Stealing Harper (12 page)

We’d just have to deal with this, and the sooner, the better.

I grabbed the phone and ran up the stairs and to my room, taking another deep breath before opening the door and praying to God that when she broke the news to Brandon, he didn’t somehow suck her into staying with him. Her eyes lit up, and the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen crossed her face momentarily before falling when she saw whatever expression I currently had.

“You might want to answer that when he calls again.” I dropped the phone next to her and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it felt like more of a grimace as I turned around and went back out the door to finish cooking. As I was passing the entryway I felt my pocket vibrate and grabbed my phone to find five calls from Breanna, two from Brandon, and twenty-two texts from both of them begging me to check on Harper because she hadn’t picked up her phone and was sick and alone. The most recent from Bree was saying everyone was going to leave LA in a couple hours.
Fucking awesome.

When I got back upstairs with the food, Harper had the comforter over her head, and I almost wished she would put it back over when she pulled it down. That crushed look was in her eyes again, and though I knew this would be hard for her since it wasn’t a secret she was in love with my best friend, that look was terrifying me. I put the plates between us and ate silently as I watched her holding a piece of bacon and staring at the covers. Almost ten minutes of her in that exact position, and I was about ready to beg her to reassure me that we would be okay. I felt like such a girl, but I had one of those ominous feelings in my gut, like this wasn’t about to go my way.

I placed my hand on her back and rubbed small circles against it as I finally begged her to say something.

“Brandon will be back in a couple hours.”

“Shit.” I fell back against the headboard and rubbed my palms down my face, I didn’t want to deal with Bree and everyone’s being home; but I really didn’t want to have him here yet. “I thought he wouldn’t be back ’til tomorrow night.”

“He got scared when I didn’t answer the phone. Bree told him I was sick and alone, and since no one could get ahold of me . . .”

“Bree called me a few times, begging me to come check on you. Looks like they’re all heading home today, too.”

“Chase”—she turned to look at me, her eyes wide and terrified—“what should I do?”

“I can’t answer that for you, Princess. No one can.” Her question had the ache in my chest already starting, and God I didn’t want to ask her my next question. Even though I would have told you that just thirty minutes ago I knew what the answer was, by then I was worried that I didn’t. I looked at her hands, which she seemed so fascinated with all of a sudden, and forced it out. “Who do you want?”

“I don’t know!” she blurted out, and looked back at me. “I want you, Chase, but I can’t hurt him. I won’t hurt him any more than I have. I love him too much.”

My jaw dropped, and the air left my body.
What the hell? Does that mean . . . ?
I should have known, but I—I couldn’t.
What the hell am I supposed to do without her?

“No matter who I choose, people will get hurt. And then what happens if I leave him? He lives in your house, Chase. He’ll have to see us together, and it will kill him. I can’t do that to him! He loves me, he hopped the first flight he could because he was scared for me and wants to come back to take care of me. How am I supposed to tell him I’m in love with someone else after that? If I left him for you, it would be bad for us. He’d come after you, the guys in the house would take sides. We would be miserable. My body craves you, Chase, but I feel like I’m being torn in two. I just—I need a few weeks to think about this. Can you please give me that?”

But I love you, too.
Couldn’t she see that? Couldn’t she see she was crushing me? I ground my jaw to keep from saying any of that. If I wanted to win her, I couldn’t force her to choose me; she needed to come to me on her own. “Are you going to ask him to give you time, too?”

“No, I can’t.”

The fuck did she just say?
“So you’re just going to go back to him? Pretend like last night never happened? You’re so worried about hurting everyone else, do you even realize you’ll be hurting me?” I got off the bed. “Damn it, Harper, don’t you see that? I’m the one that will have to watch you with your boyfriend while waiting for you to figure out what you want!” I didn’t look at her again as I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I stormed down the stairs and paced back and forth in the living room before deciding to go back upstairs to just grab my shit and leave. But before I knew it, I had the phone to my ear.

“ ’Mmm ’lo?”

“Bri, put Marissa on the phone.”

“Chase?” he grumbled. “Fuck man, do you know what time it is.”

“No; put Marissa on the phone.”

“Shit, are you crying?” He sounded more alert now.

“No I’m—” I rubbed my hand over my eyes and pulled it back to find them wet. “Just put her on the damn phone!”

There was shuffling before I heard Marissa’s groggy voice; I knew that Brian had put me on speaker, but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore.
I’m losing the only girl I will ever love; not much else matters.
“Chach, what’s wrong? Brian said you’re crying?”

“I’m losing her, Riss, I’m losing Harper, and I don’t know what to do. I’m five seconds from leaving again, but I need to know if I’d fuck up everything for good by doing that.”

“Well, what happened?”

“I slept with her last night—”

“What?” they both yelled.

“—and now Brandon’s coming back, and she wants me to give her time, but I know she’s just saying that. She’s going back to him, like nothing between us ever fucking happened!”

“Hold up! Rewind. You slept with her?” Marissa sounded a little more composed now, “Okay, either Brian hasn’t been keeping me updated or some serious shit went down yesterday, so tell me everything.” She covered the speaker, and whispered to Brian, “I’m gonna punch you in the throat if you didn’t tell me this.”

“Riss, he didn’t know, so give him a break.” I stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up as I told them everything that led up to what happened last night and everything that happened this morning; the ache in my chest growing as I relived it all. “I can’t lose her. But she basically just threw last night in my face now that her boyfriend is coming back, and once again, I’m nothing to her.”

“God, Chase,” Brian said, “when did you become such a fucking girl?”

“I know”—I sighed—“I freakin’ feel like it.”

“Screw you, babe!” Marissa shouted, and suddenly she was talking loud enough I figured I was off speaker. “Chase, she loves you. You aren’t
nothing
to her, she’s just confused. She doesn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend is coming back, and she just admitted to his best friend that she’s in love with him too
and
lost her v-card to him. She’s probably freaking out. If she said she needs a few weeks, then give the girl a few weeks. But don’t just leave her, Chach.”

I snorted at her nickname for me. “Do you think this is all one big game to her?”

“No way. If it were, she wouldn’t have a problem leaving you.”

Just before I could ask how Marissa was sure she wouldn’t, the worst sound in the world sounded over the running water of the shower. “Fuck.”

“What? What happened?”

“I can hear her crying.” I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed a fistful as I pushed off the wall. “I gotta go to her, Marissa.”

“Damn straight you do! This is just as hard for her, probably harder because she’s the one who has to choose.”

I stumbled halfway up the steps at that. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she chooses him,” I said honestly. “I need her.”

“I know, Chach.”

“Gotta go, thanks Riss.” We said good-bye, and I tossed the phone on my bed, which just that morning had been a major part of my favorite moment in my life, and, I was afraid, would only ever be a memory.

I opened the door to my steam-filled bathroom, and the pained sobs that filled the room pierced my chest.

Oh, Princess.

Harper was holding herself up against the tile wall when I stepped in behind her, and I didn’t know how my heart could break any more. Grabbing around her waist, I turned her toward me and pressed her close to my body as hers shook with hard sobs. The thought of losing Harper had tears falling down my face for the second time that morning—before that day, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. But after that night with my princess, I didn’t know how I was supposed to go through life without her. I gripped her harder to me when her sobs quieted, and looked down at her puffy red eyes when her head tilted back to look up at me.

She looked at me for what felt like hours before speaking, her voice rough and scratchy from crying. “Why are you in here?”

Where else would I be?
My whole world was crashing down, and I was trying to hold on to it for as long as possible. “Because you need me, and if this is my last hour with you, I’m not going to waste another second of it.”

I bent to touch my lips softly to hers and was met with a hungry kiss that quickly escalated. I hadn’t taken the time to get out of my jeans when I got in there, and they were soaked, but we furiously worked at getting them off, all the while bringing our mouths back to each other’s and pressing our bodies closer. The hot water pelted down on us as I pushed Harper against one of the shower walls, the steam so heavy in the bathroom that there was nothing but my princess and me. Slowing down so I wouldn’t ruin, or ever forget this, I pulled away to look at her. Her bottom lip was trembling, the tears still falling from her passion-filled eyes as she watched me memorize every bit of her. I cupped her cheeks, wiping away tears and water from the shower before sucking on her bottom lip and taking her mouth with mine.

Her hands went up my chest, around my neck, and into my hair as I used the wall for leverage in lifting her up, wrapping her legs around me, and positioning myself at her entrance. I groaned, and a muffled cry left her when I pushed in and began to slowly make love to her for what I prayed wasn’t the last time but had a sinking feeling would be. Like I’d told her, if this was my last hour with her, my last time with her . . . there was no way I’d waste a moment of it. She climaxed, gripping the tensing muscles in my back and shoulders seconds before I followed. Not willing to end the moment, I just stood there with her in my arms, our foreheads pressed together, eyes locked on each other, and I hoped she understood that I was hers, completely and undeniably, forever. That if I had all of this to do all over again, I would change everything. And that in any life, in any situation, I’d choose her. Every time.

An hour and a half later we were sitting in my truck, outside my house, and I was gripping Harper’s hand like a lifeline. We hadn’t said a word since I’d told her why I was in the shower, but there wasn’t anything to say that we hadn’t been showing each other—that I loved her, and always would. And I had no doubt she loved me, too. It had been there in her eyes; but so had that look like someone had just crushed her heart, and I was terrified that her love for me wouldn’t be enough to keep her with me. But now, I knew I had to let her go for however long she needed to make a decision that could potentially change everything.

All too soon, she reached into her purse and grabbed the keys to Brandon’s Jeep, so she could go pick him up from the airport.

When she grabbed for the door handle, I said, quietly, “Harper, I will love you for the rest of my life.”

She sucked in a quick breath but didn’t turn to look at me, and before she hopped out of my truck and away from me, she whispered softly, “You will always be in my heart, Chase Grayson.”

I felt like I was dying as I watched her start up his Jeep and leave me sitting there. I tried to tell myself that we would figure this out, and she would come back to me. But as I turned my truck back on and headed toward the beach, I found it harder and harder to convince myself that she would be mine; and after an hour on the beach, I ended up talking myself into begging her to choose me instead.

Brandon’s Jeep was outside my house by the time I’d come back, as was most everyone’s, and after hearing Princess’s voice coming from the kitchen, I headed toward her and the smell of Chinese food, fully intent on pulling her to my room and
showing
her why she should be with me instead. I rounded the corner into the living room and saw Brandon and Harper, Harper in nothing but one of his shirts, laughing and flirting with Brandon.

My footsteps faltered, but I couldn’t make myself stop anymore; it hadn’t even been three hours since I’d been making love to her up against my shower wall, and she was wearing nothing but his shirt? Harper’s laugh instantly cut off when she saw me, and I watched as her jaw dropped, and her eyes got wide. They flashed quickly to Brandon, then back to me, and that was all I needed to know. Apparently, she hadn’t needed a few weeks, just a few hours. Brandon nodded at me, and with a hard nod back, I forced myself to my room and away from them so I could grab my board, sketchpads, and as much of my other shit as possible, so I could avoid seeing them like that again.

So I could avoid seeing them—period.

Chapter Nine

“C
HASE, HONEY?”

I closed my sketchbook and sighed. “Yeah, Mom?” I swear if she brought up—

“Sweetheart, we really should talk about whatever is going on.”

Yep . . . she was bringing it up again.

“You’re not even
mostly
living out of our house, you’re living here. Granted we don’t see you much since usually you’re surfing when we get up, then at the shop at night, but I’m not that dumb. You’re living here.”

“You’re not dumb at all, Mom.”

She set two mugs of coffee down on the table and sat next to me. “I was hoping you’d say that!” She laughed and pushed on my shoulder, but her laugh died when I continued to sit there with my arms crossed over my chest, “Okay, well since I seem to be awesome enough to be graced with your presence today”—I snorted when she rolled her eyes—“I’m gonna make you sit here and talk to me.”

“You’re gonna make me,” I deadpanned, and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t push me, Chase Austin Grayson. In all seriousness, your father and I are so worried about you. I was less worried when you were at your own home, but with you here and seeing how you’re pushing yourself—”

“Shouldn’t you be the one telling me that I need to push myself?”

“Not the way you have been! With the exception of three days, including today, over the last few weeks, you get up at dawn to go surfing, come home only to shower and change, then go to classes. Then you go straight to the shop, and you’re home after your dad and I are already asleep! And throughout all of this, you’ve just . . . lost you. The few times I have seen you, you look dead. You disappear completely on family days; Bree said she hasn’t even
seen
you in weeks and that Brad, Brandon, and the rest of the guys are really getting worried about you because you don’t talk to them or surf with them anymore . . . ? Chase, what is happening with you?”

I made a mental note to tell Bree to shut the hell up. “Mom, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve just been busy.”

“I call bullshit,” Dad said as he joined the conversation, looking like he was about to leave for work.

“Morning to you, too, Dad.”

“And you can drop the attitude, too. She said we’re worried about you, and we are. You’re an adult, you have your own house; so trust me when I say I have no problem telling you that I love you, but if you don’t tell us what’s going on and start respecting us, you can move right back out and into your house.”

Is
he serious?
I just sat there staring at both of them for a few minutes before deciding that he was and sighing heavily. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”

“Okay?” Dad drew out the word. Obviously, he wasn’t getting it.

“No, I mean
moving
moving. Like, moving away from San Diego.”

Mom gasped. “What?”

“After graduation.”

“Why?” Mom’s eyes were filling with tears, and Dad’s eyebrows were scrunched together.

“It’s just something I need to do.” I shrugged. “Something I want to do.”

“Why would you
need
to move away?” She started to cry, and I unfolded my arms, reached across, and grabbed her hand.

“Mom, it’s fine. It won’t be forever. I ju—” I broke off quickly and sat back.

“Son.”

I looked back to my dad and sighed “I can’t be around Harper and Brandon. I can’t be around her at all while she’s with him. It’s just too hard. And she’s pretty much a part of this family, and I can’t handle that right now. I’m in love with a girl who will never want me, so for now, I need to go.”

“But how long will be enough for you to be okay with it? What if they stay together? You can’t stay away forever!” Mom was on the verge of hysterics.

“I don’t know.” I looked up to my dad for help, but he was just shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t even know if I
will
move. It was just a thought. Mom, seriously, please don’t cry.”

“Just a thought?” She wiped under her eyes and let her hands fall to the table. “Chase, you’re already cutting ties with everyone. This isn’t a thought, you’re already beginning to execute this childish plan of yours!” The chair legs scraped across the tile as she scooted away from the table.

“Ma.”

She swatted my hand away when I reached for her and took off through the living room and up the stairs.

“If you want to be with Harper so bad that you can’t stand to be in the same city as her and her boyfriend,” Dad said, “then you need to fight for her. Not run from her.” He grabbed his briefcase off the table and caught my stare. “Whether she’s dating your best friend or not, she’s close with you, and it would hurt her to have you leave regardless.”

“I really doubt that.”

“So you’re going to punish your mother, me, your sister, and Harper by leaving because you won’t man up and fight for what you want? That’s not how we raised you, Chase.” And with that, he walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.

“Kinda pointless to fight for what you want when what you want continues to break your heart,” I whispered to the empty kitchen.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed away from the table and called Bree as I made my way to my truck.

“W
ELL WHAT DID
you expect me to say? Everyone’s worried about you, and you don’t show up to family day anymore. You’re making Mom sad!”

“Nothing. You say nothing, Breanna. I have my own reasons for doing what I’m doing, and I really don’t need you going to Mom and telling her everything you see or don’t see here, and I sure as shit don’t need you telling her what the guys are saying about me.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and she sucked in a deep breath, but before she could throw her attitude back at me, all the air came whooshing out of her body, and she bit down on her bottom lip, which had started to tremble.
Damn it.

“Bree,” I said softly, and rested my forearms on the kitchen table she was sitting at so I was eye level and closer to her.

“You’re my big brother, and I’m worried about you.” She took a shaky breath in, and her eyes glassed over when she looked up at me. “I’m afraid you’re getting into bad things with the way you’ve been acting. Your temper is through the roof, and your mood swings are epic lately. And that’s
when
we see you. Most the time, you’re gone. I’m worried about what you might be doing . . .” she trailed off.

“Hey.” I kissed the top of her head and hugged her hard before going back to resting on my forearms. “I’m not getting into anything bad, I swear. Nothing illegal, nothing Mom and Dad would be pissed about. I’m just having a hard time dealing with stuff, and I seem to be taking it out on everyone.”

“Well, what are you dealing with?”

I shook my head, “Nothin’ you need to worry about. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll try to be around more—come to family days and shit.”

“ ‘And shit.’ Nice.” She snorted and blinked back the rest of her tears. “All right. If you say there’s nothing going on, then there’s nothing going on. And I’ll try to keep my mouth shut about you around Mom and Dad.”

“I’d appreciate it. Love you, brat.”

Her smile got wide. “Love you too, punk.”

Just then, all the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end, and I wished I had gotten out of there sooner, or that Bree would have been at her dorm rather than my house. I straightened from leaning on the table and tried not to react when I heard her voice.

“Uh, good morning.” Harper said softly.

Bree’s smile got even bigger as she leaned over in the chair to look past me. “Morning, doll! How’d you sleep?”

I didn’t want to see her, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over my shoulder quickly before looking back at Bree.

“Pretty well,” Harper responded. “You?”

“Excellent.” Bree sounded like she was in a daze, and it didn’t take a genius to know why.

“Ugh, seriously Bree? Save it until I’m gone at least.” I wasn’t dumb, I knew my little sister wasn’t a virgin, but I didn’t want to know about it.

Without another glance at my princess, I took off for the master bedroom and slapped my hand against the door a few times before Brad opened it. His eyes narrowed, and he straightened so we were almost eye to eye, and instantly I knew what he was doing, and my body automatically tensed in preparation. Brad and I had met while working out and training at the same gym, McGowan’s, right after freshman year started at San Diego State University. We were always thrown into the ring together to spar since we were almost identical in height and weight, and had been friends ever since. We’d fought a little here and there in what they called “The Underground” in Southern California. Not exactly legal, great pay, and kept quiet so law enforcement wouldn’t find out. We’d also met Brandon through McGowan’s once he moved here, and had all formed what Bree likes to call a bro-mance through fighting and surfing. I knew I could never actually win a fight against Brandon—the asshole was unstoppable in the ring—and, let’s face it, he’s fuckin’ huge. Only two inches taller, but he’s got forty pounds of muscle on me. So I never expected to win a fight against Brandon, but that’s not why I started them. I just wanted an opportunity to punch the guy I’d come to love like a brother since he was with the girl that had quickly become my everything to me. Brad, though . . . I knew that Brad and I came out pretty even when it came to fighting. We’d been thrown in the ring enough times, never knowing who’d win, and at that moment he was ready to beat the shit outta me from the look of him. But I was done fighting.

I forced my body to relax but noticed Brad’s hands had clenched into fists, and he was still glaring.

“Shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” I shrugged.

“Brandon doesn’t deserve your bullshit, either.”

“I know; he’s not the one I’m mad at.”

Brad’s eyes went wide, and his fists unclenched as he stepped away from the door. He sat on the couch he’d put in his room, and I sat on a chair he had pulled up in front of the TV for gaming. “It’s been nice to not have any fights between the two of you, but your disappearing wasn’t what anyone wanted either.”

I nodded. “Finding it harder and harder to be near them, she’s all I think about anymore. But I know I’m the one who fucked up. I should’ve never pushed her away.”

“I don’t get you, man. You change your life for her, ruin your friendships for her . . . then you disappear for a few weeks, and now you’re just giving up; but you’re still in love with her?” Before I could respond, he shifted forward in the couch, and his voice got low. “Did you see her that weekend?”

My eyes snapped up to meet his, and my mouth fell open, but nothing came out.

“Look, I didn’t want to tell you she was staying because I knew you were going to be running by your parents’ house. That probably makes me just as much of an asshole to Brandon as you’ve been, but you and Harper needed to work this out. And with the depressing bullshit you’d been pulling, I knew you would have stayed away from her. So, did. You. See her?”

We continued to stare at each other before I leaned back in the chair with a groan and raked my hands down my face. “I love her.”

“Know that.”

“She loves me, too.” I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling and kept talking. “Spent that night and the next morning with her.”

“Shit, Chase.”

“And, well, you know everyone came back early. Princess got scared, and went back to Brandon.”

“And you disappeared.”

“Yep.” I sighed heavily and looked back at him. “She said she needed time, but I know she doesn’t. I’ve messed things up with her too much from the beginning for her to come to me.”

“So what are you gonna do now? Keep staying gone?”

“I don’t know. Told Mom and Dad this morning that I was thinking about moving away from San Diego after graduation to get away from them. But I just caught a glimpse of her for the first time in weeks, and I don’t think I can do that. I just can’t stay away from her.”

The door flew open, and Brandon didn’t even enter the room fully as he yelled, “Harper fainted, and she’s not waking up.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I was out of the chair and racing after him, with Brad right behind me before I fully registered what he had said. When I got to the kitchen, my princess, my entire world, was lying on the ground covered in sweat. Her eyes were wide open and bouncing between Bree, Brandon, Brad, and me.

Brandon went down on his knees next to her, and I gripped the island next to me. I wanted to be the one to make sure she was okay. “She’s awake?” he asked Bree.

“She’s okay, Chase,” Brad said low enough so only I could hear, and clapped my shoulder once. “She’s fine, calm down.”

There was a loud thud, followed by a moan from Harper. “Ow.”

I gripped the counter harder when Brandon reached for her, and her eyes locked on him. “Brad, get the couch ready for her.”

He walked away from me, and I worked on controlling my breathing as I watched my best friend take care of her. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. Harper asked if she’d fallen asleep in the kitchen, and for the first time since Brandon had rushed into the bedroom, I felt like laughing.

Bree laughed, but it sounded shaky. “Not quite. You passed out.”

“I did?” Harper’s already-wide eyes got even wider, and she looked scared.

“Yeah, Harper,” Bree responded. “Scared the crap out of us, too.”

Brad came back into the kitchen. “Couch is ready, so get her over there.”

Brandon went from his knees to a crouch and looked up at both Brad and me, but we were already stepping toward her. We’d all seen Brandon carry Harper more than enough times, and Lord knew I could carry that girl; but I hadn’t seen her go down, and none of us knew what was wrong with her. So with me at her head and shoulders, Brad holding her legs and Brandon carrying her body, we walked her over to the couch.

“I’m fine,” Harper groaned, and tried to sit up once we had her on the couch. “You’re all being ridiculous.”

Brandon looked at her like she was crazy and pushed her gently back down. “Sweetheart, you were out for—”