quietly.

“Miss . . .?” she asked professionally.

“Evans.”

She looked in the computer for confirmation, then nodded.

“Here’s the magnetic key to the room. Mr. Cooper is expecting you. You need to go—”

“I know where to go, thank you.” I smiled at her while grabbing the little gold card. The woman bid me goodbye with a nod, and I stepped into the elevator with shaking legs, headed toward my destiny.

I stood, staring at the door I knew all too well, without finding the courage to enter. My hand remained suspended in the air. I was afraid.

Of him.

Of me.

Of us.

Of Olivia.

Of my love that had never died.

Of what the suite represented.

My mind returned to that first night . . .

“Hi,” I said quietly, intimidated about being in unknown territory.

His suite at the Mandarin Oriental.

“Come on, I’ll show you around,” he said, resting his hand on the small of my back. The contact transmitted an electric charge that traveled all along my body, taking my breath away.

Never had a man had such a hold on me. It was an entirely new feeling. Almost primordial. I wanted him. In the last three days I hadn’t done anything other than think about him: his eyes. His smell. His kiss. Andrew drove me out of my mind.

I didn’t pay much attention to what he was showing me. I was too taken with him, observing him as he moved through every room with such naturalness, as though he were at home and not in some temporary accommodation.

“And this is why I still haven’t asked you to take off your coat . . .” He opened the sliding doors to a terrace that wrapped around the entire suite, and I realized his lodgings took up a better part of the penthouse.

The view was phenomenal. The ocean seemed so close, and it was beautifully lit by the city lights.

I got closer to the parapet to get a better look.

“It’s gorgeous!” I said.

He nodded as he came closer to me and looked out in front of him.

“How long will you be here?”

“I don’t know. It depends on how much time I’ll need to take care of business.”

“Do you travel a lot?” I asked. I wanted to know more than what I’d read on the Internet.

“Yes, since I finished college and became part of the company.”

“Where did you go to college?” I asked, taking my eyes off of the ocean and turning toward him. His eyes were sparkling. They seemed almost silver. Magnetic. He didn’t turn, but remained staring at the horizon.

“Yale. And you?”

“I only finished high school . . .” I said, somewhat embarrassed.

He turned toward me. “What got in the way of your going?”

I grew stiff. “I had some family problems.”

He turned again to look out at the water, and I did the same.

“Do you have anyone else?” he asked.

“No,” I replied dryly.

“Good. It’ll be easier,” he remarked with a smile.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll be available when I want to see you,” he said, as though it was obvious.

“And what makes you think I would want to see you again?”

He took my hand, pulled me toward him, and ran his other his hand through my hair. I bent my head, giving him full access to my neck.

He bent down and rested his lips on my skin. “After tonight, you’ll want more . . .” He bit my flesh, causing me to moan. “And more. You’ll never have enough,” he concluded, causing
goosebumps to run up and down my body.

“Andrew . . .” I gasped while he continued inflicting that sweet torture.

“It’s time to show you my bedroom.”

I didn’t understand how just a moment ago I was on his terrace, and now I was in his bedroom. He looked at me as though I were warm honey and he a famished bear.

He took off my coat, allowing it to fall to the ground, and cupped my face with his hands as he leaned down to kiss me. But he stopped when he got less than an inch away.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, making circles on my cheeks with his thumbs. “I haven’t done anything else other than think about this moment.” His hands came down slowly until they reached the collar of my blouse. Infinitely, slowly, he started to undo the buttons, one by one.

I felt the beat of my heart accelerate every time a button came free.

He lowered himself and placed a kiss in my cleavage. “Your skin . . .”

“My skin what?” I gasped, unable to move.

“It’s delicious.” He continued kissing me, rubbing his nose on my right breast. “You taste like vanilla and cinnamon.”

“It’s . . . the sweets. I like to bake.” I flinched when he pushed away my lace bra with his teeth.

“You’re a little pastry, and what I want above all else is to taste you.”

He took my nipple into his mouth and I let my head fall back. “Oh, Andrew.”

He moved down toward my belly and played with my belly button with his tongue. With every caress, my need for him grew uncontrollably inside of me.

He lowered the zipper to my jeans and lifted one leg out, then the other. I felt his fingers everywhere: on my calves, thighs, butt. Andrew was everywhere.

I lowered my gaze and saw him on his knees, with his face level with my . . .

“Andrew, what—” I was out of breath when his fingers pushed away my panties and began moving slowly in my center.

“Wait . . . ah . . .” When his tongue took the place of his fingers, I let out a small scream.

In one quick gesture, he lowered my underwear, widened my legs, and resumed setting the pulsating flesh between my legs on fire.

He moved away a few inches. “God, you’re a narcotic. You’re so sweet.” He licked me as though I were dessert. “So hot, so . . . tight . . .” A finger, immediately followed by another, pushed inside of me and made me gasp.

“I want to feel you come.” He continued to lick me, stopping at my clitoris. “In my mouth, on my hands . . .”

It was only a second later and I was on fire. Another scream came out of my mouth, while the most powerful orgasm I’d ever felt erupted inside of me. I grabbed on to his shoulders, shaking with spasms.

“Yes, baby, like that.”

I regained my breath and he stood in front of me. I was completely naked while he was completely dressed.

I tilted my head and smiled. “Isn’t it time we relieve you of this useless clothing?” I said it with a brazenness that didn’t belong to me, but after what had just happened, I had nothing to lose or keep concealed.

I took a step toward him and extended my arm to grab the edge of his sweater, but he blocked my wrists, grinning.

“I’m the one in charge here, baby.”

He literally threw me on the bed and I watched as he rushed to get undressed. I remained transfixed at the sight of his body.

Perfect.

His abs were sculpted, but not excessively so. His legs were muscular, and then . . .his penis . . .

It was magnificent.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re amused by what you see?”

“No, I was just thinking.”

“About what?” he asked, as he opened a drawer and took out a condom.

“About your penis,” I admitted.

As he opened the nightstand drawer, he turned to me and raised an eyebrow. “Is there something funny about it?”

I shook my head. “No, no! I was just thinking it’s marvelous.” I pointed to his lower abdomen, my cheeks beet red from the embarrassment. “And it seemed silly to me.”

He tore a condom wrapper and placed the condom on his tip, rolling it out to its entire length.

I licked my lips, finding the sight extreme arousing.

“I’m happy you like it,” he said as he climbed onto the mattress and got closer to me.

“I would have liked to play lots of other games with you tonight, but we’ll have to postpone them.” He opened my legs with his knee. “My desire to sink inside of you is too great.”

He ran his hand between my legs, and I remained there looking at him as though I’d been hypnotized. The blue of his eyes changed colors according to his mood, and in that moment his irises became lighter.

They looked as blue as a clear sky.

“Are you ready for me . . .”

His tip was pressed against my entrance, gently pushing into me.

I felt a little pain. A few months had gone by since I’d last had sex, but Andrew was careful to move in a way that allowed me to gradually adjust to his size.

“God . . .” he moaned. “Are you sure you’re not a virgin?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” I started gasping as soon as his movements became quicker and more decisive.

“You’re perfect.”

Grabbing my ankle, he lifted my leg onto his shoulder. In that position I could feel everything.

I let myself go with him, completely, following his thrusts. It was crazy how we became one. It didn’t seem like it was the first time his body was getting lost inside of mine.

I’d never experienced anything so intense. I wanted to keep going for much longer, but the wave of heat in my lower abdomen kept growing hotter, and I couldn’t help coming again, followed by him shortly after.

“Zoe . . .” His hoarse voice made me tremble. The crazy thing was that I hadn’t had enough. I wanted him again.

Andrew rolled over, breathing heavily, and looked at the ceiling. For a few minutes, he didn’t say anything.

“Are you on the pill?” he asked out of the blue.

“Yes,” I answered, taken by surprise.

“Good, we’ll go get blood tests.” He stroked the inside of my thigh, causing me to get excited again, even though what he’d said hadn’t been one of the most sensual things I’d ever heard. “And then I’ll finally be able to really feel you . . . feel you entirely.”

I didn’t say anything. I just nodded. My body was already his. It had been enough for him to touch me to brand his name on my skin.

In that moment, I didn’t know he’d also engrave his name on my heart.

“Everything OK, young lady?”

A voice behind me brought me back to the present, and I turned to find the butler for the floor assessing me. He wasn’t very tall, and had white hair and a round belly.

“Yes, of course,” I responded.

“Are you having a problem with the magnetic key?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” I answered, as I smiled and quickly entered the suite, closing the door behind me. I leaned on the smooth surface, lowering my eyelids and taking a deep breath.

“You’re late!”

Startled, my eyes flew open to find Andrew a few feet away, staring out the window, his arm extended overhead as he leaned on the glass. His other hand was in his pocket.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“What exactly are you sorry for, Zoe?”

He turned in my direction, putting his other hand in his pocket. His face was filled with torment, as though he’d been hunted by a thousand demons and didn’t know how to slay them.

“She’s mine, isn’t she?” he asked icily.

I could only nod.

“When did you intend on telling me?”

“I didn’t intend to,” I admitted, raising my gaze, which collided with his.

“How could you?” he hissed.

“How could I what?” I said. “Not tell you I was pregnant?”

“Yes!”

“Well, Andrew, a child wasn’t exactly in our plans, was it? It was only sex, and there was a little glitch.” I spoke slowly, even though I was fighting a war inside: the me who felt guilty versus the me who was indignant at Andrew’s behavior.

“When did you find out?” he persisted.

“Two days before our last date.”

“And it never occurred to you that I’d have the right to know? You didn’t find it necessary to tell me I was about to become a father and to give me the chance to choose?” His voice held a snarl.

My reaction was completely unexpected. I burst out laughing. Not because I was amused, but because what he was asking seemed so absurd. Had he forgotten the way he’d treated me? The indifference with which he’d ended our relationship?

“What the fuck do you have to laugh about?”

“You’re ridiculous!”

“I’m what?” His face turned purplish-red, and I saw uncontrollable anger in his eyes.

“Oh, come on, Andrew, stop making a scene. You don’t care. Just like you didn’t care four years ago. In all probability you would have accused me of trapping you, and you would have pushed for an abortion.” I lost it, letting out feelings and emotions that I’d kept inside for too long.

“I was supposed to know!”

“No, no, you weren’t. I didn’t want anything from you. Not your compassion, and even less so your money. And you didn’t want me. You certainly wouldn’t have wanted Olivia. I did what was best for us!”